Pets as you empty nest?

[LuvOrlando]

How do people manage pets as you empty nest and downsize, move and change?

We haven't gotten a new pet yet because of the aversion of losing another pet, there is some PTSD from the way it happened a few years back plus having a pet means you need to have people to rely on for care and we are in a new place so I don't have that sort of network here. Still, I'm finding myself miserable not having a dog to snuggle, I do love cats too but pregnancy made me allergic so it seems like a dog is the answer and maybe a teeny dog so I can easily bring it on a plane. Our first dog was a Papillion, maybe another now, wondering what tiny dogs travel best and please keep in mind I am disabled so it needs to be a tiny fluff I can manage and lift safely for me and for them.

 

[kdonnel]

Our dog Hershey died over a year ago.

I have really been enjoying the pet free lifestyle. When we want to go somewhere we don't have to find someone to watch the dog. We can stay places later or change our plans as we want without worry that the dog has been in the house too long without a bathroom break.

My plan is to get my dog fix through my neighbors dogs. I can visit and leave.

 

[Southernmiss]

Maybe you could foster a dog through a local shelter.

We had a dog and cat when our 4 children were small. When the pets were gone, it was too much to add pet care to all that we did with our 4 kids so we never added another pet.

A son came home from college with a cat for 2 years, we miss some things about her being home, but we also like the freedom of travel without worrying about pets.

A few neighborhood cats pass through, or stop and sleep a while on our deck, and we enjoy seeing them in the yard but that's enough for us right now.

 

[NYCgrrl]

Our pet bird (or were we his pets?) transitioned into our downsized life nicely. There was space for his bird palace, he ate regularly, throwing what he didn’t want to the other side of the room (literally) and returned to Manhattan to domineer whatever other animals (no dogs or cats) the vet boarded while we vacationed.

I’m sorry he’s gone and he’ll never be replaced.

 

[Christine]

My coworker traveled frequently with her Boston Terrior so there's a consideration.

We had a similar thread here about this a few months ago. As I said there, anyone person who is older and is considering a new dog, try to avoid a puppy unless you have solid back up care plans should you pre-decease your pet. This is a real problem out there. And keep in mind that small dogs tend to live the longest. Not always, but the generally have longer lifespans than a large dog. My coworker's Boston lived to age 18.

Get a pet that you can reasonably care for through its lifespan. There are a good number of middle aged dogs just waiting for a home.

 

[White Cat]

Our dog is very small and a frequent flier. Has been to Maine, New Brunswick, Fla and NYC just this month alone. Put her in a carrier and under the seat. She knows the deal by now.

 

[cabanafrau]

Our dog Hershey died over a year ago.

I have really been enjoying the pet free lifestyle. When we want to go somewhere we don't have to find someone to watch the dog. We can stay places later or change our plans as we want without worry that the dog has been in the house too long without a bathroom break.

My plan is to get my dog fix through my neighbors dogs. I can visit and leave.

The neighbor plan is solid, but we take it a step further. Several of our neighbors' dogs are used to spending time visiting in our yard. Most come with their owners, but there are a couple who are even allowed to visit without their owners. One next door got a tiny tidbit of leftover salmon a few summers back and now makes it a point to pay special attention when we're grilling. She will not budge from her vantage point when she smells salmon cooking now.

 

[disneyseniors]

OP: My husband and I are going through the same thing. We miss our bichon freise so much and frequently think of getting another bichon or similar dog. We go back and forth on the pros and cons and haven't decided yet. We live in a very cold, snowy climate and taking the dog out to potty is not fun for either the dog or us, LOL. We have a lot of ticks in our wooded area which find their way to the dog, even though he had tick medicine to prevent it.
Then we like to travel more and would have to find someone to watch our dog.
On the other side, we love, love having a pet dog. Ours was small enough to carry to the vet and easy to handle. We love and miss him sitting on our laps and snuggling in. He slept in our bedroom in his little corner niche. He was constant companionship to us and we really miss having one like him.

So, I don't know what to do either. We are still talking about it but have done nothing yet. We would get another smaller dog that is easy to care for. We would get an older dog because we are both older too and don't want to go through another puppy.

I guess I haven't been much help but wanted to let you know you are not alone in this decision. Good luck!

 

[Praying Colonel]

We officially became empty nesters in 2010. Our dog died in 2018. We travel a lot and plan on traveling even more after I retire, so we're not going to get another pet anytime soon. We'll probably get another dog after we settle down.

 

[Kitty 34]

We have been empty nesters for about 12 years now. The last of our five cats died the summer of 2020. I loved when we had our cats but I've loved not having pets. We do have two neighborhood cats that visit us every day.....that's cats enough.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Our last dog passed away 16 years ago when we were in our 60's. No more since then, too much responsibility and restrictions.

 

[disykat]

I had always said we weren't getting another dog as empty nesters. Then my dog died right before our youngest left for college. We lasted 6 months. So we are in early retirement now and have a 12+year old dog. (We're not exactly sure of her age because she's a rescue.) I'm going to try REALLY, REALLY hard not to get another pet after she passes.

For example, we're helping one of our sons move this weekend. We will have the dog with us since we'll be gone overnight and will have to watch out for her as we go in and out of both houses. She'll probably spend a good part of the time in her crate, but she'll be happier with us. We don't like to board her because of her anxieties (and the expense) but finding someone to stay with her is also hard and expensive.

We will be sad without a pet, but we really need to be able to enjoy the flexibility of retirement. Especially now that she can't walk as far, even a quick trip to the beach is hard. I'm looking forward to no caregiving responsibilities at some point and she's kind of a lot of work considering I also have people I'm looking out for.

 

[Chili327]

the aversion of losing another pet

Don't let it keep you from getting another. You will be so happy with a new pet faster than you can imagine. The loss always hurts, but that just means you got years of great times for you and the pet.

BUT going petless does make it easy to take vacations, etc, so having a good boarding house available (or good friends/neighbors) helps.

 

[disneychrista]

This is the first time I have been in a completely pet free home in over 20 years, now that my daughter has moved out and I am a newly empty nester. I am looking into getting a kitten.

 

[disykat]

We used to do pet vacation trades with another family, but that was back when we were both taking one or two family trips a year and had dogs that literally grew up doing that and knew all of us. Now they have two BIG dogs and we have one very anxious/traumatized from her past small dog it doesn't work as well.

My siblings, who are also retired, take turns coming up to be near mom (who lives in memory care) and as a side benefit watch our dog for long planned lengthier trips, but that doesn't work for "let's take a quick trip for a day or two to..."

 

[Christine]

We used to do pet vacation trades with another family, but that was back when we were both taking one or two family trips a year and had dogs that literally grew up doing that and knew all of us. Now they have two BIG dogs and we have one very anxious/traumatized from her past small dog it doesn't work as well.

My siblings, who are also retired, take turns coming up to be near mom (who lives in memory care) and as a side benefit watch our dog for long planned lengthier trips, but that doesn't work for "let's take a quick trip for a day or two to..."

Yeah, the dog sitting thing is tough. My one dog passed in 2018 and she was almost 18 years old. The last few years with her were rough and I didn't go anywhere because I would not board her. I had a friend who was very good with aging animals and I did get a Disney trip in right before she died. I said "never again" and then 8 months later I got another dog. Just having the one dog was good. She was very well behaved and my neighbor was enjoying having her when I went a few places. I was even able to manage a beach trip and find a dog-friendly house.

Then my stupid self decided to foster another dog for the short-term. I had actually done this two times already and the fosters were gone within a week. Broke my heart every time. Around Christmas of 2021, the rescue had an urgent situation of someone giving up two of their puppies they had for 7 months and returning them to the rescue AT CHRISTMAS. One of them got adopted and this last one was left so I took her in. She's a friendly dog but was one that takes about 30 minutes to even warm up to people so new people were stressful for her. Three weeks went by and nothing (it was the holidays) and then the rescue started wanting me to just crate her up and let her sit in PetsMart all day. I knew it would be very traumatizing for her and I couldn't do it. Then they had one potential adopter call me to talk about her. They lived on a busy road with no fence and were of the mind that "dogs can just be let out." I knew the dog would be dead in about a month because she has a very high prey drive for squirrels. So I said no, took her out of foster and now I have two dogs.

It has become VERY challenging for vacation. No one wants to take two dogs (my neighbor) and boarding around where I live is astronomical. I think the dogs would freak out too because they've never been boarded. My parents stayed at my house for a week last year and that was fine but they aren't around all the time. I am against using Rover because, at least where I am, we've had so many dogs runaway, get out of the house/yard, get away from the Rover sitters that it's heartbreaking. I think many people are on Rover that haven't the slightest clue on how to handle a dog. I know there's good ones out there, but I'm way too uptight about it now, having seen what I have.

So I get that it's something to think about. If you're uptight like me, you absolutely will lose your freedom. But for some reason, I feel very lonely without a pet. I don't know what the answer is, lol!

 

[Stratman50th]

I feel there comes a point where having a dog (pet) is no longer a fit with the lifestyle. Mainly for reasons others have mentioned already. Taking them out good weather or bad. Cleaning up after them. This applies to walks but also accidents from both ends. Feeding another mouth... again. Vet visits and bills (just an example, a $4,000 emergency visit for bloat).
Then, there's a matter of boarding while you're away. At this stage, I'm ready to just pack and my wife and I get in the car whenever we want and go. No dropping the pet off at the kennel, picking it up after the trip and of course paying.
Those were some examples of many, but lastly and maybe the most important, I don't want to put another dog down. That's one tough trip to the vet, and a lonely one back home.
So, that's just us. Everybody has their own thoughts on it.

 

[focusondisney]

I feel there comes a point where having a dog (pet) is no longer a fit with the lifestyle. Mainly for reasons others have mentioned already. Taking them out good weather or bad. Cleaning up after them. This applies to walks but also accidents from both ends. Feeding another mouth... again. Vet visits and bills (just an example, a $4,000 emergency visit for bloat).
Then, there's a matter of boarding while you're away. At this stage, I'm ready to just pack and my wife and I get in the car whenever we want and go. No dropping the pet off at the kennel, picking it up after the trip and of course paying.
Those were some examples of many, but lastly and maybe the most important, I don't want to put another dog down. That's one tough trip to the vet, and a lonely one back home.
So, that's just us. Everybody has their own thoughts on it.

Pretty much MTE. We haven’t had a dog in about 15 years for all those reasons. Add in, we’ve been spending a lot of money remodeling & refreshing our home. I love that we don’t have to worry about fur everywhere or other damage from accidents, scratching, chewing or nails. Plus after working until we were 65 & 67, we want to finally be on our own schedule, not worry about getting home to feed & walk a pet. For the last 10 years we would keep our son’s dog a few times a year when they were on vacation. Sadly, they just had to put her down this week. My husband & I already decided if they get another dog, we will gently decline to pet sit again. We’re just not up for it anymore.

 

[OKW8297]

We lost our Tedy, mini daschund 2 years ago at the age of 16. We added a kitten to join our older cat. As others have said, being dogless does offer more freedom. Maybe we will get another if we can ever retire, (haha), but we adore our kitties too . And I’m not ready anyway to open my heart to another pup. Tedy was one in a million.

 

[robinb]

We have this problem now ... my DH just retired and we just adopted two kittens! We love to travel, but it's an added expense and PITB to arrange a house sitter. I am considering buying an RV and traveling with the pets.