Pro Choice or Not

[Oreo Cookie]

So, it's all right to assume they're not going to become rapists, but it's not all right to assume they are? It's assuming, either way. The difference in my situation and yours is that I know I won't be an abusive parent. But I don't know that Bob and Jane who are adopting my daughter Jilian aren't. Or are. It's just not a risk I'm willing to take!



EDIT.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I'm sorry I posted a reason behind my opinion. It won't happen again.

[/sarcasm]

There are many, many wonderful adoptive parents and I personally know several. I felt your post did a great injustice to the adoption process. Not e everyone is going to agree, just like you don't agree with me regarding adoption.

 

[JennyMominRI]

So, it's all right to assume they're not going to become rapists, but it's not all right to assume they are? It's assuming, either way. The difference in my situation and yours is that I know I won't be an abusive parent. But I don't know that Bob and Jane who are adopting my daughter Jilian aren't. Or are. It's just not a risk I'm willing to take!




[/sarcasm]

I do understand what you are saying..If it were me ,I would spend the rest of my life worrying about my child and how they were being treated. I might even be likely to obsess over it...That said,what percenage of parents are abusive? 10%? That's probably high and I would almost be willing to bet that parents who went out of their way to adopt would be far less likely to be abusive than those who had kid,because it just happened. With an abortion there is a 0% chance your child is going to end up with a loving family..They are not going to end up as *anything* . With adoption there is probably a better than 90% chance they will end up with a loving family

 

[Pigeon]

And, as for adoption...it's not a 'cure' for anything. I'm sorry, but, comparing it to abortion, I would rather see my child/fetus die in the hands of a doctor/medically trained professional than in the hands of a (possible) rapist/murderer/molester/robber/etc.

This actually isn't that uncommon a reaction. Many young women view abortion as preferable to the uncertain outcome of adoption. I'm a mother through adoption, and I'm not in the least offended by it.

While statistics about adoption tend to be hard to come by, it does seem that children are less likely to be abused (Richard Barth is one particular researcher who comes to mind) than children in bio families. Still, one has no control of what happens to the child once one relinquishes rights. While it is true that adoptive parents are screened ad nauseum, still tragedies do occur. Obviously they occur in bio families, but one child being abused by adoptive parents is one too many.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I'm not calling your friend a liar (or even suggesting it). I'm just speaking from my own personal experiences. 13 years of catholic school and mass every sunday and never one do I recall being encouraged to vote for or support a specific candidate.

Really?
Here is the ever popular Raymond Burke, the ArchBishop of St. Louis. The article is primarily about Burke dismissing himself from the board of directors from Cardinal Glennon, over Sheryl Crow performing.

However it points to the fact of voting in part of the article....

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/ne...142D55B1AB195284862572D2006D42EA?OpenDocument

In 2004, barely two weeks into his tenure in St. Louis, Burke made a statement that ricocheted around the world, saying if Sen. John Kerry, then the presumptive Democratic presidential candidate, were to present himself at the Basilica Cathedral

“I would have to admonish him not to present himself for Communion.”

That same year, speaking to St. Louis Catholics, Burke said they would be committing a mortal sin if they voted for a candidate who supports abortion rights. He later clarified his statements by saying a person would have to be voting for an abortion rights candidate because of his or her stance on abortion in order for the sin to be grave.

 

[Ariel Mae]

There are many, many wonderful adoptive parents and I personally know several. I felt your post did a great injustice to the adoption process. Not e everyone is going to agree, just like you don't agree with me regarding adoption.

There are many wonderful adoptive parents...whomever said there weren't? I just said that the risk is not something I would be willing to take.

This actually isn't that uncommon a reaction. Many young women view abortion as preferable to the uncertain outcome of adoption. I'm a mother through adoption, and I'm not in the least offended by it.

It's not like I'm saying, "Don't adopt". I'm just saying I don't think I could do it. See the following statement:

I do understand what you are saying..If it were me ,I would spend the rest of my life worrying about my child and how they were being treated. I might even be likely to obsess over it...

It's just not something I want for myself, or my kid. I don't want to spend my life worrying over the littlest chance...and, yes, the chances are slim to none, but to me, that does not matter. The fact that there are any chances of it worry me. I don't want to get that odd call saying, "Mrs. So and So, your daughter was killed, today...by the adoptive father."
Exactly.

 

[Ariel Mae]

Obviously they occur in bio families, but one child being abused by adoptive parents is one too many.

I highly agree.

 

[JennyMominRI]

It's just not something I want for myself, or my kid. I don't want to spend my life worrying over the littlest chance...and, yes, the chances are slim to none, but to me, that does not matter. .

I'm pretty sure you don't have kids yet..Worry comes with the terratory. You will worry about them every time they walk out the door..Every time they get the sniffles, when they go to work, when they sleep at a friends house, when they walk down the street,when they go on a date..It doesn't end when they are an adult either...For the rest or your life you will worry about those kids and the horrible things that can happen to them.

 

[Pigeon]

I highly agree.

Of course, I also feel that way about children being abused in bio families.

 

[Ariel Mae]

Of course, I also feel that way about children being abused in bio families.

Best way of putting it: One child abuse, period, is one too many.

 

[Ariel Mae]

I'm pretty sure you don't have kids yet..Worry comes with the terratory. You will worry about them every time they walk out the door..Every time they get the sniffles, when they go to work, when they sleep at a friends house, when they walk down the street,when they go on a date..It doesn't end when they are an adult either...For the rest or your life you will worry about those kids and the horrible things that can happen to them.

No, I don't have kids yet. I'm far too young.

But I also know I'd worry more if I didn't know what they were up to in comparison to knowing what they were up to. At least in knowing that they're in my hands, I can handle an iffy situation...but if they're in the hands of another parent, it's not up to me, and all I can do is sit idly by and twiddle my thumbs.

Not. Something. I. Want. To. Do.

And, I'm quite sure my mom didn't ever worry that much over me...there was never anything to worry about, with me, at least. I followed rules, rarely questioned them, did my homework, told her everything...in my 19 years of life, I've only lied to her once, and even then, I came out with it, accepted the punishment...I was always a 'grounds herself' kind of girl. If I did something wrong, I knew it, and accepted it. I honestly don't think it's that hard to raise a child like that, but, then again, I'm no parent, so maybe it is harder than it seems.

 

[JennyMominRI]

Not. Something. I. Want. To. Do.

And, I'm quite sure my mom didn't ever worry that much over me...there was never anything to worry about, with me, at least. I followed rules, rarely questioned them, did my homework, told her everything...in my 19 years of life, I've only lied to her once, and even then, I came out with it, accepted the punishment...I was always a 'grounds herself' kind of girl. If I did something wrong, I knew it, and accepted it. I honestly don't think it's that hard to raise a child like that, but, then again, I'm no parent, so maybe it is harder than it seems.

I'm lucky,I have good kids..I haven't had to worry about them doing things that are really wrong..I'm not worried that they are getting into trouble..I worry about the harm that can come to them from other peoples hands. They can get hit by a car, kidnapped that *nice* neighbor could be a child molester..I'm not saying you will worry that your kids is getting into trouble.. You will worry about the things that can happen to them that are out of their or even your hands..Part of being a parent is realizing thatyou can't be in control all the time..You have to let your kids out the front door,and the world can be a scary place.

 

[Ariel Mae]

Like I said, though. I, personally, would find it harder to worry over not eventually having control vs worrying over having control.

 

[Fitswimmer]

Really?
Here is the ever popular Raymond Burke, the ArchBishop of St. Louis. The article is primarily about Burke dismissing himself from the board of directors from Cardinal Glennon, over Sheryl Crow performing.

However it points to the fact of voting in part of the article....

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/ne...142D55B1AB195284862572D2006D42EA?OpenDocument

It's more than a bit heavy handed, but still hasn't told them to vote for a specific candidate or party. He hasn't invited a Republican candidate to preach at any of his churches-which would be endorsing the candidate or the party.

He interprets the idea of enabling another to commit a sin very strictly. His view is that the voter is directly responsible for helping a woman have an abortion by voting for a candidate that supports abortion. Now, if you follow that logic, there's no way a Catholic could ever vote for a candidate that supports the death penalty, the war in Iraq, euthanasia or for a candidate that does not show a preferential treatment for the poor. I have yet to find such a candidate or a political party that supports ALL of the teachings of the Catholic church. So, I have done the best I can over the years to find a person to vote for that at least hits the majority of them.