Phone etiquette

[tvguy]

This is an interesting article. Suggests you never call someone without texting first. Also suggests you never leave a voicemail. And suggests you never actually need to answer your phone.

Not sure I agree. And assumes the number you are calling is a cell phone or VoIP capable of receiving texts.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/09/25/cell-phone-etiquette-call-voicemail/

 

[willowsnn3]

This is an interesting article. Suggests you never call someone without texting first. Also suggests you never leave a voicemail. And suggests you never actually need to answer your phone.

Not sure I agree. And assumes the number you are calling is a cell phone or VoIP capable of receiving texts.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/09/25/cell-phone-etiquette-call-voicemail/

For close family I usually just text, there only a few people I call just to talk awhile with but I don't text first, lol.
I rarely answer my phone from unknown numbers but I do listen to my voicemail.
I really wish people would listen to their voicemails. At work I have to make scheduling calls. These are not cold calls, but calls to people who have paid online for a service that has to be scheduled. I make the call, when no answer I leave a message with all the information they need. Few minutes later I get a call & the first thing they say: "I have a missed call from this number". So I have to go over everything again & they still have to think about it & usually have to call back later. If they would just listen to their messages at least they could be prepared when they call back.

 

[NYCgrrl]

I’m a Chatty Cathy and personal communiques are generally via phone.
Sometimes I’m communicating to different time zones so that tends to be texting; emails rarely happen anymore.

 

[Smugpugmug]

Outside of family and friends, I never answer the phone. If it's important, they'll leave a voicemail.

I text or video chat friends and family most of the time.

 

[amcnj]

I wasn’t able to open the article, but these days I do text and email more than use the phone. However, I still have no other option for a few people without internet/smart phone access.

 

[disykat]

I have always had trouble with cold calling people. Now I'm literally afraid to cold call people, including my own adult kids. It seems you have to text and ask permission to call. Since I have young adult kids I learned long ago that people under 35 (?) don't check their voice mail.

 

[tvguy]

For close family I usually just text, there only a few people I call just to talk awhile with but I don't text first, lol.
I rarely answer my phone from unknown numbers but I do listen to my voicemail.
I really wish people would listen to their voicemails. At work I have to make scheduling calls. These are not cold calls, but calls to people who have paid online for a service that has to be scheduled. I make the call, when no answer I leave a message with all the information they need. Few minutes later I get a call & the first thing they say: "I have a missed call from this number". So I have to go over everything again & they still have to think about it & usually have to call back later. If they would just listen to their messages at least they could be prepared when they call back.

I used to hated those "I have a missed call from this number" when I was working. Individual extensions were not shown for privacy reasons, just the main switch board number so that went to the main number and we had 120 employees. I'd ask if they had gotten a voicemail, and they would say yes, but they never listen to those. My problem with calls is, most calls I get are from people with blocked numbers, usually calls from people I NEED to talk to right away like Doctors, so I HAVE to answer my phone, although most of those calls still go to my landline.

 

[_19disnA]

Article is behind one of those annoying paywalls so I couldn't read it. Phone 'etiquette' isn't what it used to be 20-30 years ago. There are now SO many scams/sales pitch calls that I no longer answer my phone if I don't recognize the number. Real/legit business people will leave a message such as the doctor/dentist or someone doing some sort of home repair/landscaping. IF the only calls I got were always legit, then I think how people respond would be different. I don't see the need to text someone prior to calling them. If I want to ask a question or confirm something, a brief phone call isn't the end of the world. They might not be home, doing yard work or running the sweeper so they can't hear the phone. Even if I call someone's cell phone there are number of reasons they may not answer. In public, there is often so much background noise or loud music playing in a store, you may not hear your phone. I don't expect anyone to always instantly answer the phone and don't have any problem leaving a message for when it is convenient for them to return my call. With caller ID, you can also tell that someone has called even if they don't leave a message. Scam callers NEVER leave a message since they know you won't be calling them back.

Some idiot calling to scam me saying I owe money to some doctor/hospital I have never been, owe back taxes or the police are going to arrest me............I have NO interest in hearing from. Many of these callers talk really fast with such a heavy foreign accent I can hardly understand them. The fast talking sales pitch types think you are obliged to listen longer if they never stop to take a breath.........nope.........I just hang up.........LOL. One of the newer ones are the callers who start by saying this call is being recorded..........I just hang up. What possible reason would a legit business caller need to do that? None that I can think of. It is a bit like starting the call by saying they are running some sort of scam !!! All of those bogus calls are now SO frequent, is the main reason most aren't answering their home phone. Robo calls didn't used to exist where they now automatically calling every number in a certain exchange trying to sell any number of things I don't want/need.

My home phone allows me to create a list of numbers to 'ignore'. Scammers who keep calling me daily, go on that 'ignore' list and can no longer get through which is fine by me. Texting is fine for yes/no type questions, but if I need to discuss something, I prefer to use the phone and talk live to that person. It is far too clumsy/time-consuming to try to have an actual 'conversation' via text.

 

[tvguy]

Article is behind one of those annoying paywalls so I couldn't read it. Phone 'etiquette' isn't what it used to be 20-30 years ago. There are now SO many scams/sales pitch calls that I no longer answer my phone if I don't recognize the number. Real/legit business people will leave a message such as the doctor/dentist or someone doing some sort of home repair/landscaping. IF the only calls I got were always legit, then I think how people respond would be different. I don't see the need to text someone prior to calling them. If I want to ask a question or confirm something, a brief phone call isn't the end of the world. They might not be home, doing yard work or running the sweeper so they can't hear the phone. Even if I call someone's cell phone there are number of reasons they may not answer. In public, there is often so much background noise or loud music playing in a store, you may not hear your phone. I don't expect anyone to always instantly answer the phone and don't have any problem leaving a message for when it is convenient for them to return my call. With caller ID, you can also tell that someone has called even if they don't leave a message. Scam callers NEVER leave a message since they know you won't be calling them back.

Some idiot calling to scam me saying I owe money to some doctor/hospital I have never been, owe back taxes or the police are going to arrest me............I have NO interest in hearing from. Many of these callers talk really fast with such a heavy foreign accent I can hardly understand them. The fast talking sales pitch types think you are obliged to listen longer if they never stop to take a breath.........nope.........I just hang up.........LOL. One of the newer ones are the callers who start by saying this call is being recorded..........I just hang up. What possible reason would a legit business caller need to do that? None that I can think of. It is a bit like starting the call by saying they are running some sort of scam !!! All of those bogus calls are now SO frequent, is the main reason most aren't answering their home phone. Robo calls didn't used to exist where they now automatically calling every number in a certain exchange trying to sell any number of things I don't want/need.

My home phone allows me to create a list of numbers to 'ignore'. Scammers who keep calling me daily, go on that 'ignore' list and can no longer get through which is fine by me. Texting is fine for yes/no type questions, but if I need to discuss something, I prefer to use the phone and talk live to that person. It is far too clumsy/time-consuming to try to have an actual 'conversation' via text.

My experience with scanners is they never call from the same number, so blocking one number does nothing. And that is if in fact their actual phone number is being displayed....many use apps to generate false phone number IDS. A friend uses one and I have had calls identified as being from The White House, God, and Willie Wonka.
Right before I retired, we had huge issues getting responses to texts, calls and voice mails to employees who were on the clock, and had company phones. A warning from the boss did nothing, so the boss issued a threat. If you don't respond to a call, text or voicemail with in 10 minutes when you are on the clock, you will be suspended. The boss pointed out everyone had a phone paired to sync in their company cars, they also had air pods and they better start using them if we contacted them.

 

[barkley]

well then noone will every speak to or hear from me cuz-

landline don't get texts and it's all i answer/only number i give out to anyone of importance. if they don't leave a voicemail i don't know to call them back (and i don't answer calls i don't reccognize caller i.d. on).

cell is only used when i'm out and about so.................maybe one or two times a month.

 

[disneychrista]

My opinion is why call when you text.

If you call and want me to know why, you better leave a message. I am not just going to call you back because you called me.

I only answer my phone if I know I know who is calling or if I am expecting a call from someone that I may not have the number in my phone.

 

[MillauFr]

They took away our phones at work and installed some VOIP app on our computers to make and receive calls. I never bothered figuring out how it works. I may have thousands of voice mails in there. Oh well. I never answer my cell phone either.

 

[PollyannaMom]

This is an interesting article. Suggests you never call someone without texting first. Also suggests you never leave a voicemail. And suggests you never actually need to answer your phone.

Not sure I agree. And assumes the number you are calling is a cell phone or VoIP capable of receiving texts.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/09/25/cell-phone-etiquette-call-voicemail/

I guess I do like planned phone calls better than spontaneous ones (for instance, I always talk to my Dad on Sunday afternoons, and my niece on Friday mornings). That way, I don't have to worry that I'm calling at a bad time.

But if someone calls me when I can't answer, I definitely listen to the voicemail. I want to know what the call is about before I call back.

And I prefer texting for something like confirming plans, because that way you have the details available for reference.

 

[loves to dive]

I don't like talking on the phone, never did even as a teenager. I text family, google chat with hubby when one of us is away from home and unless it's hubby or my son calling (they both have their own ring tones) I don't answer my phone. I do check voice mails. Verizon is pretty good about screening spam calls. If I know a doctor's office is supposed to call, I will answer that.

 

[mgarbowski]

Text before calling - yes.
Don't answer except for very few close family, friends or colleagues - yes.
Don't leave voicemail - that's dumb. The reason I can not answer the phone is because I expect that anyone with a legitimate reason to call me will leave a voicemail and I can choose to call back.
Don't listen to voicemail - also dumb, and rude. Sure, if in 3 seconds you realize it's a cold caller delete, but if it is someone you know have the courtesy to listen to the message.

 

[_19disnA]

How you handle calls in a business or professional setting is different from at home. I don't think there is any one-size-fits-all solution regardless of whatever that article proposed.

 

[slo]

In 2024, this is how I do things……

Family - I just call whenever I need to

Friends - I’ll text them and ask if they’re busy and ask them if they have time to chat.

Family - I’ll always answer unless I can’t

Friends - I will answer 50% of the time, depending on the friend. One friend is always a long conversation and many times I don’t have time for that when they call.

Strange Calls - If I can, I do answer it, so I know for certain that I can block the number if it’s a garbage call. Many times a number came up as Spam and it ended up being a legitimate place calling me.

Voicemail - I always listen and always leave one. The main people I leave a voice mail with is DD21 and my mom - I like telling them why I was calling and there’s no emergency and we’ll talk later.

 

[jimmymc]

That's an interesting conclusion from the article. I don't answer from phone numbers I don't recognize, but I will listen to their voicemail right way if they leave one to see if it was a real person. If a family member or friends calls be out of the blue, I assume something is wrong. A text first to see if I'm available tells me that it isn't urgent.

 

[Uncle Coaster]

Is there a shortened version of the “hey, is it a good time for me to call you” text? It takes me longer to type that out and get a response than it does to just call and see if they answer.

 

[BrianL]

I do not think you have to text before you call - one or the other works. If someone calls and the person doesn't answer, well, then they were busy. It's no big deal. While you can leave a voicemail, inless there is something important to tell them, I wouldn't. They will see that they missed your call. You can always just text relevant information too. There really don't need to be rules, at least for personal communicaiton.

For business, it's different. If someone calls and leaves a voicemail, they get a call back - not an email.