Phone etiquette

[MGMmjl]

My pet peeve is getting a text from someone, starting to read the text, and then the person calling asking if I saw the text. Give me a bit of time to read it and respond!

 

[disneychrista]

Is there a shortened version of the “hey, is it a good time for me to call you” text? It takes me longer to type that out and get a response than it does to just call and see if they answer.

Call you? Call me?

 

[BrianL]

My pet peeve is getting a text from someone, starting to read the text, and then the person calling asking if I saw the text. Give me a bit of time to read it and respond!

I really don't like the general idea that texts should be responded to immediately. People are like, "You didn't respond!" when a text was sent like 20 minutes ago. I don't keep my phone glued to me and I never check it while eating. I'll get back to you, don't worry. Sometimes, a text doesn't even warrant a response, but people expect one. It's weird.

 

[sam_gordon]

To me, I'll call if I want/need to talk to you right now.
I'll text if I don't need an immediate response (like 20-30 minute delay could be expected, if not longer).
I'll email if I REALLY don't need an answer anytime soon.

I'd rather talk to someone than text (I don't like typing on the phone).

I might text first if I expect someone might be busy at the time "Can I call?", otherwise, ya, no.

 

[tony67]

Other than close family members I expect someone to text before calling - most things can be dealt with in text and I may not be in a location I can speak on the phone. This seems to be the etiquette today and although I'm not a millennial its something I agree with.
I've explained this to some of my older associates - they are not friends - and they still don't get it - I just ignore their calls.

I do expect people to leave a voice message if they do call and maybe follow up with a text. Since in most cases the VM will be converted to text I am good with that - then I can decide if I want to speak to them or text them back.

Oh and just because you send me a text - don't expect me to respond immediately. I saw that apple is adding a "feature" to let people know you say their text as a notification or read their text - I don't like that at all and will be turning that off.

 

[tvguy]

My opinion is why call when you text.

My kids and I used to go round and round about that. My response always was what could be a 15 second phone call, ends up being a five minute exchange if done by text.
"Hey, can you pick up milk on the way home? <Sure, what kind>. We need whole milk. <Pint, half gallon or gallon> Gallon. <Regular or lactose free?> Lactose free. <Walmart brand, or Lactaid?> Walmart brand if that is the closest store. <Walmart is on the way> Okay, thanks, bye. <Bye>.
Took me 2 minutes to type this, on a computer, would have taken longer on a phone.

 

[disneychrista]

My kids and I used to go round and round about that. My response always was what could be a 15 second phone call, ends up being a five minute exchange if done by text.
"Hey, can you pick up milk on the way home? <Sure, what kind>. We need whole milk. <Pint, half gallon or gallon> Gallon. <Regular or lactose free?> Lactose free. <Walmart brand, or Lactaid?> Walmart brand if that is the closest store. <Walmart is on the way> Okay, thanks, bye. <Bye>.
Took me 2 minutes to type this, on a computer, would have taken longer on a phone.

In my experience a call goes on longer because there is oh, since you called blah blah blah.

If I text "can you pick up milk on the way home?", I am assuming the person who is picking it up already knows what kind the household drinks or you could just include that in the original text "Hey, can you pick up a gallon of whole milk on the way home?"

 

[soccerdad72]

Generally speaking, when one of our kids would call us instead of texting, it was usually some sort of bad news or emergency. Now that changed a little bit when they went to college, because they would call us once or twice a week to actually talk and update us on things.

If I get a call from someone who is not in my contact list, like others, I don't answer, figuring if it's something important, they'll leave a VM. I don't have issues with voicemails - it's there for a reason.

 

[CdnCarrie]

My kids and I used to go round and round about that. My response always was what could be a 15 second phone call, ends up being a five minute exchange if done by text.
"Hey, can you pick up milk on the way home? <Sure, what kind>. We need whole milk. <Pint, half gallon or gallon> Gallon. <Regular or lactose free?> Lactose free. <Walmart brand, or Lactaid?> Walmart brand if that is the closest store. <Walmart is on the way> Okay, thanks, bye. <Bye>.
Took me 2 minutes to type this, on a computer, would have taken longer on a phone.

Or on the smart phone text " can you pick up a gallon lactose free whole milk. Any brand"

Done in 10 seconds. Here the fault lies with you as you are not being clear in your request.

 

[tvguy]

Or on the smart phone text " can you pick up a gallon lactose free whole milk. Any brand"

Done in 10 seconds. Here the fault lies with you as you are not being clear in your request.

Well, smart phones didn't exist yet in that situation.

 

[_19disnA]

I don't need anyone to text me to ask if it is OK to call. IF I am not near my phone or for whatever reason it isn't convenient to talk right now, I don't answer it.............that is why you leave a message. No one I know needs my 'permission' to call me.

 

[tvguy]

In my experience a call goes on longer because there is oh, since you called blah blah blah.

If I text "can you pick up milk on the way home?", I am assuming the person who is picking it up already knows what kind the household drinks or you could just include that in the original text "Hey, can you pick up a gallon of whole milk on the way home?"

Although because of my wife's cooking needs, we have non-fat, whole, half and half and heavy cream in the fridge most times.

 

[disneychrista]

Although because of my wife's cooking needs, we have non-fat, whole, half and half and heavy cream in the fridge most times.

Which is why adding that to the original text helps clear that up without the back in forth. Other than maybe a "Okay, what are you making?"

 

[tinkerbellandpeterpan]

I really don't like the general idea that texts should be responded to immediately. People are like, "You didn't respond!" when a text was sent like 20 minutes ago. I don't keep my phone glued to me and I never check it while eating. I'll get back to you, don't worry. Sometimes, a text doesn't even warrant a response, but people expect one. It's weird.

I always say "my phone is for my convenience, not yours. i'll get back to you when I can"

 

[NotUrsula]

Major point up front: I *hate* phone tag.

Big difference between personal and business phone etiquette. Business is pretty much the same as it has always been, and my office calls are always forwarded & show as such on my cell screen, so I know to answer with my department name. Nonetheless, if I need to call a vendor rep about something that I know will take awhile, then I send an email request for an appointment for a phone call, so that we don't end up playing tag. I'm partially deaf, so my office voicemail tells callers to please send an email because I am usually not able to understand recorded calls very well.

For personal calls, I went to the "text first" option a long time ago, which again, gives me time to put my hearing aids in first if I don't happen to be wearing them. I have the voicemail option on my personal phone turned off, so I expect people to send a text or email if they don't reach me. My phone has a screening option that I use full-time; it instructs the caller to leave a message, but I'm listening. Scam/spam callers hang up as soon as the screening service kicks in, but real callers stay on the line, so I just pick up at that point.

Any physician that I or anyone in my family sees gets the office number added to my contacts right away so that I can see that it is the office when they call (I ask them to tell me the number they use for outgoing calls.) I also like to use the patient portal, so it's simple to just have them text me to check it for a message if I'm waiting on something like test results.

I do not answer texts right away unless I'm actually in the middle of a texted conversation. I normally assume that texts are informational, and unless I'm in a situation where I expect timeliness (such as waiting for someone who is supposed to be meeting me within the hour) then I don't always check texts. I also have my phone set to flag closely-timed repeat calls and override DND for them, so my family knows that if they need to reach me even if they are not using their own phone or if it is the middle of the night, to call twice within 5 minutes and I'm guaranteed to pick up the second time.

PS: I use voice-to-text all the time. Simple way to get around typing out a long sentence.

 

[tvguy]

Any physician that I or anyone in my family sees gets the office number added to my contacts right away so that I can see that it is the office when they call (I ask them to tell me the number they use for outgoing calls.) I also like to use the patient portal, so it's simple to just have them text me to check it for a message if I'm waiting on something like test results.

As I think I mentioned, I discovered in the past few years as I have gotten older and needed more medical tests, many medical professionals call from numbers that are blocked. So having the number in my phone does not good as it is not revealed.