The one thing I've learned with a food allergy is that everyone has a different comfort zone. Obviously, parents of children with anaphylactic reactions tend to be a bit more careful... but even within the TN/PN allergies I see different levels of comfort.
I am usually comfortable with Mexican foods as long as I speak directly with the Chef, hoever in Epcot the Chef spoke hadrly any English and I was uneasy most of the meal. Especially when I was told 'no nuts' and given a look you'd give a crazy person, and then dessert comes out... topped with NUTS.

So, no Mexican in Epcot for me again.
I am however, TOTALLY uncomfortable with Ohanas. I'm sure they don't wipe the tables down super (like Clorax wipes you know?) good after each meal. That is out of my comfort zone. Add in family members that may not wash up well and I get the weebee jeegies just thinking about it.
BUT I'm OK with trying Kona Cafe this go around. I called the restraunt and the chef actually took a moment to speak with me. He seem very well educated (asked if my child was contact reactive- he's not) and said they would prepare his food in a nut-free area of the kitchen.
So...
My suggestion is to go ahead and call these places family wants to go. Talk to Brenda (my Disney HERO) and get to where YOU are comfortable. If family insists on eating somewhere OUT of your comfort zone... well, if it were my family I would telling them we'd see them after Dinner.
I know that is harsh, but I have MANY family members that just don't get it. It's quite sad (IMO) that I can't trust them with my child's life regarding simple food choices?
Ok, quick story:
At Mama Melrose the Chef made me cry (in a god way) he sent out for a new container of icecream, gloved up and served my son himself. He was totally thorough with foods that were safe for my child. He even came back to the table with Fantastmic passes for us and Brenda's number (in case I needed to contact her in the park) He gave me a hug and said "Disney is about the magic and feeling safe, we'll take care of him!" We had JUST found out about Tommy's allergy about 2 weeks prior and I was still a bit gun shy of any foods I didn't make. See, I was the one that handed my three year old child 3 little pistachio nuts that resulted in an anaphylactic reaction. I'm sure you can understand why my nerves were a tad frayed!
Ok... done babbling...
Have a blast and emjoy the magic!
