Parents, Stop Giving In To 'Picky Eaters'!

[marcyinPA]

One of the biggest things I have learned as a parent is don't make judgement calls about other parents. It WILL come back to bit you in the butt! Example: I couldn't imagine how a parent could not medicate their child. *snort* DS, until he learned to swallow pills was impossible to medicate. Oh, I could force it down him, but I was rewarded by being puked on! I would put him in the bathtub, wrap a towel around him and make him take the meds.... In short order, I was cleaning puke off both of us! For meds we relied on tylenol supposatories and injections for antibiotics.


I do have a particular eater, but I am okay with that. He loves most veggies and fruits. He absolutely refuses fruit juices, fruit flavored candies, fruit leathers, fruit gummies, etc. No Koolaid, no cake, not many types of candy or sweets.

OMG, my DS10 was the same with meds when he was younger. He gagged and puked every time. Giving him any liquid med was a complete nightmare!! We did the suppositories too, and luckily he never had to take a lot of antibiotics. I can't remember what age he came around, but he takes stuff like a champ now. The only one he has trouble with is Robitussin, but I don't blame him on that one...it tastes like crap!

 

[mhsjax]

This is not true at all and is only yours personal opinion. I used to be a kid who would only eat pizza chicken tenders and hotdogs as was my brother. I don't like vegetables at all now but I still eat them. It doesn't matter what you force your kids to do they will do what they want when they are old enough. Whether it's eating dressing or whatever after a certain age you have no control. It's up to the child.

I have control as long as I am the one making dinner. These kids eating hotdogs chicken fingers and pizza are developing high cholesterol and an alarming rate, and high blood pressure because of the food they eat, (my neice did this) I refuse to make special meals for my kids. I do have one that is allergic to dairy so I do have to vary things a little, but I make at least one thing that my kids will et for dinner and if that is what they eat fine, but am in no way cooking separate dinners for them. And they are not picky eaters at all, I refuse to have picky eaters.

 

[disney1990]

I've seen so many parents post questions on these boards like, 'my two year old only eats pancakes and cheese pizza, where can we find these at Disney?'

(Excuse me while I hoist myself on this soapbox...)
Parents who give in to their kids' 'picky' food habits are doing their kids an incredible disservice. Healthy eating habits are formed in the first few years of life, and when kids are only given 'kids foods' like fried chicken fingers and pizza, guess how they'll continue to eat as they age?

I'm sure many parents will come back at me saying, 'but my Johnny won't eat any vegetables, and I don't want him to STARVE'! Guess what, Johnny won't starve. He'll eat what you give him. And when he's older, he'll thank you for loving him enough to set standards for his well-being. You are the parent. Do your job, stay in control.

I'd love your opinions!

I see 25 year olds go to the buffets at Disney and eat at the children's buffet because their diet consists of chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. I raised our daughters to eat some of everything on their plates. They both (25 and 33) now eat everything -- and not afraid to try anything. My granddaughters are being raised the same way. I have a very good friend that eats peas and mashed potatoes -- those are her ONLY vegetables because nobody made her eat them as a child. They said a child should eat something about 20 times because they know whether they truly dislike it. I have not read all the posts in this thread, but I know there are a lot.

Yes, I am a parent and have been a parent for 33 years, so I know about children that don't want to eat what is on the table, but our children were not given a choice. Dinner was what was on the table and after that the kitchen was closed.

 

[mhsjax]

I see 25 year olds go to the buffets at Disney and eat at the children's buffet because their diet consists of chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. I raised our daughters to eat some of everything on their plates. They both (25 and 33) now eat everything -- and not afraid to try anything. My granddaughters are being raised the same way. I have a very good friend that eats peas and mashed potatoes -- those are her ONLY vegetables because nobody made her eat them as a child. They said a child should eat something about 20 times because they know whether they truly dislike it. I have not read all the posts in this thread, but I know there are a lot.

Yes, I am a parent and have been a parent for 33 years, so I know about children that don't want to eat what is on the table, but our children were not given a choice. Dinner was what was on the table and after that the kitchen was closed.

A-men

 

[lillygator]

Thanks for all your responses! Just so you all know, I fully respect everyone's opinions, whether they agree with me or not. It's interesting to see all of the perspectives.

I don't have kids, and I don't think that my lack of kids makes what I'm saying any less valid.It's just common sense! YOU are the parent...and it is your responsibility to make sure your kids are doing healthy things...I don't care whether they whine, cry, scream or tell you they hate you a million times. They are children, and they need guidance. Letting your kid do whatever he wants will lead to a slew of problems in the future.

get back to us when you have kids., you have a lot to learn!

and FWIW....my girls pretty much eat anything. We've been on a raw oyster kick lately!

 

[monkeybug]

I see 25 year olds go to the buffets at Disney and eat at the children's buffet because their diet consists of chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. I raised our daughters to eat some of everything on their plates. They both (25 and 33) now eat everything -- and not afraid to try anything. My granddaughters are being raised the same way. I have a very good friend that eats peas and mashed potatoes -- those are her ONLY vegetables because nobody made her eat them as a child. They said a child should eat something about 20 times because they know whether they truly dislike it. I have not read all the posts in this thread, but I know there are a lot.

Yes, I am a parent and have been a parent for 33 years, so I know about children that don't want to eat what is on the table, but our children were not given a choice. Dinner was what was on the table and after that the kitchen was closed.

 

[mhsjax]

Op, I think you will be a great parent, I was exactly like you, in fact we didn't have kids for a long time because I couldn't stand all the little brats I witnessed on a daily basis.

Some dear friends of our, (large Italian family) shared with us, that it was the parents fault most of the time and if you raised them right they wouldn't be brats. Well I decided right then and there that I would be the mean mom, they wouldn't have temper tantrums or there would be *&^% to pay, and my kids don't have them. Also I agree with you on the food issue. ther have been times when my kids have said I don't like you, I laugh and tell them good the feeling is mutual, then I had to explain what that meant. I have seen parents come on here and be heartbroken because there little darling said they hated them Big deal just tell the child you don't care. They get over it.

Now the kids are quite a bit older and we have a great relationship with them, they actually want to be around us, and we have fun together. Sorry I got off on a rant, but I just had to.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

This is not what I call picky eating. This is what I call learning what you like etc. To me picky eating is when parents insiste that snowy will only eat McDonalds or hot dogs and NOTHING else. That imo is ridiculous.

Yeah it may seem that way but for a while it consisted of anything with cheese - as long as it had cheese on it then it was okay. DDs list has been ever changing. She is not a child that will eat anything that is given to her. She will take a bite but thats it.

She did have a hot dog period - we got through it and she may never eat a hot dog again,

 

[rainydayplay]

When my DD was around 1 year old, she would eat a lot of things. Sweet potatoes were her favorite, as were differen sorts of fruits, etc. She even ate things I wouldn't eat -- two whole bowls of my mom's homemade okra and tomatoes (yuk!)

By the time she was 3, all of that changed. She is now fairly picky. If she doesn't want what's been cooked, she'll happily go to bed without dinner.

I feel like breakfast is a nightmare sometimes. I have offered her about everything under the sun (other than pizza or spaghetti) and she will turn it all down. Even this weekend, we had lunch Sunday at Subway, and I bought her a personal pizza...she barely ate half before tossing it in the trash -- and she LOVES pizza.

Is a meal cooked for her specificially? No, although when we know she probably won't eat what's been cooked, we try to add something she will eat. Case in point...tonight, Mom cooked curried cous cous, shrimp, and green beans, then she told me to fix my DD something she'd eat. Well...the cous cous, she likes...same with the green beans. Left over pork chop? No...she tried one of Mom's shrimp and ate it..so I fixed her plate with a small number of shrimp. She ate one, a few bites of the cous cous, and all of her green beans. Not a big dinner, but she ate. Some nights, I have to say "take X number of bites of this, and Y of that", and she will almost always do that...even taking more if I say I don't believe she took enough because I didn't see it. And she will say "YUM!" but still won't eat more than she "has" to. Her ped says her weight is relatively normal (a little underweight, but she's almost always been like that...) and to let her eat what she wants while she's young -- as long as she's healthy.

She does have weird moments...like she ate an entire side of button mushrooms at Longhorns one time (and nothing else we had at the table)...and her favorite food seems to be broccoli (okay...after pizza and pasta..)

The best thing seems to be modeling healthy eating choices. I gave up soda for Lent and only drank water, so she drinks more water now (still mostly only drinking water, too). She is more likely to try something different because I'm eating it. She's even took the apple away from me that I was eating the other day so she could eat it.

I was a picky eater as a child, and I'm still picky about somethings. However, I am more adventurous than my mother now, and we enjoy going out to new places and trying new things together...and we drag my DD along and encourage her to try new and interesting things as often as possible.

ON the other hand...I work with a lady... Her HUSBAND is uber-picky. He won't eat "wet" food. And he won't cook for himself, either. He eats chicken nuggets (no bones in the chicken!) and hamburgers (patties only, I think) and just about nothing else. They got his children from a previous marriage about a year ago, and his children are just like him, except none of them will eat the same things! My friend sometimes cooks FOUR different meals. Some things, her step-son will eat that she eats. (Of course, we often reap the benefits at work, because she will bring leftovers in if there's too much to keep without worrying about it spoiling.... )

 

[disfan07]

I'm not a parent but I work with preschoolers on a daily basis...this is my opinion..

I think there is a huge difference between a "picky eater" and taste preference.

It is amazing the amount of times that I have heard from parents at teh daycare and who I babysit for that there child will ONLY eat a peanut butter sandwich. or ONLY eat chicken nuggets and their parents let them do that. They don't even try to get them to eat something else. That's what I think of when I hear picky eater. The one's who don't try anything new and who's parents don't make them try anything new.

If you give them something and they try it and still don't like it, I don't think that is a picky eater. I think that is more of a taste preference. At 20 there are a lot of things I don't like either.

BUT, if your child only ever wants peanut butter sandwiches, chicken nuggest, fries, pizza, etc and you CATER to that and not make them try new foods...THAT is a picky eater.

 

[lizandjason]

Op, I think you will be a great parent, I was exactly like you, in fact we didn't have kids for a long time because I couldn't stand all the little brats I witnessed on a daily basis.

Some dear friends of our, (large Italian family) shared with us, that it was the parents fault most of the time and if you raised them right they wouldn't be brats. Well I decided right then and there that I would be the mean mom, they wouldn't have temper tantrums or there would be *&^% to pay, and my kids don't have them. Also I agree with you on the food issue. ther have been times when my kids have said I don't like you, I laugh and tell them good the feeling is mutual, then I had to explain what that meant. I have seen parents come on here and be heartbroken because there little darling said they hated them Big deal just tell the child you don't care. They get over it.

Now the kids are quite a bit older and we have a great relationship with them, they actually want to be around us, and we have fun together. Sorry I got off on a rant, but I just had to.

You are my hero! Thanks for the kind words and sound wisdom. If we have kids, I want us to be the kind of parents you are. You ROCK!

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I think like all things a lot of it is situational. Barring any sensory or medical issues, it does get ridiculous when a kid will only eat one or two things.

I remember reading somewhere that it takes something like 27 exposures to a food before the average kid will like that food. At the preschool I taught at, we had a boy who was picky. HE was the only kid who brought his lunch to school. I really liked how the school and mom handled it. He could eat his lunch, but he had to take "duty bites" of everything the school served. One bite of each food- that was it. It helped expose him to different foods.

I think what bothers me the most is that the foods many people say are the only foods their kids will eat are foods that have little to no nutritive value- pure carbs, fried, high in fat. It's great giving a kid a vitamin, but research has shown that your body does not absorb the nutrients the same way from a vitamin as it does from food.

Again, there is a balance. Some kids will always be reluctant eaters, and there is nothing wrong with serving things they will like while encouraging them to try different foods. But when your kid will only eat one thing (barring a medical condition or sensory issue), it might be time to look at changing their habits.

 

[mhsjax]

You are my hero! Thanks for the kind words and sound wisdom. If we have kids, I want us to be the kind of parents you are. You ROCK!

Thanks, God know we aren't perfect and my kids are far from it. To me it was just natural to seem to know what to do with my little ones. We are now entering unfamiliar territory, teen years. I have to admit, that it isn't as black and white as it was when they were small. This age is truly scarring me a little.

 

[cheermom1]

I've seen so many parents post questions on these boards like, 'my two year old only eats pancakes and cheese pizza, where can we find these at Disney?'

(Excuse me while I hoist myself on this soapbox...)
Parents who give in to their kids' 'picky' food habits are doing their kids an incredible disservice. Healthy eating habits are formed in the first few years of life, and when kids are only given 'kids foods' like fried chicken fingers and pizza, guess how they'll continue to eat as they age?

I'm sure many parents will come back at me saying, 'but my Johnny won't eat any vegetables, and I don't want him to STARVE'! Guess what, Johnny won't starve. He'll eat what you give him. And when he's older, he'll thank you for loving him enough to set standards for his well-being. You are the parent. Do your job, stay in control.

I'd love your opinions!

I have not read all the replies but I will say that I agree with you and it only takes a few missed meals before they get the picture. NO they will not starve it is a control thing for the kid. a power struggle if you will, they want to know how far mom with let them go. It is their way of being in control of something and will control it IF we let them! Has NOTHING to do with being picky b/c pickiness comes from parents ALLOWING their children to be picky!

AND YES I have kids, we have 5 kids together and the oldest is 17 the youngest is 10...

I have to say I have seen this play out with our kids-- My 2 I raised them to eat what I fix or eat nothing, most of the time they chose to eat. However I never made them eat if the food was nasty or I burned or something like that. I have made some awful dishes and I never expected them to eat those either. But if the food was good and there was no reason for them not to eat other than they thought it was yucky they ate. But on the other hand dh kids was raised that they all got their own meals for every meal and they are the most pickiest eaters I have seen and they throw a fit about food and have LOTS of issues with food. When they are here food is the biggest issue they have, they talk about it and want to know what is for every meal and if they don't like it they ask ME to make them something else. another thing I noticed is that my kids will only eat if they are hungry b/c I was always into if you are hungry you will eat and never forced it, it was always their choice but if they chose to eat it was what I fixed. It just wasn't an issue b/c I never made it an issue. I also noticed that with my step kids they will eat all day long on a few things and eat when they are not hungry and a lot of it too. The issue with food with my step kids is really sad and I fear that they will grow up and never eat anything other than pizza, frozen burritos, lunchables, and coffee! Of course there are few other foods in there but that is about it. and who lets a kid have all the coffe they want anyway???

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Ok, I'm gonna have to straddle the fence on this one. First of all, whoever asked the OP why she started the thread, well I'm gonna have to assume she was interested. And come on guys, we have all seen "those parents' who do exactly what the OP is describing. So I don't think she was really out of line in trying to start a conversation.

Ok, other side: It's really funny how many parents responded "thats what I thought too until I had kids". I'm not saying the OP's opinion isn't valid, just like a PP said, she didn't expect a picky eater, he just came that way.

Most parents have to fight a bit to get their children to comply with everything from food to manners. My first daughter was actually kind of an anomaly. She would not touch anything with marinara sauce. No pizza, no spaghetti. And at 16, she still won't eat fish sticks or applesauce. I think someone early mentioned palates or something. I apologize if I am repeating info. I read an article that mentioned how taste buds change as we age. I hated broccoli as a kid. That's actually pretty normal. Childrens taste buds are very sensitive and broccoli is very bitter to a child. Then you get to be an adult and your taste buds are at their peak...and then all of the sudden, broccoli isn't so bad. Unless you are George HW Bush (wasn't he the president who hated it?) And when you get into middle age and older, your taste buds are kinda fading. That's why a lot of older people use a lot of salt. Their sense of taste has diminished over the years. So there is a bit of science to all this.
Every kid is different, and so is every parent. I think we all do the best we can, but sometimes we give in so as not to create a scene in a public place. And kids know this...they are smarter than us. LOL. None of us are perfect and we never will be. But we keep trying to do the best for our kids.
OH, and this is so off topic, but I have to mention it because it's also a study that was done after I had become an adult, so I didn't benefit. My dad used to fuss at me all the time for sleeping so late on the weekends. Now studies show that teenage girls actually require more sleep than teenage boys or adults. And this is due to the whole menstrual/hormonal thing. Their bodies are working overtime to prepare for being a woman. So I don't give my girls a super hard time about sleeping late. I'm just jealous because I wake up at 7 no matter if it's the weekend or not.

 

[freckles and boo]

OP, I was a fabulous parent before I had kids, too. I was thirty-three when the first was born and thirty-five with the second. When they went from being theoretical children to living, breathing human beings all hell broke loose. I dutifully nursed them, exposed them to vegetables, then fruits, then meats. I gave them whole milk until they were two and then 2%. As they grew older they became PEOPLE with opinions. Having a food battle with a child is ridiculous. It is a waste of time and energy. My girls are physically very healthy. They are happy kids and I absolutely cater to their tastes. They many not eat a wide variety of things but the bulk of what they eat is healthy. If you think I am doing them a huge disservice then you are fully entitled to your opinion. There are many other areas in parenting where I am completely uncompromising, but food is not going to be one of them. I recall having food battles with my mother and I will not do it to my kids. I expect them to try new things but I am happy to let them have a peanut butter sandwich (on whole wheat with lima beans) if they don't like it.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Thanks, God know we aren't perfect and my kids are far from it. To me it was just natural to seem to know what to do with my little ones. We are now entering unfamiliar territory, teen years. I have to admit, that it isn't as black and white as it was when they were small. This age is truly scarring me a little.

Oh, you better buckle up for those teen years. It's everything you fear and worse. The mood swings, the eye rolls, the sarcasm....yeah, and thats the good kids. I have a DD14 and a DD16. They NEVER went thru the terrible two's. Never threw a tantrum, baby sitters always bragged about how polite the girls were etc
They are making up for it now, and then some. OMG. It's enough to make you want to runaway and hide. They fight me about anything and everything. They fight each other about anything and everything. I think I got a double dose because I thought my toddlers were "perfect angels". WRONG. They were just fooling me into thinking that so the teenage years would catch me off guard. Sneaky buggers

 

[jamimb]

I have to say I totally agree with the OP. For some reason this is a huge pet peeve of mine.

There is a huge difference between not liking certain foods and not eating anything but McDonalds!!! My kids won't eat celery, blueberries, coconut, grits, oatmeal, or almonds so I don't make them eat those things but that doesn't mean we don't eat very healthy!

I am an assistant teacher and have lunch duty everyday. It never ceases to amaze me what some parents pack in their children's lunches. We have one little boy that not joke his mom packs nothing but cookies everyday. She swears he wont eat anything else. Well if given the choice Im sure I would eat only cookies too! I guarantee you pack something healthy for lunch and then only offer healthy for dinner and breakfast eventually he will eat!

I believe it is this kind of behavior that the OP is talking about. I make healthy dinners everynight while keeping in mind my families food preferences but if you don't want what I cook for dinner you don't eat till breakfast!!!!

 

[OK!]

my parents raised me as "you'll eat what everyone else is eating, we're not making anything special for you" as long as i ate SOMETHING on the plate, they were fine with it.

Mine were the same way. And if it was something new, we had to at least try it. We didn't have to love it, but we had to give it a shot. That rule was a little less strictly enforced after I barfed beets all over the dining room table , but to this day I'll still try just about anything once. And I LOVE fruits and vegetables.

 

[jt'smom]

this thread is so funny to me because i have a very picky eater... the only thing is he won't eat junk food at all!!! from the minute he went off formula, he always wanted lean meat and veggies, and wouldn't even snack on normal kid things like string cheese or yogurt. he's 13 now and healthy as a horse, except that he is a stringbean and terribly hard to buy pants for... try finding 29x32 pants when he is at friend's houses and they are all eating pizza, he always orders a chicken ceasar for himself. i know i'm lucky but i won't even tell you how enormous my grocery bill is to keep an active growing teen boy on his "meat and 3" diet!