Principal calling parents about kids xanga site

[Disney Doll]

It all depends on what the kids wrote. If they just simply complained about the school or the teachers being mean, etc, they're just venting...not a big enough deal for the principal to call the parents. If they are accusing the teachers of doing something inappropriate, that's a different story.

It wasn't an invasion of privacy when the principal read the sites, but The bottom line is that the PARENTS are the ones who should be monitoring these websites. Why aren't they?

Because many parents don't "parent" these days. They are their kids "friends" and they think their kids need privacy etc.

I will tell you that as a pre-teen, my parents made it abundantly clear that I would have as much privacy as they felt I deserved, and if they ever had cause to think I was doing something that would get me into trouble, then privacy would not exist in my life. I was a good kid, never got involved with a bad crowd, or did drugs or anything, so it was never an issue, and I had plenty of privacy, but I always knew the rules.

I always think of Columbine when we get into these privacy discussions. I remember the parent of one of the boys saying something like "well, he was working on something all weekend in the garage(later we found out it was weaponry & explosives) but I never asked him what he was doing". How could your teenage child be working on some project allw eekend, enough for you to notice that they are very busy, and you, as a parent, not go out there and show an interest in what he's doing??? Especially since this same child had a penchant for dressing in all black, including lipstick & nail polish???? The authorities found the barrel of an assault rifle on top of one of the boys' dressers, in plain site, after the tragedy occurred when they were searching their homes!!!!!!!!!!!!! How could a parent miss signs like that???????? I just don't understand.

 

[nliedel]

No it is not an invasion of privacy. It is, imo, not really a good way for a principle to be spending her time. Kids complain about school. I did it, most of you did it and heavens knows my kids do it. If they want to put it in writing for everyone to read that is their choice. No complaining when the object of their irritation reads it and gives them more homework tho. It is a choice with consequences.

If I punished my kids and they wrote that they hated the punishment online for everyone to read then that is their choice. I don't always like what my boys have to say but I repsect their right to say it.

 

[ducklite]

But I think the Principal overstepped by calling the kids parents. Unless he/she read something dangerous......

I agree. Unless there's any type of threat, veiled or not, or material that was slanderous--ie accusing a teacher of illegal or immoral activities--I do'nt think the principal had any business calling parents. If the kids were stating the truth (ie Mrs. "X" gives too much homework, Mrs. "Y"'s car looks like it had bowling balls dropped on it, Mr. "Z"'s toupee is really hideous) chances are the parents have heard this already anyhow.

If I had gotten a call like that, I'd tell the principal that it wasn't being done on school time or property, and it's First Amendment rights, so take a hike. Then I'd probably be calling the school board to complain.

This is not Colombine. This is today's version of passing notes in class. My guess is that a lot of parents already knew about the blogs, have read them, and they are perfectly harmless, except perhaps some teachers and administrators might not like what was said about them.

Anne

 

[stevenpensacola]

From what I've seen of these sites, most are used to talk bad about others. Most kids/teenagers are also bad about putting too much personal info on these sites, as well as some questionable photos. Makes you wonder if they realize that anybody and everybody can "see" what they're posting. Once they post a suggestive photo, there's no telling where it might end up.

 

[Disney Doll]

I hope all these kids learned their lesson and learned how to make their journal entries private. I tried to contract cutesk8er69 to tell her someone has been copying her journal and posting it on a message board and maybe she should lock her journal, but her user name doesn't exist.


If your child leaves their journal or diary on their nightstand table and forgets to lock it, do you read it?

Do you really think cutesk8er69's parents are gonna care if the principal tells them about these journals?

Was everyone you knew as a teenager this perfect child that never did drugs or drank? I didn't, but I'm not everyone.

So these kids may vent about school. So what? Don't most teens?

I think it's nice that these teens have a place to write down their feelings and what it going on in their life. Maybe one of cutesk8er69's friends will recognize she has a problem and help her get some sort of help. Maybe she's just saying that stuff to sound "cool". You don't know.

As an adult, if I read that child's journal entry, I would notify her parents. There is a big difference between posting "I am so mad at my hisotry teacher she's such a jerk" and "I moped around all day, got drunk at 1 in the afternoon etc, etc". If cutesk8er69 isn't smart enough to know that what's she's posting on an Internet message board is public, then she's already in some trouble, because she's pretty stupid.

If I thought I had a reason to read my child's journal, I would. If I were a parent, I would feel that my primary responsibility would be to protect my child from everyone, including themselves. If my child got mad at me, I'd assume he or she would get over it.

Do I think cutesk8ters69's parents will care?? I would hope so. I can only tell you that if I were a parent and my child was writing stuff like that, I'd have her in therapy so fast her head would spin!

Was I perfect as a teenager? No. I did drink, ocacasionally, as a teenager. I did not do drugs. And my perfection or lack thereof has no bearing on the lengths I would go to to protect my child. Would I expect perfection from a child? Obviously not, no one is perfect. Do I understand the fine line parents walk in deciding about every little incident with their kids and what to make an issue of and what not to make an issue of...yes I do. IMHO, cutesk8ter69's posting screams trouble with every word. If I were her parent, it owuld be my responsibility to do what I had to do to help her. And do you honestly believe that it is the repsonsibility of one of her friends to get her help??? For God's sakes, they are kids too!

 

[Disney Doll]

This is not Colombine.

And you know this how????
Remember, everyone who lived in Columbine was shocked when it happened there too.

 

[SillyMe]

I think all parents should monitor what these kids are Im'ing each other..because it is much easier to say nasty things on the internet that in person!

JMHO

Absolutely! I have been doing just that, and yes, without my dd's knowledge. I have learned ALOT about some of her friends, whom I thought were always "good" girls. It's helped me to guide her in the right direction and away from the "wrong" ones.

 

[swilphil]

Not exactly an invasion of privacy, but definitely not worthy of phone calls to all the parents. How much time did the principal spend on reading all the journals and calling the parents? Doesn't he/she have some actual work to do??

 

[pixiedust23]

Not exactly an invasion of privacy, but definitely not worthy of phone calls to all the parents. How much time did the principal spend on reading all the journals and calling the parents? Doesn't he/she have some actual work to do??

Everyone keeps saying he should not be wasting his school time checking up on kids, but the OP never said anything about when he was doing this. Perhaps he was doing it in his free time at home when he has no obligation to be doing any school related work and was just going out of his way to check up on his students. I'm currently in the process of getting my teaching certification and the one pt that is continutally stressed is getting to know your students. This is one way to know what is going on in your stuents lives. Teens like it or not, you post it on the internet with no passwords its not private.

 

[ducklite]

And you know this how????
Remember, everyone who lived in Columbine was shocked when it happened there too.

So every kid who has an online blog has the propensity to shoot up a school?

The kids involved in Colombine gave off a lot of other signals that there were problems.

Anne

 

[Disney Doll]

So every kid who has an online blog has the propensity to shoot up a school?

The kids involved in Colombine gave off a lot of other signals that there were problems.

Anne

No, every kid who has an online blog does not have the propensity to shoot up a school. I don't believe that's what I said, at all. But why is it bad that there is an adult looking at it, to perhaps try and "catch" the ones who may have that propensity, or may have the propensity to shoot themsleves?

The Columbine kids started somewhere, as far as having the ability to "shoot up a school". And obviously, an awful lot of adults missed an awful lot of signals before it got to the point that Columbine reached.

I will agree with you that if it was just the normal pre- or teenage "Mr. Smith is a jerk because he gives too much homework" type postings, then the principal ought to start worrying about other more important stuff. But I also maintain that if I were a principal or teacher in a school, and one of my students was posting things like icesk8ter69 was posting, I'd want to let her parents know. What her parents chose to do or not do based on the information would be their choice, but I would feel as if I had upheld my part of my responsibility to that child by reporting that to her parents.

The OP didn't elaborate on what types of things were written on the journalling site, or what issues the principal was bringing up to the parents when he/she called them. I would like to think that an experienced educator wouldn't be calling because a 12 or 14 year old "hates" their history teacher though. I would like to think that if a 12 or 14 year old hated their history teacher, and wrote that they had followed same history teacher home so now they knew where he lived, and was assembling explosives to blow up history teacher's house, that someone would notice and report it. After all, I am sure icesk8ter69's mother doesn't think she gets drunk at 1PM and I would hope she'd be shocked as to what the "69" in her 14 year old daughter's screen name referred to.

 

[MICKEY88]

If the principal had hacked the site to get at the entries then that would be an invasion of privacy......

if the principal had hacked the site it would be a criminal act...

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I still stress again that not all of the information is out there for us to judge by. That being said, I really think everyone needs to keep in mind the effort it took to make these calls. Genuine concern is there and parents should be thankful for that.

 

[TheBellhop]

I have a xanga, and all I can say is that the lady should get a life. If she has that much time to call up every parent of every person that has a xanga from the school, then shouldn't she put some better use to her time?

 

[phisigprincess]

I think she crossed the line when she called the parents. I would be highly annoyed.

 

[MICKEY88]

I hope all these kids learned their lesson and learned how to make their journal entries private. I tried to contract cutesk8er69 to tell her someone has been copying her journal and posting it on a message board and maybe she should lock her journal, but her user name doesn't exist.


If your child leaves their journal or diary on their nightstand table and forgets to lock it, do you read it?

Do you really think cutesk8er69's parents are gonna care if the principal tells them about these journals?

Was everyone you knew as a teenager this perfect child that never did drugs or drank? I didn't, but I'm not everyone.

So these kids may vent about school. So what? Don't most teens?

I think it's nice that these teens have a place to write down their feelings and what it going on in their life. Maybe one of cutesk8er69's friends will recognize she has a problem and help her get some sort of help. Maybe she's just saying that stuff to sound "cool". You don't know.

if someone did notify her parents it could be the difference between her getting help or getting worse, maybe even comitting suicide, she talks of death and seems to be fixated on Curt Cobain, not good signs...

why would you want to help her hide her pain, and her problems...

 

[pixiedust23]

I think she crossed the line when she called the parents. I would be highly annoyed.

And if I was a teacher and students were not just complaing but saying malicious things about me then I would be more than highly annoyed.

 

[pixiedust23]

I have a xanga, and all I can say is that the lady should get a life. If she has that much time to call up every parent of every person that has a xanga from the school, then shouldn't she put some better use to her time?

If she chooses to spend her free time doing this it is her choice. No one can tell her what to do with her time.

 

[MICKEY88]

I'm amazed at the number of people that think it's ok if the kids were just calling teachers names and such, whatever happened to teaching kids to respect their elders and those in authority positions..??


and in defense of the principal, what if she did nothing, and then one of these kids did pull a Columbine,,

then everyone would want the principal fired for missing the signs and not acting...

 

[nuke]

I'm amazed at the number of people that think it's ok if the kids were just calling teachers names and such, whatever happened to teaching kids to respect their elders and those in authority positions..??

I totally agree with this. I would be so disappointed if I saw that my child was talking about adults or anybody that way. I'm trying to raise my son to have respect for fellow human beings and especially for adults.

I'm no where near that point in my child's life that he would have an on-line journal but when he does I would hope that if he was posting bad things that someone would let me know.