We Gotz A Yeti To Find
Today we have to be at the AK opening. Gotta check out the new Expedition Everest. The alarm clock goes off at 6:30am, again I just smash it till it stops. The WDW resort alarm clocks are some of the most complicated pieces of machinery I have ever encountered. Also I received a call from Mickey, with a very rude Stitch interrupting. I cannot wake up pleasantly with Stitch screaming something into my ear. I go over to the sink where I keep my home brought 4 cup cup of ambition maker, and wait
and wait
and wait!
SIDENOTE: At home I have a Timer activated coffee machine. So when I get up the coffee is already brewed. IMO this is the greatest invention of the 20th Century!!!!
Finally there is enough coffee in the pot, and I pour myself a cup, grab my smokes leave sleeping beauty and head out to my Patio at the POP!
As I sit poolside on MY PATIO, I review what we are going to do today. Luckily no one is trying to kill me today. I cant wait to check out EE! I heard so many great things about it. Maybe this new attraction will improve my thoughts about AK. You see, I just never got too excited about AK
. I really can never put my finger on why I am not crazy about AK. The whole Itsnhatazoo campaign always irked me.
Yes, Disney marketing peeps, AK is defiantly a Zoo! I do like the Safari, Dinosaur and the Lion King show
.but thats about it! Everything else I can take or leave.
SIDENOTE: Sorry I really dont mean to offend any AK lovers!
So once James gets up eats breakfast, and we are all ready to go, we head towards the POP Bus stop and make our way to AK. Again, we wait no more the 5 minutes. The POP buses are REALLY THAT GOOD!
We arrive at AK, just a few minutes after the opening. So if anything special happens when AK opens, I dunno about it. Like EVERYONE ELSE entering the park.
EVERYONE is headed for EE. Which for those of you who havent been there yet
is located at the farthest corner of the park. As we walked to EE, I realized one of the reasons I am not crazy about AK. Wherever you are at AK, you cant see very far. Its not like The other parks where it seems all open, to me AK is very confined, almost claustrophobic. And I AM ALWAYS getting lost in AK. Not like the way I keep loosing POC at MK, but lost as in I keep walking in circles. No matter where I am going I always wind up near the McDonalds in AK, over and over and over again. So after passing McDonalds three times we finally find EE.
Whew! EE is a mighty impressive sight!
So now being the good Disers we are, first and foremost we get FPs! Ok, we search the joint out and find the FP machines. The FPs are for 12:30pm, and it is now 8:50am. Thats some wait. UGH! We cant wait THAT LONG! The line, for the regular tourist is a 2-hour wait! James just looks at me with that we can wait 2 hours look, and I shoot back that are you out of your flippen mind look! So while we are standing there giving each other crazy looks, I look away and notice at the extreme left of the entrance there is a sign that says SINGLE RIDERS. I tell James to go find out what the wait is for single riders.
James comes running back saying there is NO WAIT for Single riders! We can go right on!
Get OUT. You LIE! I answered in disbelief
No really the lady said NO WAIT he was way too excited.
Lets Go!
So we went on the single riders line, and walked right into the loading area. James sat all the way in the back, and I sat all the way up front.
And off we went! WOW what a cool ride. I really liked it! We found the Yeti!
They only bad thing about the single riders line is that you dont get to see the que area, which I read on the boards is really cool. When we come back I will check that out.
After the ride was over, I met up with James and we compared notes. Yup, we both gave it 2 thumbs up each.
So now it was time to go on a safari. After passing McDonalds twice more we wound up in Africa. The safari ride had a 1 ½ hour wait for the regular people, and we still had ½ hour until we could get another FP. This is another thing that I dont like about AK; the FPs have a much longer time between them, and a longer wait to get new ones, then the other parks. So for the ½ hour we walk around the shops, I go to the smoking section over near the bridge. Then once the time came, I went & procured FPs for the safari. These were for 11:30am, it is now 10:00AM. So off we go to take the Wildlife Express Train to Rafikis Planet Watch.
I mostly like RPW, since it is indoors and Air Conditioned. As heavily reported on the DisBoards, and as everyone who goes to AK in the summer months
IT IS SO FLIPPEN UNBEARABLY HOT in AK. I swear it was 211 degrees that day!
We take the express train
(It is express, no stops just like the IRT #1 train in NYC) over to RPW. I like this train ride except when you start seeing the employee parking lots and the buildings WDW uses for various animal type stuff. It sort of ruins the whole I am in Africa thing for me, and surprisingly very un-Disney like. We arrive at RPW, and on the way to the actual building, there is a path, along this path there are activities for kids to do and get a book stamped for each activity. This is all well for little kids. But James decides he wanted to do each activity and get the book stamped (remember he collects booklets). Also remember he is 12, and a bit old for these Kid Stops! They are really geared for the under 8 crowd. But Hey! We are in Disney! Needless to say, the first stop each kid gets a list of 8 common bugs/animals that can be found in a ordinary garden. These items are hidden in a fake garden, and I mean HIDDEN! This is Disney just being MEAN! One of the spiders that KIDS must find was about 12 feet up in the air behind a post. Yet James INSISTED he wanted to find them all, WITH NO HELP! So I waited patiently for about 25 minutes, in the crowded heat, watching 100s of people come & go, waiting, waiting and waiting. He had one frog to find!!! Finally I found it, showed him
and he was peeved!
Get over it! I am melting in tedium hell here! So now that we wasted so much time there, we had a limited amount of time to spend in RPW.
SIDENOTE: I HATE SNAKES. SNAKES FREAK ME OUT. I DONT LIKE LOOKING AT SNAKES, I DONT LIKE TOUCHING SNAKES, I DONT LIKE TO SEE ANYBODY ELSE TOUCHING A SNAKE. Anything snake related literally makes my skin crawl.
Now I did not know this until about 10 years ago. Up until that time I have never ever seen a snake (well a real one anyway). We have many slimy slithering things in NYC, but NO SNAKES.
About 10 years ago, about 2 miles away from where I lived in the country, there was a new housing community being built. Where I live on top of a mountain, it is very rare for anyone to have basements. It is pretty much solid bedrock up here. So in order to build houses with basements, much dynamite is needed. MUCH DYNAMITE!
One day I was home, and noticed outside my front door, my neighbor Kitty (note that name
since her daughter makes a guest starring appearance in this Trip report later on
and its a doozy of a story people) was standing in front of her shrubs. I called out hello from my front door, inquiring what she was looking for.
This could have been ANYTHING. I have seen Kitty thrown her husbands clothes out the window on many, many occasions.
Kitty told me that she saw a snake in the bush.
I replied, Get out! Ive never seen a snake around With that I saw a snake standing straight up from another of the bushes about 5 feet from where Kitty was standing.
There it is I yelled over there and I pointed.
OH NO THERE ARE TWO she screamed, and at the point one popped out from where she was standing!
Next to our houses there is a slope of about 6 feet high that leads to woods. As soon as Kitty yelled
.HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of very long very big snakes came slithering over the slope racing with the speed of air hockey pucks on a air hockey board.
They were in packs, streaming at about 50 miles an hour past our houses, and many of them bumping into and brushing against Kittys legs and they shot by. She stood there in frozen shock. I stood at my door saying very un Disney words. This whole episode latest about 45 seconds; however it seemed like hours of a very, very bad dream. I couldnt move. Kitty couldnt move nor speak!
Once they were gone, Kitty just stood there and asked me if I had coffee made! I said YES. She then screamed her head off and ran into my house! As she was drinking her coffee, I first called a nurse neighbor to get over to my house with lotsa valium. Then I called the other neighbors with kids, to warn them in. Then I called the police who told me that there was nothing they can do. I would have to call up the Game Warden, but their office wont be open to Monday. This was Saturday!!!!
From that day on
Snakes freak me out!
Once we get into the air conditioned building the first thing I see is a CM walking around with a big fat yellow snake, asking me if I want to touch it! No thanks; I prefer to be boiled in oil! Then we walked briskly ahead and there was another CM holding a big ball of elephant poop! (Maybe we will skip lunch today). On one hand I felt sorry for the CM. Imagine telling your friends & family that you are a CM at WDW, and then telling them I am the Elephant Poop handler & all knowing expert! On the other hand I am thinking some of my jobs I had werent ALL THAT BAD! This CM seemed way too happy (even for Disney standards) telling all of the virtues and the secrets to the universe found in elephant poop. However I wasnt paying any attention, I couldnt get over that this CM was really, really, REALLY way into his elephant poop!
These are a few other reasons Im not crazy about AK. Too many snakes in need of touching, way too much poop info, and the whole educational aspect. Im all for the educational experience when I go to museums, schools and such. But when I go to Disney I want to be awed with magic, laugh on rides, and eat GREAT hot dogs. I need not be learned in the mysteries of poop!
James & Unknown Disney character
Once we were done there we headed back on the train towards civilization bypassing the Disney employee parking lot, and safely arriving back to Africa. It is now time to gear up for our safari. And by gear up I mean whip out those FPs!
We arrive to our Safari jeep, and safely put all our gear away in the nets in front of us. Our driver takes off, and starts telling us all the necessary info we need to know about the upcoming safari. There is also some static coming over his 2-way radio, only it is static and nobody can here what is being said. There was so much static that there was NO mention of poachers in the area looking for a baby elephant. That whole story line was missing from our safari. If this was anybodies first time, they didnt know what trouble we were really in! Also, our Safari guide kept telling us that if we have the chance, to really take the safari when it rains, or early in the morning. However we MIGHT see some animals now! Then we might not! He said this at least twice.
We did see many animals; as usual the lion was sleeping on the rock. We also saw elephants, zebras, flamingos, hippos, giraffes, and gazelles. There were others but I have NO idea what they were! I can never find them on the handy dandy picture chart located for my convenience right in front of me.
The "If you take one more pic of me, I will put you in a home someday" look!
Greetings from Animal Kingdom! Wish you were here!
Once our safari was completed, it was time to go back and see if we can find the Yeti yet again. Only this time James and me will sit together. We left Africa and the 237 degree heat, and descended onto our journey to Mount Everest, by the way of McDonalds
. three times we passed this on our latest journey!
After our long hot journey we arrived at Everest, outfitted with our FPs we were ready. There was a long line of regular people waiting in the bright hot sun to get a glimpse of the Yeti. HA HA! Fools and mere mortals they are. I then tried to find the FP line for us special folk. I found the sign that said FastPass Return, only there was no CM guarding it, and that line of regular people I just mentioned were the people holding FPs!!!!
What the heck?????
There was a line of about 400 people on the FP line, including the ever-delightful upbeat Brazilian teens. I looked up at Everest and noticed it was mysteriously quiet. I asked one of the people up on front of the line if the ride was broken. They responded they didnt know, but they were standing there for a half hour. They looked like they were cooked. It was brutally hot, and NO shade anywhere. I checked around for a CM, but literally there were none to be found.
I decided to go over across from the attraction have a cigarette, and finish off the last of 4 bottles of water I brought with us that morning. As I sat in the smoking section, rumors were rampant. Some were saying that they heard the ride would be down for the rest of the day, some said it will be up & running in 5 minutes. I sat there for ½ hour and not one person moved, nor was there any evidence that EE was up & running, and NO WHERE, BUT NO WHERE was there a CM or any WDW rep to tell anybody anything.
It was now 1:15pm, we have been in AK since 8:15am and went on 3 attractions. It was brutally hot & humid that day. My brain was fried and I was concerned that my
Crocs might melt. I said to James How bout we go back to the POP and hit the pool? A RESOUNDING
YES came out of his mouth!
I made a mental note to myself, get James something special for being such a good kid!
We left the hordes of Yeti seekers & Brazilian teens all there in a state of mass confusion, in the blazing hot CMless sun, walked past McDonalds twice, and exited AK.
We will come back to AK and ride EE again, I promised.
If you care too, please grab a box of Chocolate covered Coconut Mickey Head Candy, and join me for the next installment titled DisUnc meets Forest Gump Jr.
the mistake we made as we ran all the way home, was relating the story to Mom when we got home....there was a scene with an axe in it.....I'll never forget as Mom got this crazy look in her eyes later that night and raised a pork chop at the dinner table over her head in a menacing way.....how we are all not in a rubber room today is beyond me! ...& I can never look at a porchop without remembering that! 
Okay, I thought UM and TM took a long time to add installments 
and taking classes, so I'm falling behind in my reading of your TR! I'm all caught up now, and won't be riding the TOT anytime soon! 
OOOHHHH!
It's not like you have Hucifer's tr to read anymore! 
(Sorry folks!) For me tho, rather than walking in circles, I feel you have to re-walk everywhere you've been in order to reach the 'center' again, the Tree I guess, in order to 'spoke off' and find another 'land'. No shortcuts, cross-overs at all! 
THANKS!!! 
