Parents paying for college

[Disneylover99]

My parents paid all expenses for post secondary education for their four children. None of us had scholarship money.

I hope to be able to do the same for my kids. It's my number one savings priority.

 

[DisneyOma]

Did your parents pay for your college or did you pay for your child's college?

Personally, my parents did not pay for my college. They did try to help pay for books and food and things when they could, but I graduated 2 years ago with about 60k in student loan debt. I did understand when I picked a school that I would be paying, which is why I decided not to go to my dream school, but now that I am moving out and hoping to finally plan my wedding it makes me hope that I can help to pay for most of my future child's schooling when the time comes.

My mother paid for mine (state school, in the next town over, I commuted)

Before we decided to have children, husband and I talked about the financial responsibilities. We agreed that I would be a SAHM until the kids were in school, we would own our own home, and we would pay for their college education. We made sure they knew we would help them out in any way we could. It was part of deciding to have children.

My parents paid for mine. DH's parents helped him to the best of their ability. We wanted to do the same. We were able to get our kids out of school debt free. There were definitely some limits, but even if we hadn't been able to fully fund it, minimizing debt load was our goal. They had the same goal and contributed by working summers in high school and college, during school as able, and getting some scholarship money along the way. They also lived cheaply, in the oldest dorms the first year and off campus the others.

We had planned pretty carefully and had some prepaid tuition, paid our mortgage off right before our oldest started college, and increased my work hours when the oldest started college.

The biggest limit we put on our kids was that if their school required them to take out more than the federally funded loans, they would lose our financial support. Harsh, and thankfully we didn't have an issue there, but we really wanted them to know how important the financial part of choosing a college was. We also gave them a four year limit. (We figured those things can always be adjusted on a case by case basis, but were really important to consider when choosing.)

Depends on the school - glad there was a case by case consideration. There are benefits graduating from one school over another, as we have experienced with our children. An excellent paying job that comes from networking/name dropping can pay off a debt and then some.

Nope. And when I was at orientation, my dad was in the financial aid office forging my signature on student loans. I had no clue.

We started a college fund for DD when I was pregnant. I make a good living so hopefully we can pay for her college.

Whoa - you know you could contest the loans, right?

 

[sarahothomas]

I paid for my undergrad and grad school myself. I was able to get Pell Grants on top of student loans, plus I paid on my student loans while I was in school, so I now have roughly $22k in student loan debt after 6 years. Not bad seeing that the average student has $45+ after just their undergrad.

I am not against parents paying for their children's college tuition/fees. I say, if you have the money and want to do that for your child, go for it! I am a few years away from having kids, so I am 20+ years away from having to worry about college expenses. However I have a pretty good feeling my husband and I won't be able to do it for our kids. That is a huge financial commitment that I think many families can't afford these days.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

Whoa - you know you could contest the loans, right?

I guess I could, but it was 15 years ago, those loans are paid off, and it just isn't worth my time.

 

[mjkacmom]

My parents paid for my state school, and my sister's private school, plus room and board. We will pay for one year of public school for all of our kids ($30,000). If we on,y had one or two kids, we could probably manage to pay it all. However, we are a one income family in an expensive area.

Dd20 and ds19 chose to go away to college. Dd20 would've saved a lot of money commuting to a lesser school, but already has a great job offer for January 2019, when she will finish.

 

[Meriweather]

My parents paid for mine and DH's paid for his and we paid for our children's

 

[mnrose]

Paid for college and law school myself. But, thanks to MUCH more generous grants and scholarships (percentage wise) than today, I graduated after 5 years undergrad and 3 years of law school with about $15K in debt, which I paid off in the standard time of 10 years. My DH had $5 K in debt. It was a manageable amount of debt and was way less than my starting salary.

However, I recognize that times have changed significantly. Back then, by working full time in the summer, I was able to earn the vast majority of what it cost to attend college, which was then supplemented with the more generous grants and scholarships, and hence, I had very little debt. Most of the debt described above was from law school, not undergrad. Now, even if you work full time, you won't put much of a dent in tuition as it has escalated faster than wages. Therefore, we will assist our children as I do not want them to be saddled with unmanageable debt when they graduate. We have saved and are prepared to pay the cost in full for 4 years undergrad at a state college or university in our state (Minnesota). Because of tuition reciprocity, they can also attend school for in-state rates in several surrounding states. They are, of course, free to go anywhere they want, but the amount we will give them will not change simply because they choose a more expensive or far flung college. Both my children are wisely confining their searches to schools which meet the tuition goals, OR which are likely to offer them merit aid (we qualify for no needs based aid) to bring the costs in line with what we can afford.

If they do not spend the amount we have set aside (because they go to a lower priced school OR because they receive merit aid), the remainder of those funds would be available for graduate school and/or a semester or two abroad.

My kids are very lucky.

 

[aprilgail]

However, I recognize that times have changed significantly. Back then, by working full time in the summer, I was able to earn the vast majority of what it cost to attend college, which was then supplemented with the more generous grants and scholarships, and hence, I had very little debt. Most of the debt described above was from law school, not undergrad. Now, even if you work full time, you won't put much of a dent in tuition as it has escalated faster than wages. Therefore, we will assist our children as I do not want them to be saddled with unmanageable debt when they graduate. We have saved and are prepared to pay the cost in full for 4 years undergrad at a state college or university in our state (Minnesota). Because of tuition reciprocity, they can also attend school for in-state rates in several surrounding states. They are, of course, free to go anywhere they want, but the amount we will give them will not change simply because they choose a more expensive or far flung college. Both my children are wisely confining their searches to schools which meet the tuition goals, OR which are likely to offer them merit aid (we qualify for no needs based aid) to bring the costs in line with what we can afford.

If they do not spend the amount we have set aside (because they go to a lower priced school OR because they receive merit aid), the remainder of those funds would be available for graduate school and/or a semester or two abroad.

My kids are very lucky.

That was nice when you could work a summer and pay for college SO not so anymore though- my daughter is starting college in Sept- her school is 67,000 a year (and no, it is NOT an ivy league school)- luckily she got enough financial aid and grants that it will only cost just over 7,000 a year to me! The big thing people told me was to have her apply to the more expensive private schools, they give WAY more aid than the state schools and that was so right. If she went to a state school and dormed there it would have cost me over double what the private school (including dorming) is costing.

 

[tasha99]

My parents paid for me to go to college, but I got impatient and after a year, I went in the army. In later life, I finished school on my own and have significant student loan debt (mostly from grad school).

My youngest is still in college, and I'm paying whatever he can't get scholarships for, as well as most living expenses. I did the same for his older sister, but she still ended up with student loan debt because she wanted a higher lifestyle.

 

[mnrose]

That was nice when you could work a summer and pay for college SO not so anymore though- my daughter is starting college in Sept- her school is 67,000 a year (and no, it is NOT an ivy league school)- luckily she got enough financial aid and grants that it will only cost just over 7,000 a year to me! The big thing people told me was to have her apply to the more expensive private schools, they give WAY more aid than the state schools and that was so right. If she went to a state school and dormed there it would have cost me over double what the private school (including dorming) is costing.

Merit or needs based aid? My children qualify for zero dollars and zero cents of "needs" aid. None. They will be applying to some private colleges because I do know they give more generous merit aid (and my son would qualify for that). My daughter, not so much. LOL. She's a good, but not "great," student with "good" but not great test scores. I've told them both to look at private colleges where your test scores put you in well above the "average" for that school. That's how you are going to get merit aid....at places where your test scores will put you above average. LOL.

 

[punkin]

I took out the maximum federal loans and my parents paid the rest. I also had a work study job which covered my expenses and eventually books. However, things were different in the dark ages when I went to an "expensive" private school. I believe I graduated with about $15K in loans. Tuitions now are so much bigger. One of my DDs graduated an expensive private school in 2014 with under $10K in loans. I paid the rest. My younger DD is in college now. So far (she's going into second year), I have been able to swing tuition as well (it helps that she got a very nice scholarship). Next year, I will have two college tuitions, but my Niece (given her unique circumstances) will be able to cover most of the cost herself with grants and federal loans, and DD will take out some loans this year to help me split my money between two tuitions. Somehow, we will get through.

 

[RedAngie]

I earned some scholarships and my parents paid for most of the balance. I paid for some miscellaneous fees and personal expenses like laundry and a parking pass. I think my entire education, tuition, room & board, books, fees, etc. was less than 20K at the state university in the early 1980's.

ExH and I paid the bulk of DD's college expenses. Older DD earned some scholarships, younger DD didn't. Both do have some smallish loans. Both attended state universities. Younger DD still has a year before graduation.

 

[aprilgail]

Merit or needs based aid? My children qualify for zero dollars and zero cents of "needs" aid. None. They will be applying to some private colleges because I do know they give more generous merit aid (and my son would qualify for that). My daughter, not so much. LOL. She's a good, but not "great," student with "good" but not great test scores. I've told them both to look at private colleges where your test scores put you in well above the "average" for that school. That's how you are going to get merit aid....at places where your test scores will put you above average. LOL.

100% need based- my daughter is an excellent student, high honors, all AP classes, great ACT scores but they don't give a lot of merit aid at her school, more need based. The two other kids going there from her high school were numbers 3 and 5 in her class of almost 400- she was 27 and the other 2 kids who were higher in their class didn't even get any merit based aid! I retired just in time to have to have to start filling out FAFSA with my lower pension income- in 6 years it more than doubles so she fell right into that "sweet spot" LOL- No other school, state school or otherwise came close to the amount of aid this one gave her and its a great school so we are SO happy.

 

[chiisai]

Merit or needs based aid? My children qualify for zero dollars and zero cents of "needs" aid. None. They will be applying to some private colleges because I do know they give more generous merit aid (and my son would qualify for that). My daughter, not so much. LOL. She's a good, but not "great," student with "good" but not great test scores. I've told them both to look at private colleges where your test scores put you in well above the "average" for that school. That's how you are going to get merit aid....at places where your test scores will put you above average. LOL.

I would like to know this, too.

 

[mnrose]

100% need based- my daughter is an excellent student, high honors, all AP classes, great ACT scores but they don't give a lot of merit aid at her school, more need based. The two other kids going there from her high school were numbers 3 and 5 in her class of almost 400- she was 27 and the other 2 kids who were higher in their class didn't even get any merit based aid! I retired just in time to have to have to start filling out FAFSA with my lower pension income- in 6 years it more than doubles so she fell right into that "sweet spot" LOL- No other school, state school or otherwise came close to the amount of aid this one gave her and its a great school so we are SO happy.

That's great for your daughter. But, unfortunately, for us, it's merit aid or nothing. And, that's with two in college (twins) at the same time. Literally, even schools costing more than $70K said "you pay all" for BOTH. I'd love to know where they think I've got a spare $140K a year laying around, because I sure can't find it. LOL.

So, for us, we've got to depend on merit aid at mid range privates to bring it "in line" with high quality publics (in state) or they will be taking our loans, which is so not smart and so not worth it. Better to attend a decent public than end up in debt for what might be a only marginally better education. Now, if you get needs based aid, go for it, but that is not in the cards for us at all (nor most people, unfortunately).

 

[McKelly]

I will help. I am going to have my kids spend their money down first (they received some money from grandparents) and IF they continue to keep up their grades, I will help them with their final years. My DD starts this year and she should easily come out debt free. She did well with scholarships and is living at home and commuting to a private school. Her tuition is 28,000 a year, but she will only owe 4800.00 a year, if she continues to live at home. She is planing a semester abroad and wants to do the Disney College Program for a semester. My DS is two years away from college yet.

My parents didn't help. I worked full-time and went to a community college for two years and lived away for the third year. While living at home I had to pay 200.00 a month rent to my parents. I ran out of money after the third year. I didn't know about loans and planned to work for a year to save up, and then go back. I never did. Biggest mistake of my life. I will contribute to my kids' education so they don't make the same mistake. Stay and finish.

 

[Southernmiss]

I worked and paid for 2 years of community college myself. My employer paid for my 3rd year of school. But I then had 2 kids and left the stress to another field and did not complete year 4.

Dh worked through college and joined the reserves. His parents paid the difference. After 10 years and 4 kids, his dad paid for his grad school as dh worked full time and went at night.

Oldest ds just finished his undergrad then graduate degree debt free through scholarships and work study and soccer refereeing on many levels, including community college. He gets married in August and starts his real job in September.

Ds#2 is a junior at our flagship school. Has scholarships for all but $2000 a year that we cover. After next year, he continues on the pharmacy school for 3 very expensive years. He'll need loans for those. Dh and I are working to pay off our mortgage in the next 18 months to help, but we have 2 more kids coming.

Ds#3 starts at the state flagship this fall. He should have scholarships like ds#2, if not a little more. He's in the same program as ds#2. And we'll do what we can to help.

Dd is a high school sophomore. Hoping for merit scholarships for her too, so far she's on track to earn some. And we'll do what we can to help her, too.

 

[ronandannette]

That was nice when you could work a summer and pay for college SO not so anymore though- my daughter is starting college in Sept- her school is 67,000 a year (and no, it is NOT an ivy league school)- luckily she got enough financial aid and grants that it will only cost just over 7,000 a year to me! The big thing people told me was to have her apply to the more expensive private schools, they give WAY more aid than the state schools and that was so right. If she went to a state school and dormed there it would have cost me over double what the private school (including dorming) is costing.

Yeah, my sister and BIL went to school in the early '70s and they managed that way. Completely NOT doable even 20 years later when I went, which is 20 years ago now.

 

[MamaLema]

We are paying for everything. We currently have 2 in college at the same time and when they're done, the 3rd one will start. We have been saving since they're born so it's not too bad.

 

[mjkacmom]

That's great for your daughter. But, unfortunately, for us, it's merit aid or nothing. And, that's with two in college (twins) at the same time. Literally, even schools costing more than $70K said "you pay all" for BOTH. I'd love to know where they think I've got a spare $140K a year laying around, because I sure can't find it. LOL.

So, for us, we've got to depend on merit aid at mid range privates to bring it "in line" with high quality publics (in state) or they will be taking our loans, which is so not smart and so not worth it. Better to attend a decent public than end up in debt for what might be a only marginally better education. Now, if you get needs based aid, go for it, but that is not in the cards for us at all (nor most people, unfortunately).

We don't get any need based aid, either, and have two in college, and will have three for several years - OMG I just realized that ds19's program is a five year program, so four in college! Hopefully we will qualify for something. Dd16 really wants to go to medical school.