Parenting trends you dislike?

[momz]

Seven year old (neurotypical) riding in strollers.

 

[goofyernmost]

Yes and no. Around here the problem is that if you are not doing calculus by 5th grade and Quantum Mechanics by 7th you are complete failure. What gets beaten into young children is that you should be on developing a startup tech company that is rolling out the next big thing during your college years ... If you don't do this what are you doing? Wasting time? You should be pulling in 100 million in venture capital by your senior year.

I'm talking about realistic expectations not something that society suddenly decides is what everyone needs to be. I think praise is important, in fact, even though my girls are both pushing 50 I still tell them how proud I am of them and also when they are acting like idiots. I really shouldn't be doing that since they are the ones that will be picking out my nursing home, but it's the way we have always been.

 

[prairie_girl]

Buying gifts for every holiday (Valentine's Day will be the next one) and posting them on social media. And the posts prior to the holiday stressing "What do I get little Jimmy for Valentine's Day this year?!?"

Cue all the Easter posts LOL

 

[goofyernmost]

I literally read an article the other day talking about why babies should be given regular cups instead of sippy cups because it promotes proper lip movement.

I have to say that whomever wrote that article had to have been high or at the very least had run out of anything intelligent to say, so they came up with the dumbest sentence ever published.

If they are still using a "sippy" cup at age 5 or younger when they have their motor skills maybe a problem will exist. The sippy cup is made more for the benefit of the parent then the kid. It is primarily to buy some time for those skills to develop so parents don't have to spend half their lives cleaning up spills.

 

[MillauFr]

I'm talking about realistic expectations not something that society suddenly decides is what everyone needs to be.

Exactly. The expectation are completely unreasonable around here. My daughter didn't make it to Calculus and college Physics until senior year of high school. Not good enough to get into the University of Washington. Plenty of high school students with 4.0 GPAs in Washington that are rejected for admission to UW. Attitude at the high school was maybe math and science aren't for her. We sent her out of state to a liberal arts school.

 

[goofyernmost]

Cue all the Easter posts LOL

I was an adult in my early 20's and married before I realized that people gave gifts other then candy on Easter. It came as a total surprise to me since my family never did that at all.

 

[prairie_girl]

I was an adult in my early 20's and married before I realized that people gave gifts other then candy on Easter. It came as a total surprise to me since my family never did that at all.

I totally agree. Especially when the gifts are things like towels and bathing suits, regular shopping items in my house.

 

[Aimeedyan]

I have to say that whomever wrote that article had to have been high or at the very least had run out of anything intelligent to say, so they came up with the dumbest sentence ever published.

If they are still using a "sippy" cup at age 5 or younger when they have their motor skills maybe a problem will exist. The sippy cup is made more for the benefit of the parent then the kid. It is primarily to buy some time for those skills to develop so parents don't have to spend half their lives cleaning up spills.

To be fair, there is plenty of research on straw cup over a sippy cup, and urging parents to use a straw cup instead. That is probably what that person was referring to. It was the first thing my son's speech therapist asked when she met with us (does he use a sippy?) and the first thing she corrects when she gets a new client. It affects how their mouth/tongue develop and how they use them in early speech.

The straw cup offers the same parent benefit of a sippy but is more developmentally appropriate.

(and yes, we did introduce an open cup first around 7 months of age and he mastered it easily, but we use a straw cup to help prevent messes.)

 

[Lilsia]

To be fair, there is plenty of research on straw cup over a sippy cup, and urging parents to use a straw cup instead. That is probably what that person was referring to. It was the first thing my son's speech therapist asked when she met with us (does he use a sippy?) and the first thing she corrects when she gets a new client. It affects how their mouth/tongue develop and how they use them in early speech.

The straw cup offers the same parent benefit of a sippy but is more developmentally appropriate.

(and yes, we did introduce an open cup first around 7 months of age and he mastered it easily, but we use a straw cup to help prevent messes.)

I really think that the problem with the sippy cups is that people use them too long. As Goofyernmost said, they are supposed to be transitional. But it is just easier to give even older kids sippy cups then let them learn how to drink properly. A lot of things that we are seeing that are causing issues is because of parenting laziness. Someone needs to tell potential parents that parenting is non stop work. It is hard teaching a human being every single thing that they need to know. Parenting is not for everyone.

 

[Aimeedyan]

.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

This look.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I was an adult in my early 20's and married before I realized that people gave gifts other then candy on Easter. It came as a total surprise to me since my family never did that at all.

I totally agree. Especially when the gifts are things like towels and bathing suits, regular shopping items in my house.

I'm laughing at these because we always did mix in some non-candy things for DS...because I was worried about too much candy! And my mom (back in the 70s) used summer clothes to line baskets...because she hated that plastic grass with a passion! Definitely not about trying to do "more" though.

This look.

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I'm glad that wasn't trendy when I was a baby. I'm told I hated having anything on my head!

 

[slo]

I don’t want to overly criticize someone’s parenting skills, because I’m sure people are criticizing mine, but one big annoyance with me are parents who don’t teach their children to respect the rules of the place they are at. Then they take it one step further and encourage their kids to break that rule because they don’t like it. I will never understand this. How about teaching your kids that you may not like some rules, but the rule is the rule - deal with it!

 

[anniemae]

Giving kids a phone when they are too young. I have seen so many parents just hand their kids phones as b-day gifts and that's it. No guidelines, no screen limits, no internet talk, no blocking apps etc. Kids learn too much too fast through the internet and unlimited access to their phones.

 

[indimom]

Not a particular trend, but the concept that there is any "one way" to raise a child vs. reading your child's cues, learning about them as they learn about the world and adapting your parenting to fit their needs.

I'll use myself as an example. When I had my first, I truly believed that a fussy baby needed to be soothed by rocking, bouncing, walking, singing, etc. Until we had our make-or-break moment when she just wouldn't stop crying and I was exhausted, and I finally put her in her bed and walked away... and she fell asleep within minutes of being left alone. The lightbulb turned on and I realized I was overstimulating that baby. Our fussy periods went much better after I learned to just lay her down and wait out the few minutes of crying vs torturing us both.

But, there is so much "information" today telling parents they must do this or that, must feed on this or that schedule, must put a toddler down to sleep at xyz time.... and none of it is 100% concrete fact, because children are not all the same. Be open to new ideas, don't panic if the baby isn't eating a certain number of oz or your 3yo wants to eat more than the experts recommend (just make sure it isn't all junk, lol). And this goes for all ages and stages... milestones and averages are helpful, but allow for our inherent differences.

 

[anniemae]

Not a particular trend, but the concept that there is any "one way" to raise a child vs. reading your child's cues, learning about them as they learn about the world and adapting your parenting to fit their needs.

I'll use myself as an example. When I had my first, I truly believed that a fussy baby needed to be soothed by rocking, bouncing, walking, singing, etc. Until we had our make-or-break moment when she just wouldn't stop crying and I was exhausted, and I finally put her in her bed and walked away... and she fell asleep within minutes of being left alone. The lightbulb turned on and I realized I was overstimulating that baby. Our fussy periods went much better after I learned to just lay her down and wait out the few minutes of crying vs torturing us both.

But, there is so much "information" today telling parents they must do this or that, must feed on this or that schedule, must put a toddler down to sleep at xyz time.... and none of it is 100% concrete fact, because children are not all the same. Be open to new ideas, don't panic if the baby isn't eating a certain number of oz or your 3yo wants to eat more than the experts recommend (just make sure it isn't all junk, lol). And this goes for all ages and stages... milestones and averages are helpful, but allow for our inherent differences.

Yes! The parenting books as well as other parents, make you feel like a failure if your child does not co-sleep with you, eat home made organic food, be potty trained at a certain age, read at a certain age....... and on and on. It is so overwhelming and when my kids were little, I wish I didn't stress so much about these trivial things that mean nothing by the time they are in high school.

 

[mjkacmom]

That actually doesn't sound that ridiculous to me. Of course it doesn't mean that adults who used sippy cups don't know how to drink properly, but it may contribute as one of the reasons why it seems like everyone needs braces today. We know that diet and mouth breathing/tongue posture cause crooked teeth and other health issues, so it would make sense that using sippy cups for years would have similar results.

The reason everyone needs braces today is because crooked teeth are no longer accepted. Looks at movies and TV shows as late as the 1980’s, very few actors had perfect teeth. My parents and grandparents didn’t have perfect teeth, I do, my sister does, our kids do. My husband doesn’t because his teeth weren’t bad enough for braces in the 70’s, but of course they’ve shifted. I know many my age who’ve used invisilign because they fell into this category, not needing braces back in the day because their teeth were “ok” but as adults they weren’t perfect.

 

[DisneyHardin]

Parents who judge other parents for doing things differently than they did them.

 

[goofysbigboy]

People not raising their own children, and then telling everyone how great their daycare is. Adjust your work schedules so a parent or relative raises your kids. It's not all about you or your career. OLD SCHOOL

 

[Forevermarypoppins]

Criticizing of everyone who differs from their own opinions. There is not much of raising a child that is easy. Learn as you go for most of us.
I think back to when I was childless and thought "my kids won't do that and I'll never ler my kids xyz" Reality is, yeah, it's going to happen and yes, you will.