Pro Choice or Not

[chobie]

I haven't once said that they were in an equal position. If the reason that the woman wants to have an abortion is because her life is at stake, then by all means it is her decision. However, if she wants to have the abortion as a means of birth control or simply to avoid the pain, than we have a diferent situation.

I have answered your question in saying I don't know who should make the decision. What I have been saying that the man has some rights and they need to be discussed in a fair manner and not just paid lip service to. In the mean time, you are trying to put words in my mouth and others without really contributing much of your own.

The man has the right to try and talk the woman into making the choice he wants. That's it.

As to contributing, when people think that women being the ones who gestate and give birth is merely my opinion....well it kind of hard to have a conversation.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Completely pro-choice and completely anti-abortion.

I think that dads should have a say. It is their baby, too. If they are willing to take the child and support it, I don't see why the mom should get to have the abortion anyway. But that's more of a moral issue than a legal one. Can't really legislate it, I don't think.

And I'm on the fence about child support. If the mom can just have an abortion, then the dad should get the option of walking away, too. If he says, right from the get-go that he wants no part of the baby then maybe he should be able to walk away, too.

None of it is really fair, but that's the way God set it up. Men get kind of screwed on the baby thing. But they don't have to deal with the "monthly visitor", so maybe it works out in the end, lol. (joke.)

That's my $.02.

 

[declansdad]

The man has the right to try and talk the woman into making the choice he wants. That's it.

As to contributing, when people think that women being the ones who gestate and give birth is merely my opinion....well it kind of hard to have a conversation.

Your right it is hard to have a conversation with someone who doesn't want to.

 

[chobie]

Your right it is hard to have a conversation with someone who doesn't want to.

There is nothing to converse about. It's the woman's body.

 

[Planogirl]

Morally, it only seems fair in most cases that the father have some say-so. But the reality is that the woman can go out and terminate the pregnancy at any time. The man can't stop her and the man also can't force her to terminate the pregnancy if she doesn't want to.

 

[LuvDuke]

Woman, Mother, anti-abortion for me, but Pro-Choice for others.

As far as the sperm donor, he can have a say in the choice if:

1) He pays 50% of ALL medical bills, vitamins, prescriptions

2) He pays 50% of ALL maternity clothing costs

3) For the first trimester - he has to take a teaspoon of ipecac every 4 hours to induce nausea and vomiting for 3 months and try to do your job when you'd rather just die

3) If any pay is lost due to missing work by the woman for doctors appts, hospitalizations, etc - He must forfeit an equal amount of pay.

4) He MUST take time off from work for every single doctor's appt, possibly putting his career on hold just like the woman possibly is

5) He pays for 50% of all baby needs - crib, sheets, mattresses, clothes

6) During the last trimester - he cannot tie his own shoes. He must rely on help to tie his shoes.

7) If he is a belly sleeper, he must be forced to sleep on his back as soon as his incubator cannot sleep on her tummy.

8) During labor, a nurse must kick him in the groin every 5 minutes, every 2 minutes, every 1 minute. He must learn to breathe through it without screaming.

If the guy wants 50% of the choice, he has to make 50% of the sacrifice

More seriously, while medicine has done miracles with child birth, it is still one of the most dangerous and life threatening experiences a woman can go through.

I know a woman that suffered an embolism during labor. She now has the mental capacity of a 6 month old. She will never enjoy her children, nor will her children know their mother.

Women still suffer seizures and a host of problems during childbirth.

It seems that many pro-life people believe that child birth is just a walk in the park without any kind of risk to the mother-to-be. It is still one of the most dangerous procedures a woman can go through.

Gloria Steinem said it best years ago: If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

 

[LuvDuke]

There is nothing to converse about. It's the woman's body.

I don't even know why I get involved in these discussions. As far as I'm concerned, abortion is a privacy issue between a woman and her doctor. For me, it starts and ends there. It's very nice for people to have opinions, but as far as I'm concerned, they don't amount to much when it comes to one's private decisions.

 

[cgcruz]

Here's my motto I learned from The Simpsons, "Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others."

 

[Free4Life11]

I am a male and pro-choice. I'm also very much in favor of people who CHOOSE to use birth control. Somehow I've made it 21 years without being anyone's baby daddy. I think that if the father wants the mother to have an abortion, but she choose not to, he should not have to pay child support.

 

[Cool-Beans]

What I don't get is why a woman who is planning to abort even tells the guy. Why say, "Oh, just wanted to let you know that I'm carrying your child, but am going to abort it. Have a nice day."

If she'd just keep her mouth shut, he wouldn't say, "Wait! I want the baby!"

 

[MrsKreamer]

I am a woman, mother of two, and pro-life.

 

[Bichon Barb]

Assuming that when a woman conceives she is in a loving relationship with the sperm donor of course there should be and most likely will be discussion about what to do about the pregnancy. I think in many cases if the man wants to continue the pregnancy and the woman believes he is sincere about it, the woman will go ahead.

BUT she will have the final say. It is her body. That might not seem fair to some, but life ain't always fair.

If something should go wrong, and her life is in jeopardy, it should be her decision to terminate. Personally, I cannot fathom my husband wishing to continue a pregnancy where my life is in danger.

 

[Oreo Cookie]

Woman, Mother, anti-abortion for me, but Pro-Choice for others.

As far as the sperm donor, he can have a say in the choice if:

1) He pays 50% of ALL medical bills, vitamins, prescriptions

2) He pays 50% of ALL maternity clothing costs

3) For the first trimester - he has to take a teaspoon of ipecac every 4 hours to induce nausea and vomiting for 3 months and try to do your job when you'd rather just die

3) If any pay is lost due to missing work by the woman for doctors appts, hospitalizations, etc - He must forfeit an equal amount of pay.

4) He MUST take time off from work for every single doctor's appt, possibly putting his career on hold just like the woman possibly is

5) He pays for 50% of all baby needs - crib, sheets, mattresses, clothes

6) During the last trimester - he cannot tie his own shoes. He must rely on help to tie his shoes.

7) If he is a belly sleeper, he must be forced to sleep on his back as soon as his incubator cannot sleep on her tummy.

8) During labor, a nurse must kick him in the groin every 5 minutes, every 2 minutes, every 1 minute. He must learn to breathe through it without screaming.

If the guy wants 50% of the choice, he has to make 50% of the sacrifice

More seriously, while medicine has done miracles with child birth, it is still one of the most dangerous and life threatening experiences a woman can go through.

I know a woman that suffered an embolism during labor. She now has the mental capacity of a 6 month old. She will never enjoy her children, nor will her children know their mother.

Women still suffer seizures and a host of problems during childbirth.

It seems that many pro-life people believe that child birth is just a walk in the park without any kind of risk to the mother-to-be. It is still one of the most dangerous procedures a woman can go through.

This is a great post and worth repeating.

 

[chobie]

Assuming that when a woman conceives she is in a loving relationship with the sperm donor of course there should be and most likely will be discussion about what to do about the pregnancy. I think in many cases if the man wants to continue the pregnancy and the woman believes he is sincere about it, the woman will go ahead.

BUT she will have the final say. It is her body. That might not seem fair to some, but life ain't always fair.

If something should go wrong, and her life is in jeopardy, it should be her decision to terminate. Personally, I cannot fathom my husband wishing to continue a pregnancy where my life is in danger.

That's it in a nutshell. Most of the women I know who had abortions (which non have regretted BTW), would have had the baby if the man involved would have wanted that. In those cases, the men did have say and their say won. I don't have the statistics to back this up, but from my personal experiences, what the man wants usually wins out --and no laws are needed to enforce that. Yes there are a few women who will give birth to spite a man and get a piece of his paycheck, and the men should have some recourse through the courts other than just being made to pay child support no questions asked. I agree with that. But I think child support and a woman's body are two separate issues.

About your last statement- I feel the same way. I would have never married my husband if I thought for a minute he would sacrifice my life for his DNA. I have heard men say that "we made the decision that if something were to happen we would choose the baby's life" Huh? It's one thing for a man to say that he would support his wife's decision to put the baby's life first, but to say he had a part in the decision as whether she lives or dies, just disturbs me on so many levels.

 

[chobie]

This is a great post and worth repeating.

Indeed. I vote Nana Annie for President!

 

[declansdad]

Assuming that when a woman conceives she is in a loving relationship with the sperm donor of course there should be and most likely will be discussion about what to do about the pregnancy. I think in many cases if the man wants to continue the pregnancy and the woman believes he is sincere about it, the woman will go ahead.

BUT she will have the final say. It is her body. That might not seem fair to some, but life ain't always fair.

If something should go wrong, and her life is in jeopardy, it should be her decision to terminate. Personally, I cannot fathom my husband wishing to continue a pregnancy where my life is in danger.

That's it in a nutshell. Most of the women I know who had abortions (which non have regretted BTW), would have had the baby if the man involved would have wanted that. In those cases, the men did have say and their say won. I don't have the statistics to back this up, but from my personal experiences, what the man wants usually wins out --and no laws are needed to enforce that. Yes there are a few women who will give birth to spite a man and get a piece of his paycheck, and the men should have some recourse through the courts other than just being made to pay child support no questions asked. I agree with that. But I think child support and a woman's body are two separate issues.

About your last statement- I feel the same way. I would have never married my husband if I thought for a minute he would sacrifice my life for his DNA. I have heard men say that "we made the decision that if something were to happen we would choose the baby's life" Huh? It's one thing for a man to say that he would support his wife's decision to put the baby's life first, but to say he had a part in the decision as whether she lives or dies, just disturbs me on so many levels.

Just so we're clear, I'm not talking about the man "winning" or putting the woman's life in jeopardy. What I have been saying that there needs to be a way for both people to discuss the issue and both peopls's viws need to carry some weight.

 

[Bichon Barb]

About your last statement- I feel the same way. I would have never married my husband if I thought for a minute he would sacrifice my life for his DNA. I have heard men say that "we made the decision that if something were to happen we would choose the baby's life" Huh? It's one thing for a man to say that he would support his wife's decision to put the baby's life first, but to say he had a part in the decision as whether she lives or dies, just disturbs me on so many levels.

It's mind boggling to think a man would rather have the mother if his children die. Call me selfish, but if I were pregnant and told that I was going to die if I continued the pregnancy, I would terminate immediately. I love my two sons that much. And even though they might not always admit it, I think they kinda dig me too and would be sad if I was no longer around. I have no doubt that my husband would feel the same way.

Would it be heart wrenching to go through with something like that? Of course! Especially if it were after the first trimester.

Okay, enough of this depressing talk. I have a Cinco de Mayo party to prepare for. LOL.

 

[chobie]

Just so we're clear, I'm not talking about the man "winning" or putting the woman's life in jeopardy. What I have been saying that there needs to be a way for both people to discuss the issue and both peopls's viws need to carry some weight.

Would you be in favor of a law that the woman must notify the father of the decision to terminate? I would support that if there was a bypass for women who have been abused by the father and have reasons to fear for their well-being.

I would also support a burden of presumption against child support if the woman did not notifiy the man she was pregnant early enough so he could inform her that he does not intend to support the child.

As for the "weight" a man's view carries, I think that should only come into play in child support awards, never should he have any
weight" in a decision for medical procedure on her body (whether it is abortion or childbirth).

 

[disneygirl725]

I'm a woman, and I am pro-life, with a few exceptions... but pro-choice for everyone else. My thought, is who I am to dictate how other people choose to live their lives.

 

[alldiz]

I am a woman who is pro-choice...

I would like to know if the people who voted AGAINST abortion
have ADOPTED any unwanted children
Kerri