Pregnancy complications- water breaking early

[Nik's Mom]

I'm so sorry to hear this. I really like the suggestions that SleepyMom gave. Something more permanent to remember the baby sounds more meaningful. I'm sure your friend will really appreciate it. Will there be a funeral? You can always give flowers for the funeral and give your friend a more personal momento later on. I'm sure they are heart-broken right now.

 

[debbi801]

I am so sorry for her loss.

 

[MeMom]

We have been exactly where your friend is, we recieved plants and flowers and I found it very hard to throw them away after a few weeks. The plants stressed me out because I felt I had to keep them alive to honor him. A friend got me a Precious Moments figurine of a baby boy and I still have it displayed to honor him. Another friend got me a small plaque with a poem on the front, on the back she had his name and birthdate engraved, that means the world to me to this day. Those are the things I treasure years later and help me feel close to him.

for your friend.

Prayers going out for your friend and her family. This news hurts us all and brings tears to those of us who did not even know them, so we know how much more you and those who know them are hurting.
It seems like a Precious Moments figurine would be a very nice remembrance of the precious moments spent with her baby.

 

[disney1990]

I would suggest a flowering plant - like a Gerber Daisy for your friend. Something that she can keep.

Having lost 3, before I finally had my daughter, I know what she is going through. I am so sorry for her loss.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

Oh so sorry to hear this. Heartbreaking. My prayers go out to her and her husband.

 

[redshoes]

Thank you again- I can't it enough. As of right now, my friend has gone back into surgery. Her husband and her will discuss whether to have a memorial service or not when she is in less pain and they are able to talk. They have not decided what to name the little boy or if even if they will be giving him a name.
As an outsider, I would think that one of the most difficult things would be the what would have beens. The what would he have been like at two, or what would he have done at 6 and so on.
I have decided to search for something more personal than flowers, something that she can have and either display when she is ready or at least have somewhere tucked away to remember him by.

 

[krcit]

A friend of mine lost her son at 4 months old. It was devastating. I found a bracelet on line that had the babys birthstone. I'm going to try to find the website and I'll let you know.

 

[krcit]

Ok, I found the website-myforeverchild My friend loved it. Again, I'm so sorry for your friends loss.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Thank you again- I can' t it say enough. As of right now, my friend has gone back into surgery. Her husband and her will discuss whether to have a memorial service or not when she is in less pain and they are able to talk. They have not decided what to name the little boy or if even if they will be giving him a name.
As an outsider, I would think that one of the most difficult things would be the what would have beens. The what would he have been like at two, or what would he have done at 6 and so on.
I have decided to search for something more personal than flowers, something that she can have and either display when she is ready or at least have somewhere tucked away to remember him by.

Just hugs again to your friend... I have thought about this all night and it has torn me up... I stare at my new little girl and can't imagine what they are going through.... I do hope they name him, they will feel better as time goes on...

I dont know I'll get back to this thread, its really rough

 

[bengalbelle]

I am so sorry.

 

[kellyg403]

I just saw your update..many hugs and prayers to your friend as she goes through this. I lost my dd Kayla under the same circumstances and understand how lost she feels right now.

I agree, I got a lot of flowers and plants and it was difficult because I too felt I needed to keep them alive in her memory. I am not a green thumb and it devistated me as they died one by one. I lost Kayla on March 29 and Easter that year was April 2, we buried her the next day. My sister gave me three Easter Lillies that I eventually planted and have carried the bulbs with me. They are now planted in my yard in a different state but bloom every year. Now, I get an Easter Lilly every year for my yard and one to send to her gravesite on her birthday. It has helped to have something associated with her that I can watch grow each year.

I also want to mention any help you can give with dinners and babysitting will be greatly appreciated I am sure. I had 4 children at home, one just under a year when all this happened for me. I had a wonderful group of friends that brought dinners and paper plates and took the kids for awhile just so I could rest. Sleep was the hardest thing for me to do at the time, seemed like I would lay there all night just thinking of the 'what ifs' and then just drag. I barely could take care of myself, let alone the house, husband and kids.

There are several support groups out there, encourage your friend to seek one out when she is ready. One of my best friends in the world is someone I met through the group I attended. She is the person that calls to talk to me on Kayla's birthday that is not afraid to say her name or let me talk about what I think she would look like today or would she be a normal teenager etc. and I can do the same for her. Lots of people think bringing up their name is painful, and sometimes it is, but most of the time it is wonderful to know someone acknowledges her existance even though she was only here on this earth with me for 13 of the best hours of my life. Eventually, people forget or don't want to remind you. For me, she is my dd, I love her and will never forget her. Having at least one friend I can talk to about her with out feeling self conscience was a blessing God gave me. So, I hope that she can find someone eventually. I would also recommend that you find out/learn about the grief process as well. Sometimes she will be angry, not at you, but at the situation. Letting her be angry/sad/happy/ is the best thing you can do for her!

I will continue to pray for your friend and her family as well as you. I don't wish the road on anyone, as it is long and hard. Losing a child is the worst thing to go through. God Bless.

Kelly