Parents of College Class of 2018 (A.K.A., "Is this the line to the poor house?")

[Mom21]

My baby is sad. Yesterday, she and her dad drove up. He took an RV and trailered her car. She was texting me last night begging to transfer to another school. The school she wanted to move to was one I had wanted her to go to all along. It was closer, and I think a better fit for her. The drive was long yesterday--9+ hours so she feels like she is in the middle of no where. I told her tough it out one semester, and if she felt the same way later she could transfer.

So got a call this morning. LOL. I had told her many times to be careful what she packed as the rooms are small. She called to let me know she actually didn't have much compared to other people. HAH. I go up tomorrow to take her out to dinner, pick up anything she has forgotten, etc. I'm going to take her some baked treats, so hopefully the tearful texts, calls won't go on for very long.

I already don't like her roommate. They are in a dorm where you had to sign a "wellness contract" that you don't drink, do drugs, etc. Found out roommate was a partier in high school--so why be in that dorm as a request? Also, roommate has asked my dd if it is ok if bf stays on Thursday night. My dd said ok, so now instead of sleeping with someone she doesn't know (which freaks her out), she now has to have a boy she doesn't know in the room. BTW, this isn't legal. If the RA finds out he is there, he will be kicked out. Am I bad mom to write an email to the RS and let her know? Yeah. I won't, but seriously this isn't fair to my dd, but she would never say anything.

College sucks.

 

[sk!mom]

My DD seems to be settling in well. I have a few texts and they all been of the "I love this place soooooo much!!!" or "Everyone is sooo awesome!!!"

I'm so relieved that she's settling in, making friends, and adjusting easily. I hope to talk to her tonight. I'm really trying hard to give her space.

DH and I are doing really well too. I think the anticipation of her leaving was the most emotional time.

 

[Bluestars]

My baby is sad. Yesterday, she and her dad drove up. He took an RV and trailered her car. She was texting me last night begging to transfer to another school. The school she wanted to move to was one I had wanted her to go to all along. It was closer, and I think a better fit for her. The drive was long yesterday--9+ hours so she feels like she is in the middle of no where. I told her tough it out one semester, and if she felt the same way later she could transfer.

So got a call this morning. LOL. I had told her many times to be careful what she packed as the rooms are small. She called to let me know she actually didn't have much compared to other people. HAH. I go up tomorrow to take her out to dinner, pick up anything she has forgotten, etc. I'm going to take her some baked treats, so hopefully the tearful texts, calls won't go on for very long.

I already don't like her roommate. They are in a dorm where you had to sign a "wellness contract" that you don't drink, do drugs, etc. Found out roommate was a partier in high school--so why be in that dorm as a request? Also, roommate has asked my dd if it is ok if bf stays on Thursday night. My dd said ok, so now instead of sleeping with someone she doesn't know (which freaks her out), she now has to have a boy she doesn't know in the room. BTW, this isn't legal. If the RA finds out he is there, he will be kicked out. Am I bad mom to write an email to the RS and let her know? Yeah. I won't, but seriously this isn't fair to my dd, but she would never say anything.

College sucks.

I am sorry about the issues your daughter is having with her school and roommate. I would not like the roommate issue at all. Maybe her parents were the ones who encouraged her to sign up for that that of dorm. Hopefully, she will get caught doing it so that will put an end to that.

 

[Bluestars]

I picked my son up from freshman camp yesterday and helped him move into his dorm today. Even though his dorm room was small, all of his stuff fit. My husband and I are flying back home today. The school already has stuff planned for the cadets later today. We fly back up in 9 days for one of their events.

 

[Pembo]

My baby is sad. Yesterday, she and her dad drove up. He took an RV and trailered her car. She was texting me last night begging to transfer to another school. The school she wanted to move to was one I had wanted her to go to all along. It was closer, and I think a better fit for her. The drive was long yesterday--9+ hours so she feels like she is in the middle of no where. I told her tough it out one semester, and if she felt the same way later she could transfer.

So got a call this morning. LOL. I had told her many times to be careful what she packed as the rooms are small. She called to let me know she actually didn't have much compared to other people. HAH. I go up tomorrow to take her out to dinner, pick up anything she has forgotten, etc. I'm going to take her some baked treats, so hopefully the tearful texts, calls won't go on for very long.

I already don't like her roommate. They are in a dorm where you had to sign a "wellness contract" that you don't drink, do drugs, etc. Found out roommate was a partier in high school--so why be in that dorm as a request? Also, roommate has asked my dd if it is ok if bf stays on Thursday night. My dd said ok, so now instead of sleeping with someone she doesn't know (which freaks her out), she now has to have a boy she doesn't know in the room. BTW, this isn't legal. If the RA finds out he is there, he will be kicked out. Am I bad mom to write an email to the RS and let her know? Yeah. I won't, but seriously this isn't fair to my dd, but she would never say anything.

College sucks.

Hugs to you! That sucks about the roommate!!! Hopefully your dd will find a great person to hang out with outside of her room. I know that isn't ideal but she may be happier. Hope you have a great visit with her.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

DD leaves next Tuesday and I'm so ready for her to be gone. She's been so nasty lately. I don't know if it's because she's nervous and scared and sad about leaving but so help me God, if she doesn't stop snapping at me I think I might hand her her head. I'm emotional as it is, but even when I tried to calmly speak to her she kept it up. I finally told her to go away. I've had enough. Now, this isn't necessarily a new thing, as it's happened occasionally, but it just seems worse now. Or are my emotions wound so tight that I'm taking everything personally? This stinks! This is not the way I wanted our last few days together to be.

 

[tajz90]

DD leaves next Tuesday and I'm so ready for her to be gone. She's been so nasty lately. I don't know if it's because she's nervous and scared and sad about leaving but so help me God, if she doesn't stop snapping at me I think I might hand her her head. I'm emotional as it is, but even when I tried to calmly speak to her she kept it up. I finally told her to go away. I've had enough. Now, this isn't necessarily a new thing, as it's happened occasionally, but it just seems worse now. Or are my emotions wound so tight that I'm taking everything personally? This stinks! This is not the way I wanted our last few days together to be.

My mom says that a teenagers bad attitude is natures gift that allows us to let them go

 

[elgerber]

My mom says that a teenagers bad attitude is natures gift that allows us to let them go

I kinda wish mine had that then, because I feel like I am dying. I have tried to be positive, but since I left her yesterday I haven't eaten and barely slept. My eyes are swollen, and I physically ache. I don't know why I can't deal with it as well as everyone else, but I am totally broken. I know my husband is annoyed that I didn't snap out of it right away. If I could just hear from her that she is ok, maybe that would help, but so far all I have heard is a two word text in response to mine.

 

[sk!mom]

My baby is sad. Yesterday, she and her dad drove up. He took an RV and trailered her car. She was texting me last night begging to transfer to another school. The school she wanted to move to was one I had wanted her to go to all along. It was closer, and I think a better fit for her. The drive was long yesterday--9+ hours so she feels like she is in the middle of no where. I told her tough it out one semester, and if she felt the same way later she could transfer.

So got a call this morning. LOL. I had told her many times to be careful what she packed as the rooms are small. She called to let me know she actually didn't have much compared to other people. HAH. I go up tomorrow to take her out to dinner, pick up anything she has forgotten, etc. I'm going to take her some baked treats, so hopefully the tearful texts, calls won't go on for very long.

I already don't like her roommate. They are in a dorm where you had to sign a "wellness contract" that you don't drink, do drugs, etc. Found out roommate was a partier in high school--so why be in that dorm as a request? Also, roommate has asked my dd if it is ok if bf stays on Thursday night. My dd said ok, so now instead of sleeping with someone she doesn't know (which freaks her out), she now has to have a boy she doesn't know in the room. BTW, this isn't legal. If the RA finds out he is there, he will be kicked out. Am I bad mom to write an email to the RS and let her know? Yeah. I won't, but seriously this isn't fair to my dd, but she would never say anything.

College sucks.

I am so sorry! I don't even know what to say about the roommate. I would guess she's in that dorm because her parents wanted it. Hopefully if there are those requirements on the dorm then the RAs are alert to those breaking the rules. Does the University have new student activities going on? If they do. encourage her to get out and attend. The activities have helped my DD settle in and meet people.

DD leaves next Tuesday and I'm so ready for her to be gone. She's been so nasty lately. I don't know if it's because she's nervous and scared and sad about leaving but so help me God, if she doesn't stop snapping at me I think I might hand her her head. I'm emotional as it is, but even when I tried to calmly speak to her she kept it up. I finally told her to go away. I've had enough. Now, this isn't necessarily a new thing, as it's happened occasionally, but it just seems worse now. Or are my emotions wound so tight that I'm taking everything personally? This stinks! This is not the way I wanted our last few days together to be.

My DD had a bit of a rough patch just before we left on vacation. I told DH that her attitude was certainly making her impending departure easier. She got over it though and we had a wonderful trip and a drama free few days at home before her move. I wish the same for you! It helped for me to remember that although DD was completely excited she had to be stressed as well. After all, she was the 18 year old moving 4 hours from everyone she knows to start a new life- school, job, everything. Hang in there mom!

I kinda wish mine had that then, because I feel like I am dying. I have tried to be positive, but since I left her yesterday I haven't eaten and barely slept. My eyes are swollen, and I physically ache. I don't know why I can't deal with it as well as everyone else, but I am totally broken. I know my husband is annoyed that I didn't snap out of it right away. If I could just hear from her that she is ok, maybe that would help, but so far all I have heard is a two word text in response to mine.

I'm so sad for you! My brother and sil left their only child yesterday and they are having a very tough time too. I don't know why the hardest days for me were the three prior to the move- crocodile tears those days- but since I've been OK. DD's "I love it here!" texts have no doubt helped. We left her Sunday and I lasted until Tuesday night before I texted and asked her to call when she had some free time. She called yesterday afternoon and we had such a great talk. Maybe try that.

Hugs to everyone during this difficult transition time!

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Thank you all for your reassurance. And yes, it is making it easier for her to go.

Elgerber, I'm sure I will be like you next week. DD moves in at 10 a.m. on Tuesday. We have to be off campus by 1-1:30 because she gets on a bus and goes to a freshman camping trip. No phones, no electronics. She'll be back late Thursday night and then immediately attends a dorm meeting. The first week or so is packed, every day with must attend and optional events. And a day trip to Ocean City, NJ. She's worried she won't sleep at all because she'll be so sad to be away. I told her she'll be more than exhausted and should sleep every chance she gets. And while those jam packed days will be great for her, and help her transition, it will be hard on me, because I probably won't hear from her much. Which is a good thing given past instances of her homesickness when she was younger. But I'm on vacation the entire week, with no plans. I'm going to drive myself crazy with nothing to do but think about her. I need to get a game plan in place. Then again, if she keeps up this attitude, I may not miss her at all.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Just came across this article and wanted to share:

http://patch.com/new-jersey/springf...your-children-go-away-to-college#.U_Y57fldWSo

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Just came across this article and wanted to share:

http://patch.com/new-jersey/springf...your-children-go-away-to-college#.U_Y57fldWSo

I saw that article a few days ago and it really helped me.

I was really messed up the past few days. Our daughter moved in Sunday, and this is the first day I haven't cried at all. In fact, I've gone about 29 hours without an emotional fit at this point.

But I think I've gotten past all that now. I still miss her, but we all stay in contact through text and social media. Plus we'll see her at football games and breaks. And she's only an hour away.

Neither my wife nor my son aren't nearly as upset as I am, or if they are, they aren't expressing it as much. I think my wife did most of her crying last fall during the start of senior year.

 

[Gr8t Fan]

DD leaves next Tuesday and I'm so ready for her to be gone. She's been so nasty lately. I don't know if it's because she's nervous and scared and sad about leaving but so help me God, if she doesn't stop snapping at me I think I might hand her her head. I'm emotional as it is, but even when I tried to calmly speak to her she kept it up. I finally told her to go away. I've had enough. Now, this isn't necessarily a new thing, as it's happened occasionally, but it just seems worse now. Or are my emotions wound so tight that I'm taking everything personally? This stinks! This is not the way I wanted our last few days together to be.

My mom says that a teenagers bad attitude is natures gift that allows us to let them go

I was so happy to see your post (in a weird sort of way). I kept reading about all of these great kids and parents that will miss them so, and felt like an outsider. This past year with our DD was so trying on our entire family that we were happy to see her off to college so there can be peace again at home. And we're hoping that the time away will do us all some good.

I kinda wish mine had that then, because I feel like I am dying. I have tried to be positive, but since I left her yesterday I haven't eaten and barely slept. My eyes are swollen, and I physically ache. I don't know why I can't deal with it as well as everyone else, but I am totally broken. I know my husband is annoyed that I didn't snap out of it right away. If I could just hear from her that she is ok, maybe that would help, but so far all I have heard is a two word text in response to mine.

My DD had plenty to spare but, trust me, you don't want any for your DD .

I hope you hear from your DD when she has a few minutes to talk. I know the first week is a whirlwind of activities, so a short text may be all she can muster right now.

 

[elgerber]

I hope you hear from your DD when she has a few minutes to talk. I know the first week is a whirlwind of activities, so a short text may be all she can muster right now.

Not even a short text yet today , not helping stop the tears.

 

[Gina]

Well, my bird is officially in his new nest, and I'm home in my empty one. It finally hit me that he isn't just gone overnight... or for a few days... but just.. gone. I'm not doing well with that fact.

But he's beyond happy, and I'm trying to cling to that. I'm SO happy we went a day early and had so much together yesterday on the island. We both really had a ball.


Here are some before pictures of his room:

And after:

 

[Gina]

Just a few more pics. Sorry for so many -- but I love seeing the pics from other dorms and campuses myself so thought I'd share the ones I took today.

This is the lobby and kitchen of his residence hall, and the courtyard outside the lobby:

And at the end of each hall there is a quiet study area and a different piece of exercise equipment, and since DS' room is the last one in the hall this is niely right outside:

 

[Pembo]

We are home and my baby is in his new nest. I'll post pics tomorrow of the before and after. DS went to check in and see his room as we started unloading the car. I get a text - "oh noes it's a prison cell". LOL It did look a bit sparse but he has loads of storage space. It was a long day of sporadic tears. We made the final goodbye quick. He is so excited and his roommate seems very nice.

Can't wait to hear from him.....

 

[PrincessKsMom]

DD and I had a chat tonight. She apologized. Said she's super stressed and getting depressed when someone cries about her going away. When she sees me cry she really is having a hard time with it. And when she says goodbye to her friends, she gets upset. So now, as I always have, I am in the role of cheerleader, supporter and rock of strength. I will lose it when all is said and done and she is settled in. But for her, I will do what I have to do. And I'm happy she apologized.

for us all.

 

[IDoDis]

Just a few more pics. Sorry for so many -- but I love seeing the pics from other dorms and campuses myself so thought I'd share the ones I took today. This is the lobby and kitchen of his residence hall, and the courtyard outside the lobby: And at the end of each hall there is a quiet study area and a different piece of exercise equipment, and since DS' room is the last one in the hall this is niely right outside:

Ohhh, I love the look of the floors and it all seems quite roomy. What beautiful views from the windows, too! It all came together rather nicely! The closet space is small, but probably perfect for a guy. The room is nice and not a like a prison cell! How long has your DS played guitar?

 

[IDoDis]

DD and I had a chat tonight. She apologized. Said she's super stressed and getting depressed when someone cries about her going away. When she sees me cry she really is having a hard time with it. And when she says goodbye to her friends, she gets upset. So now, as I always have, I am in the role of cheerleader, supporter and rock of strength. I will lose it when all is said and done and she is settled in. But for her, I will do what I have to do. And I'm happy she apologized. for us all.

That's good news! Just keep swimming like a duck -- calm and collective on the surface, but paddling like heck underneath! How far away from home will she be, again? Hopefully it's not too far and she can come home once in a while.