Prom - A 4 letter word I don't want to hear!

[luvmarypoppins]

Well at ds school they actually call it a formal and they said even juniors and sophmores can come if they pay too. Its a very small private school. They are having it at a nice restraunt. I guess I was looking forward to it but now I could care less. Sophmore ds said 2 girls friends came up to him and kind of hinted if they would take their friends. He was honest with me and told me he is not interested. I told him to honestly and nicely tell them. Next story, senior ds. He has chosen a girl who is his "friend". Dh and I are very upset that she 1. Already has a boyfriend, 2. Doesnt even live around here etc. We told him there are many girls who would be happy to go with you who already attend your school etc. I just think he is doing it to annoy us. He said, I want to go and have fun, I can have fun with her and we are just friends. etc. DH and I are not paying for anything. I also feel like I dont even want a picture of it. I am going to tell ds to just take a picture with the digital camera. He also ruined his graduation pictures by not getting a haircut. He looks like he has a birds nest on top of his head. I know after he was not happy about this either, but again, he did this just to aggravate me because I kept bugging him to get a haircut etc. I said, be happy, this is what everyone will remember how you look etc. You cant change it. That is why I dont want the other pictures either. We spent alot of money and they are really terrible. I dont know if it will be the same photographer or not. Well thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Sandy V.]

I'm sorry you're upset, but it is HIS prom, so I think your senior son should ask who HE wants to go with him.

Please take lots of pictures - I'm not trying to be morbid, but your senior son will never have another prom and no one can predict the future, so although you may be upset right now, those pictures will be precious to you when he's all grown up.

I don't mean to open a can of worms, but when you say that you're not paying for anything for your son's prom, are you doing it to punish him for not doing things the way you and your DH want?

Best Wishes - I have an 18 year old DD and an almost 16 year old DS, so I know parenting teens can be challenging.

 

[mom2boys]

Take a deep breathe. You sound extremely frustrtated. Just remember that it is your son's prom and his life. As long as she is a decent girl which it sounds like she is, I say let him go and have fun - especially since he is paying.
Let him enjoy the rest of his senior year.

 

[ozarkmom]

Really try to relax and enjoy the rest of his senior year. My oldest son graduated last year and it was one of the best and saddest years of my life. Last football game, last baseball game, prom, senior pictures, having fun with his friends most of which he'd known since preschool and I might add were just the best group of kids you could be around. Then graduation and the party we have afterwards. I laughed and cried the whole year. When he comes in from college I one minute feel so proud and the next minute I miss that boy that I had . So try to enjoy!

 

[mickeyboat]

Next story, senior ds. He has chosen a girl who is his "friend". Dh and I are very upset that she 1. Already has a boyfriend, 2. Doesnt even live around here etc. We told him there are many girls who would be happy to go with you who already attend your school etc. I just think he is doing it to annoy us. He said, I want to go and have fun, I can have fun with her and we are just friends. etc. DH and I are not paying for anything. I also feel like I dont even want a picture of it. I am going to tell ds to just take a picture with the digital camera.

You are not going to like what I am about to say. I know you are just venting, we all need to sometimes, so don't take it personally. And I'm sure you will take a deep breath and a step back as suggested above.

But you are sounding like one of those awful MIL's everyone complains about on the DIS all the time. "MIL didn't like the bridesmaids dresses we picked out, so she refused to come to the wedding." MIL didn't like the way I decorated the Christmas tree, so she wouldn't sit for the family pictures in front of it."

I am not suggesting you are being that petty, but you have really lost sight of what's really important here - the big picture, if you will. It's his prom, he's paying for it. It's about him, not you. Let him enjoy it the way he wants to. If he has a great time, wonderful. If not, he's learned a lesson - with very minimal consequences.

Denae

 

[MagicalMom]

I know you are just venting, but I would reconsidering taking a few pics. Chances are he'll have a great time & may want to look back at those pictures some day.

 

[tar heel]

Your DS is 18. He should be able to choose his own prom date and his own hairstyle. My 18-year-old's hair looks ridiculous at the moment IMO, but it's his hair and I wouldn't dream of skipping a prom picture b/c his hair hasn't been combed (He doesn't comb it -- he shakes his head like a dog would) and is hanging in his eyes. Remember that these girls who "would be happy to go with him" are not the girls HE wants to take.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

I guess I should clarify a few things. No, he cant choose his own hairstyle because he goes to a private school that has rules about this. I can't believe he actually didnt get in trouble for it before the senior portraits were taken. (Too long etc.) In the summer he has his own hairstyle. I dont mind the pictures, I told him to use the digital camera and take alot of pictures. I just dont want to pay the professional photographer if they have one because I feel he didnt do such a good job on the senior potraits of ds. No, we arent paying for prom just because we dont like his date etc. Ds has a job, lots of money in the bank and even says to us, you know I am a cheapo etc. We have bought him a very nice used car for his 18th birthday and graduation. He has paid the insurance and we have paid over $600 for his senior class trip to disney in may, so I guess our money tree for him is dried up at the present. I guess dh and I are worried since we have never met this girls actual boyfriend and we are worried if he would take out any hurt or angry feelings against our ds one day. Like you took my girlfriend to your prom etc. DH and I also told ds we feel this girl is very rude. Several times with us and with ds when he is driving her somewhere she is on the phone talking to her boyfriend and ignoring us etc. Yes it is his life and I hope he has a good time at the prom. I just feel this girl is not appreciative of all ds efforts.Like if he is spending his money on the tickets, renting a tux etc. then she shouldnt be on her cell phone talking to her boyfriend during the event which she probably will because she always does this anyway. I guess in May you will see my thread about how it all turned out. Should be interesting. And if my younger ds goes which he is allowed to do because of the school rules that should be interesting to the mix, I am sure the ds will be saying to each other stay away from me and be with your own friends etc. Oh the joys of parenting teens! Gotta love it.

 

[tar heel]

Your original post didn't say anything about there being something WRONG with the girl, only that she had a boyfriend and was your DS's friend. The two posts are so different that I'm not sure what your true objection is to her. If it's that she isn't deserving of your son, I understand totally. I also think you should vent here instead of to your son b/c he's already decided what he wants to do and obviously finds his date acceptable.

I don't see any reason to get the professional prom pictures. My DS and his GF didn't get them last year, but they have plenty of photos of the event.