Over the top birthday cakes, parties and such

[JohnDaleswife]

So I went into our towns most wonderful bakery today to pick up my daughter's 1/4 sheet birthday cake and a few cupcakes for her party today. The lady had about 5 or 6 other cakes there waiting to be picked up as well. But one of the ones that I noticed the most was this most adorable 3-tier monkey baby shower cake. Soooooo cute!

When I was looking at it though she for some reason shared with me that this cake was for a party for around 20 people. She just couldn't understand why they ordered such a big cake. That cake she said could feed around 60-70 people!

She then stated to me that she thinks that its just the "thing" to do now to have a big cake at every event, but that this was good business for her. I know her and I don't think she would share this info and personal opinion with just everybody. So what do you think about people going over the top with birthday cakes, parties, ect. now days? It's like everyone is trying to out do the other. I spent around $150 for my daughter's party at home today.

 

[goingtowdwwithkiddos]

Well we all have different priorities of where we spend our money............for me no!!!! My son did want cupcakes though from a winner of cupcake wars and we spent about 70. That is still more than necessary but it was his birthday, what he wanted, and we can afford it.even if I could have made some way cheaper.

 

[Marionnette]

So I went into our towns most wonderful bakery today to pick up my daughter's 1/4 sheet birthday cake and a few cupcakes for her party today. The lady had about 5 or 6 other cakes there waiting to be picked up as well. But one of the ones that I noticed the most was this most adorable 3-tier monkey baby shower cake. Soooooo cute!

When I was looking at it though she for some reason shared with me that this cake was for a party for around 20 people. She just couldn't understand why they ordered such a big cake. That cake she said could feed around 60-70 people!

She then stated to me that she thinks that its just the "thing" to do now to have a big cake at every event, but that this was good business for her. I know her and I don't think she would share this info and personal opinion with just everybody. So what do you think about people going over the top with birthday cakes, parties, ect. now days? It's like everyone is trying to out do the other. I spent around $150 for my daughter's party at home today.

I think that if people want to spend money for cakes, parties, etc. then it's their business. Spending more money on an event doesn't make them a better person than the next guy. Just like spending less money doesn't make you a better person than them.

 

[CalDisneyMomof2]

I have a large family (typical party is 60-80 people most of whom are close family members)and love to entertain so I do occasionally spend a bit on parties. It's not to one up people - it's to have a good time with my loved ones and celebrate my kids' birthdays.

When it comes to cakes I like to buy a fancy cake for display (and to eat for whoever wants a piece) and cupcakes from Sam's Club that the kids are happy to have. So for 80 guests it ends up costing under $100.

I'm having my son a big party this year and my husband had a co-worker design the invites (they're INCREDIBLE btw- we're doing a Pixar theme) and he's printing them at work. My family has so many parties so everyone has tables and chairs that I won't have to rent. I buy candy the week after Halloween to get it super cheap. I buy Sodas around the holidays when they're on sale. My main cost will be food.

Not everyone has big parties to one up others. Most of our guests are family so no one has that mentality anyway. I have big parties because I love to entertain and be with my family.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

It is all relative. For my dd's birthday I bought store mix cupcakes for $1. The frosting was probably another buck.

 

[aliceindisneyland]

My mom was just telling me about someone who spent $1,000 on their one-year-old's birthday party. My first reaction was shock, but I quickly calculated the cost of our 3-4 day Disneyland trips for each of my kid's birthdays for the last 8 years and I'm sure I spent over $1,000 on each of those trips, not even counting the cost of our Annual Passes.

So I am in no place to judge!

FWIW the three extremely simple birthday parties I have thrown my kids (under $50 each including the cake) were each declared "Best Party Ever!" by the little attendees [most of whom have been to many elaborate kid parties].

The people make the party!

 

[aprilgail2]

My mom was just telling me about someone who spent $1,000 on their one-year-old's birthday party. My first reaction was shock, but I quickly calculated the cost of our 3-4 day Disneyland trips for each of my kid's birthdays for the last 8 years and I'm sure I spent over $1,000 on each of those trips, not even counting the cost of our Annual Passes.

So I am in no place to judge!

Around here a 1 year old birthday party is a big thing- many done out in rented halls or restaurant party rooms. So many parties are that much depending on the amount of people.

 

[lauradis]

My mom was just telling me about someone who spent $1,000 on their one-year-old's birthday party. My first reaction was shock, but I quickly calculated the cost of our 3-4 day Disneyland trips for each of my kid's birthdays for the last 8 years and I'm sure I spent over $1,000 on each of those trips, not even counting the cost of our Annual Passes.

So I am in no place to judge!

FWIW the three extremely simple birthday parties I have thrown my kids (under $50 each including the cake) were each declared "Best Party Ever!" by the little attendees [most of whom have been to many elaborate kid parties].

The people make the party!

This is so true. I allow my kids to pick what kind of party they want. Last years was kinda cheap sleep over with 13 girls between the ages of 10-13. It took me 2 days to clean my house and get the nail polish off my toes. Declared "best party ever" too for them not me lol


op I like pretty cakes and have no problem paying for one. Most parties my kids ask me to make the cake. over the years you should see the designs and pics they give me.

 

[Pigeon]

I'll admit to having a fondness for nice cakes.

But I have seen some birthday parties that make me scratch my head. Dd had a friend when she was little whose parents had IMO insane parties. For her seventh birthday, she had a sit down dinner at a lovely venue and about 200 guests. I wonder what her parents will do when she gets married. And the parents were not wealthy people.

 

[Computermama]

Everyone's definition of over the top is going to be different. My daughter is turning 7 at the end of the week, and I'm probably spending about $400-$500 bucks all told on it. It's her first peer party and we're having it out of the house at a local lego type store. That alone is $150, and doesn't include cake, snacks or goodie bags. Her gift was over $100 - I'd post what it is, but she has an annoying tendancy to read over my shoulder. Then afterwards I'm having family members and friends who don't have children her age over for pizza and cake, and that's going to cost a fair bit too. But keep in mind that I'm also out of Canada, and things just cost more on average here. She'll have an elaborate cake, but I'm a cake decorator, so some cost, but not professional cost, and some of those things are reusable, like the lego fondant/chocolate molds and the giant cupcake mold. The costs are fairly average for an out of house party around here, so that's not that out there. The goodie bags won't have cost much because I'm using things I've amassed over a period of time, like packs of crayons that were on at back to school for a quarter. So all in all, expensive, but not that different from what any other parent around here spends on venue type parties. I could do one at home for less, but she had her heart set on the building store party, so I let her have that. Her gift was expensive, but I do budget about that for her birthday gifts. So to me, not crazy, but I'm sure others think it is.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I think the cost is what it is.

Now, getting a 70-serving cake for 20 guests? That seems over the top.

 

[averysmom]

I think the cost is what it is. Now, getting a 70-serving cake for 20 guests? That seems over the top.

This...

Although, I wonder if they'll save and freeze the top tier for the baby's cake smash on his/her first birthday? That makes it a little less wasteful in my eyes.

 

[niffer5150]

i think if someone needs that sort of attention and they have the money, great for them.

personally, i'm happy we don't keep up with the joneses and my kid is extremely pragmatic. her dad and i were joking that we were going to do a huge party for her 15th next month with a crown and a gown and all the glittered trappings. it seriously upset her to the point where we had to apologize and assure her she's not even getting a store cake. i'm making her a lemon pound cake with raspberry topping and no one is coming over, as requested.

 

[MomToOne]

i think if someone needs that sort of attention and they have the money, great for them.

personally, i'm happy we don't keep up with the joneses and my kid is extremely pragmatic. her dad and i were joking that we were going to do a huge party for her 15th next month with a crown and a gown and all the glittered trappings. it seriously upset her to the point where we had to apologize and assure her she's not even getting a store cake. i'm making her a lemon pound cake with raspberry topping and no one is coming over, as requested.

Let me guess...is it a classic case of the "OMG Mom/Dad - don't EMBARRASS ME!!!!"s?

DD14 would love a big party for 15 - as long as I didn't come

 

[DizMe]

Fancy cakes do seem to be popular at the moment. It's kind of cool to see what's done in that area, but I wouldn't spend the money for it unless it was a really special occasion.

As far as people who do over-the-top parties, I guess I have to admit that I do some judging. It's hard for me to swallow the idea of people spending exorbitant amounts of money on birthday parties etc when that money could actually help save lives, improve the community, supply much needed items to schools, etc etc.

I'm not saying people shouldn't spend money and have a good time, but is it necessary to fork out $1000 on a 1-year-old's birthday party or invite 200 guests to a sit-down dinner for a child? To me, that is hedonistic and rather than providing value, promotes further expectations of self-gratification.

 

[SirDuff]

Fancy cakes do seem to be popular at the moment. It's kind of cool to see what's done in that area, but I wouldn't spend the money for it unless it was a really special occasion.

As far as people who do over-the-top parties, I guess I have to admit that I do some judging. It's hard for me to swallow the idea of people spending exorbitant amounts of money on birthday parties etc when that money could actually help save lives, improve the community, supply much needed items to schools, etc etc.

I'm not saying people shouldn't spend money and have a good time, but is it necessary to fork out $1000 on a 1-year-old's birthday party or invite 200 guests to a sit-down dinner for a child? To me, that is hedonistic and rather than providing value, promotes further expectations of self-gratification.

But couldn't the same be said of a trip to WDW? Or anything else (other than strict "needs") that we spend money on?

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

In South Philly it's common to have such big 1st birthday parties, almost as big as some weddings with a huge catered party complete with entertainment for older kids and adults. I used to think it was ridiculous but it's just their way. They enjoy entertaining & sharing special times with family. I have a coworker who had catered parties 3 weekends in a row. My dh would shoot me but to them it's ok. Who am I to say they're wrong?
We all have something we're passionate about and are willing to spend on it more than others would.

 

[niffer5150]

Let me guess...is it a classic case of the "OMG Mom/Dad - don't EMBARRASS ME!!!!"s?

DD14 would love a big party for 15 - as long as I didn't come

nah. kiddo would just rather do her own thing. she's not a people person.

 

[ekatiel]

I have a kid with food allergies, which means that all year, he has to bring his own cupcake to birthday parties. So, when it's time for his party, I make him an elaborate cake (and his brother, too, b/c I can't make an awesome cake for one kid and not the other ). I can't buy one b/c he's allergic to eggs and nuts, and I've never found a baker who would make one, so over the years, I've watched a lot of Food Network and learned how to do fondant, etc. His cakes probably end up costing me around $20 when you add up all the supplies. They take an entire day to decorate (I'm SLOW!!). It's not really hard, but it is time-consuming. If I could buy a cake, I just might-- although I think I might suffer from sticker shock!!

 

[DizMe]

But couldn't the same be said of a trip to WDW? Or anything else (other than strict "needs") that we spend money on?

Yes, which is why there isn't a simple objective answer to "How much is too much?" I struggle with that myself. However, I think if you spend so much on an occasion that you could have fed a whole town in a 3rd world country for a year, you've probably hit "over the top." I admit that I don't see parties in the same way I view vacations. Again, that's a subjective assessment and I'm open to being criticized for negatively judging people who spend thousands on parties for children. I stick to my belief, however, that training children in conspicuous consumption and expectations of excess is not healthy for them, society, or the environment as a whole.