potty training help please!

[tiggger1]

my daughter who will be 4 in June has been almost potty trained (pee)for over a year. When we drove to Disney last April for 14 days, she was dry the entire time except for 2 accidents which were both my fault because I forgot to take her before we got on the bus and she couldnt hold it.. she was great for most of the summer only having an accident every 1 or 2 days..until Sept and then she refused to go on the toilet at all. We took her to the peds thinking it might be a UTI but it wasnt and the ped said she just wasnt ready. I think she was wrong because Emma has been dry almost every night for over a year, so I know she can hold it and will go if she wants to.. but we did what the ped suggested and just let her tell us when she is ready...
She is doing great and hasnt had any accidents at all in over a month and a half. My problem is that she wont poop on the potty at all.. She has a few times before and we had made a big deal about it but it did no good...I finally got upset last week and told her I wasnt changing her anymore, she was old enough to clean up after herself. She refuses to wear undies because she is afraid she will have an accident and the last time she did was when she was in undies..and she cried for over an hour.. the last 3 days every time she poops, she goes into the bathroom and changes her pull up and cleans herself.. she is almost proud of herself, so my plan backfired! I thought making her clean up after herself would make her think twice about going in her pants but thats not the case...hubby made her wear undies yesterday and she didnt have any accidents but when I went to put her to bed I noticed that she had a pull up on. I have no idea when she did that...
I have also used the "no school" thing and she really wants to go to school but still continues to poop in her pants...
any ideas...

 

[freckles and boo]

Bribe her and don't be ashamed to do it. My older daughter was exactly the same way. It wasn't until right after she turned four that she would poop in the toilet consistently. Apparently it is very, very common and nothing to worry about. We just did a "Poop Chart". For every five poops in the potty she got a Thomas the Tank Engine DVD. At the time she was obsessed with Thomas so we bought the DVDs in three-packs from Sam's Club and put them within sight in the bathroom. My younger daughter is autistic but was easier to potty train than her sister! We bribed her with trips to Chuck E. Cheeses for every five poops. That worked out to going once a week and we just bought tokens (not pizza) so it wasn't that expensive. We also made a huge deal of it every time they pooped in the toilet (cheering, calling grandma, high-fives). It sounds silly but it worked. After about four weeks or so the rewards just tapered off and they did it because they were "big girls". I don't think the hardline is the way to go with potty-training, although I know that some folks disagree.

 

[jillyjoey]

I feel for you. My DD was the SAME EXACT WAY!!! (at the same age too). She would not wear panties at all -- she had to have that pull up. Nothing worked -- NOTHING. Until one day, she sat down at the kitchen table and the tv was on. Spiderman (Tobey Maguire) came on. She looked at me and said "I love him... I want spiderman to kiss me" Not missing a beat, I turned to her and replied, "Spiderman only kisses girls who wear panties." Right then and there -- no more pullups.

She was ready the whole time- it just had to be on her terms. Your DD may be the same. Good Luck -- I know it is frustrating. (My son was a whole lot easier than DD).

 

[sugarpie]

My 3 1/2 year old just got the pooping down. She occasionally would go on the toilet, but preferred to go in her underwear.

What finally did it was I bought 'poopy candy' and every time she went on the toilet I'd let her have some. She's been accident free for about a month now. She literally just walked up to me and said she went on the toilet. Gotta go get her some 'poopy candy'.

 

[tiggger1]

we did the bribe thing, we promised her a american girl twin jogging stroller when she was out of diapers... she really wants it but told daddy she doesnt want it that bad.. She pooped about a month ago at my neighbors house and my neighbor and myself made a huge deal out of it and she got the Ponyville house that she wanted... she hasnt pooped on the potty since. She despretely wants a bratz doll or a baby alive and I told her if she poops on the potty ill get it for her... I even tried bribing her with a pony telling her she can only get a pony when she is a big girl and she was so excited and then then next time she asks for one I reminded her and her answer is either Oh well, or who cares...

 

[freckles and boo]

we did the bribe thing, we promised her a american girl twin jogging stroller when she was out of diapers... she really wants it but told daddy she doesnt want it that bad.. She pooped about a month ago at my neighbors house and my neighbor and myself made a huge deal out of it and she got the Ponyville house that she wanted... she hasnt pooped on the potty since. She despretely wants a bratz doll or a baby alive and I told her if she poops on the potty ill get it for her... I even tried bribing her with a pony telling her she can only get a pony when she is a big girl and she was so excited and then then next time she asks for one I reminded her and her answer is either Oh well, or who cares...

Try smaller, more immediate rewards that she can see (actually put them in the bathroom out of reach) and that won't break the bank!!! Geez, I think my kids would sell their little souls for a pony!

ETA The great thing about the chart also is that it is immediate and visible. Buy some stickers she really likes and then she can use them on the chart.

 

[tiggger1]

We have 2 ponies already ( and she is going to get her own anyways! but she doesnt know that) so it isnt like were really are bribing her

 

[sugarpie]

we did the bribe thing, we promised her a american girl twin jogging stroller when she was out of diapers... she really wants it but told daddy she doesnt want it that bad.. She pooped about a month ago at my neighbors house and my neighbor and myself made a huge deal out of it and she got the Ponyville house that she wanted... she hasnt pooped on the potty since. She despretely wants a bratz doll or a baby alive and I told her if she poops on the potty ill get it for her... I even tried bribing her with a pony telling her she can only get a pony when she is a big girl and she was so excited and then then next time she asks for one I reminded her and her answer is either Oh well, or who cares...

Actually, the bribing didn't work right away for us either. I told her as soon as she pooped on the potty (for the first time) I would give her the Mickey Mouse pirate ship we bought at WDW in October. She pooped on the potty for the first time on Thanksgiving Day. I gave her the pirate ship. She refused to poop on the potty for about a month, and after that it was hit or miss.

Until the 'poopy candy'. I think she was just ready.

 

[freckles and boo]

Until the 'poopy candy'.

Please tell me the poopy candy isn't Tootsie Rolls!

 

[sugarpie]

Please tell me the poopy candy isn't Tootsie Rolls!

It's a combination of Hershey's Kisses and Andes Mints. I keep them in the freezer. She takes 1 of each.


They're almost gone, and I don't think I'm going to buy any more. I think she has it down.

 

[wdwdancerwannabe]

I thought my DD (now 6) would NEVER go poop on the potty.

My trick was the bath tub. .... NO!!! Not that!!!

The warm water DOES make the bowels move, though. As soon as I thought she was beginning to go, I would pick her up and put her on the toilet --- then she would go...then we would have a party.

Also --- make her verbalize where her poop goes. in other words - ask her - "Where does your poop go?" (in the toilet) --- "poop doesn't go in pants/underwear/pullups"

 

[tiggger1]

The one thing that I have going for me is that she complains about having a belly ache right before she needs to poop but she refuses to sit on the potty long enough to go. I am thinking I might buy her a handheld game to play just on the potty. They have a new toddler handheld game!

 

[thebrain]

I see you have a baby in the house. It's not surprising that the pooping is an issue. We went through this too. I bribed, cajoled and cried myself, but a discussion with the pediatrician is really what worked. He told us (parents) that having a baby in the house would cause regression and that taking the focus off of pooping would win out ... eventually. It's been a long process, complete with awarding matchbox cars for every successful poop on the potty, but our DS is FINALLY there.

Don't beat yourself up about it. It will come.

 

[LisaNJ25]

My 2 1/2 yo wont poop either. We have been bribing her with a barbie. Last week she pooped by mistake lol... She had the runs and I don't think she was really trying.. it just happened. So she asked for her babie right away and she got one. She hasn't pooped on the potty since. She is great staying dry during the day and wears underwear and using the big potty. She has never worn pull ups. But at night she still wears a diaper. So what she does is when we put the diaper on her to go to bed thats when she poops.

 

[TammyAlphabet]

I had the same problem with my daughter. One day, while she was in the tub, I once again asked her why she didn't want to use the potty, and she said that she wouldn't be my baby anymore! I was flabbergasted! I told her that was silly because she would ALWAYS be my baby. It was a breeze after that.

 

[jessica52877]

I am for the take something away every time there is an accident and I don't mean 1 doll. i mean ALL dolls, clothes, strollers, etc that are related to dolls. Next time something else. I am for this approach only when they are quite old enough to understand, which your daughter seems to be.

I also would toss the pull ups. IMO pullups do not help at all! How hard is it to pull it off and wipe your bottom, not too hard. Now think about the underwear aspect (make sure they are pretty) so they look quite bad once having an accident, having her rinse it, changing clothes. Make it much more effort.

Both of these are my opinions only and require alot of time and effort from mom and dad but I think pay off! Good luck whatever you choose!

 

[grlpwrd]

I think it could very well be associated with the fact she has a baby brother in her life.

I think it best to accentuate the positive - about her being your big girl, doing big girl things together, etc. Perhaps she doesn't want those things - she just wants time and attention from you, kwim?

We have 5 kiddos so I can relate...


GL!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

I have to agree with the baby aspect! my little DD was going just fine on the potty ever so slowly and then baby brother entered the picture and now 1yr later and only every great once in awhile will she tell me she has to go

 

[mulanrouge]

My DS was exactly like that too!! Potty trained for pee for over a year, but just couldn't get him to poop on the potty. We had tried everything, bribery, potty party - EVERYTHING!! Finally one day, I took him to our bathroom (ensuite) and let him go potty while I sat on our bed in the bedroom. BanG!! He did it on his own. Maybe it was a privacy thing? I am not sure, but it seemed like when I left him to do his thing, that is when he chose to make poopie!! So, I am not sure if you go in the bathroom with her, but maybe it is a privacy thing for her?

 

[Mulan'sMom]

She was almost four, and could remain dry and poop-less all day if needed, but she flatly refused to use the potty. She's run around in her underwear, then change into a Pull Up to do her business, then put her underwear back on. Cajoling didnt work, neither did bribery or threats. Finally, my SIL got several pair of rubber pants - the sort you use over cloth diapers. She cut the crotch out, and put them on my niece instead of cloth panties. When it came time to use the potty, she'd sit my niece on the toilet and let her pee through the hole in the crotch. As my niece got used to peeing through the ventilated rubber pants, my SIL enlarged the hole to allow her to poop through the now-bottomless panties as well. Finally, after a few weeks, so much of the rubber pants were cut away that my niece was running around in something that resembled the plastic loops that hold six-packs together - but she was using the potty! Finally, she gave up the shreds of her rubber pants and switched over to cloth undies and full use of the potty. American ingenuity at work!