Everyone has been so great really halping me not feel so overwhelmed! I do have a questions....it's lwa to state that it contains peanuts but not that it was made in the same factory as other peanut products right? If it is not required to say that how do I know if it's safe? I bought her some ice cream toda and the box didn't say anything about any kind of nut...but I called the # on the box and it turns out it was made in the same place as other peanut products!!! What do you do???
Some companies decide to put labels on anything and everything if even one product has peanuts/nuts in it for legal reasons...just to protect themselves. I am told that it has something to do with employees in the "hersheys bar with almonds plant covering for someone in the regular hersheys bar plant" (just an example). The companies are legally responsible to put a warning label on the product if there could be contamination. Now, I am a worry wart about what my son eats but we will all drive ourselves crazy if we second guess the labels. As long as the label does not have any warnings at all about peanuts/tree nuts I let him eat it. I just always have 2 epi-pens on me.
Oh, I don't think I mentioned this previously, but my MIL has a peanut allergy (that's where he got it I'm sure) and I won't even let him eat things that she eats because she does eat things as long as they don't contain nuts. For instance, she makes some of the best choc. chip cookies but uses Nestle morsels...she knows I won't let DS have them. I feel silly sometimes telling her what he can/can't eat because she's been dealing with her allergy for over 30 years (she always knew growing up that she didn't like PB but never knew why...diagnosed at 30). But, as silly as I feel, it is what I feel is right for him right now. When he gets older and I believe that he can tell me immediately if he doesn't feel well (itchy tongue, belly ache, etc) then I will be apt to let him try the "processed in a facility" warnings. But right now, he is still way to young to do that.
One thing that I do is bring my own booster seat into restaurants that I know serve PB (I have a fisher price on in my car all of the time) and if I don't bring the seat, I bring wipes and the shopping cart cloth cover to put over the restaurant high-chairs. I also never put him in a shopping cart without that cover. He knows why too! He knows that there might be peanuts on it that could make him sick.
Now, when we go to WDW in April I will bring wipes on the plane to wash the seat down before I let him sit. We are traveling Southwest which has leather seats to wash down. If it was an airline with cloth seats, I would put a blanket over the seat for him to sit on and wash the trays/arm rests.
We took him to a few baseball games this summer (I panicked when I remembered the shelled roasted peanuts). I brought a big sheet (the Neat Sheets they sell for picnics/beach) wiped down his seat and draped the sheet over his seat and the ones on either side of him (mine and my mothers). He was perfectly fine and comfortable. Now, I on the other hand freaked out because the man behind me was shelling peanuts and throwing the shells all over the place.
Remember, there is a world of people who are as frightened as you about this. I always look on the bright side...peanuts are much easier to avoid than soy, dairy, or wheat. So, he can't have a milky way...he can eat a whole lot of other stuff and we still feel pretty safe eating out as long as we take precautions.
Good luck! As other PP's stated, if you want to PM to discuss any further feel free!