Pregnant women, kids and busses...

[Brier Rose]

Just curious..For those of you that say you would never teach your sons to do certain things, like give up his seat, just because it's a lady, would you ever send them to any type of etiquette class?

Not saying they would need to go or anything, so please don't take it like that!

I'm just asking because that is one of the standard things taught to young boys in these type of classes.

 

[rainy~daze]

i gotta join in this fun!!! whew-eee this is HEAT-ED!!!!!!!!! let me say-I would give up my seat to anyone who has less physical ability than I to stand. if they were older, I would offer. If they were pregnant, I would offer. If they were holding kids, and I at that moment was not, I would offer. If they just looked ready to pass out, I would offer. that said----if you get on a standing room only bus, well, expect to stand. if you cannot physically do so, then wait for the next bus. if you can't stand at the bus stop, you can sit on the ground till the next one comes. or you can call a cab, or you can rent a wheelchair to guarantee you will have a spot on the bus to sit, or you can rent a car, ---point is, you have CHOICES! everyone does, so no one can blame anyone else on that bus for not giving up a seat. If it is that much of a problem then complain to Disney they should have sitting room only on the buses...but that wouldn't really go over well now would it, because then it would take twice the buses and twice the time. People with kids (i have 2 little ones, too) should not expect any kind of special treatment, why??? because 90% of the people at Disney have small kids. First come, first serve. The buses are free...what more do we want folks???? This whole thread is you're rude, no you're rude, no you are, no you are---it is so funny !!! To solve that , next time we are all at Disney if we get on a bus and someone is sitting when we want to or someone is giving us a dirty look for sitting, why don't we swap shoes with that person and walk that mile, or 12, back to our hotels. Cause until we have, nothing is gonna change. PEACE Y'ALL!!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Just curious..For those of you that say you would never teach your sons to do certain things, like give up his seat, just because it's a lady, would you ever send them to any type of etiquette class?

Not saying they would need to go or anything, so please don't take it like that!

I'm just asking because that is one of the standard things taught to young boys in these type of classes.

I agree with GEM and no, I would not send my son to an etiquette class. If I had a daughter, I wouldn't send her either.

 

[Brier Rose]

I agree with GEM and no, I would not send my son to an etiquette class. If I had a daughter, I wouldn't send her either.

Like I said, I was just curious.

It's a big thing around here starting in 6th grade, and IMO is awesome for the kids. On top of learning basic things like phone etiquette, invitations and thank-you notes, etc., they also learn table manners, and ballroom dance.

At the end of each season they get to "practice" at a 5 course dinner, and then they have a huge spring formal where they get to show all the parents what they've learned.

 

[Hannathy]

Nope wouldn't send him if that was the main point. I can teach him to give respect were it is deserved not just for being female. I want him to treat women as equals not "needy" and weak.

 

[Gillian]

It's a big thing around here starting in 6th grade, and IMO is awesome for the kids. On top of learning basic things like phone etiquette, invitations and thank-you notes, etc., they also learn table manners, and ballroom dance.

At the end of each season they get to "practice" at a 5 course dinner, and then they have a huge spring formal where they get to show all the parents what they've learned.

That sounds fun! I have heard about these classes getting popular in some areas (maybe NYC?) and I think it's a great idea. I'd send either/both of my kids if they wanted to go and it was a social thing.

I'm tired of writing their thank you notes, LOL! DS should finally be old enough to do his own next birthday.

 

[Brier Rose]

Nope wouldn't send him if that was the main point. I can teach him to give respect were it is deserved not just for being female. I want him to treat women as equals not "needy" and weak.

That's not the main point, but it is part of it.

And they're not teaching them to view ladies as needy and weak, they're teaching them that they are to be cherished and respected. That they are special!

Personally I love a man (like my DH) that wants to "take care" of a lady.

Offers his coat when a lady is cold, rises when she enters and leaves the room, opens the door, and yes, gives up his seat..not just to a lady,but to anyone who needs it!

Doesn't raise his voice or curse in a ladies presence, and offers his arm if needed.

Is always ready to offer his assistance if need be, and yes there are women out there that still need a man.
My DH has carried packages, gotten down things that were too high up on a store shelf, and offered his umbrella, all to complete strangers.

Thankfully he never got an angry reaction!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Like I said, I was just curious.

It's a big thing around here starting in 6th grade, and IMO is awesome for the kids. On top of learning basic things like phone etiquette, invitations and thank-you notes, etc., they also learn table manners, and ballroom dance.

At the end of each season they get to "practice" at a 5 course dinner, and then they have a huge spring formal where they get to show all the parents what they've learned.

Other than ballroom dancing, I don't understand why a parent would pay someone to teach their child these things.

 

[Brier Rose]

Other than ballroom dancing, I don't understand why a parent would pay someone to teach their child these things.

Well it's suppose to be fun!

My DD enjoys it anyway. They get to get all dressed up every week..the girls wear dresses and white gloves, the boys wear jacket and tie.

They get to practice with each other, and what it comes down to is around here it's just tradition!

To be quite honest, some of the things I didn't know!

Most other things, sure I could teach at home, but it wouldn't be as much fun, AND I don't know that they would get the same experience.

For instance, when they were learning about International Cuisine, (some of the table settings are a little different),like I said they got to have their practice dinner.

Well, each table of kids at the party had a host to help them if they needed. The host at my DD's table was a Dr. from France that she really enjoyed talking with.

 

[taximomfor4]

While I wouldn't look for door holding as the only quality--a man who just doesn't do that at all...could be a red flag to his character.

.

I think it might only be a red flag as to his habits, or what he was taught to do or not do. That doesn't skim the surface of character. In my upbringing, we were mostly ignored. My siblings and I have learned our manners from observing our friends, and through trial and error. I lucked out the most, my friend's family let me pretty much live with them in the summers and I learned wonderful manners. My brother had no such friends. He does not hold doors open for women, but is an upstanding family man, devoted and determined to provide. (Currently in the Marine Corps). Anyway, continue with the regularly scheduled debate. It's great that I currently have time to do lots of reading, I am enjoying all the different viewpoints.

 

[taximomfor4]

Just curious..For those of you that say you would never teach your sons to do certain things, like give up his seat, just because it's a lady, would you ever send them to any type of etiquette class?

Not saying they would need to go or anything, so please don't take it like that!

I'm just asking because that is one of the standard things taught to young boys in these type of classes.

No, I would not. My son is being taught consideration, but it is according to our own definition. He holds doors for everyone. DH says that he'll tell him how nice it is to open the car door for your special someone, though.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I am curious what is so wrong with teaching proper etiquette (i.e. via a class).

I can understand not wanting to spend the extra money.

Is it just that or is there a strict opposition to the idea?

 

[taximomfor4]

I am curious what is so wrong with teaching proper etiquette (i.e. via a class).

I can understand not wanting to spend the extra money.

Is it just that or is there a strict opposition to the idea?

You mean me? I am not opposed to the idea at all, it is just not something we are terribly interested in. I suppose if one of my kids came to me with the idea, and wanted that as their season's activity (they each only get ONE activity per season), I would look into it. But I don't know anyone who has done it, and to us, manners are pretty common sense and less formal stuff. I have lived in other countries with families there, and learned some of their basic table manners, etc. I tell my kids about it. Other than that, we teach our kids manners and the Golden Rule.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I am curious what is so wrong with teaching proper etiquette (i.e. via a class).

I can understand not wanting to spend the extra money.

Is it just that or is there a strict opposition to the idea?

I don't think there's anything WRONG with teaching proper etiquette.

I just don't see the need to pay someone to do something that I'm able and willing to do myself.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

That makes sense.

I have a friend who teaches etiquette. Honestly I want to take her class myself. She is very well-mannered and I am not. I'm not flat out rude--but she just knows some proper things that I don't know and would love to know. Hope that makes sense.

 

[Evil Queen]

I thought of this thread today at Target, while shopping for a birthday present for DS10's best friend.

Not only did he open the door for me, he continued to hold it for, what appeared to be a very abled middle aged man walking out behind me.

I guess I did something right......

 

[Improv_Scarf]

On the bus at Disney it's ALWAYS packed when I go. Of course, my mom and I are the ones you see running for the bus right before they close the doors. Since I was a little kid (I'm 15 now) I was always surprised when very nice elderly people ask me to take their seat when I'm standing up. I turn them down politely of course. They need the seat more than I do, I don't mind standin'. Then when there's the rare chance we get on when there's empty seats, I'd happily give up my seat for people like, the moms carrying two kids in their arms, the elderly, etc. But, anyone else have the rude experience where a perfectly healthy 20-30 single adult asks a kid (like me) or an elderly person to give up their seat for them? I always turn them down. Sure they're tired, but come on! Then again, they might have some health problem, but they could ask politely...

Sorry for the long post

 

[mama4]

I thought of this thread today at Target, while shopping for a birthday present for DS10's best friend.

Not only did he open the door for me, he continued to hold it for, what appeared to be a very abled middle aged man walking out behind me.

I guess I did something right......

Had a similar experience at the mall yesterday. DS-15 held the door for a family (dad, mom and baby in a stroller) that was coming in as we were on the way out. I stood back and watched him thinking "what a nice kid". Then the dad surprised us by insisting we go first (I was pushing a stroller and standing behind ds-15) It was a little funny/awkward for a moment but we finally ended up going first with everyone smiling and saying thank you to each other the whole time

 

[shaylahc1]

I have noticed being on vacation seems to bring out the selfishness/sense of entitlement in people. Some of the rudest behavior I have ever seen has been at theme parks/vacation destintations. I have traveled to Disney with young babies 3 times and never once did anyone offer me a seat while I was standing with a baby in a sling or in my arms on the bus. I sincerely doubt every single passenger on the bus was disabled or in poor health The most memorable time was when we traveled with our 4 kids, including a 2 month old baby we carried around in a sling, and I remember on more than one occasion standing on a long bus ride and commenting to DH how rude it was that so many young and obviously healthy looking people didn't offer up a seat to any of our very small children (toddler/preschool age) or myself who had a tiny baby in my arms. In fact, every time a seat would open up some young adult (usually male) would rush to take the seat I hate to say it, but people nowadays are just selfish and rude

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Hello evryone Shellebelle's atttude-lippy teenager here
Mom wouldn't let me write what I wanted to say back to AllyCatTapia I'm laughing because mom would not take any crap from me even if I tried it .
Believe you me my job is to slave for the women (appreciative or not) at my home whether they be mom, sisters, grandmas, aunts, cousins, or complete strangers. I expect that it will only get harder when I have my own wife and kids. I'm just trying to help people who might need it and that's not just women. I am proud of my family that they teach me good manners and how to help others (even if it is a pain) and I plan to teach my kids the same.

Oh, and AllyCatTapia I would still hold the door for you anyway.

GO YOU! I am a feminist and I'd be glad to have you hold a door for me, anytime! My little boy will also be taught to hold the door for others and have manners. Since when is being polite a crime? Shame on those "feminists" who would rather vilify teenagers and smack their children than accept a common courtesy with grace. Does she complain in other circumstances where people are nice to her? Free dessert at a restaurant? "How DARE you?!?!?! I am perfectly capable of purchasing my own dessert!!!!"