Pete, Pete, Pete...

[simonkodousek]

I just have to say, I was very offended with your totally inappropriate comments about suicide on today's podcast. Yes, I have a VERY dark sense of humor, but what you said crossed the line.

I have dealt with the consequences of suicide my whole life. My grandfather took his life 25 years ago, and it still affects my family to this day. I am so sorry that I didn't have the opportunity to meet what sounds like an amazing man. Masses are held in his name at my grandmother's church every year on the day of his passing. I no longer go because of the sadness it brings to my family and myself, even though I never knew him. I have just seen the domino effect go down through generations...

Two kids at my school committed suicide last year. One of them took a gun and shot himself in the head (sound familiar to what you were joking about?) and the other purposely drove his motorcycle off the road and in to a forest going 90 mph. We had candlelight vigils for both students, and it has greatly affected EVERYONE at my school. Both kids were subjects of bullying... One of which, because he was gay... You or I could have been that kid... Quite honestly, I've come very close to the breaking point myself.

I know from listening to prior podcasts that you have dealt with depression. Imagine if you took your life and how it would affect those around you. It's not something nice to think about...

You may want to consider watching your mouth a little more on further podcasts... I however, may not be listening...

Thank you,
Simon

 

[lttlmc3]

Simon, did you just say that you were close to the breaking point? What does that mean? I'm sorry, but I can't ignore that in your post. Do you need someone to talk to? PM me if you need something.
No, suicide is not funny. I'm a 911 dispatcher and I've had to answer a call from a mother who just found her son with a self-induced gun shot. It was gut wrenching. She just kept screaming "Please God, let this be a dream!" She actually had to go to the hospital for shock.
Simon, no kidding, talk to someone. Go to a doctor. A statement like that can't be taken lightly.

 

[lttlmc3]

Okay, I just heard the actual podcast you are talking about. Seriously, I really don't think Pete was trying to be offensive. I'm really sorry you took it that way, but I really think there is no way he meant it to be offensive. People say things like "I'll kill myself" everyday. Yes, it can be tacky, but they are not trying to make fun of actual suicides. Just as most of the time people who say the "r" word (which I dispise) alot of the time would never make fun of people with special needs. Maybe you should email Pete and have a dialogue with him about your feelings.

 

[connie1042]

what podcast show are you talking about?

 

[simonkodousek]

I do see a therapist on a weekly basis to work through everything. I have not been "classified" as depressed for two years thanks to her help and the medication I'm now on. Thank you for your concern though!

I did not post to bring light to my situation. I simply wanted to get my point across that suicide is not something to joke about. I do not think Pete is a bad person by any stretch of the imagination. I share his dark sense of humor, and usually laugh when other people don't, but some things just cannot be taken lightly and joked about.

~Simon

 

[tinker&belle]

I haven't heard this podcast and it sounds like something I will avoid. I lost by brother to suicide. I never realized prior to losing him how often people make references to suicide in conversation until it happened. "Well, I could just shoot myself!" "He should jump off a bridge" and that sort of thing.

The worst was after it happened there was a car commercial where a robot committed suicide. Ha Ha super funny . No one really understands how incredibly insensitive it is to joke about until it affects there family. And yes, the ramifications go on for years and years. We are four years into the nightmare and it is awful. If anything, maybe your post will shine a light on this for others to think before they make a joke that they have never thought about the seriousness behind the joke.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

I do see a therapist on a weekly basis to work through everything. I have not been "classified" as depressed for two years thanks to her help and the medication I'm now on. Thank you for your concern though!

I did not post to bring light to my situation. I simply wanted to get my point across that suicide is not something to joke about. I do not think Pete is a bad person by any stretch of the imagination. I share his dark sense of humor, and usually laugh when other people don't, but some things just cannot be taken lightly and joked about.

~Simon

Simon, I'm glad you posted about your situation. My friend, Gabi Clayton, lost her son, Bill, to suicide. I'm definitely sure that Pete didn't mean anything serious by his comments, but I think it's always good for all of us to hear that our comments affect people in ways we couldn't know.

I hope that you are doing well.

 

[DisneyKevin]

Simon,

I wasn't part of the conversation or the podcast and I haven't heard what you are referencing, but I thought sharing my story may help.

Shortly after my Dad was hit by a car and killed, Glee (harmless TV show Glee) did an episode where Finn had a recurring nightmare of being struck by a car.

The first time it happened in the show, I was dumbstruck. I sat there and cried like a baby. I thought it was over and they showed it two or three more times.

I kept thinking "how could they be so insensitive? How could they make jokes about such a thing?"

After that, I realized how many times this is referenced in television shows......and I' m not talking about dramas. Karen from Will and Grace made several jokes about her or "Driver" hitting people all the time. It's a common "comedy" staple.

My point in telling you this is not to make light of any situation where someone is hurt or dies. Losing someone is unbelievably hard, but if we remove any reference to everything that could possibly offend anyone.....we are left discussing the weather and that could possibly offend those that have lost loved ones to lightning strikes.

Please understand that I am not making light of what you have said. I truly, truly am not.

I just hope that you continue to listen to the show and please know that if you ever need someone to talk to that "understands".....please let me know.

You're important to all of us.

Thank you for starting this conversation.

 

[simonkodousek]

Simon,

I wasn't part of the conversation or the podcast and I haven't heard what you are referencing, but I thought sharing my story may help.

Shortly after my Dad was hit by a car and killed, Glee (harmless TV show Glee) did an episode where Finn had a recurring nightmare of being struck by a car.

The first time it happened in the show, I was dumbstruck. I sat there and cried like a baby. I thought it was over and they showed it two or three more times.

I kept thinking "how could they be so insensitive? How could they make jokes about such a thing?"

After that, I realized how many times this is referenced in television shows......and I' m not talking about dramas. Karen from Will and Grace made several jokes about her or "Driver" hitting people all the time. It's a common "comedy" staple.

My point in telling you this is not to make light of any situation where someone is hurt or dies. Losing someone is unbelievably hard, but if we remove any reference to everything that could possibly offend anyone.....we are left discussing the weather and that could possibly offend those that have lost loved ones to lightning strikes.

Please understand that I am not making light of what you have said. I truly, truly am not.

I just hope that you continue to listen to the show and please know that if you ever need someone to talk to that "understands".....please let me know.

You're important to all of us.

Thank you for starting this conversation.

I really appreciate your post Kevin. I do see where you are coming from, and I am probably just being overly sensitive. I realize that while you cannot remove all possibly offensive things from the show, the jokes about suicide really hit home for me, while it probably didn't even bother other listeners. I guess it all depends on your point of view of the topic being discussed or joked about. As I mentioned before, I do have a very dark sense of humor and a lot of the things I find funny, others would find distasteful, so I am guilty of the same thing.

Thanks again,
Simon

 

[mommyceratops]

I heard the comment and it did strike a nerve with me as my good friends son committed suicide one year ago. (He was buried one year ago yesterday)

However prior to my friends son commit suicide I myself have made commits like "I would rather kill myself than do (blank)!" I just didn't think of it being upsetting to someone and I never thought of it until my life was personally affected by suicide.

I don't think Pete said it to hurt anyones feelings. I know I never did. I said it as a hyperbole.

I was subbing in school today and I heard a kid say "Oh you are so going to commit suicide for that" they did not know what it meant or why the other teacher and I were so bothered by it.

I am sorry about your grandfather and thanks for sharing. I now understand how hard it is on a family.

You know what show always bothered me was Two and half men. I thought it was funny, but my life has been deeply touched by a sex addict and alcoholic I could not watch that show and see them make fun of such situations.

 

[OKW Lover]

Wow - this is a tough one. Especially as one of our long-time DIS friends lost her husband so tragically. I can certainly understand the sensitivity of people to a crude remark about suicide.

But having said that, I listened to the podcast and I took Pete's comment in the spirit in which I think he intended it, just as a joke about how he, as a gay man, would consider watching sports as a real horror. When you think about it, even the premise that a gay man would find watching sports to be a horror isn't terribly realistic either. I know lots of gay men that love sports - and not just for the skimpy uniforms.

Perhaps he could/should have chosen a different analogy.

 

[*NikkiBell*]

I think everyone responded so eloquently here.

Personally, speaking as a listener, I was not offended. I think different people are offended by different things. I was not one of them and realize that it was hyperbole and done in jest.

I also agree that if everything that could possibly offend someone was avoided there would not be much discussion at all. I can imagine how difficult it must be to walk the line between being politically correct and yourself. It reminds me of a news story about the New York mayor and some comments he made recently.

Simon, I am sorry to hear that you were upset. I hope you are feeling better now. If not, you might want to talk to Pete directly via a private message to sort through what's bothering you about his comments.

 

[mainegal]

When I first heard "gun-brain-blow up", I was horrified. I can't believe he just said that, was what I initially thought. In my mind, I pictured a stadium filled with kids and a gun going off. I quickly realized in the context, that Pete meant no harm.

Today someone said that with all the rain we have had, there will be a flood. She quickly said that she should not said that. Must not use the word flood with the tsunami flooding and distruction and death in Japan.

It is indeed a balancing act between expressing using "creative" expressions and being politically correct and inoffensive.

I wish us all compassion, understanding and good common sense.

 

[WaltD4Me]

You know what show always bothered me was Two and half men. I thought it was funny, but my life has been deeply touched by a sex addict and alcoholic I could not watch that show and see them make fun of such situations.

I feel the same way about this show. I've only seen a couple episodes for the same reason. I never watch any of the drunken comedy movies either. Although, it's not so much that I would say they are offensive, I understand how other people would find them funny, it's just that I personally can't/don't see the humor. All they do for me is bring back sad memories. Most people probably have something like this, something that is generally accepted, but bothers them for personal reasons.

 

[DisneyKevin]

When I was a kid, the expression was always "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

Since then, we've learned that words can hurt.....if we let them.

I think there has to come a point in everyone's life where we have to take control of what we allow to hurt us.

There will always be people out there who intend or wish to hurt us. We must protect ourselves from them and their intent.

But where do we draw the lines when it comes to folks who have no intent to hurt or harm us.

Are we willing to censor language to such an extent that we remove every reference that might be might upset someone?

As I said earlier, I wasnt there and I havent heard what was said....but I would bet buckets of money that Pete didnt say whatever he said in order to upset Simon. As a matter of fact, I'd bet that almost none knew the story until Simon told us.

With that being said....how many of us have used some variation of the phrase "I'd rather kill myself then be forced to.....(fill in the blanK)". I'll admit it. I have on several occasions without ever thinking about people who might have had to deal with an actual suicide and I'm sure the creators of Glee and Will and Grace (among many others) never considered my situation when writing episodes that deal with hitting people with automobiles.

I can choose to be hurt and offended every time I come across that scenario or I can choose to realize that there is no intent to hurt me and let it pass.

For me......I have to take control of the situation and decide that it cant hurt me or live in fear of being blindsided by this every it pops up on TV.

I dont want to ever live in fear.

 

[daneenm]

Well said Kevin. We all have very individual stories and because of that we each have very different 'triggers.' I think we need to look at intent and, if we find something truly offensive, find ways to express our concern in ways that that educate rather than berate. Simon, I think you did this...you felt strongly and let it be know that you did and why. Now we are all a bit more in tune to the offhanded phrase many of us have used at one time or another in nothing more than a hyperbolic way.

I have a real issue with folks who come out swinging when there was no ill intent. Educate, yes...berate, no.

 

[simonkodousek]

When I was a kid, the expression was always "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

Since then, we've learned that words can hurt.....if we let them.

I think there has to come a point in everyone's life where we have to take control of what we allow to hurt us.

There will always be people out there who intend or wish to hurt us. We must protect ourselves from them and their intent.

But where do we draw the lines when it comes to folks who have no intent to hurt or harm us.

Are we willing to censor language to such an extent that we remove every reference that might be might upset someone?

As I said earlier, I wasnt there and I havent heard what was said....but I would bet buckets of money that Pete didnt say whatever he said in order to upset Simon. As a matter of fact, I'd bet that almost none knew the story until Simon told us.

With that being said....how many of us have used some variation of the phrase "I'd rather kill myself then be forced to.....(fill in the blanK)". I'll admit it. I have on several occasions without ever thinking about people who might have had to deal with an actual suicide and I'm sure the creators of Glee and Will and Grace (among many others) never considered my situation when writing episodes that deal with hitting people with automobiles.

I can choose to be hurt and offended every time I come across that scenario or I can choose to realize that there is no intent to hurt me and let it pass.

For me......I have to take control of the situation and decide that it cant hurt me or live in fear of being blindsided by this every it pops up on TV.

I dont want to ever live in fear.

Very well said, Kevin.

 

[Mickeyflower]

I have not listened to the Podcast yet, but as someone who continues to morn the loss of my niece, who I lost to suicide 2 years ago, I can definitely chime in.

Simon, I appreciate your willingness to be so open about your struggles in order to get your point across. I definitely agree, that anytime I hear someone "joke" about suicide, I step in and say, "That's not funny. There is NOTHING about suicide, that is funny"

I think as a society, we become sort of numb to certain words. While I know that the Podcast Team can't possibly know what words will hurt or offend, and what words won't. There are some things that just should not be joked about at all. On the flip side, some people and groups are OVERLY SENSITIVE to words. Nobody can possibly know what is "non-offensive" talk. Even silence is offensive.

Pete, part of what I love about you, is your no holds barred opinions about Disney. I used to be a Disney can do no wrong person, but you changed my school of thought. Thank you and the entire Podcast Team for truly giving honest information, and RANTS.

I am Forever a Fan no matter what you say

 

[Joshua_me]

I sort of understand both sides of the discussion, here.

I just listened to the portion of that podcast, and I'm quite sure that Pete meant it only as a figure of speech.

As a fellow, um, 'person of the same ilk' as Pete, I'm sure I've said something in the past along the lines of I'd rather hurl myself off a bridge than spend an afternoon watching sports.

I would have meant nothing literal about it.

And I think that's the key word here. I in NO way mean to slight anyone who has lost a loved one to suicide, and I can understand why the OP would find it upsetting.

But, I think the intent of what was said has to be kept in perspective. We've all said things we don't mean in any real way, and I believe that was the case here.

 

[disney4dan]

Very well said Kevin, about allowing words to hurt us. As a parent, I have had to try and teach my own children the balancing act of doing our best to adjust to the things that we let interfere with our own happiness. I think all of us who grew up through the 70's (or earlier) remember much more "offensive" sayings on a regular basis, part of normal conversation. Blond jokes, jokes about ethnic groups, lifestyle choices, etc. being passed as humor on a regular basis.

While on the topic, as with any other difficult discussion, I would urge everyone to educate yourselves to realities of suicide, the symptoms to watch for, the ways to intervene. After having spent the night in an emergency room with a very close family member who was contemplating this option, I thank God that there were others who were informed, and ACTED quickly on a matter that could have been devastating. I learned that night that research indicates people who have reached that "breaking point" sometimes attain a euphoria that is reported to be as intoxicating as heroin.