Problems with Boy Scouts

[riopooh]

I posted this on the Community Board but I thought I might find more people familiar w/ Boy Scouting on the camping board.

My son has been involved w/ a local Boy Scout troop for almost a year. he joined from Webelos with a group that had been together since Tigers. His best friend joined also but has since left. He has known these kids for years but no real close buddies. The past two camp outs he ended up tenting by himself. Now he is talking about quitting.

My issue: I know it is supposed to be boy run - but I don't think having a kid sleep by himself is a good idea (morale-wise). The leader leaves it up to the boys and my son (who doesn't speak up for himself) gets left out. This is our first experience with this.

Does anybody familiar with scouts agree with me that assigning tentmates be a better idea? Any ideas or suggestions? I'd hate to see my son quit - he enjoys most of the activities. Thanks.

 

[lookingforward]

I know how you feel. My sons have had the not so good and the best of boy scout experiences. In CT my son's experience was awful. His leaders would actually bring their own food...for instance the boys would have to prepare the food and the leaders would make them cook one thing for them and then prepare steak and potatos for the leader and his flunkies. One time we had to meet at the campground at 6 p.m. The leader showed up at 10 and made the boys get up to set up his tent. It was bizarre. No amount of talking could have improved the situation. So we quit.

Then, in FL we had a great group of people who, even three years later remain our good friends. The leaders were fair and organized and the focus was on the boys not their steak dinners

In your situation I would try speaking with the powers that be. I am guessing your son is still fairly young so he would not even have to know. Perhaps he misses his best friend who quit. Or maybe they are just not even aware of the situation. See what happens. The leader should take it upon himself to make sure the boys are adhering to the boy scout values which would include making sure that everyone is treated equally. If they make sure your son is with other boys it won't be long before he makes friends with a few.

This kind of problem reminds me how different girls are from boys. Most boys would do exactly what your son did....go to a tent alone not complain. (of course I would be upset...but I am their mother)! My daughter on the other hand, would have been HYSTERICAL if she had to go to a tent by herself. Just an observation.

 

[clkelley]

I guess all Troops are different. In our troop, for weekend camping trips, each Scout (and adult) brings their own tent, so most of the boys tent alone. A couple of them may buddy up, but for the most part everybody sets up their own.

Now for summer camp where tents are provided, the Senior Patrol Leader makes the tenting assignments (with the guidance of the SM).

Also, in our troop, each patrol brings their own food, (and the adult patrol brings their own food). The boys cook for themselves, and the adults cook for themselves.

When you were searching for your troop, did you visit different troops, or just bridge up to your "feeder" troop? When my boys first joined Boy Scouts, that's what we did, just moved up. A couple of years later after some problems, we finally did what we should have done in the first place and visited about 5 different troops. Wow! What a difference. Both of my boys stayed in Scouting till the day they turned 18 and my oldest earned his Eagle. My youngest didn't, but he was on staff for National Jamboree and was Senior Patrol Leader.

I'm still Committee Chair even though my boys are no longer active. Allthough they still come on camping trips about twice a year. (The fun high adventure stuff).

 

[leprechaun]

It sounds like a bit of a power trip to me.
In our troop we won't allow a scout to have a tent alone because of safe scouting guide lines. That's a National BSA rule. No less than 2 no more than 4. No one wants any shanagans of any kind, not just the obvious. Like CLKelly our troop cook and clean up by patrols. No kings are cooked for or served unless we are having a cooking contest which is pre planned and only a sample is nessesary.
There are good and bad leaders everywhere. If your son is willing there are great troops and leaders near by. Try contacting your local district council and explain your situation and try another troop. There is also a venture program for 14 to 21 year olds with both boys and girls that are themed towards different activities or careers.
good luck
YIS

 

[ktmdad450]

As they mentioned above, sounds like you and your son need to go "troop shopping" you are not lock into your area council, you can go outside of coucil for a different troop. my son is 14, and is knocking on the door step of eagle. We have several eagles that keep coming back! you want a troopp that lets the scouts run the troop, and the patrols needd to be mixed in age and rank. also, have the scoutmaster show you at least a six month itinerary plan. that way, you know ther troop is doing something.........

 

[kimmikayb]

You know, in Girl Scouts you have the buddy system...it's a never break rule. I thought Boy Scouts had the same rule? If talking to the leaders doesn't help, you can check out other troops. Shop around for the right fit.

 

[clkelley]

It sounds like a bit of a power trip to me.
In our troop we won't allow a scout to have a tent alone because of safe scouting guide lines. That's a National BSA rule. No less than 2 no more than 4. No one wants any shanagans of any kind, not just the obvious. Like CLKelly our troop cook and clean up by patrols. No kings are cooked for or served unless we are having a cooking contest which is pre planned and only a sample is nessesary.
There are good and bad leaders everywhere. If your son is willing there are great troops and leaders near by. Try contacting your local district council and explain your situation and try another troop. There is also a venture program for 14 to 21 year olds with both boys and girls that are themed towards different activities or careers.
good luck
YIS

The Guide to Safe Scouting does not require boys to tent together. It does require the buddy system when they walk away from camp. It requires two adults to go on outings and no one on one with an adult and a boy (except parent/son). However that is not what this thread is about.

The OP's son needs to first speak to his Patrol Leader, or Troop Guide, then Senior Patrol Leader. Try to let him work it out on his own. If that doesn't work, then mom or dad should speak to the SM. If that doesn't work, volunteer to be an adult leader and help the boys "learn to lead", if that doesn't work, go troop hunting.

YIS
CC - Troop 8 Greater Alabama Council
2005 National Jamboree Boating Staff

 

[sahm3]

I just had a discussion yesterday with my sons new boy scout leader. He just moved up to Boy Scouts and is going on his first camping trip with them at the end of the month. They put boys together in tents. If there is an odd number, he says there are always older boys that would love their own tent. Or they can put three smaller boys together in one tent. So I am not concerned. Theysaid that never are adults allowed in the tents with the boys. Maybe father/son would be an exception. Not sure.

 

[kmccain]

My son has been a Scout since Tigers (5) and now his is 16.

I am sorry to say the description of your son's scouting experience has been the same. All the boys from his original group has quit also.

He has stuck it out and we are praying that he makes Eagle. He is only 3 badges and his project away.

The usually pitch their own tents, it's just easier. They usually have fund for yourself or bring your own food. The leaders end up with a nice meal but the boys are told "no hot dogs" or easy things. I know it is wrong but he has his 12 month camping badge and just doesn't go overnight camping much anymore. Another thing they do is all day Saturday, Saturday night into Sunday. He has no desire to spend that much time with them and their rules.

I think it is a good learning experience and has been good for him to learn to fend for himself.

 

[eeyore45]

SAfe Scouting is the key - for our troop of Boys we instill that, we set the example, we expect the Boys to lead by example... if your son feels left out, he doesnt feel "safe" Safe Scouting is an "umbrella" for a lot of shennigans imho -

I agree, you could bring up your concern to the Committee Chairman - ask the Scoutmaster, who the Committee Chairman is, then ask the CC what the guidelines are for "safe scouting" find out how many adults are trained - The Scoutmaster should be trained in Outdoor leadership Skills, as well as Scoutmaster/Assistant Scoutmaster Training- -

I help my dh at Scoutmaster/Ast SM training... we emphasize Safe Scouting. We encourage all adults to get basic training, and all our Scoutmasters/ or assitant scoutleaders do get Outdoor leadership training (I've done both, as well as Woodbadge - now if the adult leaders have Woodbadge training ask if its the "New course or old course" if its the old course, then they may not be as willing to listen to your concerns... imho... (and yes I"m painting witha broad stroke!)

As others have stepped up to say look at other troops in the council, as well as outside the council - My son is 20, an Eagle Scout, he started at one troop and moved to another - much happier, but his 2nd year the older Scouts had a "leadership tent" of 5 Scouts.. he just was himself, but those boys were always on his case - we brought it to the comittee, I didnt think anything would change as one of the boys that had an "attitude" his father was the Committee Chairman...

I was wrong!! That man was incensed when he heard about the campout - you mean her son was giving service to the younger scouts, helping them learn AND YOU HAD A PROBLEM WITH THAT??" I knew from that moment on, my son may encounter bumps along the way, but he was in a Troop that cared.

Looking at a 6 month plan is also good advice - our Troop camps once a month and they do set out a plan, the plan changes, because it is strictly boy led, and adult supported - so the boys decide where they want to camp and the adults make it happen (making reservations, getting dates set etc)

Feel free to PM me if I can help, I dont have the Training on tent camping memorized but I'll go look it up - - our troop is 2 (buddy system) and if its an odd number 3 kids in one tent, we never allow a lone scout... we have had instances where a scout has to tent with his father - but never any other adult!!

 

[eeyore45]

The Guide to Safe Scouting does not require boys to tent together. It does require the buddy system when they walk away from camp. It requires two adults to go on outings and no one on one with an adult and a boy (except parent/son). However that is not what this thread is about.

THat's not true, from a Youth protection standpoint if a scout is alone, there is no way to argue against it because a scout is alone - its not safe to tent alone, they dont let adults sleep alone in our council (I asked dh - that's his statement - )

However we did a quick search in the Guide to Safe Scouting (http://www.scouting.org/pubs/gss/toc.html) Dh thought it was covered under Youth Protection... we couldnt find it,

I know this is going to bug him!! lol ("why wouldnt you want it? ie at least 2 scouts in a tent? the whole thing is getting along, and in the dark at night, its scarry, that's why there is a buddy")

Good Luck!!

 

[clkelley]

THat's not true, from a Youth protection standpoint if a scout is alone, there is no way to argue against it because a scout is alone - its not safe to tent alone, they dont let adults sleep alone in our council (I asked dh - that's his statement - )


Good Luck!!

Don't allow adults to sleep alone??!!! Wow, that is way weird. What if you have one adult male and one adult female as a leader on an outing and they're not married?? They definitely can't tent together!!!

 

[auntie]

Also from Long Island here...my older son was in cub scouts for a while..two different communites. Gotta tell ya..I was even a Den mom for two years. It got to be a "pat yourselves on the back" club. Sorry..but that's the way it was where we are. The uppity ups...got all the praise..and those of us who did the weekly meetings and the work..well forget it..wasn't worth the bother...and the kids catch on to it after a while. Don't know if the Boy Scouts are any different...we never made it that far. I hear lots of good things..so maybe it's just the communities we were in. If you are determined that your son remain, I'd certainly speak up and find out why it is that he is the only one tenting alone. Only you don't want the other boys finding out ...because then he will just be teased because mom steped in. Tough call. Good luck to you.