personality change after gastric bypass

[ez]

wow I am really surprised to see this thread bumped up I wrote it so long ago. As an update, I am still friends with this person but we arent nearly as close as we were. I can't say that it's as a result of her surgery but i do know she has told me she has had to get her meds adjusted at times because she gets to feeling kinda numb. Also she has had a lot of illness in elderly family members. So probably just a combination of things, she looks great and i think she feels good about that so thats good.

I didnt look thru old threads of mine people have pulled up analyzing things I have said about weight over the years. I think I have been on this board since 98 or so so wouldnt surprise me that theres been a few. I used to come here to get opinions and find things and other insights very helpful. I have to admit all this has deterred me from posting here anymore. Honestly in a world where we are bombarded by new diets and articles about weight I dont think i am much more obsessed than the next person, but i guess it's possible!! Thank you for the people who have sincerely replied to my posts in a way that doesnt harshly criticize. I don't know if it was random that this post was brought up from so long ago or done to somehow shed a negative light on me. In my opinion the threads are about two completely different situations with a great deal of time in between. trust me I have much more going on in my life other than obsessing over other peoples weight issues on any sort of reguar basis.

 

[NewRVLady]

I agree OP=I really think this thread was bumped by a "new poster" to somehow not be nice

I have had thoughts similar to yours about peeps I know who are over weight
One died young from Diabetic shock, and I really believe not controlling the weight was a contributing factor. Its sad-she had another grandchild this year, a child she will never know.

 

[SMD]

I didnt look thru old threads of mine people have pulled up analyzing things I have said about weight over the years. I think I have been on this board since 98 or so so wouldnt surprise me that theres been a few. I used to come here to get opinions and find things and other insights very helpful. I have to admit all this has deterred me from posting here anymore. Honestly in a world where we are bombarded by new diets and articles about weight I dont think i am much more obsessed than the next person, but i guess it's possible!! Thank you for the people who have sincerely replied to my posts in a way that doesnt harshly criticize. I don't know if it was random that this post was brought up from so long ago or done to somehow shed a negative light on me. In my opinion the threads are about two completely different situations with a great deal of time in between. trust me I have much more going on in my life other than obsessing over other peoples weight issues on any sort of reguar basis.

OP, I'm offering this as advice, but this being DISboards, feel free to take it as rude or bullying.

It's not a few posts over the years. You have posts lamenting that your daughter is becoming or is obese because you didn't agree with her food choices. You speculated on her BMI as evidence of her obesity. You are distressed that your mother became "very obese" by walking less and are convinced the weight is compounding her health issues and not the other way around. You were distressed because you gained 13 pounds and didn't look cute in bathing suits and didn't look as thin in tank tops, but you still look thin in dresses. You used your BMI to ensure everyone you're not fat. And this is all within the last year and half, in addition to the 2 posts on page 1 now and the 2 I linked above. I'm sure there's a lot more going back to when you joined the board.

Honestly, you need to stop looking at the world through a "fat" colored lens. If I knew someone who used the word "obese" half as often as you use it in posts, I wouldn't want to be around them. Are you really only posting about other people's weight on these boards? Or do you make these comments about other people in real life? I know someone who comments constantly about people, even on TV. "Oh, she gained weight." "Wow, she's lost weight." "She weighs a little too much to wear that." "That hair style is not right for her at this weight." NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR IT. Fat people know that they are fat and the rest of us know that they are fat and we don't want to hear your comments or suggestions. Especially if you're talking to other people about your daughter, your mother, your friend, etc. It is very off-putting to be around someone who is so judgmental of others, because you know that they're saying things about you when you're not around. I don't know why you'd want to give your friends and family that unsettling feeling that you are eyeing them up and down to see if they pass your obesity test.

 

[ez]

I still feel that out of my almost 1700 posts not a large percentage are devoted to the topic of weight. But you seem to have way more time than I do to research my pasts posts, so perhaps you can supply us with the exact figures. I always kinda thought of these boards as a place where we could come to discuss things that were maybe not so easy to talk about elsewhere and get some objective opinions. I have to say the thought of people spending time to weed thru my past posts is downright creepy to me, but thats just me lol.

 

[Wishing on a star]

EZ, just to say it... this is a public chat board... people do often search certain issues and/or posters.

I am not one of them, I really am not...
I am not familiar with you, personally, as the author of any of the threads and posts listed. I suppose I tend to stay away from such topics???

I have not 1600 posts, but over 13,000. posts... I think it would be very hard, if not impossible, to find one single post that was focused on this topic.

If what is being pointed out by other posters is true, I would have to agree with those who wonder if you might be too focused on this kind of thing. And, if so, that would not be good.

I am saying this as somebody who is close to a person who 'went healthy', lost some weight, etc... And, low and behold, this person is also one who is making the kinds of comments and observations. Like, seeing somebody eating at a restaurant, or in a swimsuit, that is overweight... and using words like 'obese'.

I am not trying to be judgemental at all here.
But, eating and weight issues can be very tricky, and very negative.

 

[Wishing on a star]

PS: I also wanted to agree with KristaTX that I do actually think that this particular thread is valid and interesting!

 

[sookie]

I've known 4 people that have gotten weight loss surgery. 3 of them became bitter and angry because they didn't like that their diet was restricted. I think this goes back to what other posters have said, food was a psychological issue for them that they didn't deal with, and now they didn't have it to fall back on. Unfortunately 2 of them have passed due to complications of not following the diet.

The 4th person just had hers done and I haven't seen a change yet. She is noticing that it is getting easier and easier for her to play her favorite sports, so she is super excited about that. I don't know if this made a difference, but her doctor made her follow the special diet for weeks BEFORE her surgery. If he saw any indication that she was not following it (like not losing weight) he would cancel the surgery. This gave her time to decide if she could live with the diet for the rest of her life. She lost as much weight during those weeks on the diet before the surgery than she has in the same amount of weeks after. Only before the diet she didn't have any pain. Someone asked her why she didn't just stick with the diet and save her self the risk and the pain. Her answer was that the surgery makes it harder for her to revert back to her old ways.

Are you sure that is really why they were angry? I can buy anger over loss of control. But all of them are angry over the fact that they have a restricted diet? That is kind of why people have surgery.

As someone who has lost significant weight I can tell you that I went through a time in my life after my weight loss where I felt bitterness because people treated me differently as a thin person. And I saw it and identified it. In my mind, I was still "me" - why would I be treated better as a thin girl? I should be treated the same no matter my size.

Bitterness and sadness are good ways to describe it. I'm not going to say that everyone feels that way, but I did.

 

[mom2rtk]

Are you sure that is really why they were angry? I can buy anger over loss of control. But all of them are angry over the fact that they have a restricted diet? That is kind of why people have surgery.

As someone who has lost significant weight I can tell you that I went through a time in my life after my weight loss where I felt bitterness because people treated me differently as a thin person. And I saw it and identified it. In my mind, I was still "me" - why would I be treated better as a thin girl? I should be treated the same no matter my size.

Bitterness and sadness are good ways to describe it. I'm not going to say that everyone feels that way, but I did.

I would imagine that would be a fairly common issue after losing a lot of weight.

And then the person reacting differently to them as a thin person is just a perplexed and thinks the person had a personality change.

 

[Robinrs]

Most likely in this instance the person did a Google search of the topic, this thread came up, and they understandably felt it was okay to post. I could be mistaken.

I've Googled lots of things and had non-Disney related Community Board threads come up among the first things on the list (even my own threads ). I've also Googled lots of things and had threads come up where my searched topic isn't specifically related to the whatever the overall topic for the that website is.

I actually HATE this because when I google something I want to see a fact not an opinion. Google leads us to the same stupid people asking the same stupid questions on a message board..

 

[SMD]

I actually HATE this because when I google something I want to see a fact not an opinion. Google leads us to the same stupid people asking the same stupid questions on a message board..

I hate when the top result is a 4 year old Yahoo answer that is either no longer true or was always just plain wrong. You can't respond with a follow-up or correction because the topic has been closed for years, but it keeps showing up and giving people the wrong answer.

 

[Robinrs]

I hate when the top result is a 4 year old Yahoo answer that is either no longer true or was always just plain wrong. You can't respond with a follow-up or correction because the topic has been closed for years, but it keeps showing up and giving people the wrong answer.

 

[kate_wdw]

Are you sure that is really why they were angry? I can buy anger over loss of control. But all of them are angry over the fact that they have a restricted diet? That is kind of why people have surgery.

As someone who has lost significant weight I can tell you that I went through a time in my life after my weight loss where I felt bitterness because people treated me differently as a thin person. And I saw it and identified it. In my mind, I was still "me" - why would I be treated better as a thin girl? I should be treated the same no matter my size.

Bitterness and sadness are good ways to describe it. I'm not going to say that everyone feels that way, but I did.

I think that this thread is a good example of the extent to which society in general psychopathologizes overweight and formerly overweight individuals (see the following article for evidence that this stigma persists even after weight loss: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22395810). There simply isn't the evidence that some posters have claimed or implied that overweight and obese individuals have deep-seeded and significant psychological issues. Failing to recognize the role that discrimination and societal biases play in the experience of overweight and formerly overweight individuals is pretty shortsighted, IMO.

 

[runsandjumps]

This thread has been fascinating to go through. I watched a video where a man details his struggles with WLS and he basically says that if you can't give up carbs this lifestyle will not work for you.

It is also very interesting to note how people are treated differently based solely on how they have changed.

This is different but I have had people see me dressed differently say " wow you look so pretty" because I have on heels and makeup. And I usually think that's nice but it's also a backhanded insult and it feels like they think I am ugly without all the "right" stuff.

I think some people are just very superficial and can't get past outer appearances. I guess I am one of those rare birds who doesn't enjoy the flattery. It just feels so fake.

I can see why personalities change.

 

[U2_rocks!]

This thread has been fascinating to go through. I watched a video where a man details his struggles with WLS and he basically says that if you can't give up carbs this lifestyle will not work for you.

It is also very interesting to note how people are treated differently based solely on how they have changed.

This is different but I have had people see me dressed differently say " wow you look so pretty" because I have on heels and makeup. And I usually think that's nice but it's also a backhanded insult and it feels like they think I am ugly without all the "right" stuff.

I think some people are just very superficial and can't get past outer appearances. I guess I am one of those rare birds who doesn't enjoy the flattery. It just feels so fake.

I can see why personalities change.

Here's another perspective: if someone doesn't see you in heels and makeup very often, and then one day they do, they will notice how different you look. Maybe they are just appreciating your efforts to dress up - after all, if you didn't think that makeup and heels improved your look, you wouldn't wear them, right? A lot of us don't try to look our absolute best at all times, which is why when people see us make the effort to do so, they notice and comment. It doesn't mean they think we're slobs the rest of the time, or if they do that's too bad for them! I don't dress to please them.

Similarly, if someone looks different because they have lost weight, people often feel they want to compliment them on what has obviously been effort to achieve this. It's a form of encouragement. If others notice and give compliments, it helps the person trying to lose weight feel as though they are achieving something - not to downplay their own personal goals and improving health, but when other people notice a positive change it can be very motivating.