Please help with my decision to move!!

[jenrose66]

I am incapable of making a decision. I feel like every decision (aside from marrying my husband) I've ever made has been wrong.

Anyway, for a variety of reasons, our home is up for sale. I'm not sad to be moving, we chose to buy in the city we grew up in because it is very affordable, but it's just a lousy neighboorhood. We have put about 10K into the house in the year and a half that we have been there that we won't be making back...which is a bit hard to swallow, but, I guess you live and learn.

Anyway, traffic at my house has been sluggish to say the least. We had one young couple come through and one other man come through during an open house.

So I really want to move out of state. I have been seriously considering it (even planning a trip to NC with dh so we can explore the area) because we hate NY. The taxes are ridiculous and the winters are horrible. It is just very daunting to pick up and move. We don't have any family south and it just seems almost impossible to pick a spot and just move. Still, it is just very tempting. Though it would probably be hard to leave the family, especially for dh because he works for his family business. I also have a pretty good job and am not thrilled about having to start over somewhere new.

So we have been keeping our options opened. We found a new build community that we really like. We could build a brand new house for a very reasonable price. Even though it is reasonable for a new build it is still at the top of our budget. We would have $238.00 left a month after all of our expenses (including food). To me that is scary...but then again, I'm sure a lot of people live like that and we don't have any kids to support, it is just us. It is a very nice community, kind of in the middle of nowhere (which appeals to me). The only other thing is to put the downpayment required we would have to wipe all of our savings out of the bank. The house would be done at the end of Feb. and we would move with pretty much nothing. The only other negative is that I would have to commute 45 minutes each way to work (though it takes me 32 minutes now, so it's only a few more minutes).

Even with everything I said above, what worries me most is I don't think our house will sell. We'd be building non contingent and I fear being stuck with two houses. My realator said that in my neighboorhood we would be able to rent for what our mortgage and ins. costs with no problem. But becoming a landlord scares me.

If we stay in NY I definately want this house and the lifestyle of living somewhere nice. But I don't know if I could handle the stress of keeping my other house rented till it sold. If we don't build now, we will be priced out of the development at the next price increase...

I don't know what to do. I know I'd love to leave the state and when our house sells that will be a prime chance...on the other hand we would be going somewhere with no jobs or insurance...and I'm scared my husband might resent me.

 

[chrissyk]

I don't know about leaving the state with no jobs, but I also tend to think that the downsides of the new construction option sound overwhelming. That is a very tight budget, and things happen, KWIM? Heat bills can be higher than you think, your dog might need to have surgery, your car may need new tires...$238/month for everything outside of budgeted items is like a guarantee that you will go into debt to get the new construction. Also, building non-contingent is scary because what if you can't rent out the house?

Would it be possible to find new jobs out-of-state and then plan the move? People do it all the time (we did and we have no regrets). Pick a general area that you like with jobs similar to what you do now and start applying.

 

[lil mermaid]

If you really want to move out of state, couldn't the two of you find jobs first, then move? Maybe one of you could even find a job with a good relocation package. Start applying, and see what happens! I know that I, personally, wouldn't be brave enough to move somewhere without a job, and especially without health insurance.

About the new house - $238 per month isn't much left over. There are tons of expenses that come with buying a new house. Also, what if you have some kind of emergency and need money? You won't be able to save if you have $238 per month after expenses.

According to your profile, you are only 23. That is pretty young - many 23 year olds don't own a house at all - so it sounds like you are doing pretty well. Maybe you could just stay in your current place a little longer, until you build up more equity and start making more money, then build a new house?

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out for you.

 

[becker1123]

Having owned and/or built five homes in the past 12 years, I caution you to jump into a new house with only a couple hundred dollars extra. New homes don't come with blinds or landscaping. They are empty shells. Nice, new shells, but empty none the less. You will end up spending more on a new house than you think.

I do understand your desire to move, however. A friend of mine moved from PA to SC recently because they wanted a better quality of life (cheaper, easier commute, etc.). They chose a city they were interested in and rented a house until they found jobs and got acclimated to the new town. By then they had a better idea of where they wanted to live permanently. There will always be nice housing developments. My advice is to wait until things are settled before jumping into something that might cause more stress later.

 

[jenrose66]

I did just want to thank you for your replies. Me and Jake have been talking tirelessly about this for the last few days and we decided that building the house here wasn't for us (believe it or not, even my realator said he thought this wouldn't be the best move for us). We are going to pursue going south further. We're planning on taking a trip to NC in a couple weeks just to kind of get a feel for a few cities.

 

[chrissyk]

I did just want to thank you for your replies. Me and Jake have been talking tirelessly about this for the last few days and we decided that building the house here wasn't for us (believe it or not, even my realator said he thought this wouldn't be the best move for us). We are going to pursue going south further. We're planning on taking a trip to NC in a couple weeks just to kind of get a feel for a few cities.

Good luck!! Hopefully at least one of you can find a job wherever it is that you decide to move, and that should make the move a lot easier