Parents, what would you expect?

[Mskanga]

What would you expect your child's school would do if your child went missing between the end of school day and school sponsored sports practice or games? Have in mind that the practices and games are in another school because there are no fields in your school.
If your child was missing , what would you expect the school to do ?

The reason why I am asking is because my daughter went missing for 1.5 hours last week , I called the school after my neighbor called me to ask where my daughter was since he realized she was not on the bus and he knew her field hockey practice was cancelled. I called the school myself and again they told me that it was cancelled and she should have been on the bus coming home , but she was not.
The only thing they did was to page her in the building , nothing else.
I drove to the only other school they said the varsity team was practicing ( but that is not her team ) , the coach there was the one who called my daughter's coach on her cell phone to find out that not all the practices were cancelled , her practice was still on and my daughter was there.
I am angry at the fact that they gave me the wrong information but mistakes happen , but I am even more angry at the fact that my daughter was under their responsibility and they did basically nothing to find her . Is it reasonable from me to expect them to alert their security people and search the building? what about calling the coach on the cell phone like the other coach did or the other school to see if they were there?
I spoke to the assistant principal the day after that and her words were that " I should have gone to the school where they practice and should have called there before I called her school " . I was dumbstruck , I asked her why in earth would I go to a school that they told me twice practice was cancelled? I believed they were telling me the truth!
So basically she blamed me , I should have done something else!
I told her the next time this happens if it does , I will just call the cops from the start followed by the local newscrews reporting a child missing during school time and on school grounds , that will get their attention and also publicity so that the public know how the school deals with this situations , she hung up on me.

 

[Pop Daddy]

long post, but glad your daughter is ok

 

[aprilgail2]

Wow, I would have freaked out. But its just another reason my daughter will have a cell phone, she could call if it was in fact cancelled and I could reach her if it wasn't. What grade was this??

 

[dianeschlicht]

SOunds like a communication issue between you and your DD, not the school. I do think they should have done more to help you find her though.

 

[Lars624]

I understand how panicked you must have been!

I had an art teacher keep my 2nd grader after school to work on a project w/o letting me know. No letter, no phone call...nothing. I was in a complete panic when he didn't get home.......We ended up going to the school & couldn't find him any where near his classroom..........I was freaking out! My friend was with me & she had her cell out to call the police when we happened to pass the art room & I saw him
The teacher's response "I mentioned it to him the other day but I assumed he'd tell you" "Helloooooo, he's only 7!"

 

[Mskanga]

SOunds like a communication issue between you and your DD, not the school. I do think they should have done more to help you find her though.

You misunderstood Diane , her practice was not cancelled and she had told me that there was practice that same morning , so as far as she knew everything was fine. The school told me it was cancelled when the reality was that it was another grade practice that was cancelled not my daughter's , andI had told them very clearly which grade she was on twice , the school made the mistake , not my daughter or me.
My daughter does have a cell phone but during games and practices she does not have it with her , the coach does not allow them so it didn't matter if I called , she wouldn't answer.

This is in eighth grade.

 

[Hannathy]

At our schools they are only responsible for keeping track of them till the academic day ends. How would they keep track of the number of kids in sports and clubs and theater? they all have different schedules meet different places and change their times. If a schedule is changed it is up to your child to let you know not the school. The only person who jumped the gun was your neighbor if they hadn't cxalled you would have assumed she was at practice -which she was- and all would have gone on as planned.

 

[golfgal]

It is very clearly stated in our school handbooks that kids are not to be in school after 3:15 (3:00 is dismissal) unless they are under the direct supervision of a coach/teacher. If the school thought the practice was cancelled and your DD SHOULD be on the bus, that is pretty much the end of their responsibility. It was nice of them to page her but what else could they really do??? What did you want them to do, call the police? If that is the case, YOU should have called the police. Sorry, I think the school took the appropriate actions.

Now, if she had gone missing between 2nd and 3rd hour, then the school needs to take the lead on finding her.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I suppose that I would expect she had practice, even though they said it was cancelled. Now that dd is a sophmore, I rely on her to tell me what is going on or the internet. The office doesn't really keep track of that stuff.


I don't panic anymore or I would be a dead women these days.
Between afterschool tutoring, Band practice, Spanish Club, etc....I just chill and wait for her to call. Wasn't easy to give it up but this year I am letting go and happy that next year she will be driving herself!

 

[goofy4tink]

I guess my question would be 'how did the neighbor know the practice had been cancelled?' However, I would be concerned that the school officials 'thought' the practice was cancelled also, yet your dd was practicing. If the coach had arranged a different practice area, perhaps the school should have been notified? That would be my concern..why did the school think the practice was cancelled yet there was a practice going on? I firmly believe that if an activity is a school sanctioned one then they should be responsible for the children. And the school should really know what practices are going on and what ones aren't. What would have happened if there was a family emergency, and someone had to get in touch with their child? Not every child in the world has a cell phone, and if the school believed that the practice was cancelled, then how in heaven's name would they be able to find the kids?

 

[Mskanga]

So let me just ask you this.....according to the handbook if your child is to be picked up from school at any time , the school needs to have a form signed by the parents stating the names of the people who can pick up the child but you have not filled out any form so basically nobody can pick up your child but just the parents or they must go on the bus home.
There's no record of the child being picked up by anyone and no record of the child being on the bus....who is still responsible for the child?
Yes my neighbor may have jumped the gun , but all he knew was that they announced over the intercom that practice was cancelled and my daughter was not on the bus.
Who takes the responsibility for giving ME the wrong information ?
We were clearly told when we signed up that coaches are responsible for the kids while on the activities and if we need to contact them we should do it through the school because they will not give us parents their cell #'s and I can fully understand that. I did exactly what we were told to do.

 

[Mskanga]

I guess my question would be 'how did the neighbor know the practice had been cancelled?' However, I would be concerned that the school officials 'thought' the practice was cancelled also,

The neighbor found out because they did a schoolwide announcement over the intercom.
THAT is my problem , that the school officials also told me the practice was cancelled , I had no reason to believe they were lying to me and I am not saying they did it on purpose , mistakes happen but they need to own up to it when they do.

 

[golfgal]

I think in this case it is totally your responsibility for the misinformation. Yes, your neighbor told you the wrong thing, you called the office they told you the wrong thing, what did YOU do after that? Did you go over to the practice fields to see if they had practice, did you TRY to call your DD's cell phone. You were under the assumption that she wasn't at practice therefore could have had the cell phone on. Did you make prior arrangements with your DD that if practice were cancelled that she was to call you from the bus? People make mistakes, information gets relayed wrong. We have had many, many mixups with various practice schedules, etc. It happens.

No one is standing in the bus line checking kids off to make sure they are on the bus, especially with 8th graders. Your dd was where she was supposed to be, when she was supposed to be there. She wasn't supposed to be on the bus so why would someone think it was weird that she wasn't there? Yes, it is awful not knowing where your children are, but in this case you are blowing it WAY out of proportion. Your dd was at practice where she was supposed to be. Your neighbor was wrong giving you that information and someone at school made a MISTAKE. Let it go.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The neighbor found out because they did a schoolwide announcement over the intercom.
THAT is my problem , that the school officials also told me the practice was cancelled , I had no reason to believe they were lying to me and I am not saying they did it on purpose , mistakes happen but they need to own up to it when they do.

Let's put it this way, I have been at schools that were REALLY GREAT and some that just did not have a clue.

Now that you know your dd's school office is not reliable you need to get the phone numbers of the coaches and/or other parent's on the team to call in case of emergency like this.

 

[Nancy]

I suppose that I would expect she had practice, even though they said it was cancelled. Now that dd is a sophmore, I rely on her to tell me what is going on or the internet. The office doesn't really keep track of that stuff.

My 8th grade daughter had her practice end 1 hour early yesterday. I would not expect the school office to know that information. My daughter called me while walking to the pratice field. Seems the biggest problem here was miscommunication. If your neighbor had not called you, you would have assumed she was at practice and all would be fine. Since she was where she was supposed to be she wasn't missing. I would never call the police without first driving to the practice field to see if she was there. And as far as announcements go...kids get them wrong all the time, cause they don't listen. Neighbors kid called his/her parent said practices are cancelled. Some were, that was correct. Parent called you and gave you incorrect information.

What would have happened if there was a family emergency, and someone had to get in touch with their child? Not every child in the world has a cell phone, and if the school believed that the practice was cancelled, then how in heaven's name would they be able to find the kids?

If that were the case I would be sending someone my child knew over to the practice field to get my daughter, it is not the school offices responsibility to contact them during extracurricular activities or even know which kids participate in those activities.

 

[Mskanga]

what did YOU do after that? Did you go over to the practice fields to see if they had practice, did you TRY to call your DD's cell phone.

Yes I did , I went to the only one they said they had practice , didn't go to the other one because I had no reason to believe that two people could be wrong.
And yes I called DD on her cell phone and got no answer.

You were under the assumption that she wasn't at practice therefore could have had the cell phone on.

and how the heck do you assume that I didn't have it on? my cell phone is always on.

Did you make prior arrangements with your DD that if practice were cancelled that she was to call you from the bus?

Yes, she is to come home and call me when she gets off the bus , they are not allowed to use the phones on the bus , they will confiscate them.
Do not assume without knowing the facts golfgal , not a good thing to do.

 

[NMAmy]

By 8th grade, there's no way the school can make sure that kids are going to whatever after school activity they're involved in. There's just too many kids and too many activities. It's my dd's responsibility to let me know if she's changing location--that's why she has a cell phone. I'd have been upset with my dd for not telling me she was at a different field--not the school.

 

[Allison]

Okay, first of all, you asked what people would expect. Most people do not agree with you so now you are getting upset. That's really not fair.

Second, in our school district, the parents are responsible for their children during the time after school and before practice starts. The school can't be responsible for the whereabouts of all these kids.

So, in response to your question, I wouldn't expect the school to know where my child was. I also don't understand why you are so upset at the school about this. Your daughter was at practice where she was supposed to be.

 

[ndelaware]

I think the people who work in your school district are idiots Kanga!

 

[golfgal]

Yes I did , I went to the only one they said they had practice , didn't go to the other one because I had no reason to believe that two people could be wrong.
And yes I called DD on her cell phone and got no answer.


and how the heck do you assume that I didn't have it on? my cell phone is always on.


Yes, she is to come home and call me when she gets off the bus , they are not allowed to use the phones on the bus , they will confiscate them.
Do not assume without knowing the facts golfgal , not a good thing to do.

I am not making any assumptions, just pointing out things that I would have done in the situation. I was trying to GET the facts by asking questions. How are we supposed to know the facts if you don't tell us. As far as the phone being on, I meant HER phone not your phone. I still think the ultimate responsibility lies with YOU to find out what is going on. You are dealing with a MISUNDERSTANDING and you are tying to make it into a HUGE issue. It is done, it is over, let it go.