PENTAGON MULLS CATCHY NAMES FOR IRAQ MISSION
Operation: Kick Saddams Fat *** Tops List of Contenders
Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld acknowledged today that the Pentagon is studying a variety of catchy names for a proposed U.S. military mission in Iraq.
While the Defense Secretary stopped short of unveiling the leading contender among the catchy war names being mulled, Pentagon sources said that focus groups over the weekend had given thumbs up to the name Operation: Kick Saddams Fat ***.
A squadron of marketing and advertising executives have been transferred from Central Command headquarters in Tampa, Florida to the U.S.s base in Qatar, a sign that the mission to create a brand identity for Operation: Kick Saddams Fat *** is ramping up.
The Pentagon is trying mightily to avoid the costly branding errors made at the beginning of the war in Afghanistan, which was initially named Operation: Noble Eagle, a brand name that failed to catch on with U.S. consumers.
While the renamed Operation: Enduring Freedom met with slightly higher approval ratings in consumer surveys, it was still considered a disappointment from a marketing standpoint.
Of all the ideas we were kicking around at the time, I wish wed gone with Operation: TaliBLAMMO, said one advertising agency executive working with the CENTCOM team in Qatar. Of course, hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
In other Iraq news, Vice-President Dick Cheney answered critics of the proposed assault on Iraq by revealing a comprehensive rebuilding plan for the country in the aftermath of Operation: Kick Saddams Fat ***.
Under the Cheney plan, postwar Iraq would be divided into three regions: Regular Unleaded, Regular Unleaded Plus, and Premium.
****Borowitz Reports***
Operation: Kick Saddams Fat *** Tops List of Contenders
Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld acknowledged today that the Pentagon is studying a variety of catchy names for a proposed U.S. military mission in Iraq.
While the Defense Secretary stopped short of unveiling the leading contender among the catchy war names being mulled, Pentagon sources said that focus groups over the weekend had given thumbs up to the name Operation: Kick Saddams Fat ***.
A squadron of marketing and advertising executives have been transferred from Central Command headquarters in Tampa, Florida to the U.S.s base in Qatar, a sign that the mission to create a brand identity for Operation: Kick Saddams Fat *** is ramping up.
The Pentagon is trying mightily to avoid the costly branding errors made at the beginning of the war in Afghanistan, which was initially named Operation: Noble Eagle, a brand name that failed to catch on with U.S. consumers.
While the renamed Operation: Enduring Freedom met with slightly higher approval ratings in consumer surveys, it was still considered a disappointment from a marketing standpoint.
Of all the ideas we were kicking around at the time, I wish wed gone with Operation: TaliBLAMMO, said one advertising agency executive working with the CENTCOM team in Qatar. Of course, hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
In other Iraq news, Vice-President Dick Cheney answered critics of the proposed assault on Iraq by revealing a comprehensive rebuilding plan for the country in the aftermath of Operation: Kick Saddams Fat ***.
Under the Cheney plan, postwar Iraq would be divided into three regions: Regular Unleaded, Regular Unleaded Plus, and Premium.
****Borowitz Reports***
