People who beg for money - do you ever give?

[robinb]

Geez, why do I keep responding to the late night trolls???

So, if someone disagrees with you repeatedly they are a troll? That's a new definition for me. If you don't want Zmsksirt to voice his or her opinion on a public thread you can always do the cowardly thing and close the thread. Or, you can just ignore them. It's quite easy through your UserCP.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

He walked away knowing what kind of car we drive, and what kind of toilet we use (it was in our cart). Please enlighten me as to all this useful info he can use against us?

OK, I haven't read all the replies, but I would really like to know what kind of toilet you and your family put your bums on to do your business!!! (really I don't want to know, before someone sends me a nasty PM about her nasty BM... ).

To answer the original question--no, I don't give cash. I think it's a great idea to carry around the bottled water and snack and to hand those out. We do give to food banks and to charity. If I had an occasion to buy food for someone who I thought was in need then I think that would be a good idea. I would be afraid that if I handed money to a person that it would be used for something other than what they are saying it would be used for.

However , just because I don't think I would do so, I would still rather do that and be made a fool out of, than to think that everyone is out to scam me. So who knows, maybe under the right circumstances I would, even though I don't think I would.

So here's a big wishy-washy, hell no!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

As I was driving to Atlanta last fall a couple weeks after Katrina hit, I stopped to get gas. There was a woman with LA tags on her car, pumping gas next to me. She had a few kids in the back seat, and the car was piled high with their belongings. I asked if she was headed north due to Katrina, and she told me she was going to a cousins home in OH, that they had lost everything except what she had in the car--her husband was missing, he had gone into another part of NOLA to get his mother, and she had never heard from him again. They had pretty much been living out of the car, her cousin had wired her money to head north, and she hoped she had enough for gas to get there.

I asked if the kids would like some Mc Donald's or whatever the fast food was at that rest stop. She told me "Oh, I'm sure they'd love it, but I need all the money for gas." I went into the station and paid for her gas, then bought a heaping bag of food for her and the kids, and took it out for them. She started to cry and told me she hadn't eaten for almost two days so she could make sure the kids had as much food as possible--they had been eating nothing but PB&J. I gave her another $20--it was all I had on me, and wished her luck in getting to OH. I hope she made it.

Anne

I would have done the same thing in a situation like that! Good for you for being aware and noticing and I'm sure that she will remember you and others forever.

 

[Zmsksirt]

Two different situations, two different comfort levels. Give it a rest already, night after night you keep draggin this thread up just to get the last word in. I don't need you telling me what I should and shouldn't have done - I'm a big girl and don't live in a constant state of paranoia. Geez, why do I keep responding to the late night trolls???

You asked a question and I gave you an answer. IMO you did more harm than good. As others have suggested, it's not uncommon for beggars of this type to buy illicit drugs with the money they scam from unwitting victims. As a result, your money was most likely used to support some drug pusher.

Wouldn't it have been better to report the beggar to the store manager? As for the beggars at traffic lights, it is very unwise to give them money as well. If you desire to perform charitable work, you might wish to donate that money to the Salvation Army or another charity that has experience in providing assistance to the poor and homeless.

 

[DisneyPhD]

Anyway, since then, no, I will not hand out money. Of course, now we live in MI & I've never seen anyone on a street corner or gas station begging for money. They must all move south or west due to the milder weather conditions! There are a lot of shelters here too so who knows?

You don't go down town much do you?????????????

Even in Royal Oak down town you get homeless, but most don't beg. They will sit in the libary and there are a number of "warming centers" at the churchs and other places (there are a few shelters.)

Must of the suburbs don't have any pan handelers. I don't give to people collecting in the streets for causes. I don't reward stupidity. That is so darn unsafe.

As a social worker I don't give money either. When I worked and lived in Detroit at WSU I used to hand out card with shelter times and food banks on them. I used to have the names and numbers of the food banks and write letter so clients could go to them. When I see a person int he street who is clearly in an alterered mental state I have this urge to ask them if they have takent here meds and take them to a crisis center, but I never have. (I am not the biggested person and I am not that brave or dumb.)

I did have a situation where a women approuched me when I was loading my car from Trader Joes right near my house. She said she had run out of gas and needed money for gas. I did give her a few dollars (less then 5) and she left. I was going to ask her if she needed me to call someone for her on my phone, but she was gone. My guess is she scamed me, but on the off chance she didn't I would want to help someone. I have never seen her in the parking lot since (I am there a few times a week.)

 

[Tiggerlover91]

You asked a question and I gave you an answer. IMO you did more harm than good. As others have suggested, it's not uncommon for beggars of this type to buy illicit drugs with the money they scam from unwitting victims. As a result, your money was most likely used to support some drug pusher.

Wouldn't it have been better to report the beggar to the store manager? As for the beggars at traffic lights, it is very unwise to give them money as well. If you desire to perform charitable work, you might wish to donate that money to the Salvation Army or another charity that has experience in providing assistance to the poor and homeless.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Generally I tell people I don't have any spare change but that I would be happy to buy them a meal. Some people do take me up on that, and I'll go into the nearest store or restaurant with them and buy them food.

If I get any "bad vibe" kind of feeling from a person who approaches me I have no problem with ignoring them, locking my doors, etc. In fact in my young and foolish days I stared down an obnoxious guy on the street who was trying to get people to give him money and then cursing them when they didn't! And he didn't dare say a word to me!

However, I give a lot of people the benefit of the doubt and I agree with another poster who said, although she doesn't give money, she would rather do that and be made a fool of than to think everybody is out to scam her.

I have worked in the mental health system and I know that a lot of homeless people are mentally/emotionally ill and that they self-medicate with illegal drugs. Maybe if we lived in a decent society where people could actually get help for their health problems and their addictions, I could be more judgmental and send people away to get help elsewhere. But there's not a lot of help "elsewhere."

 

[Aimeedyan]

I have worked in the mental health system and I know that a lot of homeless people are mentally/emotionally ill and that they self-medicate with illegal drugs. Maybe if we lived in a decent society where people could actually get help for their health problems and their addictions, I could be more judgmental and send people away to get help elsewhere. But there's not a lot of help "elsewhere."

As mentioned before, I know several homeless or mostly homeless adults and interact with them on a regular basis - every single one of them is suffering from mental illness and cannot get the support they need.

Until I've been in their shoes, I just can't judge... I shouldn't be judging anyone anyways but especially not in this case.

Interacting with them has shown me just how lucky I am. I think we often forget that.

 

[poohandwendy]

LOL, this thread is back...it always comes back at night...

it's stalking me!!!!!