Pacifier question...do kids just give it up?

[mtemm]

I'm reading the other thread about how to get rid of their child's pacifier and one person said to let them have it, they'll give it up when they are ready. It got me thinking...do kids just give it up when they are ready? Has anybody had this happen? At what age did they do it? Did they hand it to the mom or dad or did they just throw it out or just stop using it and leave it around?

My daughter will be 2 in march and only uses her binkie when she is sleeping (we have always just kept them in her crib, she's never used it except there). I have no idea when I should get rid of her binky or how. Should I cut it out now while she's still fairly young, or will she really just give it up spontaneously??

 

[Sandy V.]

I think that it depends on the kid. Our DS spit his out at 6-8 months and wanted no part of it from that point on. So, yes, he DID quit on his own. DD, though, had it beyond her 2nd birthday and wouldn't have given it up without our "help".

Since your daughter is still under 2 and she only uses it in her crib, I don't see the harm in her continuing to have it for a while longer. But as you can see, people have some pretty strong opinions on this one!!

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I think that a large majority of kids will naturally give it up as they learn comforting methods other than sucking. There are some who will continue to comfort themselves past the age of 2 or 3 by sucking -- on their fingers, a thumb, or a pacifier.

I only had one child who wanted a pacifier past the age of 15 or 16 months. I wasn't comfortable with letting him continue that on through toddlerhood and I pitched them. He transferred his comforting method to hugging a stuffed Puppydog. He gave up sleeping with it and carrying it around at about age 4,

but he is now 15 years old and there is STILL a one-eyed raggedy puppy dog sitting on his bookshelf.

 

[DVCLiz]

Both of mine used them and LOVED them until they were three or so, maybe even close to four. I had to intervene, and it was a sad day when our "poppy" went away. Gee, it was so life-shattering at the time, but now I can't even remember what we did!!!!

 

[diznygirl]

I really don't know. DS started refusing his during a head cold when he was about 13 months. I kept putting it back in his mouth and he kept spitting it out before I finally wised up. Meanwhile, DD uses her thumb and is 2 and a 1/2 and shows no signs of stopping.

Old wives tales say they just lose it one day and don't care anymore.

 

[JoBird]

My son never would have given up his... he had to have one in his mouth and hold one in each hand at all times. Which made it tough when he woke up in the middle of the night with them all lost. I couldn't just feel around for one; all three had to be in their proper position or no sleeping was done.

Before his 3rd birthday, I got the idea that at Christmas that year, Santa was giving presents, but in return, my DS had to give Rudolph a present too. So when it was time to sit on Santa's lap, the "Mu-Mu's" were packaged up and given to Santa, for "Rudolph". He handed it over without any problems and I think I had a harder time than him! When he said anything about his "Mu-Mu's", he always just said, "Rudolph got Mu-Mu's?" and I would nod yes and turn my head so he couldn't see my eyes full of tears. I had helped him give up his most prized possession and it just about killed me.

 

[Disney Ella]

I wish mine had just decided to give them up! We decided to get rid of them when my two (twins) were 2 1/2. They only used them to get to sleep at that point. The first night without the pacifers was a terrible night! They cried for three hours straight before they finally went to sleep, and there was more crying for a few nights after, but then they adjusted. It might be rough at first, but being without the pacifer really won't kill her, no matter how much she might act like it will.

 

[Jessd]

My DD is almost 20 months old now and I think she gave hers up around 10 months. She never really used it too much during the day, just when she was going to sleep. As soon as she fell asleep, we took it out. Then, gradually, she just didn't need it anymore. She would start to spit it out when we tried to give it to her.

Funny thing, she found it the other day and was carrying it around licking it like a lollipop. She thought it was funny.

My boys held on to theirs longer. Probably about 13-14 months. But they gave them up on their own too.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

My DD2 realized the week of her 2nd birthday that I gave them to her for 2 reasons - to stop her from crying and to make her go to sleep - one day I gave it to her at bedtime while she was crying - she said "NO!" and threw it to the ground -

after this happened a couple of times - I stopped offering them but they were always where she could get to them if she wanted - I realized after a week - she had not used any of them even once and threw them away.

 

[mtemm]

thanks all. here is another related question. we plan to transfer her to a big girl bed this spring, probably right around her birthday. Should I wait try to get rid of the pacifier when we get rid of the crib, or should we just let her have it because it will help with that transition? She does sleep with a teddy and a baby doll so maybe she'll transfer to those?

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Have you tried putting her to bed without a pacifier to see what she will do?

My best advice would be to not make this into a huge deal unless she does. Otherwise, there really isn't a wrong way to do it. If you want to get rid of them now, that is fine. My advice would be to throw them out, and then live with the results of that over the next couple of nights.

Or if you prefer to wait until the big girl bed and have them magically disappear with the crib -- that is fine also.

Just remember that 2 year olds do not DIE from throwing tantrums.

 

[mrsv98]

Our Dd was 3 and still using them. One day, she was feeling her teeth and realized that they stuck out a bit. From then on she wanted nothing to do with the Nuk. Thankfully, her teeth moved back into place, now our biggest problem is the adult teeth coming in and the baby teeth not leaving!

Only you know how confident your DD is. If you think she can handle it, the move to the "big girl" bed might be an ideal time to toss em. Otherwise, let her transition and then start working on the pacifier. I know the "giving the pacie to XXX" (Rudolph, baby, etc) has worked well for a lot of people. Good luck, I think the transitions are harder on us then our little ones!

 

[RangerPooh]

My DD gave hers up at about 6 months. She just didn't want it one day and refused it from then on. In a way it was wonderful that she stopped it on her own but sadly it ended the encouragement to clam down.

 

[mtemm]

I wonder if we could leave it for the easter bunny? or maybe I should just leave well enough alone. I wish I knew the right answer. lol. Dh is all about keeping the status quo...don't rock the boat, I want to sleep, let her have it. I just don't know if its easier now or when she is older. If I knew she would just stop on her own I guess I could let it go, but sounds like there are no guarantees.

 

[PaulaSue]

I don't think all give them up by their choice, some need help, IMO.

My Girlfriend's DSs BOTH still use them and they are 4 1/2 years and 7 years old. That is correct what I typed. 7 years old The family has alot of issues at home and I am thinking this is one the easiest of them all.

 

[rt2dz]

Post #1 answer: My kids all gave up their pacifers on theor own. They just started refusing it. DS#1 was 4 1/2 months, but he never took it often in the first place. DS#2 was addicted to the thing the day he was born. He had a mjor sucking need. Then at 10 months, he took it out of his mouth and threw it at me. Did that all day any time I offered it. So I collected them all up and put them away. Next day, he didn't complain, so I threw them all out. Literally, one day he can't be without, the next he was done. DS#3 just turned 5 months; about a month ago he started to refuse it so I threw them all out a couple of weeks ago. Not missing 'em.

thanks all. here is another related question. we plan to transfer her to a big girl bed this spring, probably right around her birthday. Should I wait try to get rid of the pacifier when we get rid of the crib, or should we just let her have it because it will help with that transition? She does sleep with a teddy and a baby doll so maybe she'll transfer to those?

I would do it at once. My sis did this with my neice, "when you get a big girl bed, X isn't allowed". It was a seamless transfer, but one she was well prepped for.

 

[LadyyRedd]

A friend of mine held a "bye bye binky" party for her daughter. They bought a dozen or two helium balloons, tied the binky on it, had their daughter pick out a big prize at the toy store, and she got to have the toy in exchange for the binky. She held the balloons and let them go herself.

Kimya