parents not suing

[Poohforyou]

I put a value on a trip. Not on a life.

No, I don't have children. But I have plenty of people in my life I love dearly.

There's no comparison between losing a child and losing someone you love dearly. I've lost more family and friends than I care to think about but all combined they don't equal the grief I imagine I'd feel if I lost my child.

 

[DizBelle]

It's not the same...not even close. The love a parent has for their child is very different.

So parents of adopted children and step parents love those children differently. I didn't realize that.

 

[mom2rtk]

So parents of adopted children and step parents love those children differently. I didn't realize that.

They are still parents.

 

[gwynne]

So parents of adopted children and step parents love those children differently. I didn't realize that.

That is a rather peculiar and unpleasant post.

Families find each other in many ways. However it happens, the circle of love is big. And that is a blessing.

 

[MainMom]

So parents of adopted children and step parents love those children differently. I didn't realize that.

That child is still THEIR child.

 

[PlainJane]

So parents of adopted children and step parents love those children differently. I didn't realize that.

I understand you might feel like you're receiving a lot of negative attention for your post, but this is really a hurtful reach, I know that is not at all what the poster you quoted was suggesting. My brother is adopted and I am not. My parents love us both dearly. When you become a parent, it doesn't matter the circumstances, it is your child.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

 

[ronandannette]

I understand you might feel like you're receiving a lot of negative attention for your post, but this is really a hurtful reach, I know that is not at all what the poster you quoted was suggesting. My brother is adopted and I am not. My parents love us both dearly. When you become a parent, it doesn't matter the circumstances, it is your child.

You're right that this tangent was spawned off the responses to the PP's comment about a comped Disney vacation. The Graves' situation was so horrifying and beyond comprehension that there are some people that simply cannot gasp the enormity of it and attempt to make sense of it by equating it to much more mundane situations. It was the same in the "Boy in the gorilla cage" incident, and in the tragedy we were personally close to. Much of what's said is nonsense (especially on an anonymous Internet forum). The only real response is to ignore it and pray that those people never have an experience of their own that changes their perspective.

 

[cabanafrau]

Wowza, a whole lotta hubris going on here. Curious topic to display it.

 

[mnrose]

There's no comparison between losing a child and losing someone you love dearly. I've lost more family and friends than I care to think about but all combined they don't equal the grief I imagine I'd feel if I lost my child.

No kidding. When you lose a spouse, you are widow/widower. When you lose a parent, you are an orphan. When you lose a child, there isn't even a word for it. I have a dear friend who lost her child to cancer. There is nothing so horrific as watching your 12 year old leave this earth before they've had a chance to grow up. Nothing. And, that someone could even suggest that this loss could be somehow "made up" by a trip, well, I can't even....

 

[DizBelle]

That is a rather peculiar and unpleasant post.

Families find each other in many ways. However it happens, the circle of love is big. And that is a blessing.

I TOTALLY agree with you. It's others that don't. I was stating what THEY were pointing out.

 

[DizBelle]

I understand you might feel like you're receiving a lot of negative attention for your post, but this is really a hurtful reach, I know that is not at all what the poster you quoted was suggesting. My brother is adopted and I am not. My parents love us both dearly. When you become a parent, it doesn't matter the circumstances, it is your child.

I think it is precisely what they were suggesting. If it wasn't, then they stated their position very, very poorly. I suggest they come back and clarify.

 

[DizBelle]

No kidding. When you lose a spouse, you are widow/widower. When you lose a parent, you are an orphan. When you lose a child, there isn't even a word for it. I have a dear friend who lost her child to cancer. There is nothing so horrific as watching your 12 year old leave this earth before they've had a chance to grow up. Nothing. And, that someone could even suggest that this loss could be somehow "made up" by a trip, well, I can't even....

I NEVER suggested that could be "made up by a trip". I only suggested that reimbursing for the ruined trip and comping another trip could offer some measure of consolation. Not much. But some.

 

[SirDuff]

I think it is precisely what they were suggesting. If it wasn't, then they stated their position very, very poorly. I suggest they come back and clarify.

If they had said BIRTH parent, you'd have a point. But they didn't. So you don't.

 

[Poohforyou]

So parents of adopted children and step parents love those children differently. I didn't realize that.

My dh and I adopted our almost 17 yo dd at 9 months. We are her parents, she is our child. Not having a genetic connection doesn't change that. I can't imagine a greater loss in my life than losing her.

The point people are making is that losing a child isn't the same as losing a parent, aunt, uncle friend, spouse or even a sibling.

Until you've actually experienced being a parent you can't know that love and bond.

 

[fly girl]

I think it is precisely what they were suggesting. If it wasn't, then they stated their position very, very poorly. I suggest they come back and clarify.

I don't think anyone stated that. They said their child, not their birth child. Your kid is your kid, no matter how they came into your life.

I NEVER suggested that could be "made up by a trip". I only suggested that reimbursing for the ruined trip and comping another trip could offer some measure of consolation. Not much. But some.

No way is offering to pay for 2 trips a consolation.

IMHO, that is a slap in the face if a company would do that. It feels like a callous and cold brush off that they don't value the life lost or the tragedy that occurred.

You keep saying you're so pragmatic, so then do you feel that others who disagree and feel it's worth more are impractical and asking too much?

 

[cabanafrau]

I think it is precisely what they were suggesting. If it wasn't, then they stated their position very, very poorly. I suggest they come back and clarify.

I can tell you I didn't find a scintilla of that suggestion in what they posted and see no need for clarification there myself.

 

[Poohforyou]

I put a value on a trip. Not on a life.

If any statement needs clarifying it's this one. I don't even know where to go with this.

 

[PollyannaMom]

If any statement needs clarifying it's this one. I don't even know where to go with this.

I thought it meant there was no way to place a value on the child's life (or make anyone feel better with money they would feel guilty spending) so all they could do was make sure the family wasn't still paying off the horrible trip afterward.

(I didn't really understand about the second trip, because I'm one who couldn't go back, but I get that there are others who might want to go back as a memorial, so I ignored that part.)

But after reading more, I am rather lost and don't understand the whole adoption tangent, so maybe I was wrong in the first place.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I can't even...