Proper Etiquette - Memorial Luncheon

[meliss8599]

DDs best friend's grandmother passed away two months ago and we sent a nice card at that time. They are having a memorial luncheon for the grandmother tomorrow. What is etiquette on what to give? Another card? They are not particularly religious so a mass card doesn't seem appropriate. We are close with the family since our DDs have been friends for so long, so I want to make sure I do something nice, but don't know if just attending to show our support is enough. Suggestions?

 

[LBIJim]

DDs best friend's grandmother passed away two months ago and we sent a nice card at that time. They are having a memorial luncheon for the grandmother tomorrow. What is etiquette on what to give? Another card? They are not particularly religious so a mass card doesn't seem appropriate. We are close with the family since our DDs have been friends for so long, so I want to make sure I do something nice, but don't know if just attending to show our support is enough. Suggestions?

Perhaps a contribution to a charity in memory of the woman.

 

[scrapquitler]

I think attending to show support is enough. If you want to do something more, a small donation to her chosen charity is a nice gesture, but not required.

 

[Dawnlight]

I don't think any gift is needed, but if your friend has a garden, then maybe some flowers to plant in her grandmother's memory.

 

[anniemae]

I don't think a gift is necessary. I think attending the lunch to honor her is showing your support and will mean the world to the family. You already gave a card.

 

[bsblady01]

I would make some food to take to the family

 

[SMD]

I would make some food to take to the family

Isn't that kind of weird 2 months later. Especially at a luncheon? I could understand right after, but it doesn't seem necessary at this point.

 

[bsblady01]

Isn't that kind of weird 2 months later. Especially at a luncheon? I could understand right after, but it doesn't seem necessary at this point.

no it's not weird at all

 

[minnie mum]

I would make some food to take to the family

I don't think that bringing food to a hosted meal is appropriate unless it is a pot luck.

OP, I don't think that a gift is necessary or expected for something like this. But if you feel like you need to do something, making a donation to their favourite charity would be a nice gesture.

 

[emma'smom]

I'd write them a note saying you are continuing to think of them....the plant is a nice idea too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Card with a note.

 

[NewRVLady]

Ok-I have never heard of a memorial luncheon?
I have been to a memorial SERVICE-because the deceased willed his body to science. There was a prayer service , then many, many stood up and spoke of the gentleman-it was very nice.

I just don't 'get" what this is-or what you DO at it??????

 

[Kimberlyann11]

Ok-I have never heard of a memorial luncheon?
I have been to a memorial SERVICE-because the deceased willed his body to science. There was a prayer service , then many, many stood up and spoke of the gentleman-it was very nice.

I just don't 'get" what this is-or what you DO at it??????

We had one for my stepdad. It was a luncheon, so of course we ate, and then everyone who wanted to had a chance to stand and say a few words about Dave and how he impacted our lives.

So maybe it's like a memorial service except with food instead of praying. He was not a religious man so we didn't want prayers.

ETA - We didn't expect any gifts.

 

[meliss8599]

We had one for my stepdad. It was a luncheon, so of course we ate, and then everyone who wanted to had a chance to stand and say a few words about Dave and how he impacted our lives.

So maybe it's like a memorial service except with food instead of praying. He was not a religious man so we didn't want prayers.

ETA - We didn't expect any gifts.

Thanks everyone for your replies. Yes, it was a nice luncheon where there were family and personal photos displayed and whoever wanted to speak of memories of her could. I ended up purchasing a beautiful triple orchid and brought it to the luncheon and they chose to display it very prettily near the display of pictures. Thanks for all the suggestions. I felt much better not showing up empty-handed.

 

[scrapquitler]

We had one for my stepdad. It was a luncheon, so of course we ate, and then everyone who wanted to had a chance to stand and say a few words about Dave and how he impacted our lives.

So maybe it's like a memorial service except with food instead of praying. He was not a religious man so we didn't want prayers.

ETA - We didn't expect any gifts.

This is pretty common in our area of Vermont. There aren't that many religious people, and it's pretty common for people to have a private funeral (or none) and then later they have a 'celebration of life' where everyone gets together somewhere and has a luncheon and talks about the person who passed away. Sometimes it's at a private home, sometimes a park, or a restaurant. It's usually a lot more upbeat than a funeral/wake.