Parents of College Class of 2018 (A.K.A., "Is this the line to the poor house?")

[Pembo]

Just came across this article and wanted to share:

http://patch.com/new-jersey/springf...your-children-go-away-to-college#.U_Y57fldWSo

Love this article. DH and I were talking about how some people don't seem upset and we are! Thanks for sharing it and thanks to all my fellow college parents on this thread for being my support. I appreciate it!

 

[elgerber]

All these rooms seem so much bigger than my dd's! We barely got their stuff in there and either her roomate can sit, or she can open her wardrobe door, not both LOL. Does anyone else have a prison cell??
I didn't cry all night last night, off and on, but I laughed several times watching Hollywood Game Night. I'm crying again now though, because I just can't shake it all the time.

 

[elgerber]

Here is the prison cell (hopefully this works, I haven't posted pics in a long time) I just noticed I didn't take a picture of the TV area. That big empty space next to her chair isn't actually empty. Her roommates chair goes there, and the TV is in that same space on the other side of the room. So if my dd wants to open her wardrobe the chair has to move. No big deal, only her clothes that she needs to wear are in there LOL.

 

[sk!mom]

I didn't take any before but trust me it is a tile floor, cinder block cell. I also didn't take any of the roommates side as that seemed invasive and she wasn't set up when we left. I didn't get the fridge, microwave, coffee area because her roommate's dad had just arrived with her roommates stuff as we were leaving. Maybe parent weekend I'll get some more and update.

Dh is going to buy, modify if necessary, and paint to match a side ladder to make it easier to get up and down from her loft.

http://i1370.photobucket.com/albums...4285704_4065421372457189488_n_zps86cff12a.jpg

http://i1370.photobucket.com/albums/ag257/Lisa_Taiclet/IMG_1019_zpsf379b5de.jpg

http://i1370.photobucket.com/albums/ag257/Lisa_Taiclet/IMG_1017_zpsc3a1f7fd.jpg

http://i1370.photobucket.com/albums/ag257/Lisa_Taiclet/IMG_1016_zpsd105f602.jpg

 

[Pembo]

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[elgerber]

Thats a ton of storage in the wall of storage!
Now I am second guessing how we arranged the room, thinking we should have tried something different with the TV so mommy guilt is setting in...again...

 

[Gina]

Now I am second guessing how we arranged the room, thinking we should have tried something different with the TV so mommy guilt is setting in...again...

to you Erika... I can totally empathize. Guilt - The gift that keeps giving!

After we got his bed lofted, DS became concerned that it was too high -- "If I fall out of bed, that'll kill me!" Yeah, THAT'S what I needed to be thinking about. After a while he decided it would work out okay, and that he would be fine. But guess who is ready to dig out his old toddler bed rails and make him put them on his bed now? I tossed and turned all night, worrying about him and that bed.


And I have to vent because I have no one else to tell... I am SO mad and hurt at my boyfriend right now. I've been stressing and fretting over move-in day for months now, and he *knew* how hard that day was going to be for me. We usually text on and off throughout any given day, but yesterday I didn't hear word one from him. Not ONE. I got messages from friends, family, everyone but him -- the one person I counted on to be supportive. I finally texted him last night just to ask if he was still alive since I had expected to hear from him, and he said "Sorry, I had a monster day at work." Mind you, every day is like that at his job. But to make things 1000 times worse, instead of immediately apologizing and saying things he should have said, he said nothing. NOTHING. Now I'm not even talking to him and have all that emotional crap on top of the raw feelings I already had. I'm ready to go home, have a beer or 6, and curl up in bed.


Whew... Sorry to dump all that... maybe I'm just being too sensitive. But I also know he could have taken 20 seconds out of his "monster" day to say hey, I know today is hard for you, I'm thinking of you. Or am I way off?

 

[elgerber]

to you Erika... I can totally empathize. Guilt - The gift that keeps giving!

After we got his bed lofted, DS became concerned that it was too high -- "If I fall out of bed, that'll kill me!" Yeah, THAT'S what I needed to be thinking about. After a while he decided it would work out okay, and that he would be fine. But guess who is ready to dig out his old toddler bed rails and make him put them on his bed now? I tossed and turned all night, worrying about him and that bed.


And I have to vent because I have no one else to tell... I am SO mad and hurt at my boyfriend right now. I've been stressing and fretting over move-in day for months now, and he *knew* how hard that day was going to be for me. We usually text on and off throughout any given day, but yesterday I didn't hear word one from him. Not ONE. I got messages from friends, family, everyone but him -- the one person I counted on to be supportive. I finally texted him last night just to ask if he was still alive since I had expected to hear from him, and he said "Sorry, I had a monster day at work." Mind you, every day is like that at his job. But to make things 1000 times worse, instead of immediately apologizing and saying things he should have said, he said nothing. NOTHING. Now I'm not even talking to him and have all that emotional crap on top of the raw feelings I already had. I'm ready to go home, have a beer or 6, and curl up in bed.


Whew... Sorry to dump all that... maybe I'm just being too sensitive. But I also know he could have taken 20 seconds out of his "monster" day to say hey, I know today is hard for you, I'm thinking of you. Or am I way off?

You are not way off, I agree a simple check in would have been nice! And with as messed up as we are right now, you have a right to feel however you want. I think time is what we all need

Our girls beds were too high, so we lowered them a bit. My dd is tall, so she has to bed way over to get in her dresser now LOL. The beds came with rails though, so thank god that is one less thing to worry about!
We have a friend, she is my sons age, and she fell out of her loft twice freshman year, and she was just fine LOL.

 

[PlutoPony]

Now I am second guessing how we arranged the room, thinking we should have tried something different with the TV so mommy guilt is setting in...again...

If they are anything like the kids at my son's school, the room may well get rearranged a few times during the year. As they see other students' set ups and get into using their room, they change it up. And they can always recruit guys to help them do the heavy lifting with the beds and things like that

 

[elgerber]

If they are anything like the kids at my son's school, the room may well get rearranged a few times during the year. As they see other students' set ups and get into using their room, they change it up. And they can always recruit guys to help them do the heavy lifting with the beds and things like that

That's my only thought, the furniture is heavy! And the beds have to be lifted if they want to move the dresser. We will go up at the end of September, and see how they are doing with the arrangement the way it is. there are really only a couple of ways to move the stuff and still fit it all in there.

 

[Pembo]

to you Erika... I can totally empathize. Guilt - The gift that keeps giving!

After we got his bed lofted, DS became concerned that it was too high -- "If I fall out of bed, that'll kill me!" Yeah, THAT'S what I needed to be thinking about. After a while he decided it would work out okay, and that he would be fine. But guess who is ready to dig out his old toddler bed rails and make him put them on his bed now? I tossed and turned all night, worrying about him and that bed.


And I have to vent because I have no one else to tell... I am SO mad and hurt at my boyfriend right now. I've been stressing and fretting over move-in day for months now, and he *knew* how hard that day was going to be for me. We usually text on and off throughout any given day, but yesterday I didn't hear word one from him. Not ONE. I got messages from friends, family, everyone but him -- the one person I counted on to be supportive. I finally texted him last night just to ask if he was still alive since I had expected to hear from him, and he said "Sorry, I had a monster day at work." Mind you, every day is like that at his job. But to make things 1000 times worse, instead of immediately apologizing and saying things he should have said, he said nothing. NOTHING. Now I'm not even talking to him and have all that emotional crap on top of the raw feelings I already had. I'm ready to go home, have a beer or 6, and curl up in bed.


Whew... Sorry to dump all that... maybe I'm just being too sensitive. But I also know he could have taken 20 seconds out of his "monster" day to say hey, I know today is hard for you, I'm thinking of you. Or am I way off?

NO you are not way off. I would definitely be mad.

And DH told me that he did fall out of his bed at college, multiple times! We could get a loft kit for ds but he didn't want one. The room is bigger than expected, he really doesn't need to loft the bed. And it's high off the floor, lots of room underneath for stuff, like his guitars.

DS's roommate brought the tv and I don't know where they are going to put it. It was on the roomies desk which is closest to the outlet but neither one can really see it from there.

I'm guessing the room will look the same when I go back in May to move him out. lol BTW - I was sitting in the room with ds and roomie waiting for dh to get back from Walmart - and I asked them if this was the last time I was welcome in the room until move out day. They both awkwardly said yes. LOL
DH had to make the emergency run to Walmart bc my parents gave ds a fan. (dorm is NOT ac). Plugged the fan in, it worked. Moved it, it didn't and wouldn't start back up at all. So DH did the Walmart run. He said the cashier asked him if it was move-in day. LOL Well, he was wearing a new college shirt.

It started POURING just after we got ds's stuff in the building. DH got drenched walking back from the car after he parked far away. Thus, no outside pictures!

BTW - Any of you have Welcoming Ceremonies to go to??? We did. It was brief but a real tear jerker. It was in the field house. The kids sat together on the floor and the parents in the bleachers. They had a brass choir for the professors procession, a few people talked, the dean, the president...and the chapel choir sang. It was beautiful!!! They sang the Lord Bless You and Keep you...dh & I were both a mess! I don't need to do that again anytime soon.

 

[littlejimmy]

That's my only thought, the furniture is heavy! And the beds have to be lifted if they want to move the dresser. We will go up at the end of September, and see how they are doing with the arrangement the way it is. there are really only a couple of ways to move the stuff and still fit it all in there.

I wouldnt worry about it. I am sure they will find plenty of boys to help do anything that needs to be done.

 

[elgerber]

BTW - Any of you have Welcoming Ceremonies to go to??? We did. It was brief but a real tear jerker. It was in the field house. The kids sat together on the floor and the parents in the bleachers. They had a brass choir for the professors procession, a few people talked, the dean, the president...and the chapel choir sang. It was beautiful!!! They sang the Lord Bless You and Keep you...dh & I were both a mess! I don't need to do that again anytime soon.

Thank goodness no!!!!!!!!!!!! My friend did though, her dd is going to a private Catholic college and they had some kind of a service before the parents left yesterday afternoon, and she said the speaker actually said something about their kids rooms being empty when they got home!!??!!? Why would they do that. She said it was terrible, lot's of sobbing people. I personally tried to keep my sobbing done until I got in the car. I almost made it that far.

 

[sk!mom]

to you Erika... I can totally empathize. Guilt - The gift that keeps giving!

After we got his bed lofted, DS became concerned that it was too high -- "If I fall out of bed, that'll kill me!" Yeah, THAT'S what I needed to be thinking about. After a while he decided it would work out okay, and that he would be fine. But guess who is ready to dig out his old toddler bed rails and make him put them on his bed now? I tossed and turned all night, worrying about him and that bed.


And I have to vent because I have no one else to tell... I am SO mad and hurt at my boyfriend right now. I've been stressing and fretting over move-in day for months now, and he *knew* how hard that day was going to be for me. We usually text on and off throughout any given day, but yesterday I didn't hear word one from him. Not ONE. I got messages from friends, family, everyone but him -- the one person I counted on to be supportive. I finally texted him last night just to ask if he was still alive since I had expected to hear from him, and he said "Sorry, I had a monster day at work." Mind you, every day is like that at his job. But to make things 1000 times worse, instead of immediately apologizing and saying things he should have said, he said nothing. NOTHING. Now I'm not even talking to him and have all that emotional crap on top of the raw feelings I already had. I'm ready to go home, have a beer or 6, and curl up in bed.


Whew... Sorry to dump all that... maybe I'm just being too sensitive. But I also know he could have taken 20 seconds out of his "monster" day to say hey, I know today is hard for you, I'm thinking of you. Or am I way off?

I was also worried about the falling issue and offered a rail. DD's response, "Could you keep your obsessive worry to real dangers like me driving in metro traffic?" I'm like, "OK...Ok but seriously let me know and I can Amazon Prime ship you one in two days!"

I'm sorry that you didn't get the support you needed.

I'm in Texas, as well, so here's a Texan hug from me

I've spent a lot of time in Houston/Galveston area, my DH was treated at MDA a couple of years ago. DD's good friend now/high school boyfriend is at A&M College Station.

 

[Bluestars]

Whew... Sorry to dump all that... maybe I'm just being too sensitive. But I also know he could have taken 20 seconds out of his "monster" day to say hey, I know today is hard for you, I'm thinking of you. Or am I way off?

I'm sorry. Maybe he was trying to give you and your son some space and didn't want to intrude. Guys are so clueless sometimes. I love the pictures you posted of the dorm room. I forgot to take pictures of my son's room.

He is in the middle of the cadet hell week and I heard the seniors got to shave the heads of all the freshman/fish. I am so excited about seeing him next weekend. They have some events planned for families. I believe they take their oath and will march on to the field. I love that Texas A&M includes the families in everything. Even during home football games, they encourage the families to show up for BBQs. and stuff like that. I thought that once he went to college the last thing any of the kids would want is for parents to be around, but the school encourages families to be there.

 

[IDoDis]

Pictures : The before DS's bed and desk And the wall of storage - it's artsy because it's tilted

All of that out of sight storage is great! At least your DS didn't get the bed next to the cinder block wall!

I didn't take any before but trust me it is a tile floor, cinder block cell. I also didn't take any of the roommates side as that seemed invasive and she wasn't set up when we left. I didn't get the fridge, microwave, coffee area because her roommate's dad had just arrived with her roommates stuff as we were leaving. Maybe parent weekend I'll get some more and update. Dh is going to buy, modify if necessary, and paint to match a side ladder to make it easier to get up and down from her loft.

Looks great! Your DD is beautiful, too! She looks happy!

 

[sk!mom]

Looks great! Your DD is beautiful, too! She looks happy!

Thank you!
She's very happy and has had a fun first week. Her school did a great job with planning lots of "welcome" activities and DD has done a great job of getting out and meeting people. Her easy transition has certainly made it easier for me.

Hopefully she'll love it just as much when she actually starts classes and her job on Monday.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

The first week is done.
My son has been texting me all week. I think he misses me. But he said he really likes his college and has had no issues with his room mate.

He got his books and bumped into another friend from High School in the cafeteria who he didn't know was going there so now he has 2 High School friends there.

He even remembered to get me the mailing address for him so now I have that but he didn't text me any pictures of his jail cell (aka dorm room - they are smaller than his room here at home and have 2 people in them!) and him since I forgot to take any.

I doubt I'll even get one of those since knowing him the room won't be clean unless they have the occasional room check.

There was no welcome to college ceremony for us thank goodness. I'd have lost it during that if they had one.

There is a fall family weekend in September that we won't be going to. He says he is fine with that so I hope so.
I have my solo disney trip then and already had bought my MNSSHP ticket and premium package for the food and wine festival before I knew about the family weekend.
I told my husband about it and he and DD14 could go but they don't want to.

I find myself missing him when I cook dinner - I thought that was a strange time to miss him until I realized I've been cooking for 4 for so many years and now it's only 3. And then it hits me that it will be down to 2 in 4 years. Yikes - they sure grow up fast!

 

[disneymom2one]

We're feeling pretty good here (for now). We arrived at UWF early on Friday. It was super, super organized. You waited your turn, parked right in front of the dorm, and instantly an army of volunteers unloaded your car. While our daughter checked in, my husband moved the car and those same volunteers moved her stuff to her room.

Her roommate wasn't due to arrive for a couple of hours so we took our time with our daughter getting everything set up. After everything was almost in place, my husband and I headed out to Target. The provided desk was way too small so we purchased a bookshelf to put right next to the desk. She also needed a "door" for the closet so we purchased a curtain rod and a nice curtain. While we were gone, the roommate and her mom arrived and our daughter got to meet them. We got back, met them, and headed over to the student union with Hann to give them some time in the room alone.

We didn't leave until late that night after going to convocation (just okay) and the honors program induction (fantastic). My husband and I headed to a hotel about an hour away for the weekend. My husband spent all weekend saying how good it was that we did that. We communicated with her often and she really did a great job doing a lot of the things we talked about this summer (getting involved, staying organized, being friendly). She's been hanging out with two friends she met at orientation (both are in her dorm) and going to every event honors has offered as well as a couple of the college wide events.

We stopped by campus on our way home today and took her out to breakfast and to the grocery store. She was happy to see us and was her usual chatty self (around us she talks a lot - other people it just depends).

So I'm relieved. I miss her. We both do. Our dogs are kenneled this weekend so the house is so quiet. But for now, I'm okay. She is way happier than I've seen her in a long time. Classes start tomorrow and that will bring added stress and I'll continue to hold my breath for a long time. But I'm so thrilled that she's started off so well.

Thinking of all of you!

 

[Pembo]

How is everyone doing this week? My ds started classes on Monday and has realized how busy his schedule actually is. I am having a hard time adjusting to the quiet and the hole in our house. As a coworker said yesterday, it's just weird without him. He is coming home for the weekend, wondering how that is going to be. This is a whole new normal....