parents- any advice for when to stop big birthday parties for kids

[aprilgail2]

It depends around here. Mostly is starts to wain about middle school but some kids do continue to do them and we did a couple pool/birthday parties a bit older. Thing is....your child is to the age where it is very important for you to continue to know his friends and if he wants to have a party where you can do that...by all means consider it flattery. I would caution you to guard against his being embarrassed by his friends thinking it a "kid" party. Skip the kid invites, maybe let him text or do very simple post card invites. Make it more of getting together for laser tag than a party. Be sure to use more mature paper products and a cake theme that is not kiddish in any way. Have more teen like finger foods or pizza and let them enjoy it as a fun hang out.

Oh I totally agree-no party invites--a group text is what they do at that age! And typically it's not done at that age as a "party" in laser tag- they usually go to laser tag then stop someplace and eat, my daughters last laser tag party they took them to Applebee's after it. My daughter and her friends went to chilis after her last party and I went next door to houlhans with a friend of mine so we were not hanging around the same restaurant to "cramp their style" lol.

 

[MomToOne]

Like at least one other poster, at about age 10 or so I started giving my DD (now 13) the budget and letting her decide what to do with it. She generally just elects to have a "Mom and Daughter" day with lunch and shopping at the mall, but if she wanted a party that'd be perfectly fine by me.

Your kids are absolutely in touch with what's "acceptable" and "cool" at this age. If your DS wants a laser tag party, and it's in your budget, then go for it.

 

[tvguy]

DS had a sleep over , Laser tag and video game competition at our house for his 18th. 6 boys. The laser tag and video games weren't so bad, the $120 worth of pizza at home, $40 of Taco Bell at 2 am did shock me. DW fixed pancakes, eggs, bacon and sausage for breakfast the next morning. 3 pounds of bacon, 2 pounds of sausage, 2 dozen eggs and about 50 pancakes.



Rented a bounce house for DD's 16th. DD and her friends kept saying for months afterward that it was the most fun they had had at a birthday party in years.

 

[bigmama67]

DS turned 11 a couple of months ago. We had told him his 10th party (we had a pool party) was the last "big" one till his Bar Mitzvah. This time, he invited his whole class plus a few other kids to play Wii, and we got pizza and made ice cream sodas. We ended up with 11 or 12 kids in the basement...it was perfect and we definitely spent less than $100! We'll do something like that again, this year, unless he wants to take one or two friends to the movies. His birthday is in December, so most outings are tough.

DD was five last fall, and so far we've had her parties in the backyard and invited everyone we can think of. (We don't have family in the area so we invite her pre-K class, friends and their kids). This year we paid $20 for the gelato truck to stop by and then we paid for the treats for all who wanted it. Other than that we just got brunch food. It's always a little cool in mid-October, but it's worked out so far. Unless/until she asks for something different, we'll continue in that vein (she'll be starting K this year so that may change!)

 

[kirstenb1]

Around 10, maybe 11----anyway, we do them through elementary school then stop. That seems to be pretty typical where we live.

 

[danygirl]

We've done parties for high school kids. If this is what your son wants and it is in your budget why not?

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

When DS turned 13 we took him and 5 friends to Great Wolf Lodge for the night. I can't remember what we did for 14. For 15 a friend threw him a surprise party. For 16 we took him and 4 friends to Dave & Buster's for dinner and games, and we brought in a custom cake. For 17 a friend invited a bunch of people to her house. He just turned 18 2 weeks ago. So far we haven't done anything because he is so busy we haven't had time. Not even for dinner out!

 

[LisaInNc]

I used to do big parties for my DD (they were partly for me and my friends to of we are being totally honest.) I had a lavish first birthday party for her that she does not remember but all of my bridesmaids attended

Once she got a little older I did and every other year thing. A ibg party one year and then a smaller one the next. My daughter is a Christmas Eve baby so we pick another time in the year to celebrate her.

For her 12th we just could not coordinate a weekend that she had free, I had free and her busy little friends all had free. I gave her $100 and she was thrilled it was far cheaper than whatever party we would have thrown.

She is 13 now and I have to say I am kind of done. I can see a nice dinner with a friend, or a sleepover but the days of the Princess parties are long gone. Truth is I can't take the kids. The eye rolling, the attitudes of most of them really upset me.

Lisa

 

[My2Qtz0205]

My son just turned 11, and my daughter just turned 8. I told them that age 10 was going to be the last big party until 13, then 16. I gave in to DS this year and let him have a party at an indoor mini-golf place. My problem is getting RSVP's from people! It has been so horrible this year, that I am just done. There were 30 horrible minutes that we thought nobody was coming to DD's party this year, until our neighbor showed up late. I told them from now on they can invite one or two friends to do something special with them for their birthday, and I have to be able to contact the parents myself. No more anonymous classmates.

 

[Disney Addicted]

My kids are turning 10 (April) and 15 (June) and are doing the opposite of what I thought they'd do!

Wild Water Kingdom has tickets on WagJag for $15 (good until end of June). We went last year and had a blast. So I suggested to my daughter that she invite 3 friends and have her birthday there. Nope...

She (turning 15) wants a laser tag party. Ohh, and invite boys as well which I guess I should have expected.

My son (turning 10) loves the Wild Water Kingdom idea. He wants to post-pone his birthday (which is April) and have it in June instead.

 

[princess barbara]

OP here- thanks for all the replies. Some of the posts were right on with what I've experienced especially the RSVP situation. A laser tag date where we live has to be booked in advance with a certain number of kids. It's not just walk-in as the chances would be high a group is split up.

Last year we tried a big party after sending out post card type invites and about 2/3 never replied. We ended up having to cancel as son's basketball team had to travel out of town for playoffs. The year before we had to cancel the night before due to a huge blizzard.

I actually like the idea of waiting til nice weather i.e. end of the school year and doing something then outside. I'm always volunteering as I think I'm one of the few stay at home moms left in our town so I know all his friends and they know me too.

 

[pyrxtc]

I am all for big birthday parties for as long as the kids want to have them.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

Two years ago, I swore off big parties for my kids. My youngest was in K, turning 6, and wanted to invite all his classmates to the local gymnastics place for a party. Invited all 17 other kids - something like 3 or 4 showed up. It was $175 for the party, plus the cake, paper products, party favors, so well over $200. Last year, I made a deal with him that I made with our older son a few years ago; he was dying to have an iPod Touch, so I told him I'd tell the family to give him Target gc, and whatever he was short, I'd pitch in, in lieu of the "friend party." This year, we took 4 of his friends to McD's for lunch and to see the LEGO movie this past Saturday. They had a blast and the 4 extra kids probably cost $60 total. Cheap party, IMO!

My oldest had 5 friends sleep over when he turned 10. Last year he picked one friend and we took them for go-karting, arcade and mini-golf, then fro-yo.

We still do a nice family party - my sister's family and my parents live in the same city, so we have dinner and cake and celebrate together.

 

[jgreco]

My kids birthdays are beginning of January & June. No one was ever around anyway- always away on holiday. Since we live in Florida, we always gave them the choice of WDW or a party. They always chose WDW, and probably would have cost the same as the party.

 

[ccgirl]

When our girls hit middle school we would let them invite a friend and do a outing. Go to SF, Beach, Spa day (nails, pedicure), Great America. All of these cost less then the Bounce houses or Laser Tag place. They usally include lunch or dinner and a sleepover.

This.

 

[Stinkerbell1973]

We've always done big parties for DD, mostly because we have a big family and our closest friends all had kids at the same time we did! Until this past September, DD has never invited her school friends and this year she did (she turned 9).

We put in a pool over the late fall/early winter so this year will be a pool party on a MUCH smaller scale. I told her she could invite 4-5 friends over and she could have a couple sleep over. She is TOTALLY thrilled about that and is already making plans for her late summer pool party when she turns 10. We live in the south so the weather should be perfect!

This is going to likely be the way we go from now on. Pizza, cake and a pool! Very excited about the smaller parties.

 

[tcherjen]

We have always done vacations with the older two. Both their b-days are in May. Youngest has had one b-day party with friends. We like to go away so it works out better for us.