Just found this thread, but you absolutely made the right decision, and not backing down was an important lesson for your DD to take on, its never to old to have boundries.
If its any comfort to you, when i was younger than your DD, about 18, I moved in with an absolute loser who didn't work, smoked and liked using his benefit cheque for trips to the bar. I worked full time while living with him and sadly contributed to his little habits to keep him happy. My whole family protested at my actions and sadly I am the sort of person who will delibarately do the opposite even though i know what is best for me deep down, I nearly lost contact with my family over this guy, as if he wasn't welcome then neither was I.
6 months later, after i nearly cut off all friends and family, i realised that while being in love was great and all, was it really a mutual love? Was the way he treated me really a sign of love? And did i want to feel this lonely when i was so young? With the help of my brother i packed my stuff, moved back home and started acting my age again,
My point is if you have taught her well, then her self worth will kick in soon and she will realise that she is worth more than this. She has to discover this on her own, no amount of pushing will help, but she will get there, with a mom like you how could she not? I really hope she gets on that bus beacuse a time out will be exactly what she needs to gain perspective, and maybe control of her wallet again, its was so nice to open my purse again without someone else trying to reach in too
Take care xx