Prayers for my dad please (update on post #5)

[live4christp1]

I feel so badly for my dad. I think this whole saga is about to get the best of him. Yesterday he looked so upset and beat, I thought he was going to start crying when we were discussing this. Here's a link to a little of the story.....http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=933781 - I posted this a while back.

Yesterday he got a copy of a letter that was sent to his lawyer from another one of the cousins who moved away to California many years (30+) ago. Asking for his part of the money. Telling all kinds of lies like "he had first hand knowledge that my dad cut timber off the property and sold it" #1 - how could he have first hand knowledge of this, he's in California. #2 - I'm 35 and during my 35 years my dad has never sold timber, he's always worked hard......he did cut timber but that was used in the wood heater that they used to heat the house. He chopped wood for my grandma & grandpa and for our family.

I tried to make him feel better by telling him not to worry about it because that letter was just proof that those people were exactly what he had said, only ever come around and have any interest in the land to stick out their hand when they thought they might get a little money. This man has not retained a lawyer to enter into the legalities, he just sent a hand written note to dad's lawyer and the other parties lawyer saying that he wanted his share of the money.

It is so hard to watch my dad go through this and not know what to do. I couldn't sleep at all last night. Thought about writing a letter of rebuttal in reply and sending it to both parties, admonishing my dad's character etc. But I'm not sure if this would be a good idea. My dad is a kind and gentle man, honest and hard working. When we were growing up, if we did something wrong, he would rather we tell him than to tell a lie to cover it up. One of the most honorable men I know. We didn't have a lot when I was growing up in ways of fancy cars or name brand clothes, but I never once worried if there would be food for our dinner or a roof over our heads and what these people are saying about him is very hurtful to him. Wonder if we could file a complaint against them for defamation of character, slander (they had wrote up in part of the papers that my sister (my dad's daughter) was his step daughter, and personal injury - personal injury as I think the heart attack he had with subsequent pacemaker placement was due to the stress and upset for all this.

Please parents - for the sake of your children, make a will, don't ever will anything to "heirs".

 

[live4christp1]

The following is from the 1920 Census (these are my grandparents, (my dad's parents)) They were newlyweds and were raising 4 of grandmas younger brothers. The lady who started all this is a descendant of John, one of grandmas' brothers.


Part of 3rd District 13 January 1920 ED# 69 Sheet #3 Enumerator: Robert C. Castleman
Family # 51-51
Sanders , Burton R Head M W 23 M
Azee Wife F W 19 M
Hicks, Claude M W 17 S
Hicks, John M W 15 S
Hicks, Hartford (?) M W 10 S
Hicks, Cris M W 9 S
Claude, John, Hartford, and Cris were listed as brothers in law to head of household, Burton Sanders.

 

[escape]

for you and your dad.

Let your lawyers handle this. I doubt writing a letter would do you any good at this point.

I agree with your advice about putting all of this in a will. That's usually the ONLY way property will be divided in the manner you want it to be. If my dad had not put his intentions in a will, there would have been some major battles in my family.

I hope this story has a satisfactory ending for your dad. Keep us posted.

 

[kimwim8]

 

[live4christp1]

Well, after almost 2 years of legalalities my dad's part in all this mess is finally over. He got 3 acres and the house. He has to pay the taxes for last year and this year, pay to have his 3 acres surveyed off, plus lawyer fees, etc. My parents (70's) had to take out a mortgage against their home when this all started to retain the lawyer, etc. The rest of it is still tied up in court and eventually will be sold with the monies divided between the remaining heirs (about 90 of them). Dad was satisfied and just glad to have it all over.

I can't say this enough, please, please, please make out a will and do it in detail, don't ever leave anything listed as going TO HEIRS. Your poor loved ones could pay on the taxes and upkeep for 100 years and down the line a descendent comes along and decides they won't their share and there is nothing your loved ones can do about it.....the laws will not protect them. All the taxes my dad and his parents payed on this place, the lawyers said that it is considered "Paid in the interest of the heirs".

 

[kmp1191]

I'm glad it's finally over for you & your dad.

Honestly, how much will each of the 90+ heirs get? Will it be enough to make this headache worth their while?
I know when my grandfather passed away, each of the children, except my dad, were given a piece of property in the will. My dad had to pay for his.....his that he had been living on, paying rent on, paying taxex on, and paying upkeep on for 30+ years....big blowout!! well, let's just say, he and mom paid for it and now NO ONE, NOT ONE OF THE STINKING RELATIVES can take it away from us!!

again, i'm glad it's over for you and your dad....he needs a vacation....take him to WDW!!!

 

[live4christp1]

I'm glad it's finally over for you & your dad.

Honestly, how much will each of the 90+ heirs get? Will it be enough to make this headache worth their while?
I know when my grandfather passed away, each of the children, except my dad, were given a piece of property in the will. My dad had to pay for his.....his that he had been living on, paying rent on, paying taxex on, and paying upkeep on for 30+ years....big blowout!! well, let's just say, he and mom paid for it and now NO ONE, NOT ONE OF THE STINKING RELATIVES can take it away from us!!

again, i'm glad it's over for you and your dad....he needs a vacation....take him to WDW!!!

That is what dad's attorney said, that he has seen these things drag on and on and when it finally comes to the property being sold and monies distributed each family might get $100. Overall I think dad got the better end of the deal, it just stinks that somebody could come in and force that. This is property that had been in our family for over 100 years, hunted, farmed, hiked, etc.

 

[kmp1191]

I'm sorry you & your dad had to go through all of that....greedy relatives are the worst kind....and I have a bunch of them! Sorry, but I hope they end up with nothing after all the legal expenses and everything....serves them right.
I'm glad it's behind you, and I agree, your dad did get the better of the deal.

 

[minniecarousel]

Sorry I missed your other posts about this - so glad that it's finally over for your Dad. Great lessons to be learned though.