Pool and new neighbors

[Disney Ella]

Pool owners, do you allow kids that aren't friends of your kids and aren't in the same age range of your kids to swim in your pool? We have a 4' deep frameset pool that we put up every summer. It's not anything fancy, but it keeps the kids cool and busy. In previous years, the kids would go in alone or with their friend who lives on our street and would sometimes invite other friends to swim.

A few months ago, the granddaughter of the older couple next door moved in with her husband or boyfriend and three kids (2, 7 and 9/10?). My DDs12 were in the pool with their friends yesterday and DH said that the seven-year-old was at the fence wanting to go in the pool.

On one hand, I don't want to be the neighborhood mean woman, but on the other hand, I don't want to supervise any extra kids. I thought of inviting them over every once in awhile, but they seem to be a little boisterous and I think they would be asking to come over every day. They had no interest in my kids before this and since my dds are almost teenagers, they don't normally hang out with younger kids so I don't think my kids would appreciate having to entertain these kids every day.

How do you handle this kind of situation?

 

[DevilDuckie]

MAYBE if their mother comes over to supervise, but absolutely not without an adult of their own. Also, only if they know how to swim.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Nope never too much liability.

 

[clh2]

Umm no.

FWIW - I do not have a pool.

Your pool is for your family and your invited guests. That is it.

Once you start to let them come over, it will be hard to reverse the decision. plus, you never know if they will come over when you are not home, i.e. if you are on vacation.

Plus, then they'll need to use your bathroom, do you have any extra juice boxes etc.

And, if you do allow it...the kids wll have to obey your rules, and they MUST bring their own adult supervision.

This pool was YOUR purchase, it is your expense to maintain, it is your investment, it is your liability that will suffer should something happen.

 

[lillygator]

no, luckily most everyone in our neighborhood has a pool, but I certainly wouldn't want the extra liability.

 

[mommasita]

We have a pool, but only family and my children's friends come over. There is always an adult present. I would not invite or OK anyone other than that..

 

[Disney Ella]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your input, and I'm going to keep the pool for family and friends only. I think it will be a lot easier that way.

 

[RLccweems]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your input, and I'm going to keep the pool for family and friends only. I think it will be a lot easier that way.

That's what we do....and it works well.

 

[Serena]

I would and then get annoyed when they start asking every day, more annoyed when they try to come in for the restroom instead of going home. Then angry when one of them almost drowns and no one was watching them.
So, in the end, I'd wish I said no in the first place.

 

[chisnpeke]

No. Absolutely not. Way too much liability. If you were to go away the kids might think it's ok to use the pool and go in alone. What if something happened?

 

[dogluva]

I would and then get annoyed when they start asking every day, more annoyed when they try to come in for the restroom instead of going home. Then angry when one of them almost drowns and no one was watching them.
So, in the end, I'd wish I said no in the first place.

Yea, I would welcome them and then get resentful. This is my sixth year with a pool and I have decided that it is only my kids. Even adults who watch their kids take advantage. The kids get bored and then up going in my house. Some don't bring towels and have to use ours (I do so much laundry as it is with my own six). I ended having to feed them snack-most don't even bring something to drink. It is too much. I hate being other families' summer enteraintment.

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Kimberly]

Yea, I would welcome them and then get resentful. This is my sixth year with a pool and I have decided that it is only my kids. Even adults who watch their kids take advantage. The kids get bored and then up going in my house. Some don't bring towels and have to use ours (I do so much laundry as it is with my own six). I ended having to feed them snack-most don't even bring something to drink. It is too much. I hate being other families' summer enteraintment.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Can't blame you. My parents only let CLOSE family and friends swim, and it's usually them calling someone to come over. Way too much liability these days.

 

[kirbsam]

only invited guests get to swim. my kids can have anyone over they want, and of course there are rules, but noone just comes over and asks to go swimming. they get a firm no, if they do.

 

[twinmomplus2new]

The rule here is simple. I have to invite you and then you may only swim if A PARENT remains with u. No exceptions to that rule.

I have found ove rthe years alot of people who wish to drop and run and I become daycare. I have since ended that with the above rule.

My absolute fave remark is. No he/she can't swim I have way to much to do to sit by a pool. AAAHh LOL and I don't.

 

[mnasmom3]

This has been a subject of debate here in the past. We have several kids oun our street and they all play together. Our pool is for MY kids only. There are plenty of reasons why and many have been already been mentioned. Liability. I have 3 kids. That's enough for one person to keep an eye on. If I let them in once, they'll surely be beating on my door every day at the butt crack of dawn with a towel around their neck. Sorry, I don't want to spend every minute of my days pool supervising! Let one friend in and before long, they'll all come a'running. They'll stay all day and expect snacks. They'll drag their wet butts into my house to use the bathroom. One family told my dd that if the reason I didn't want neighbor kids in our pool was because I'd have to watch them, that she would come down and supervise her own kid while they swam in my pool. That's pretty ballsy, eh? Yeah, right. LIke you're doing me a favor my not forcing me to watch your kids in my pool. It's just as much because I don't want to entertain everyones mother, too! I don't even like this woman. Even if I did...I don't want her and her kids on my deck and in my pool every day! Do yourself a favor....keep it for your family and invited guests only....by YOUR invite, not your kids. Make that clear to them right away.

 

[Barb]

Not on your life! Like everyone said, it can only get worse.

When we lived in a close neighborhood, there was one girl who was at my door every day to go swimming. She was a friend of the kids, so she had already been allowed in. But it got so bad and she became such a pest, that I instituted family only days. Friends could swim, with the kids, on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday only. It worked out perfectly. Although there were some non-friends days where she would casually ask me if this was a friends can swim day, knowing full well it wasn't. I'm sure she thought I'd forget or give in this one time. Never happened.

 

[Mom2Nick]

Nope - I'd do strict by invitation only and watch how you respond when somebody says thank you.

My sister made the mistake of responding to a thank you with "no problem, anytime" which was taken literally.... She comes home from work and often finds neighbors floating in her pool......

 

[disykat]

NO! I grew up without a pool and there were two houses with pools in our neighborhood. Their kids were older than us, so we heard them swimming but weren't invited. Did I want to swim? Of course! Sometimes it felt like torture hearing the fun they were having. Was I allowed to invite myself? No way - my parents would have punished me if I dared.

My parents took me swimming at the local pool, a lake, or the river occasionally. I wasn't deprived, even if it momentarily felt like it. I consider it a big problem if adults are continually giving into children just to spare them from ever having any disappointment.

Not only should you not feel guilty, you should know you are doing the right thing.

 

[disneyfanforever]

NO, way too much liability letting other kids come over. I grew up with a pool, and only friends we invited were allowed to come over. I remember when my sister would have big birthday parties at our pool. I still can't get over the mothers that would leave their kids at our house knowing full well their kid couldn't swim. I remember my parents having adults stationed all over the pool making sure everyone was okay. I would defiinitely not want that responsibility all the time.

I remember one year at my sister's bday party (she was around 8), the party had been over for over an hour and there was still a little girl there with her cousin (she brought a relative to my sister's bday party but that is another issue entirely ). We finally asked her when her mom would be there, and she said her mom told her to call whenever she got tired and wanted to come home. The invitation definitely stated what time the party ended. The nerve of some people!

 

[TammyP2335]

Nope - they just moved in - you don't even know the family yet - to much liability.