Please help my pottytrain my stubborn almost 4 dd!

[msce2]

I have potty trained 3. With first DS it was incredibly frustrating. He was 4 when he finally was trained, and I think it was very stressful for both of us. With DD I tried something different. She loved M&M's. Every time she peed successfully on the potty she got M&M's. How many she got depended on how much she went (1-3). If she went poopy she got a bunch (maybe 5-7). It took under two weeks. Did the same thing with DS (2), he is now completely trained. Took maybe 6 days. Although had to switch because he did not particularly care for M&M's, he likes skittles. I know some parents might have an adversity to giving their kids candy, but I found it to be worth it for the 1 or 2 weeks it took to train.

 

[v.t.]

A suggestion for those who have bed wetters (or babies). Make the bed twice. Put a mattress pad and a fitted sheet on the bed and then place a water-proof mattress pad and another fitted sheet on top of the first. Have an extra top sheet under the bed or nearby. When the sheets are wet during the night you only have to remove the top layer and then cover with a clean sheet. It only takes seconds, the child is back in their clean bed and everyone can go to sleep.
Good Luck! (They do grow out of it, I promise.)

 

[LydiaAch]

I am seriously at my wits end. My dd will be 4 May 29 and while completely #1 trained, will not do #2 in the potty. We went out of town a few weeks ago and she did everything in the potty for about 5 days, so I know she can, but now back home, we are back to in the panties every day! I have tried reward charts, candy, etc. I have also, against most parenting books tried punishment. Luke today, she wanted to go into a store. I would not let her and explained that since she had soiled herself in the car, she could not go into the store. (Don't worry, I did not go in either. ) I have also tried turning over the process of cleaning herself up to her, but that really does not work as she really cannot tell if she has cleaned herself well. She does not have accidents at school or usually in public, but 99% of the time at home. There is no fear or aversion, so I do not know what to do! I have potty trained her 2 big brothers, so what gives?? She is very smart and on target developmentally. Any suggestions would be appreciated!
Alicia

I could have written this post a few weeks ago. WORD FOR WORD. After a few #2 accidents at school her teacher told me DD would not be able to return to school (in a very nice way-I absolutely adore her teacher). Well, that's all it took. There have been no poop accidents since. That was a month ago. DD turned 4 2 weeks ago.

I was very, very concerned and had even called the ped a couple of times. The ped basically said it was her way of exerting control over me, there is nothing physically wrong and she will go when she is ready.

Doesn't it figure-I hadn't even brought up PT with DS2 and he is ALL ABOUT it!!

 

[Mommy2JulietJocelyn]

My DD who also had constipation issues would not go #2 in the potty only panties also, #1 was in the potty since she decided to wear panties. we tried EVERYTHING including some of the suggestions here - what worked - no lie was a song - "The Poopsmith Song" by Over the RHine I found out about it on Preston & STeve's morning show on MMR on my way home from work. I found in on a CD called "For the Kids Three" It is all about where poop goes and where it does NOT go. It is very funny. And DD2 started requesting it be played daily and then she would go #2.

 

[Mallow]

A suggestion for those who have bed wetters (or babies). Make the bed twice. Put a mattress pad and a fitted sheet on the bed and then place a water-proof mattress pad and another fitted sheet on top of the first. Have an extra top sheet under the bed or nearby. When the sheets are wet during the night you only have to remove the top layer and then cover with a clean sheet. It only takes seconds, the child is back in their clean bed and everyone can go to sleep.
Good Luck! (They do grow out of it, I promise.)

That's a very good idea, I'm going to try it. And I'll hold you to your promise.

 

[1stWDW]

I too had a late "pooper". I was successful with a combo of the ideas already listed. What I eventually noticed was that he usually pooped after dinner time. So after dinner I would put him on the potty, while I read him books. He probably enjoyed the one on one time with me.(This could eliminate the issue that your DD may be getting attention from you during the clean up process) Some days he would eventually go and other times we just read many books. He then progressed to telling me when he felt like he was going to go, and I would still read him a book in the bathroom. Eventually I just left some books in the bathroom and he started to go on his own.

 

[badblackpug]

We didn't have the same issue as the OP, but we had the issue of not wanting to stop what he/she was doing to go to the bathroom, and then it was too late! The "do it yourself" method worked very well, and I think it would for the OP, too. The point of it is to make the "accident" entirely the child's responsibility, and make it NO fun at all! The key is to remain completely detached, don't get upset, and don't pay much attention to it. When the accident occurs make the child stop all activities (TV, toys, whatever) and go to the bathroom. Make them take off, rinse out, and spot treat the soiled garments themselves. Then make them take a COMPLETE bath. (no toys in the tub!) Make them do as much for themselves as possible. If you need to help make it short, sweet, and as matter of fact as possible, with little discussion or interaction. As another poster said, make them wait in the bathroom until you have the "time" to help. Then make the child clean up the bathroom. Then make him/her put the soiled clothes in the washer start the washer and make him/her wait until the washer is done, and then put the clothes in the dryer, and wait until the dryer is complete. Then make the child put the clothes away before returning to any activities. All this has to be done with as little attention and discussion as possible. Continue on with your own activities, basically ignore the child, do NOT discuss the incident.

Also curtail any other activities. If the child asks to go somewhere or do something, reply with, "Sorry, we/you can't. If you have an accident there is nowhere for you to get cleaned up." Missing out on fun or being stuck in the house enough will give them the idea. Just remember to remain calm, don't make it an attention thing or a power struggle. Act like it doesn't matter to you.

 

[Kimmumum]

My DS#1 was able to be trained but had no desire. When he was 3 we had him in "ugly" undies. He wanted the "special" ones. We went to Disney and I bought a pack of Mickey Mouse underwear. When we got home I told him that Mickey gave them to me but he could not wear them until he was trained. The next day he was clean all day. I gave him the undies the next day and he NEVER had another accident. You need to just figure out what she really wants.

A friend of mine knew what toy her son wanted. She bought and put it where he could see it but he couldn't touch it or play with it until he was clean for X amount of days. Worked like a charm!!