Paying for the person behind you in a drive-thru

[disykat]

I feel like pay it forward doesn’t have to be immediate or even the same exact thing. It’s a random act of kindness.

I totally agree.

I'd go a step further and say that I think that simply paying for the next person's order is a lazy way of paying it forward and being done with it, and is basically refusing the kindness of the person who paid for yours. I would not participate in a chain of treat buying for people who were already planning to buy themselves a treat, but would absolutely plan to pay it forward at some point.

I do not need or want someone to pay for my coffee. I'd rather they give it to a charitable cause or help me out in my time of need. For example, if they saw me having a bad day, etc. The anonymity of the drive through line just sort of takes away from the act of kindness IMO.

 

[mrodgers]

It's that someone did Something nice and random for you. A random act of kindness. To pay it forward just means to, at some point, do something random and nice. Hold a door open. Let the guy behind you with one thing in his cart go in front of you. Let the freaking guy into traffic. Stuff like that.

The idea is those little acts add up to something big.

I don't see these things as random acts of kindness. I view them as normal.

 

[MrBellatrixLestrange]

I don't see these things as random acts of kindness. I view them as normal.

I see them as deliberate acts of kindness, take a picture of their license plate, and report them to the police for harassment. (Said in my best Drax the Destroyer voice)

 

[mrodgers]

I see them as deliberate acts of kindness, take a picture of their license plate, and report them to the police for harassment. (Said in my best Drax the Destroyer voice)

I don't know what you mean by this...

And deliberate acts of kindness I view as just normal behavior so I still don't see them as anything special.

Although the one who waved someone out of a parking lot a few months ago probably felt bad when that someone didn't just pull out in front of him into that lane but crossed over to the other clear lane and met the driver coming doing 30 at a bad time to meet them.

 

[OhDannyBoy]

I don't see these things as random acts of kindness. I view them as normal.

It's unfortunate that things that should be normal are looked at as something special.

I do agree with you.

 

[easyas123]

It's that someone did Something nice and random for you. A random act of kindness. To pay it forward just means to, at some point, do something random and nice. Hold a door open. Let the guy behind you with one thing in his cart go in front of you. Let the freaking guy into traffic. Stuff like that.

I guess it's how you view it...I don't consider the above bolded to be random acts of kindness, rather just plain old everyday good manners.

I've never experienced the 'pay it forward' action in the drive thru. I'm not sure how I'd react to it. It's a nice gesture, sure. But it is also a presumptuous act on the part of the original payor to place a sense of obligation (or not)on the folks behind him/her.

 

[bcla]

Maybe not at a drive-thru, but I do remember when I was in line for bridge toll I was told that the driver in front of me paid for my toll. I paid it forward a couple of times. However, that was back when bridge toll in my area was $1, when it's now typically $6 and there are no toll collectors any more due to COVID-19 concerns - just pay by license plate or toll transponder.

Once I was at a store where my kid saw some kids medical-style masks that were interesting. I didn't have enough cash and I wasn't planning on using a credit card to buy it. The clerk liked my kid and literally pulled out her own debit card to pay for it. I said thanks and figure that I'll pay it forward somehow.

 

[ronandannette]

It's never happened to me before. Neither as receiver nor giver.

If I was in an hours long chain of this nonsense, I'd definitely break it. If for no other reason than I want to be a d--- about it.

I can't remember ever being in a pay-it-forward chain but I may have started one once. We were doing a scavenger hunt/road rally type thing for charity last year and one of the waypoints was a Wendy's with the assignment to pay for the people behind us, which we did. It was 30'ish bucks; not totally atypical for two or three average combo meals. I suppose if I really couldn't have spared the money I would have had to decline but it was our choice and yes, for anyone who comments - it wasn't a totally spontaneous "act of kindness" in our case but I do hope it brightened the people's day anyway.

 

[loves to dive]

I'm another who is not a fan of the trend. We have had it happen at a restaurant, the server said someone wanted to pay for our appetizers. We told them we appreciated it very much but didn't feel comfortable with it so to please pass it on to someone else. I get the sentiment but sometimes it can be a bit insulting.

Having said that, I was in the grocery store one day and the person in front of me hadn't figured her stuff right and her extra money was in the car so she asked the cashier to put her stuff aside while she ran out to her car. I could tell she was very upset and a line was forming so I said don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. It wasn't that much, just something like $20. She started crying and was so thankful and asked if I would wait after I checked out so she could run out. I told her not to worry about it to just pay it forward at some point with someone else. It wasn't a big deal for me and, frankly, I just wanted to check out.

 

[John VN]

If I can afford a drive thru Starbucks then the person behind must also be able so the S-Bucks stops here.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

I would have paid it. That’s the point of pay it forward. I’ve heard of chains going on for hours at a Timmies.

Nope nope nope. I’d stop an hour long chain dead in its tracks. No guilt about it.
I don’t want anyone paying for me either. I very rarely go to a drive-thru so it’s not a problem.

This is me not feeling the least bit guilty about breaking pay it forward chains no matter how long they may be singing along to a fleetwood mac song from long ago.

Listen to the coffee flow watch the sun rise.
here comes the cheapskate I will tell you no lies.......

I won't pay for you now.
I won't ever pay for you again,
you will still hear me sayin
I will always break the chain........

 

[bcla]

I'm another who is not a fan of the trend. We have had it happen at a restaurant, the server said someone wanted to pay for our appetizers. We told them we appreciated it very much but didn't feel comfortable with it so to please pass it on to someone else. I get the sentiment but sometimes it can be a bit insulting.

Having said that, I was in the grocery store one day and the person in front of me hadn't figured her stuff right and her extra money was in the car so she asked the cashier to put her stuff aside while she ran out to her car. I could tell she was very upset and a line was forming so I said don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. It wasn't that much, just something like $20. She started crying and was so thankful and asked if I would wait after I checked out so she could run out. I told her not to worry about it to just pay it forward at some point with someone else. It wasn't a big deal for me and, frankly, I just wanted to check out.

I don't think I've ever seen that much covered by someone else, but I've personally been there where there was someone with a BOATLOAD of stuff and I had one item that was about $1. I was perfectly patient, but the customer in front of me said to just let the item be scanned and she'd pay for it while I would just walk out with it.

 

[wvjules]

Happened to us once at McDonald's. Someone paid for our $1 large tea. We did NOT pay for the order behind us.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I won’t pay it either but I would do it another day at random. But I’m being locked into a chain.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Here's my honest answer:

If I wasn't comfortable paying whatever amount it was I wouldn't have offered in the first place.

You're not under any obligation to offer to pay no matter how grateful you are feeling for your order being paid.

You can of course chip in any amount you want towards the order behind you (or any order for that matter) but IMO that's best approached when it's "I'll put $X amount towards this order" rather than offering to pay for the order in general and backing out due to the cost, it IMO diminishes the original kind thought.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

To me focusing on the perceived wealth of someone is completely against any idea of a random act of kindness, pay it forward, chain or otherwise. You don't do or not do something because you assume someone has means and therefore doesn't need your good gesture. You do it irrespective of all things and just because you personally want to.

 

[spiders]

If someone decided to pay for your order then that was their decision and their decision alone. You are not obligated to pay for the next person nor is the other person obligated to only make charitable donations.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

Here's my honest answer:

If I wasn't comfortable paying whatever amount it was I wouldn't have offered in the first place.

You're not under any obligation to offer to pay no matter how grateful you are feeling for your order being paid.

You can of course chip in any amount you want towards the order behind you (or any order for that matter) but IMO that's best approached when it's "I'll put $X amount towards this order" rather than offering to pay for the order in general and backing out due to the cost, it IMO diminishes the original kind thought.

I respect your opinion.

I did not even think that the car behind me would have ordered more than one thing since personally, I tend to only order a drink when I go to Starbucks for the most part. In the morning, I might have a croissant too. It really didn't cross my mind. I don't think my original thought to pay for the person behind me was diminished in any way since it was sincere. Looking back, I still would've done what I did because I would've rather spent that $14 towards getting my kids (students) a box of hot chocolate and donuts from Dunkin for something special.

*Edit: the kids I'm referencing to are my students.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I respect your opinion.

As I respect yours

I don't think my original thought to pay for the person behind me was diminished in any way since it was sincere.

Sincere as it may have been you elected to not follow through due to cost. You can still be sincere in your intent and yet diminish the original thought behind offering in the first place. Those aren't mutually exclusive IMO.

I am not speaking towards what you would have rather spend the money on in the first place, that's your personal preference and yours alone but if you would have rather spent the money towards your family then I wouldn't have offered to pay any amount of someone's order period.

Pay it forward is first and foremost about doing something kind for someone else, people just get tangled up in the details (like how long it goes on, how much $ is put forth, the timing of the gesture, etc) and admittedly it can be hard these days not to get tangled up so I can understand the pressure

In your case I would have personally been surprised and happy that someone paid for my order and kept in the back of my mind for the future, the drive-thru situation can make people feel pressured no doubt but most of the past posts on this Board on this subject it was the worker point blank asking if you'd like to continue the chain which elicits a different response from me, in your situation you offered and it meant my response was what it was

 

[bcla]

In your case I would have personally been surprised and happy that someone paid for my order and kept in the back of my mind for the future, the drive-thru situation can make people feel pressured no doubt but most of the past posts on this Board on this subject it was the worker point blank asking if you'd like to continue the chain which elicits a different response from me, in your situation you offered and it meant my response was what it was

If it's supposed to be a kind gesture, there should never be any sense of obligation. I certainly wouldn't object to anyone who might be thinking it as a special treat but not making that much money to accept that someone else paid something and just be happy that a small expense was spared.