please ignore

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[peacefulgirl]

please ignore

 

[KAG Mom]

I really don't have any solid advice that I can give you, but I think realizing the problem is half the battle. I have been married for over twenty years, and I can remember being so overwhelmed at times over money. But we kept working together at it, and we eventually pulled ourselves out of debt. I have faith that you can do it, it sounds like you are on the right track. Good luck to you!

 

[Diamond_Girls]

you mentioned that he is still having it taken out... look at what the employer match is (unless you mentioned this and I missed it... if so, then everyone just ignore my post) and if he is having more taken out than is being matched (for example if they match up to 5% and he is having 6%) then drop his down and add to yours. That way you both get free money from your company. It won't save you any money now, but will in the long run when you go to retire!

Good luck!

 

[Clevera]

Have you considered picking up a part-time job? Even though I worked 40+ hours a week, I picked up a second job as a cashier for a national bookstore chain and work about 20 hours extra. It sounds like a lot of work!!! it was minimum wage!!! BUT when we made our monthly sales goals (which we did regularly), the part-timers receiveda $30 voucher (the full-timers received more), which I spent wholly on dinner at the cafe during breaks (after emp discount, a bagel and soup was $2 ). All the money I made in this second job went straight to bills, and I was able to quit after seventeen months because the several thousand I made made my finances more manageable!!!

For extreme situations, consider selling your home and renting a smaller place for a year or two. my college friends did this ($1,300 monthly morg vs. $600 monthly rent) and were able to get ahead in their own financial planning BY FAR. It was embarrassing for them at first but when they came out on top, it was as if they'd added years to their life and they wished they'd done it sooner. Home ownership means little when you are financially unhappy and there will always be homes in the future you can buy!

Keep me posted, peacefulgirl!!!

 

[Local_Girl]

First of all... and Hugs to you...I understand what it's like to be swallowed by debt. We have lots of CC debt now. DH works, I'm a SAHM...but he is able to work quite a bit of OT and makes more $$ that way than if I were to get a PT job; factoring in costs for child care, work wardrobe, and other expenses incurred with a job outside the home. He handles the finances, which is hard for me, because we don't always see eye to eye about money (Generally, I'm the saver, he's the spender). We both recognize that changes have to be made however, and have started working on it! But enough about us...

There were a couple of things I picked out of your post. First of all, if you are still short $400 per month after all your current cost cutting measures, I think you need to do something big, fast. I agree with the other posters about another PT job for either you or DH, if possible. Or could one of you try to find a better paying job? Could you downsize your home? Sell a vehicle (if you have more than 1...you mentioned you work at the same company)? Do you and DH eat lunches out or bring them from home? Could you shop around and lower your insurance rates?

You also mentioned that DH is having a hard time getting a handle on the situation. If you haven't already done so, sit down with him and discuss it in depth. You will need to work together to solve this problem. In my opinion, if only one of you is paddling the boat on one side...you'll continue off track or go in circles, going no where fast.

Good Luck, Peacefulgirl...to you and all of us struggling with debt.

 

[dvcgirl]

Hi PeacefulGirl,

First of all, recognizing that you're in serious trouble is part of the problem. You took a good look at your budget and now have an idea of the amount you are short each month.

First of all, I'd recommend that you find a non-profit debt counseling center that can help you. Not one that will try and sell you yet another debt consolidation loan, but one that can help you with your budget.

In the description of your problem, I noticed a couple of things. First of all, you said that you are short $400 each month before gas and food, so conservatively, I'd say you're short at least $1,000 each month....so $12,000 after taxes....which is roughly $16,000 gross income. You are going to have to make very difficult choices in your life. And the work ahead will not be easy, not by a longshot. But the pride that you'll feel after you pull yourself out of this hole will feel so much better than the situation that you're in now.

So before we talk about cutting things, I'd say right off the bat that you need to be bringing in additional income. Can either or both of you get a second job or get some overtime at your current jobs? One of you definitely needs to be doing this. How about talking to your boss and asking for a raise? Are you good at what you do? The worst thing that your boss can say is "no, we can't do that right now". At least you asked.

Okay, then you mentioned that you have a mortgage payment and a car payment. One car payment or two? How much is that costing you per month? I'd say that the car payments need to go. At a minimum I'd think about selling your cars to ditch those payments and getting good used cars for less money. Also, you said that you are in essence making extra payments on your mortgage and car by having an equity company take out funds weekly. Stop that. Those are great things to do, but not when you're short $1,000 a month minimum. You can re-start that practice down the road when you pull yourself out of the hole that you're in.

The mortgage payment. What kind of house do you live in? Is there a possibility for you to sell your home and downsize to another less expensive home? I don't know if that's possible, but a smaller mortgage payment would certainly help.

As for little things. Okay, I don't think that ditching your small cable bill or ISP bill will help. For one, the internet can be a useful tool in helping you get out of debt. Do you have a regular phone bill? If you do, why not drop the regular line and just use your cell phones as the main line. That can save you some money right there if you have the right plan.

As for spending. Take a serious look at every single thing you want to buy and determine if you need it. If you have any credit cards, but them all up except for the one with the lowest interest rate and use that only for an emergency.

I wish you the best of luck in your situation...

 

[wide awake]

I agree with many of the PPs...stop the extra mortgage and car payments, smaller house or one less car, get DH on board...and possibly stop the 401 contributions for both of you. Can you refi and lower your mortgage...lots of companies are doing very low rate adjustables. None of these tips are great for future finances, but if you can get yourself in a liveable position and change your habits...which it sounds as if you've already done, you can start building your net worth again later.

 

[tbelfonti]

One thing that came to mind immediately - when you do your taxes, do you end up getting a refund every year? If so, reduce the taxes being taken out so that you can get use of that money immediately.

Other ideas:

You definitely need to review all your spending habits. Is it possible to consolidate all your loans into a second mortgage or home equity loan? One payment spread out over 10 years might be easier to handle.

Can you cancel the cell phones? How about the internet connection? Do you have an "extras" on your home phone (call waiting / caller id / voicemail)? Cancelling that will save money. What about home delivery of newspaper? Magazine subscriptions?

Do you eat out a lot or cook at home? Brown bag to work or eat out? What do you do for entertainment?

Look into a more economical car - both in gas usage and in the pocketbook. If you and DH work at the same place or work close to home you can share one car and sell the other - this would save on repairs / gas and insurance.

Is your home insurance policy up to date? Does it cover the amount to replace your house or to purchase a comparable house? Because God Forbid your house burns to the ground - you don't need to "replace" the land it's on. You may be able to reduce that and save some money that way.

I wish you luck in this - like PP's have said, acknowledging the problem is the first step in fixing it

 

[fkj2]

Not that it's any help or consolation but you are so not alone!

A lot of people are struggling to manage money and finances right now. I stopped working six years ago to take care of an ailing mom and eventually, the money does run out. You never know how long illness or unemployment may last. I'll be tapping retirement funds here soon unless I can make a freelance writing and editing business fly. But, I also believe God has led me to this point and He won't desert me now.

There is a Christian-based (but does not push religion) counseling service called Crown.org. The web site offers all sorts of resources and calculators and you might want to consider contacting them to get advice or see if they can negotiate lower payments to some of the creditors. Can you barter services for some of the bills to the dentist, for example? Lawn work, cleaning, child care, pet care, etc.

I think we've (at least many of us) become so convinced that there isn't any end to the money and there can be. I've gotten my wake-up call. I really feel sorry for the people who don't seem to understand that yet; those who've refied their homes for 125% of its value or those who are buying big homes at interest-only mortgages--they've really got nothing invested at all.

At least you can acknowledge a problem. Good luck.

 

[Laurajean1014]

Run a simple Excel spread sheet of everything you bought (or used your money for, for an entire month). Say May since it's a full month.

When entereing a number for groceries don't put in $425. Put it in the way you used your money (=125+125+125+75). Excel will automatically calculate and you can go back to that number and see how many times you fequented the grocery store. This also works well for disposable income stores like Target, Macy's, Nordstrom, etc. It shows you where you money is going to; hence when you know that you can get a better grip on your expenses.

I'm not a believer of not putting in 401k, but can you take a loan from your 401k? If you already have, then I would stop spending. I know it's tough. But you need to lower your nut.

Have you looked at lower your insurance on cars - maybe for this year only go with collision (that's assuming you are good drivers). If you lease your cars, you may not be able to do so. Or change your deductible to a higher rate. Shop around and find a better insurance (home, car, etc.).

Drive less or together to say money on gas (which is now quite an expense). Brown bag instead of going to cafe for breakfast, lunch. Don't eat out - maybe once a week. You will see the extra cash come in.

Do the spreadsheet from your check book register. It will give you the clues you are looking for and help you modiffy your spending.

 

[crisi]

Watch refinancing your home with an adjustable mortgage. Unless you plan on your income increasing to cover the difference when your mortgage adjusts, you can put yourself in even worse shape. Lots of people are losing their homes doing this.

What you are missing is that you lived beyond your means for a long time. Paying it off is going to involve living below your means for even longer. And its going to hurt more.

One option that hasn't been discussed is bankruptcy. I hate bankruptcy. But it is there.

 

[RoyalCanadian]

I'll put my flame-retardant suit on here, because I know how sacrosanct the concept of planning yet another Disney vacation is on these boards...but part of cutting out all the extraneous expenses in order to get the financial picture into proper focus would be to cut out any planned vacations away from home, including the sacred Disney vacation.

Others might try to tell you that the bills will still be waiting when you get home...that there is nothing like living for today...that a Disney vacation is so "magical"...that you deserve it.

However, the cold hard facts of hitting financial bottom (and congrats to the OP for realizing that is where they are and for seeking a responsible way to address the situation -- so many others fool themselves into thinking otherwise and spend themselves into the oblivion of bankruptcy) demand that all extras be cut. Yes - we all deserve a vacation, but vacations can be had at home just as easily and much, much cheaper than Disney.

Disney will still be waiting for you when the financial outlook is much rosier and you have the money to save (on top of saving for retirement and the proverbial rainy day) for that well-deserved vacation.

 

[crisi]

I assumed when she said she'd cut out all luxuries that the Disney vacation had gone.

 

[dvcgirl]

Well, I think RoyalCanadian makes an outstanding point though. If you're in financial trouble such as the OP is...a Disney vacation, or any vacation that isn't a "day trip" for that matter....well it would have to be out of the question. Even a hope that a vacation like that could take place in the next couple of years would highlight a serious lack of judgement. Come here to fulfill your Disney Fix so to speak. Live vicariously through others. But understand that a trip to WDW will only make matters worse.

I have family members who have done just this kind of thing. They dig themselves in such a hole and can't see a way out and figure...so what's another thousand or two to the pile. It's the fast route to bankruptcy.

 

[tlbwriter]

I really dont own anyone other than loans. I pay cash at dentist as I go and cash when I get a car repair. It just means no bills get paid that week and and that keeps happening each week.

You can make monthly payments for most medical bills. I always do this, and they never charge interest or a penalty. I know it's nice to pay it all at once, but at this point you need to redirect your cash flow.

I have my mortgage taken out weekly by a equity company, this allows for an extra payment a couple times a year on principal. I do this for my car and the mortgage. Every Monday they automatically withdraw X amount and send those payments in for me. This works well for me, except when DH goes to the atm (gas or food shopping) and makes that account low.

I think you should stop this. Not only can you not afford the extra principal payments at this time, but I'm sure you are also paying fees to the equity company. If you get paid once a month, pay all of your bills at the beginning of the month. That way, they'll be paid before your DH has the opportunity to overdraw that account. Also, consider putting him on a cash "allowance" rather than using an ATM card.

DH is just so upset these days that I am on this alone until he comes around... he just can't see how this can happen

It happened because you were borrowing money to pay day-to-day living expenses. If he wasn't aware you were taking out loans, I can see why he's blindsided. But if he did know, how could he not see that it was going to catch up with you one day?

You might be able to refinance your mortgage and roll the closing cost into the mortgage, which means you wouldn't have to come up with any money out of pocket. But you may be too maxxed out to do this, or you may not have enough equity to make it worthwhile. Personally, I would avoid an adjustible rate - you need a stable payment right now.

How much is he putting into his 401K? Is it enough to make a dent in the debt? If so, suspend his contributions for a while.

Find out how much you could save by increasing the deductible on your home and car insurance.

 

[minkydog]

As someone else has said, this did not happen overnight and it's gonna take a long time to dig your way out. The first thing I would do is contact Consumer Credit Counseling. they are a nonprofit group who helps people get their bills paid and teaches them how to live within their means. they also go to bat with your creditors to work out payment plans.

What you are going through--living beyond your means--is so very common. Don't wait until you are falling behind on your bills and your credit is ruined. Right now, that's one thing you hve going for you. You're DH is in denial right now and you both have to be on the same plan to get out of debt. Whatever you do DONT let a mortgage or car payment lapse. Pay the doctor & hospital too, because healthcare agencies are quick to file a complaint. If your loans are secured by your home(never,NEVER do this!), you must pay them or lose your house.

Sell at least one car and buy something much less expensive, for cash if you can. If you can get a second job that will help you dig out sooner, but only if you put ALL the money directly toward debt. Don't get a second job and then think you can start going out to eat again.

I know you must be just about sick over this. I have been in your shoes. You can get through it if you do it together. Call CCC; it's agreat agency and they will treat you well. It will help you sleep at night.

 

[PattiPB]

As usual, DISers offer great advice with no judgment.

My little tidbit: BABYSIT! You work fulltime, and have a DD you don't see all day already, so I, personally, wouldn't suggest a part-time job. I'd start babysitting for extra income in your own home. This way, you are home with your daughter, can get your daily chores done, and can make a little extra money while your daughter has a playmate. Convert every penny to loan payments ASAP---no impulse to spend the "extra" cash.

If you can come up with a different home-based PT job, I'd stick with that. IMHO, a short-term increase in income will help you while you decrease your expenses to the bone.

You've gotten a lot of good ideas for decreasing daily expenditures. I hope you can make use of them.