Parents of son's friend invitied him on a Disney trip for spring break next year

[robinb]

Yeah, that's where I am with this. Nobody who actually felt this way would be posting all of this pity-me-please stuff. Someone is bored.

Some schools don't start until after Labor Day. Just sayin'.

 

[Dadof3inNH]

Okay so where’s your daughter seeing multiple Disney tv commercials?

We watch stuff OTA too. ABC shows a lot of Disney commercials.

 

[Dadof3inNH]

I’m the oldest of four. My family could afford to go on vacation, and we did go to Disney once, but it was mostly a two week trip to our favourite campground. Some of my best memories are from those summers.

Back on point, as the oldest of four it was not uncommon for one of us to get things from a friend that the others didn’t get. We were jealous for a minute or two and then we moved on to fighting over who got to use the computer next lol

I know that my kids might get over if allowed my son to go. I would still feel guilty because I couldn't and can't take all three on that kind of vacation. I would be sad for my other two to not have that opportunity. It's about empathizing with my kids.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

OK, I'm still suckered in.....

I've said before that I don't like to have my kids' friends over due to past issues with one of my kid's friends. Tent camping in the backyard wouldn't equal their offered gift of a Disney trip.

So, because your daughter had one jerk of a friend (BTW, not a real friend in my books) who didn't like her house, you're figuring all your kid's friends are looking down on you and your family?

I know that my kids might get over if allowed my son to go. I would still feel guilty because I couldn't and can't take all three on that kind of vacation. I would be sad for my other two to not have that opportunity. It's about empathizing with my kids.

How about empathizing with the one kid?

One of the first things I learned as a parent was that you're not going to be able to treat all your kids equally. Sure, you do your best, but sometimes kid #1 is going to get a better deal than the others, or kid #3 will get the better deal. And they all survive it. The mantra of "that's not fair" is frequently met with "who told you life was fair?"

Another thing, you don't know what position you're going to be in in, say 3 years, things could be massively "better" for you. This is a case of "seize the day", for this opportunity will probably not be repeated.

 

[kimblebee]

I know that my kids might get over if allowed my son to go. I would still feel guilty because I couldn't and can't take all three on that kind of vacation. I would be sad for my other two to not have that opportunity. It's about empathizing with my kids.

You say empathize with, others say projecting on..

 

[kaytieeldr]

If this is who I think it is, she needs to take a break and go listen to her backstreet boy cds.

Doubtful. OP is in New Hampshire; wasn't that other poster in New York? Or course, other than saying that on the first page, and the screen name, well, he has ignored any mention of question regarding location...

On the chance he's actually in NH and lets his son to and wants to treat his daughters - free http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE0501/110429454 and unspecified http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE05/110429473things to do in the state.

 

[lifesavacation]

Doubtful. OP is in New Hampshire; wasn't that other poster in New York? Or course, other than saying that on the first page, and the screen name, well, he has ignored any mention of question regarding location...

On the chance he's actually in NH and lets his son to and wants to treat his daughters - free http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE0501/110429454 and unspecified http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE05/110429473things to do in the state.

Yeah, there’s always a ton of free stuff that you can do everywhere.

Experiences over things is my mantra. You don’t need to spend money to enjoy life or give your kids a great childhood.

And for someone who is struggling financially, I would encourage fishing. Not only is it a fun hobby, it puts food on the table. My husband, kids, and their girlfriends are out fishing today. I really hope we have fresh salmon for dinner tonight!

 

[gotomu212]

If this is who I think it is, she needs to take a break and go listen to her backstreet boy cds.

The posting style is almost identical.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

The posting style is almost identical.

The grammar is better though.

 

[Hrhpd]

Doubtful. OP is in New Hampshire; wasn't that other poster in New York? Or course, other than saying that on the first page, and the screen name, well, he has ignored any mention of question regarding location...

On the chance he's actually in NH and lets his son to and wants to treat his daughters - free http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE0501/110429454 and unspecified http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE05/110429473things to do in the state.

Wasn't it upstate NY, so in the vicinity? But that was a bogus location anyway. I mentioned a few sites in NH too and no response. (I lived in upstate VT for awhile, so am familiar with that part of the US)

And a person from NH wouldn't say "My children will do poorly on the ACTs." They would typically say "My children will do poorly on the SATs" as that is the more popular test. I had never even heard of the ACTs until I moved out west. I know things have changed and the ACT is a little more popular, but from what I understand from old friends, SAT is still the more popular test to make decisions with back east.

 

[Hrhpd]

The posting style is almost identical.

What convinced me is the 3 children, an older girl, a middle boy and a third where the gender is rarely mentioned.

And mostly because one thing stuck in my mind about the other poster was that she also claimed her children were B students so would be trade school students, exactly like this poster did. It was memorable because she also claimed to be a teacher, so she would know that being a B student would not limit you to trade school and that trade school was not a bad option.

I might be wrong, and I apologize to the OP if I am, but there are so many similarities, especially the asking for advice and then excuse upon excuse why the advice will not work that caused me to wonder. Again, if pure coincidence, my apologies to the OP.

 

[KathyTX]

Everyone!!

Calling another poster a troll is a PERSONAL ATTACK. If a thread or a poster pushes your buttons and tempts you to respond inappropriately, scroll past it.

 

[bellebud]

OP - you pay taxes, right? Thats where financial aid for college and whatever aid you needed when your wife was sick comes from. Thats where everything comes from. From we who work and pay taxes. It's not from "the government" as if it's some separate entity that creates money and gifts it to those who need it. I know you know this, but I don't think you're looking at it that way.

I'm all for saving for future education, but not at the cost of something else important, and it seems that a nice family vacation is important to you. So do it. Just once... now... (soon). It doesn't have to be disney and it doesn't have to be crazy expensive. Start researching now for a week next spring or summer. Somewhere you can drive to. Go to Boston for a week, or NYC, or a beach town. Just walking around sightseeing is fun, museums are often free. The beach is entertainment in itself. If you say you can't afford it, I honestly don't believe you. You don't even know the cost yet. Go Monday to Friday (weekends are more expensive). Bring food. Go a little off-season somewhere. I really feel you simply don't want the vacation. And thats ok too. Just own it so you don't feel guilty about it.

I also feel badly for you and your son that the family didn't approach you first. I understand you being torn on letting him go or not. Your other kids feelings about it are important too. I don't have an opinion one way or the other about if I'd allow it being in your situation.

But if you say no, please try to say yes to doing some sort of family vacation. We here can help you with ideas and finding inexpensive things to do. The budget board here is great, and I'm sure there are a lot of other great budget sights.

And most importantly, if this is a real post, I'm truly very sorry about your wife and I hope you and your kids can find some peace. I can't imagine how difficult it is for all of you.

And if it's a fake post, well, you got me.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Doubtful. OP is in New Hampshire; wasn't that other poster in New York? Or course, other than saying that on the first page, and the screen name, well, he has ignored any mention of question regarding location...

On the chance he's actually in NH and lets his son to and wants to treat his daughters - free http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE0501/110429454 and unspecified http://www.newhampshire.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/99999999/NEWHAMPSHIRE05/110429473things to do in the state.

Also. in NH most public libraries have passes you can check out that provide entry or an entire family to places like the Planetarium, or various museums, etc. A great, totally free resource (at least this was the case a decade ago, I imagine it is likely still the case).


ETA: I just looked it up. The NH library I used to wórk at still offers free passes to:
Currier Museum of Art
McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center
Museum of New Hampshire History
Mt. Kearsarge Indian Museum
SEE Science Center
Squam Lakes Science Center

Libraries are such a great resource for inexpensive/free fun.

 

[BadPinkTink]

after 16 pages of back and forth, there comes a time when straight talking and bluntness is called for

@Dadof3inNH you sound EXACTLY like a toxic friend I used to have, everything was an issue, excuses left right and center, projecting your insecurities and low self esteem on to every thing and everyone.

YOU are the one with issues, YOU sound in deep deep depression. Everything you have posted sounds to me like someone who is bi polar, deep deep lows and I bet you get crazy highs, when you are soo much fun, and everything is sunny and roses and rainbows and unicorns.

You need help, you need to get on drugs to sort out your depression, you need therapy. BUT until YOU come to this realisation, nothing will change.

Your teen daughter wants out so bad she wants to join the military. That says that the home life you are providing is not giving her the emotional support she needs

Now you are depriving your son of a trip to Disney and a chance to experience happiness and joy and a break from the oppressive doom and gloom which surrounds you.

Unlike others who have so generously shared their own hardships as a way of being nice, Im not, cos its obvious you dont care about anyone except yourself.

I hope you dont end up like one of my neighbours, the local drunk, disowned by her grown up children, who just leaves the house to go to the liquor store

 

[mom to minnie&mickey]

I know that my kids might get over if allowed my son to go. I would still feel guilty because I couldn't and can't take all three on that kind of vacation. I would be sad for my other two to not have that opportunity. It's about empathizing with my kids.

Or you can make the choice to be HAPPY for the kid that does have the opportunity to go! Your son should not pay the price for your feelings. OP, if you are real, have you ever stopped to ask yourself what your wife would do in this situation if she was alive? Would she not want her child to have an experience that maybe she could not at the moment provide?

 

[PrincessBelle39]

We have dd's 16 and 14 who are very close. But on our next trip to WDW they are taking a friend each. Whilst the friends are excited and it's a great opportunity for them, the offer to take them is about our kids. To give them an opportunity to share something they love so much with their friends. To give them someone to hang out with other than just their parents. And also to give DH and I the opportunity to have some time together whilst on holiday.

 

[OhhBother]

I hope this isn’t real, because if it is, I feel so, so sorry for these children. And it has nothing to do with size of bedrooms or a lack of luxury hotel stays. That’s not what these kids are missing out on.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I had never even heard of the ACTs until I moved out west. I know things have changed and the ACT is a little more popular,

Rats. You just reminded me, my brother got to take both and I only got to take the SATs. Now I feel deprived.

OP - you pay taxes, right? Thats where financial aid for college and whatever aid you needed when your wife was sick comes from.

https://money.howstuffworks.com/personal-finance/college-planning/financial-aid/scholarship.htm Scholarship money can come from any number of sources. There are scholarshipsprovided by governments, corporations, universities or any organization with a little goodwill and some money to burn. Many famous scholarships come from stipulations in the wills of philanthropists.

Go to Boston for a week, or NYC, or a beach town.

Goodness, yes! Hampton Beach, Kittery/Ogunquit, really anywhere on the Maine coast.

Also. in NH most public libraries have passes you can check out that provide entry or an entire family to places like the Planetarium, or various museums, etc. A great, totally free resource (at least this was the case a decade ago, I imagine it is likely still the case).


ETA: I just looked it up. The NH library I used to wórk at still offers free passes to:
Currier Museum of Art
McAuliffe-Shepard Discovery Center
Museum of New Hampshire History
Mt. Kearsarge Indian Museum
SEE Science Center
Squam Lakes Science Center

Libraries are such a great resource for inexpensive/free fun.

My library offers a bunch of free courses, including 3D printing.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

after 16 pages of back and forth, there comes a time when straight talking and bluntness is called for

@Dadof3inNH you sound EXACTLY like a toxic friend I used to have, everything was an issue, excuses left right and center, projecting your insecurities and low self esteem on to every thing and everyone.

YOU are the one with issues, YOU sound in deep deep depression. Everything you have posted sounds to me like someone who is bi polar, deep deep lows and I bet you get crazy highs, when you are soo much fun, and everything is sunny and roses and rainbows and unicorns.

You need help, you need to get on drugs to sort out your depression, you need therapy. BUT until YOU come to this realisation, nothing will change.

Your teen daughter wants out so bad she wants to join the military. That says that the home life you are providing is not giving her the emotional support she needs

Now you are depriving your son of a trip to Disney and a chance to experience happiness and joy and a break from the oppressive doom and gloom which surrounds you.

Unlike others who have so generously shared their own hardships as a way of being nice, Im not, cos its obvious you dont care about anyone except yourself.

I hope you dont end up like one of my neighbours, the local drunk, disowned by her grown up children, who just leaves the house to go to the liquor store

Quoting this so that it shows up again in the thread. It’s tough, but it’s true.