Over 40 funny phrases please?

[tjmw2727]

My Dear Sister is turning 40 and I have been signing my e-mails with funny 40 phrases, some are nice some do tease

Things like, 40 Is Fabulous, Oh No The Big 40 etc.

I am running out - anyone want to help? I would appreciate any you can think of, TIA

TJ

 

[katlas&kids]

try googling "over 40 jokes" I got this one site butlerwebs.com/jokes/babyboomer4.htm add the www. of course!

and google "old lady smilies" and see what comes up!

TGIF!!! Let's start the week-end off with a few oldies but goodies...

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle."

"And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No".

The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"

"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."

"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.

********************************************

As they cut the cake for their 75th anniversary, the old man nuzzled old lady's ear and whispered, "Darling, there's something I've wanted to ask you all these years. Our eleventh child never did look like his brothers and sisters. Did he have a different father?"

The old lady lowered her eyes and murmured, "Yes dear, he did."

The old man just stood there for a while without saying a word. Finally, he asked, "Who was it?"

The old lady said softly, " You, dear."

 

[denisem]

I'm not 40, I'm 18 with 22 years experience.

40 isn't old if you're a tree.

I'm not 40, I'm $39.95.

Oh, no! Four-0.

It took 40 years to look this good!

 

[bcvgal]

refering to certain body parts "They've fallen and can't get up"

 

[mickeyboat]

Lordy lordy, X is 40

 

[kat3668]

How about

Lordy lordy look whos 40!

“Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.”

“Forty isn't old, if you're a tree”

“The best years of a woman's life - the ten years between 39 and 40”

“At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at 30, we worry about what it is thinking of us; at 40, we discover that it wasn't thinking of us at all.”

“The "I just woke up" face of your 30's is the "all day long" face of your 40's”

“What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy”

“Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.”

“Women are most fascinating between the ages of 35 and 40 after they have won a few races and know how to pace themselves. Since few women ever pass 40, maximum fascination can continue indefinitely.”

 

[MissBubbles]

My personal favorite: Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

 

[tjmw2727]

Thanks - these are great, just what I was hoping for more funny than mean!

TJ

 

[kydisneyfans]

40 is 39 higher than our president's IQ?

 

[christineann]

When my little brother turned 40, we went to his house while he was out with his family during the afternoon. We knew that he was going to arrive home just in time to go to a meeting, so we used window soap (it's like chalk) and wrote all over the windows on his truck:

HONK! TODAY I'M 40!

LIFE IS NOT PASSING ME BY - IT'S TRYING TO RUN ME OVER!

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!

and stuff like that. We also decorated his house with black streamers, black balloons, big signs, etc.

 

[tjmw2727]

When my little brother turned 40, we went to his house while he was out with his family during the afternoon. We knew that he was going to arrive home just in time to go to a meeting, so we used window soap (it's like chalk) and wrote all over the windows on his truck:

HONK! TODAY I'M 40!

LIFE IS NOT PASSING ME BY - IT'S TRYING TO RUN ME OVER!

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY TO ME!

and stuff like that. We also decorated his house with black streamers, black balloons, big signs, etc.

That sounds like fun - unfortunately my sis is in MA and I am in DE so I am trying to keep things going via e-mail. I have also sent a "few" birthday cards leading up to the big day. Again I am trying to keep it over 40 and funny not the mean stuff.

Thanks for all the ideas so far!
TJ