Please tell me if I am overreacting....

[ebaynut31]

My DD 10 is allowed to talk on instant messaging with her friends from school. I will come in the room and check on her every once and a while to make sure nothing funny is going on.

Well, last night her friend J told her friend S that some guy was bothering her. He asked her some personal questions, mentioned he would see J at a local store, or see her in her grave!

S told my DD about this. My daughter told me. J would not tell her parents. I am VERY concerned about this. There have been so many kids getting killed lately.

I made the decision to call J's parents. Her dad told me that kids tend to exaggerate and he is not getting to excited about it. I have spoken to my dad, who is a retired police officer. I want to make sure that someone in authority knows about this.

Do you think I overreacted when I called J's father? He was annoyed by my call.

Needless to say, there will be no IM talking for a while.

 

[Serena]

No you didn't overreact. I think you did the right thing.

 

[Pop Daddy]

what did Q say

 

[ebaynut31]

Q said long post.

 

[goofy4tink]

Absolutely the right thing. You can never be to safe and I would like to think that my dd's friends' parents would call to let me know if something like this happened. As a parent, thank-you!!!

 

[ebaynut31]

My DD knows that she can come to me with anything. I am proud to say I am nosey when it comes to the kids.

 

[Lorix2]

Karen - you did the right thing for sure! I'd want to know about it if it were my daughter. God forbid this is real, how would you have felt IF something happened and you knew about it?You had to inform the parent for the child's own safety. You are not overreacting - you're concerned and rightfully so. Good for you!

 

[cinmell]

You did the right thing. I'd rather overreact than not react at all when it comes to my child's or any child's safety.

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by ebaynut31
Q said long post.

10 yo's love shock value when they say stuff, but I would've said something to J's mom.

 

[tkd lisa]

Good heavens, yes, you did the right thing! I'm a little weirded out that her dad wasn't concerned!!! Just think if you hadn't called and something had happened. You bet your bippie that dad would have blamed you for not telling him!

 

[ebaynut31]

Thanks everyone. I just hope J's dad talks to her. I'm sure my DD will let me know about it today. She was a little afraid of how her friends may feel about me saying something. She also realized the importance of keeping her friends safe.

 

[CEDmom]

Yes, I think you did the right thing. I think many tragedies could have been avoided had someone taken warning signs seriously.

 

[TammyNC]

Yes, I think you did the proper thing. I also am somewhat surprised by the fathers attitude about the matter. It is great that your DD knows that she can talk to you and I'm sure you'll hear if the father had a talk with her.

 

[ByTheSea]

I think you did the right thing as well. If the situation was reversed, you would want to be informed right?

 

[CRB#33]

You did the right thing.

You know it's the attitude that "this won't happen to my child" that gets kids in trouble.

What's that father's problem??? If he was paying more attention, that child probably never would have answered the personal questions in the first place. Honestly, this gets me so upset.

 

[Disney Doll]

I think you did the right thing. While I tend to agree that maybe kids at that age do exaggerate a little, if I was that other child's parent , I would still want to know if something like that was said in reference to my child. It would make me keep a bit of a closer eye on things.

Good job for being a concerned parent!

 

[KNBNESMOM]

I think that you did the right thing as well. I have a 10yo DD myself and I would certainly take something like this seriously. Even though kids this age do tend to exaggerate sometimes, you just don't ever know what is really going on and I would rather be safe than sorry. If what this child said is true I can only imagine how frightening it might be for her and I can't understand why her father would not take it more seriously than he did.

 

[charabby]

I think you did the right thing by telling the dad - even given his reaction. I'm curious, though, why is she banned from IM? I'm not sure I see why that is necessary. Just asking.

 

[luvflorida]

You absolutely did the right thing. I never hesitate to call parents if I have a concern, and I always worry that I'm overreacting or that the parents will think I'm nutty or something. But I'd feel terrible if I didn't do something and something awful happened that could have been prevented.

If a parent called me with a concern about my child, I'd certainly listen to them and not just brush it off.

 

[ebaynut31]

charabby, I am not familiar with this IM stuff. That is why I won't let her use it for a few days. I guess I need to do more research about how someone can get in on the conversation without being invited in.

I think that the person hacked into one girl's computer and used her screen name to start asking questions. If so, then he knows who her friends are and I want to change names and such before going back on.

Like I said, I don't know enough about instant messaging yet. But, any info would be appreciated. It was the only way I knew how to handle it.