This was it.
This was the day DS had looked forward to for 6 months. He was going to meet THEM.
No, not the Happy Maelstromers. At this point, we don’t even know those crazy people.
I’m talking about the Power Rangers. The stars of so many of those freaky movies we said we’d never let him watch back when he was two.
We’re still not crazy about him watching too much of the movies, but he has action figures galore. I know. We are a couple of oaks. I told ya earlier.
So anyway, I check my Times Guide and they are due to show up on New York Street at 1:15. Good. It was now about 1:00. We have plenty of time. We decide to head on over to Power Rangers Central. We are tired of doing the Run Walk thing across 50 miles of hot, crowded, mauve colored cement at the last minute and decide to play it safe just this once.
Turns out to be a good call.
We get to the corner where the Caravan O Heroes is supposed to show up and park our fannies in the heat. We notice a CM wandering around the perimeter and ask her where exactly we need to be to take in the full effect of the Thundah the Power Rangers will reign down upon the crowd.
She tells us the Rangers will come out and run to each of the four corners on the street. There they will do the sign and smile thing. Well, okay, not so much smile, but pose anyway.
DS was really hoping to see the Red Power Ranger. At what point did Red become Big Daddy of the group and why don’t the others stage a coup?
The CM told us she did not know which corner Red would run to and basically told us ya get what ya get. Fine, we say. With that, we do the inny minny miny moe thing and park our fannies on a deserted corner in the heat.
Let me stop and make one thing perfectly clear right now. At this point, we are the ONLY people here. No one else is around. Well, except for our friends, who have staked out another corner altogether hoping for Pink.
Yes, we are the Power Ranger faithful, showing up first and waiting in the heat. Trust me, it’s all for the boy. I could take ‘em or leave ‘em. They kinda freak me out with all that morphing into Megazoid action.
But there we sit.
Alone.
Planted firmly in the spot where we are supposed to be planted, according to Power Ranger Greeting etiquette. We have followed instructions and there is not another soul in sight. We shall be first in line. Yes. For once.
I glance at my watch. The big hand hits the number 2 and I swear, it’s like the human floodgates were opened in an instant. The roar of human voices grew louder and louder with each passing second. All at once, people start flying in from everywhere. Kids are screaming. Parents are jockeying for position. It was absolute and utter chaos. Remember the beach scene from Jaws where everyone is screaming and running and screaming and panicking? Well, there ya have it.
Welcome to The Four Corners of Insanity.
We stood firm. We were still first in line. Most people did line up behind us but for some strange reason, I notice lots more people decided to stand just parallel to us. Maybe they weren’t as organized as us, I think. Maybe they didn’t ask the nice CM where they needed to go like us, I think. Maybe they don’t know the line BEGINS with us, I think. I give them the benefit of the doubt and just conclude that they are indeed innocent and clueless.
And then it happens.
We hear music and the Power Rangers appear.
DS loses his little mind. He is whipped into a Power Rangers frenzy again and is READY. He has had that Golden Autograph Book ready for 15 minutes now. He is his Mother’s son. He has it turned to the exact page which shall be signed and has his pen in hand, ready for some Power Ranger action.
Then chaos ensues. A sweaty, ugly grown woman sportin’ a ponytail and a Perma Scowl tries to push my child out of the way.
Oh no she didn’t.
Lemme just say I have nothing against sweaty, ugly grown women sportin’ ponytails.
Normally.
In fact, I happen to be one of them myself every now and then.
But this one……she was different. She really, really tried my patience. So much so that I wanted to yank that ponytail like nobody’s business.
Anyway, Miss Perma Scowl then has the nerve to try to tell me that the line begins with HER group and that we need to get behind them. Well, she didn’t so much try to TELL me this as she tried to scream it at the top of her lungs.
But the funny thing was that she never made eye contact. She yelled at me while she looked right over the top of my head. She looked at my ears. Maybe she really liked my earrings and my ‘do. Maybe not. Maybe she wasn’t really all that. I guess that’s my thing. If you’re gonna try to railroad me, at least have the nerve to look me in the eye while you’re doing it.
These are indeed the aforementioned “innocent and clueless” people. Clueless maybe. Innocent, I think not.
I inform Miss Wannabe Line Cutter that she is wrong. We have been waiting for 15 minutes and were the first ones here. The line begins HERE, sistah. The CM said so, now back off.
Now, I am not much of a trouble maker. I’m just not. I’d much rather make someone laugh than make them mad. But that chick had my blood at a full rolling boil. Don’t mess with my baby. Especially when he is in a full Ranger lovin frenzy and had been waiting patiently and abiding by the rules and they hadn’t.
But the woman will not take no for an answer. We stand there throwing angry eyes back and forth, both of us not moving an inch.
I give her the stare down and tell her to bring it.
I am Steel. I will not be moved. Buy she’s in Crazy Mode and she’s not the only one. Within minutes, we were mobbed by “innocent” and clueless people trying to butt in front of us. I have never in my life seen such a crazy mob. It was a mosh pit.
What’s up with these people? They don’t even act like this in line for The Mouse! And he’s the Main Man.
It was MADNESS.
I thought I was gonna have to bust out some Ranger moves of my own. One of those weird Megazoids things would have come in handy right about then.
Thankfully I didn’t need it because right then a wonderful CM stepped up and intervened right on cue. She was the same one that had directed us to the corner of our choice 15 minutes earlier. We are SO glad to see her. She told Miss Perma Scowl to go to the back of the line. Then she yelled at the top of her lungs that the line began with us. If anyone wanted to meet the Ranger, they need to get in line behind my Little Man. DS smiled. I smiled. Perma Scowl growled. She tried to argue the CM down. Apparently New York Street is in the rough part of the neighborhood, because this CM was as tough as nails. The CM stared her down and said “Get your TAIL to the BACK of that line, lady right NOW or SO HELP ME I will JERK a KNOT IN IT!”
Or something like that.
Anyway, Perma Scowl finally got the picture and slithered away to the back, dragging her innocent and clueless kids behind her.
About that time, the Green Power Ranger ran up to DS and DD. DS turns to look at me. Green. We got Green, Mom. Red was waaaaaaaaay over there on the other corner. Oh well. Green’s good. We like green. Red stinks anyway, I tell DS. He just thinks he’s all that but Green’s the REAL hero.
You know, even as Green is signing the kids’ autograph books, he has to constantly wave off people who keep coming up and trying to push THEIR autograph books in his face. WHILE HE IS WRITING. He will not be disturbed, however, and all offenders are given the cold shoulder and told to get their tail to the end of the line.
We turn to go and DS wants to hop in Red’s line. I swear you know I love the boy because I actually agree. We hop in line and I start counting people ahead of us. I come to the conclusion that there is NO way we will get to the front before he has to go. I tell DS this. I tell him specifically that it will take a long time to get up there and not to be disappointed if Red has to leave before we can get to him.
Why don’t all parents tell their kids this? Just give them a little heads up warning to let them know what’s going on so they won’t be expecting it will happen with such certainty? I will never understand some people’s parenting styles, I guess.
We do end up making it very close to Red. Actually, we make it to within about 3 or 4 kids when the CM announces he will just start taking pics and not autographs now because it is almost time to go.
Maybe we will get there, maybe not. Again, with the don’t be disappointed speech. Two kids really take a long time with Red, taking multiple shots with him and jabbering away and the Mom can’t get the camera to work and did it flash…maybe it didn’t flash so just to be sure let’s take it again..only little man won’t smile now so we have to wait for a smile to be coaxed and then there it is. Red’s done. No more. He has to run. DS is somewhat upset but he is okay with it. At least we got a picture of him even if he was standing with another kid that’s not in our family.
But the kid in front of us is possessed. His father is possessed. With rage. Literal, fiery rage.
Rage that his little man waited in line and couldn’t see Red. Rage that the CM won’t make selfish Red get down off the Ranger Rover and come back to see Little Man. Rage that other kids got to see Red and not Little Man. And he wasn’t the only one. But the thing is that the more the parents screamed at the CM, the more their children screamed and cried. They were feeding off each other. It was absolute craziness the likes of which I never care to witness again.
Somebody please get me the heck outta here.
We leave Crazy Grown Up Street and head back up towards somewhere, anywhere but there. On the way out, we hear the drums and bass line of Mulch, Sweat and Shears.
Aaaaaaahhh yeah. Mama like.
I have to say I just LOVE this band. They totally rock Much more so than
Crocs. Okay, I drew the line with Steven Tyler, but they do rock more than Crocs.
Love ya Mel. Mean it. Even if ya show no love for the Banana Man.
The first time I ever heard them play was outside RNRC last year as the kids and I waited for DH to come out from his solo run. I have some really cute video of DS bustin a move to their version of I Shot the Sheriff. My personal favorite tune they play is Are You Gonna Be My Girl by the Jets. They absolutely and totally ROCK that song. Have to admit I was bustin a move or two to that one.
Only I didn’t video myself. Again, I may be stupid, but I ain’t THAT stupid.
I had to laugh because as I was jammin’ and waitin’, I look around and there are strollers galore parked with 2 or more tired, hot kids sitting in them, eating snacks and drinking Caprisuns while a single mid 30s parent stands behind the stroller, waiting for their other half to emerge from RNRC. While we wait, we all flail around to the beat.
Okay, the guys were flailing. The women were jammin’.
None of us know each other, but at that point in time, we are all one. We are all back in high school with big hair and mini skirts and tight rolled jeans, busting some killer moves on the gym floor as everyone stands around us in awe of our skillz.
We stop and listen and jam for awhile and everybody gets happy again. We forget about the Four Corners of Insanity and instead we remember The Magic.
DH is feelin’ the high school gym floor thing so much he jumps down and does the Worm.
Just kidding. It was the Running Man. That’s what he did.
Kidding again. Nothing. He did nothing.
From there, we make our way to the Indiana Jones stunt show stadium. We find a seat near the back just because we don’t feel like walking any more than we have to.
Hey, we’re tired. Don’t judge us.
Anyway, we sit down and the girl on stage starts asking for extras. DHF takes his wife’s hand and waves it in the air like mad. We all laugh, DHFW tells him to stop and then it happens.
“Yes, let’s see…for our NEXT volunteer, let’s have the Mom in the Red Shirt Waaaaaay up there come on down and join us on stage. Yes. You . Yes Maam. Come on down here.”
Yep. Busted.
Our friend tells her sweet hubby that he’s dead and makes her way down to the stage. He laughs for the rest of the show. Heck, we all laugh for the rest of the show. She seemed to really enjoy herself up there. NOT.
At least they gave her a free water for participatin’. Whooo Hooo! Now that’s what I call Benefits.
From there, we decide to head over to Lights Motors Action. It was pretty good I guess. Impressive enough. It was just sooo hot and it seemed to last soooo long. I did get some really cool pics though, I must say.
By this point in the afternoon, we were all just tired and hot and ready to go back to the hotel.
So we march march march our way out with all of humanity and notice the dark clouds rolling in.
Oh no.
Not again.
Up Next: Splash II: The Sequel. Will he or won’t he? 
It's rollin all over, 
laughing my head off 
, dancing everywhere 
laughing!!! I give you 6 cools!!!! 
You rock forever!! No, really. I mean it. Here's proof-- 
to eat their veggies at Sci Fi. But they never messed with the adults, it was just the kids. Apparently Jack Black wasn't the only one because we saw at least two other servers doing the same thing in cars near us. It really was funny.
My daughter wanted to see the yellow one (LionGirl!) and I convinced her that this was only the Delta Force crew- 
What can I say, she blinded me with Science?
Rock out!!!! Can't wait until next installment!!! 
