PMS in a Handbasket--Don't be afraid, just bring us food... Part 21

Status
Not open for further replies.
Might have to come up with some really tough love sweetie.:hug: Don't do her work, spend the rest of her life in HS. :rolleyes1



Hello and goodnight! Headed to bed, hopefully no early morning calls. :headache:

See you all tomorrow.
Pretty much what Paige said too. She may fail 8th grade and maybe that will finally wake her up to the reality of life. I honestly can't see her in HS next year.
 
Pretty much what Paige said too. She may fail 8th grade and maybe that will finally wake her up to the reality of life. I honestly can't see her in HS next year.

I forgot, does she see someone specifically about her ADD? I know that there are people who work directly with a child to help with their organizational skills. Ben could have probably used that help. He didn't want any help/advice from me. He's 17yo now and we battled it out tonight, which got quite nasty and is why I'm in such a rotten mood. It still revolves around his lack or organization and how he gets so involved in the thing of the moment", forgetting everything else that's going on. Sometimes he deals with his ADD quite well and other times he's screaming ADD. When I'm having a tough time with other things it's especially exhausting to fight this battle. I know you have a lot on your plate, too. :hug:

As to letting them fail, ultimately that is only in their control. However, I took a lot of privileges away from Ben when he was struggling in school. TV and computer time was restricted. No going out with friends when his grades weren't up. Basically I rode him a lot and stayed in close contact with his teachers. I personally would not just step back from a 13yo and let them fail without making their life pretty miserable first. Of course she can decide not to turn the assignments in. Have you had her tested recently for any learning issues? What kind of a work-up did she have when she was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD?

OK, now I'm going to bed. I got caught up in the DIS and started laundry, which is fine because I wouldn't have gone to sleep that early anyway.
 
If you can see this...good morning :wave2:


I'm off to work. Have a nice day.
 
Good morning everyone. A quick hi before I run out the door.

DD and I started the day with a great big argument. Not about school work, about Monkey Bars. She has been playing on the Monkey Bars so much at school that her hands are covered in blisters. One is huge, open and seeping. I asked her to lay off the Monkey Bars for a few days...that started world war 3 in our house. :sad2: She hasn't mastered how to do the Monkey Bars....she'll spend hours over there working on it until she can do it perfectly. She's so strange.

Caro, maybe she is a "p" instead of a "j". In terms of personality types, "p"s take a circular path to get to an end point. If she has ADD, she may be moving in her circle and getting too off task to get back on track. "P"s don't do well with lists, but I don't pretend to know how their minds work because I'm a great big "J". The counselor at school should be able to give assistance in good ways to get her back on track.

I will admit that I'm a "tough love" parent too. I'd start stripping privilages as a "reminder". The other hell on earth would be to threaten to go to school WITH her for a while.


Here's a P definition:
Perceiving Characteristics

Comfortable moving into action without a plan; plan on-the-go.

Like to multitask, have variety, mix work and play.

Naturally tolerant of time pressure; work best close to the deadlines.

Instinctively avoid commitments which interfere with flexibility, freedom and variety
 

Lara, Makayla has the same blisters for the same reason! She said all her friends have them. She also said she's mastered the art of monkey bar climbing.
 
Good Morning! :wave2:

I hope everyone has a great Wednesday!
 
Good Morning.

Jack was found, but he was found by animal control. So, after work, I have to go see how to go about bailing him out :sad2:
 
/
Good Morning

Questions of the day-
If you had something delivered and you weren't home, where would delivery person leave it? (if not at front door)
Also, do you normally use your front door to get in the house or do you use some other door?

If delivery person didn't leave package on our front porch, I would say they'd maybe leave it in our carport, which has a gate in front of it. We don't park a vehicle in there, so it may take us awhile to find it.

Yes, we use our front door when we come home. We do also have a door in the car port, but don't use it much.
 
Good morning, all.

Caro, our delivery guys would probably leave it by the front door or by the garage door. If someone is home but not answering the door for some reason they leave it IN the garage if it's open, LOL.
 
Good morning all.

Seems like there are some hugs needed:grouphug:

Aimee- glady your dog has been found:yay:



Our delivery guy would either leave it on the front porch or outside our garage door in the corner.
 
Good morning!
Lara, my DD would say your DD has rips. Gymnast talk for what happens to your hands after working on the bars too much. It's a badge of honor.

Caro, my delivery person would put them at the first door they see, the one going in to our garage. Too bag it's not covered, so if it's raining the package would get soaking wet.
 
I really don't want to go to work today. I cried at work yesterday - I'm PMSing and my boss was being a royal pain, and I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I broke down and cried. And then once I started crying, I started thinking about all sorts of other stuff and I couldn't stop! I hate when that happens!
 
I really don't want to go to work today. I cried at work yesterday - I'm PMSing and my boss was being a royal pain, and I finally couldn't take it anymore, so I broke down and cried. And then once I started crying, I started thinking about all sorts of other stuff and I couldn't stop! I hate when that happens!

:hug: I'm sorry. Maybe you should take a mental health day.
 
:hug: I'm sorry. Maybe you should take a mental health day.

Maybe I should! :scratchin: But I have a lot of projects going on. She gets cranky when I'm not there :laughing:. I'll suck it up and go.

Off to get ready. See you guys later!
 
darn those delivery people, they love to leave stuff on my front porch...but UPS always leaves stuff behind my house at a back door under the deck which we never use...once something was back there for 4 days before I saw it pulling up to the house .


:grouphug: nutty, Im sorry you are having such a hard time right now. Just keep coming here and letting us help hold you up.

Good Morning everyone


Angel must have slept in so I'm gonna toss a little sunshine. :sunny:
 
morning :wave2:

I gotta find less cheerfull waving guy for morning :headache:


Aimee, so glad your dog was found. At least at Animal Control you know he is safe.


Caro, I am a huge believer in tough love, but also heavy on the LOVE part. Now that your schedule has changed do you think that will help you to stay on top of her more? Do they use an agenda at her school?

Our schools all use an agenda. The kids are required to have them and all teachers write the work on the board and the first thing the kids do is copy it down in the agenda. The teachers will check it for those kids that need it per and agreement with the parents. If she threw out the list of back work then it sounds like you need to have it emailed home to you so that at least you have it. Yes she needs to learn to be independent, but she also is floundering and needs your guidance. If you give up now it would be the worst thing for her. Her brain isn't nearly done cooking and you have to keep helping it bake at the right temperature.

I like the folder idea if the 3 ring binder is just to much. Maybe just a file folder she can throw everything in and then you can go through with her at the end of the day. Even a pocket folder may be too much.

Also, this is a HUGE thing and would require a lot of perseverence on your part. You said that she was having free time because she told you that she had no homework. Obviously she has homework. And she has back work. If it were me I would tell my child that they will be doing homework no matter what. If they don't bring the work home from school then I will give them work to do. There are TONS of places on the internet where you can get math worksheets, writing assignments, you can have her do journal writing, you can find history and science questions for her to answer that relate to what she is doing in school etc.. I can send you tons of links if you would like.

Make it so she figures out that she would be MUCH better off just doing the homework that the teachers assign than the stuff that MOM is assigning. Mom stuff doesn't even need to be hard, just basic busy work. You really are trying to show her that you are not going to let her slide by and have free time if she just "forgets" her work. I would require up to 2 hours of mom work for every night she says that she has no work, until she is caught up with her work from school. I have a feeling that the work from school will not seem so bad in comparison. Taking away all privleges AND still requireing her to do work is a double whammy.

You may need to use Merle's suggestion to Tig also. Set a timer for 15 mintues and give her a reasonable goal to meet in that time. You need to do 6 math problems before the timer goes off, or write one paragraph etc.. That helps to break things down. With some kids it helps to fold the paper so they are only looking at the problems they are doing at that moment if possible. If there is a whole page of math, cover up all but one row with a piece of dark paper so her eye is only on the ones she is working on. Same with other subjects. It is kind of like putting blinders on a race horse.

Also, some kids just need to have you sitting with them. My youngest is like that. I just have to sit by her while she does her homework. Yes, there is a lot that I need to be doing, but this is my top priority so I will get a magazine or some work I need to do and sit right next to her to help keep her focused. I try to be gentle (some days are better than others!) and just point to the next problem or ask about the next sentence or word to refocus her when she is playing with her pencil or getting ready to jump out of her chair.

Okay that way too much thought for me before 9am and with no coffee and a shower. We are here with you to help. :hug:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

PixFuture Display Ad Tag




New Posts









Receive up to $1,000 in Onboard Credit and a Gift Basket!
That’s right — when you book your Disney Cruise with Dreams Unlimited Travel, you’ll receive incredible shipboard credits to spend during your vacation!
CLICK HERE














DIS Facebook DIS youtube DIS Instagram DIS Pinterest DIS Tiktok DIS Twitter

Back
Top