Parents picking child up from sleepover (long)

[DisneyfeverTN]

I think the parent of the girl should have asked you what time she should be there to pick up her daughter. If my 10 yr old went home with someone on a different bus, I would have called to check up and make sure he made it ok.

Whenever my kids have been asked to spend the night with someone, I always ask what time I should pick him up. The majority of time they tell me that they will have my child call me the next day and let me know. When my kids have friends over, they usually stay all day long.

The key is to confirm arrangements at the time the sleepover is planned and let them know what time they need to come get their child. Since it wasn't confirmed, the parents probably thought it didn't matter. They should have at least called first thing Saturday morning to see what time they should pick up their daughter.

 

[Keli]

I would have expected the parents to call at least by about 10 am Saturday morning to arrange a pick up time.
If it were my child at someone else's home I know I would have called Friday evening at some point to talk to dd and make sure everything was going ok and to set a firm time for pick up with the parents.

 

[MoniqueU]

I had 3 girls sleepover last night. Not one parent confirmed with me that it was ok. I had 2 football and cheer games to get to today and all I heard was that the two twins parents werent going to be home today so I was to take all 3 girls to both games with me. Luckily the second game got cancelled and we drove by the twins house and low and behold someone was home. So I sent my youngest over to their house to play without asking them.
Granted these are neighborhood kids that I have known a couple of years but

 

[SuBeat]

Well, since last night's sleepover guest is still at my house at 4:30 in the afternoon, I may not be the one to ask. We've had many open ended sleepovers. Not a big deal really, if we had plans I would have said so upfront. Today, we just took DD's friend with us everywhere we went, but we have spoken to the parents and just told them we would keep her. This kind of thing isn't unusual around here.

If my DD (4th grade) were the one sleeping over, I probably would have checked in with her around lunchtime if I didn't hear from her first.

 

[daisyduck123]

I guess I'm the only one who picks my kids up early from sleepovers.

When they're at a sleepover, I pick them up by 10am...I know that my family has stuff to do, & so does the other family, & they don't need my child hanging around.

We never have kids staying at our house until noon...sorry, but we've got stuff to do!

 

[Luv'sTink]

During the summer my DS had his friend over for the day. He came at 11 am on Thursday, fed him lunch. DS asked if his friend could eat dinner at our house, I said sure. Then they asked if he could sleep over, I said OK. The next day he doesn't go home, he eats breakfast and lunch with us, then we go to the ball park to do our volunteer time in the snack bar. The friend asks if he can go, we yes but we are taking you home right after we are done. At PM we take him home and his parents are not home, I make him call his mom and she is on her way to another town about 15 miles away to watch her DH (dad) play baseball!!! I heard her ask him if we had fed him dinner and he said no. All this time the kid only talked to the mom once to tell her he was going to the snack bar to help out and then we would bring him home. I never leave kids at their house without someone being home but this time I made the exception and figured she needed to come back home and get her kid and feed him dinner.

So no, I don't think you were out of line at all.

 

[clutter]

We have different sleepover kids, and different standards amongst us.

I generally invite on nights that we don't have commitments the next day, so we can be flexible. I got caught by surprise last weekend when my dd's friend's dad showed up at the door at 9:30! The girls were still asleep, and I was thinking of things we all could do. The friend (almost 12) knew what time he was coming, but forgot to tell me, and I forgot that they were a more regimented family. I'm used to one mom calling the other at around 11am "how's the day going for you, what works for you?".

As for getting there, my dd is responsible for calling me, not the other way around.

 

[THE HAT]

When ds goes over to anyone's house on the bus he knows to call me as soon as he arrives. I always have set pick up times (which is 10am at my house).
I know quite a few parents like your dd's friends...you only get caught once in that confusion!

 

[PatsGirl]

I guess I belong to the much more relaxed crowd here We generally don't do sleepovers if we or the other family have plans early the next day or before noon or so and most times a sleepover ends up lasting throughout the next day. My only rule with DD this year is that there can only be one night of sleepovers each weekend because it was really getting out of hand I thought. I also discourage sleepovers with kids/parents I am not really familiar with -- I always tell DD to invite them to our house instead.

I wouldn't have expected a call in the afternoon but maybe mid-morning or before lunch to confirm pick-up time. I'm usually in contact with the other parent once or twice depending on just how long the playdate lasts. For example, my DD went to her friends on the bus yesterday, I picked them both up at 9 pm, her friend spent the day with us at my DS football game, etc. and when I went to drop her off the Mom asked if DD could join them for dinner/mall tonight and drop her off around 8 -- so that's how it goes here.

And, I must admit, that I think some parents go too far with the phone calls. We have one little girl who Mom must speak with her once the bus drops her off and then again just before she goes to bed and then again when she wakes up before we start the day. This is the same BFF we just brought with us to WDW last week and her Mom needed to speak with her three times each day -- sorry, but if you trust me enough to travel thousands of miles with your daughter, you should trust me enough to limit the call to once a day. Personally my DD went to FL last year for 2 weeks with extended family and we spoke every three days or so and that was fine with both of us.

All this being said, it all assumes that everyone can be reached immediately via cellphone. I don't like to have to make calls or get calls all the time but I want to know that I can be reached or can reach my DD when I need to.

 

[tiggerlover]

My first problem is with people or children inviting themselves over, we have had an issue with one of DS's friends calling during the week (at dinner time) and inviting himself over and it drives me nuts. I told DS that we do not invite ourselves over to friends houses like that and that the rule is no friends over during the week. If he finishes his homework and chores he can certainly go outside and play in the neighborhood, but that is it.

With that said, given the situation, I would have had DS call me to be sure he arrived at the friends house and I would probably call him later in the evening around 8pm. I would definitely come before lunch to pick him up too. When we have sleepovers at our house I really want the friend gone by 11 so that we can have the rest of the day for family time since DH and I work during the week.