Parents of the High School Class of 2017/College 2021

[bethbuchall]

Having a hard time tonight. My DD was home for 9 day Fall break which I LOVED. She is an only child so having her home was just wonderful. And better yet NONE of her friends had a Fall Break! LOL. so we had her all to ourselves. Funny thing when I dropped her off in August (she is 2 hours away) I was full of nerves. Would the roomie work? Would she make friends? Will she do ok? She knew no one and when I left I felt at peace in August and never really felt sad I think b/c too worried about her. This time around the drop off was so different for me. I was SAD. I feel lost tonight...I guess I think b/c I feel at this time things are going well for her I can say in my head this is the way it should be and I should be happy, but I am feeling a little sorry for ME tonight. She was anxious to get back and I could tell she had her fill here at home with just mom and dad.

That's how I still feel every time my older son (and his wife!) and my daughter leave. And I felt that way after having my younger one home for a way too quick weekend a couple of weeks ago and even more so after I spent the long weekend with him and my daughter last week. We really do want them to be thriving in their new environment, but it still pulls at us how they are gaining independence. Happy, so happy for them! And just a bit sad for me...

Actually, it started that day my oldest, who had a really rough time with separation in preschool, waltzed off to his kindergarten class room without a single glance back at me. Of course, I was thrilled that he transitioned to kindergarten so well after weeks of nerves (on both of our parts), but that tiny bit inside of me was sad that he didn't need me quite so much anymore. We don't want to hold them back from life, so we keep that sad quiet, but it leaks out a little every now and then when we're alone.

 

[bethbuchall]

My daughter is not loving her college. A combination of not being ready to be so far away and just a bad fit. Thankfully she has good midterm grades because she does nothing but study. She told me she wants to come home for spring semester and attend community college and transfer to our local university in the fall. The good thing is that will save me about 12,000 in tuition.

Sometimes you need to know when to punt!

I must say it is a relief to see our family is not alone with this dilemma!

It's great that she knows what she wants/needs and has already made a plan. The savings is good news, too. Sometimes, it takes a little thought to realize that what would make you happy, is not what makes them happy. I had that kind of adjustment when my daughter went to college. It wasn't anything as big as changing schools/majors, though it felt like it at the time, and she didn't change any core beliefs or values, but she made decisions that I wouldn't have made. But she was happy with those decisions, and she's happy with her life.

 

[Sabeking]

There is a list of clubs but I don't know how many are active. I told her there is supposed to be a graphic design club- she didn't know anything about it but said time spent in the computer lab on homework is basically like a GD club. She does like spending time there. Otherwise the ones on the list that would interest her most are the Christian ones and she is trying one this week. She likes running, and there is a Glow Run coming up too. She's been going to church on her own, but it's mostly older people and young kids. There is another church in our denomination there geared towards her generation, but she likes the traditional one, it's like home I will admit part of her purpose is she'd like to have a boyfriend eventually (who's not in her major). The fire science, welding, and auto body buildings are right next to her classes, but she won't just start wandering through them despite my suggestion

My dd went to Young Life and Campus Crue 2 weeks ago and loved them!! I so hope your daughter finds something! She is in visual merchandising and found a group called Brand Girls. This has been an awesome group. They teach girls how to network, gain confidence, etc...Could they have something like that there?

 

[aprilgail]

So my daughter calls me tonight to tell me she has a boyfriend- he goes to a college about 20 minutes from her- and he is 20....ugh....knew this would happen eventually just didn't think it would be in the first 2 months she was there.

 

[laughinplace199]

DD texted us Sat night that she's struggling a bit socially. She's really quiet and shy, but that can often come off as indifference or snobbiness (I had the same issue when I was younger). There were a lot of planned events at first so the freshman could get to know each other, but now they're on their own and it's hard for her to reach out to people. She likes school other than that and wants to stay, just has to find a way to work through this. She's going to talk to her RA and see if she has some advice, so that may help. They have a break this week, so DD will be home Fri-Sun. I just want to see her and hug her!

 

[punkin]

Niece dumped her boyfriend. She's rather sad about it. I am sorry she's upset, but he needed to go.

 

[aprilgail]

DD texted us Sat night that she's struggling a bit socially. She's really quiet and shy, but that can often come off as indifference or snobbiness (I had the same issue when I was younger). There were a lot of planned events at first so the freshman could get to know each other, but now they're on their own and it's hard for her to reach out to people. She likes school other than that and wants to stay, just has to find a way to work through this. She's going to talk to her RA and see if she has some advice, so that may help. They have a break this week, so DD will be home Fri-Sun. I just want to see her and hug her!

My daughter had the same issue- that is what pushed her into joining a sorority- she had no planned on joining one, in fact she was adamant about not being in one but she was struggling to make friends so she gave it a shot.

 

[lovin'fl]

I am fortunate that my DDs are twins and at the same college. They have each other. And now being roommates too (when DD was going to move in with solo room with girl who is BFF with other Dd's roommate they all decided to switch around so my DDs are roommates and the two BFFs are roommates...forgot to update on here).

They also play a sport in college so they hang out with the team.

One DD is becoming a volunteer firefighter and has made friends there. We could not get them for fall break since they are 9 hours away and we will be getting them for Thanksgiving and then winter break. So that DD helped out the firehouse at some fall festival they had Saturday. She was there all day and really enjoyed it. There is another girl on campus that is doing the firefighting and a few boys. They sometimes ride over together and sometimes go out to eat after training. I suspect she may end up with a boyfriend via that.

Other DD is an education major and is doing a bunch of volunteering with kid things. It's mostly girls doing that but she was surprised there are a couple fellas doing it too. She is also in the honors program and mentioned a guy in that who is on a sports team too. She will be the tough one when it comes to dating. She is high maintenance and a bit bossy. So good luck to her future boyfriends. LOL!

But they struggle being so far away and having so much going on. They don't love everyone they hang with either. They complain about a girl who is always invading their space and doesn't get when enough is enough. She even charges in while they are sleeping and wakes them up. Not sure why they don't lock the door. Told them to start doing that. Anyway, they have each other so that helps a whole lot. This is a time when having twins has been a benefit.

I am sorry for all those who have freshman that are struggling. They will find their way. The good thing is, they have plenty of time to figure it all out. So hang in there...

 

[wannabee]

DS seems Ok. He has several high school friends at school with him. Doesn't seem like he is branching out too far from the known. he is home more weekends than I thought he would be. He has even mentioned that a few people will be switching to our local university in the spring. I won't be surprised if he decides to come home after this school year. either way, we are good.

 

[Southernmiss]

DS was home this weekend, the second time since school started in August. He's got a girlfriend here who is in high school and has been coming home to see her. This weekend it was homecoming. Understandable that he would want to be home for that.

I actually wish he would stay at school! He's making friends there and his grades are great.

We encouraged him to leave yesterday by 2 p.m. to get home before dark. Texted me at 5:30 that he was just now leaving our town-ugh! That means he didn't get back to his dorm until almost 11 p.m. Ugh! Don't like the worry until I know he's safely back at school.

 

[deide71]

DD texted us Sat night that she's struggling a bit socially. She's really quiet and shy, but that can often come off as indifference or snobbiness (I had the same issue when I was younger). There were a lot of planned events at first so the freshman could get to know each other, but now they're on their own and it's hard for her to reach out to people. She likes school other than that and wants to stay, just has to find a way to work through this. She's going to talk to her RA and see if she has some advice, so that may help. They have a break this week, so DD will be home Fri-Sun. I just want to see her and hug her!

Your daughter sounds like mine! Some people take longer to find the right group but generally they end up with the deepest friendships because they are more sincere in their interactions, more discriminating in who they open up to. It is not easy though.

 

[SmallWorld71]

One more day! DH, DD, my mom, and I are heading out tomorrow to see DS. Haven't seen him in 2 months. I am so excited!

 

[laughinplace199]

One more day! DH, DD, my mom, and I are heading out tomorrow to see DS. Haven't seen him in 2 months. I am so excited!

Have a great time!

 

[robinb]

Well, I'm disappointed. I dropped off a plastic pumpkin with goodies in it for my DD on Friday. They said they would log it in so she can come down and get it.

I shopped multiple places to find cute little trinkets like tiny skull lights, gel clings for her window, her favorite candy, a Lush "goth fairy" shimmer bar (no tub so no bath bombs) and a beanie baby spider with ginormous eyes right on top. Saturday passes. Nothing. Sunday comes and I see her when she picked up the car to go to the mall. I finally asked her if she got my package and she said, "I got a notice that I have 2 packages. One is from my new "Big Sister" at the sorority and I can't wait to see what it is!". I texted her at about 10pm and asked about the "Big Sister" ceremony that night (she was unaware of who it was when she received the package) and she was very happy that she was assigned the "Big" that she wanted. I then asked if she got my package and she said "Yes". That's it. I know it's silly to be disappointed and (yes) hurt. Everyone else seems to get such positive results from "care packages" I was hoping for more than a simple acknowledgement of receipt.

 

[clutter]

Well, I'm disappointed. I dropped off a plastic pumpkin with goodies in it for my DD on Friday. They said they would log it in so she can come down and get it.

I shopped multiple places to find cute little trinkets like tiny skull lights, gel clings for her window, her favorite candy, a Lush "goth fairy" shimmer bar (no tub so no bath bombs) and a beanie baby spider with ginormous eyes right on top. Saturday passes. Nothing. Sunday comes and I see her when she picked up the car to go to the mall. I finally asked her if she got my package and she said, "I got a notice that I have 2 packages. One is from my new "Big Sister" at the sorority and I can't wait to see what it is!". I texted her at about 10pm and asked about the "Big Sister" ceremony that night (she was unaware of who it was when she received the package) and she was very happy that she was assigned the "Big" that she wanted. I then asked if she got my package and she said "Yes". That's it. I know it's silly to be disappointed and (yes) hurt. Everyone else seems to get such positive results from "care packages" I was hoping for more than a simple acknowledgement of receipt.

The ones that don't get the positive results don't post. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful dd. But she's just never been the type to like that kind of stuff. College didn't change that. One try, and I had to let it go.

 

[robinb]

The ones that don't get the positive results don't post. Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful dd. But she's just never been the type to like that kind of stuff. College didn't change that. One try, and I had to let it go.

You're right! It's so much nicer to post that your kid really liked what you sent. I guess I just posted for the rest of us .

 

[scottmel]

Well, I'm disappointed. I dropped off a plastic pumpkin with goodies in it for my DD on Friday. They said they would log it in so she can come down and get it.

I shopped multiple places to find cute little trinkets like tiny skull lights, gel clings for her window, her favorite candy, a Lush "goth fairy" shimmer bar (no tub so no bath bombs) and a beanie baby spider with ginormous eyes right on top. Saturday passes. Nothing. Sunday comes and I see her when she picked up the car to go to the mall. I finally asked her if she got my package and she said, "I got a notice that I have 2 packages. One is from my new "Big Sister" at the sorority and I can't wait to see what it is!". I texted her at about 10pm and asked about the "Big Sister" ceremony that night (she was unaware of who it was when she received the package) and she was very happy that she was assigned the "Big" that she wanted. I then asked if she got my package and she said "Yes". That's it. I know it's silly to be disappointed and (yes) hurt. Everyone else seems to get such positive results from "care packages" I was hoping for more than a simple acknowledgement of receipt.

Two things came to my mind

1. She must live close by if she picked up the car to go to the mall therefore making me think a care package from home doesn't have the same punch say if you were 300 miles away from her?

2. I agree. It is the facebook syndrome where you only see the HI LIGHT reels of someone's life vs. the backstage tour! I am sure you are not the only one out there disappointed with a reaction on something. Others just don't say....

 

[lovin'fl]

My girls don't get all that excited when I send them packages and, even the last time, one DD said 'I hoped for more candy'. And when I send a package, I have to send them reminder texts that it's coming and they don't always pick it up the day it arrives. Then I keep bugging them to see if they got it and they reply 'yeah,thanks'. So not much response.

 

[SmallWorld71]

Had an amazing weekend. Saw DS perform in the multi-bands concert on Friday night and at the football game on Saturday. They are incredible! To top it all off, the football team finally won a game and the weather was perfect.

DS had very little free time, but he spent it with us. We took him to Chili's Saturday night and then he took us to lunch at one of the dining halls on Sunday. The food is delicious; they are rated #1 for college dining. So much variety! DD14 was so excited to have so many vegetarian options.

Also got to see his dorm room finally since DH was the one who helped him move in. (I had done band camp drop off a few days prior.)

He told us how happy he is and how much better college is than high school. In spite of the wonderful weekend and visit, I still burst into tears with my goodbye hug! I made my mother, DH and DD all teary with my crying. This time, I don't have the worry; I just miss him being home!

On another note, we stayed Airbnb for the first time and loved it. Our hosts were great and fed us these amazing breakfasts with homemade pumpkin bread and eggs with veggies from their garden. So much better than a hotel.

Back to reality today, but so grateful for our weekend.

 

[bethbuchall]

Well, I'm disappointed. I dropped off a plastic pumpkin with goodies in it for my DD on Friday. They said they would log it in so she can come down and get it.

I shopped multiple places to find cute little trinkets like tiny skull lights, gel clings for her window, her favorite candy, a Lush "goth fairy" shimmer bar (no tub so no bath bombs) and a beanie baby spider with ginormous eyes right on top. Saturday passes. Nothing. Sunday comes and I see her when she picked up the car to go to the mall. I finally asked her if she got my package and she said, "I got a notice that I have 2 packages. One is from my new "Big Sister" at the sorority and I can't wait to see what it is!". I texted her at about 10pm and asked about the "Big Sister" ceremony that night (she was unaware of who it was when she received the package) and she was very happy that she was assigned the "Big" that she wanted. I then asked if she got my package and she said "Yes". That's it. I know it's silly to be disappointed and (yes) hurt. Everyone else seems to get such positive results from "care packages" I was hoping for more than a simple acknowledgement of receipt.

My youngest is all about getting mail, so he's always been excited when I send him a package. My daughter loved getting things, too. My older son, though, really didn't care at all. I sent him a couple of things with a lukewarm response. One time I sent homemade cookies (that he would have liked) and a $20 bill, but he couldn't be bothered enough to go pick the package up, so they eventually returned here. That was the last "care package" that I sent his freshman year. It definitely stung at the time, but I see now that personality plays a role. Even now, my daughter always texts excitedly when I send any kind of holiday package. My son and his wife appreciate when I do, but they are much more likely to just mention it the next time we talk. (So, guess who gets more little packages throughout the year...)