Our "Trip of a Lifetime!" (I mean "A Fat Girl's Vacation!") AKL from 1/07-1/16

[Cinerama]

Hi there! I'm a long time lurker here on the trip reports board and I just had to come out of hiding to let you know how much I enjoyed your report. I really appreciated your honesty and humor, along with all the juicy trip details! My family and I will be at DW next week, staying at the AKL so I especially enjoyed all that resort info.

I looked at your trip photos...like others have said, and will continue to say, you are very beautiful! I'm someone who has struggled with weight/eating issues for a long time and I know how hard it is to hear critism from people you love. If you do decide to try and lose weight just do it for yourself and for your own reasons, because if you're doing it for your boyfriend it probably won't work. His issues are NOT your fault, so losing weight won't solve any of those problems.

Thanks again for your report!

Michelle

 

[exwdwcm]

Well, of course I was expecting (and hoping!) to get some private messages from all of you. But you know, there are people out there who obviously have no life. Here's a word for word copy of a PM message I got just minutes ago. My suggestion? Stay away from this poster. She's bad news.

first off, i must say i think a little 'weird' is a good thing...being silly is right up my alley!! booger dance and all.... to each their own!!!

i also think you are a beautiful and enjoyed your photos- you got some really amazing shots!!

despite the drama you experienced, it sounds like you still had a great time and i think you are right- it's hard to have a truly good time, even in the happiest place on earth if you aren't happy with yourself or loved ones. just know disney is always there and you can go back again anytime!

thanks so much for sharing!!!

 

[MelessaG]

I'm popping in like everyone else to say I loved your reports and especially the booger dance. We don't know each other, but anyone takes the time at an amusement park to notice the children andthink about what is and isn't appropriate for children and even speak up about it before she has children herself is a thoughtful, beautiful, and wonderful person who deserves to be treated as such. I'm not going to judge Steve (though I will admit I wanted to thump him in the head in every picture) because I don't know everything about him. I know if I were to post my side of certain arguements with DH, no one would like him-and he's actually a good guy. I will say that you are a beautiful girl inside and out and if he can't see that, he doesn't deserve you. I'm not sure he realizes that, and could do with a wake-up call, but that's just my opinion.
As you can see in my signature, I'm fighting my own battles with weight right now and finally seeing some progress. (Weight Watchers, but there are many other good programs out there) It is working for me only because I want it to-I couldn't do this for someone else, though my family is benefitting from my improved health. I am having a good experience and I'm not saying weight loss is a terrible idea, just something you have to do for you. If you want to join us on the WISH board I'm sure we would welcome you and cheer you on, just make sure it's for you. I see others have offered you a 'shoulder' just a PM away, and I offer you one too.
Oh, and what is UP with that other PM?! Good grief! maybe she was one of the young 'uns at Universal and is still embarassed by her booger.

 

[Lori of the Lodge]

I just had to throw my 2 cents in

I've found that those who put-down others are trying to take the attention away from their own insecurities. He's telling you that you're fat and unattractive in attempt to destroy your self esteem so you'll think you can't get any better than him (and that you don't deserve any better). And it sounds like he's being successful at his little game. He's just putting you down to elevate himself...it makes him feel like he's better than you. It's a control thing and it's very destructive behavior and all too common.

No person should talk to you that way, especially someone who "loves and cares" about you. Please respect yourself and make good decisions about who is worthy of your company.

You look lovely and you are obviously quite talented. I hope you return to Disney again soon and have the most magical vacation ever.

 

[mega13]

I really want to thank all of you for your kind words. I so appreciate each and every one of your responses.

Well, it also seems as if I now have a jealous stalker. Do we have a moderator or someone who can block this poster from PMing me? Here's our friend Nelly's most recent PM to me: (I do plan on ignoring her from this point on, but figured you all could use a little evening entertainment)



Boy you must have alot of friends there cow girl. How is that MOO MOO fitting you these days? Plus who cares how educated someone is? All that matters in this World is how much money you have. For example a winner like me has lots of it, a loser like you does not have any. Too bad but thats how the World works for all you ugly people.


Her board name is Kelly Nelly. I know better than to acknowledge these kind of lurkers (and she's probably a sock puppet, too), but this one was too bizarre.

Em

 

[Linxzy]

Boy you must have alot of friends there cow girl. How is that MOO MOO fitting you these days? Plus who cares how educated someone is? All that matters in this World is how much money you have. For example a winner like me has lots of it, a loser like you does not have any. Too bad but thats how the World works for all you ugly people.

*rolleyes* This has to be an ignorant person that has no life what so ever. I can't imagine that an adult (if it is) will say those idiotic things.

Anyway, another one that loved your reports. Lovely pics too.

 

[IloveDMB]

You should definitely report her to a mod. What she is saying to you is rude and unacceptable!

That being said, I think you are a beautiful girl. If Steve doesn't appreciate your inner and outer beauty, then poo poo on him.

Remember, you rock, sista! And no one can take that away from you.

 

[Jane E.]

Loved reading your trip report. You're great with the details. It made me miss AKL. We stayed there right after they opened with our teenagers. I'd love to go back with just dh for a minivacation. (Its hard to relax with two teens fussin' & fumin' at each other.) Its so beautiful. We loved Boma but I'd really like to try Jiko too. After reading how quiet it was at the beginning of January, I'm thinking about making a trip during that time. Thanks for a great trip report!

 

[dmillerdmd]

Mega13 you are TOO funny. I've been to all the places you talk about just this year so I can see it plain as day. Keep it up, don't take anyone, anything or any comment too seriously. Keep us laughing!!!

 

[daisylove]

Hi there
First of all your report is great
More importantly you are beautiful. From hearing Steves comments, actions and later his picture... dont be upset but you could do better girl.
That Kelly Nelly is horrible. I looked at who he is and he seems to be a trouble maker in other posts. I hope you reported him. Thanks for the reports and believe in yourself.

 

[Valentine]

Adding in my 2, 3 and 4 cents here as well... Thanks for taking the time to share your reports with us... and being vulnerable enough to share it all. That takes guts... and I guess it is a little bit theraputic also!!

As sooooo many have said... your charm and beauty shine through.. Never let anyone dictate who you should be.. or not be. You need to be ready to lose the weight. Just like anything else.. you can do it for anyone else.. it just won't work... It has to be For You... These words come from experience...I have had MANY of those moments you described... the one on the balcony.. where your world just changes in a flash.. but honestly.. we know that there was something rotten in Denmark anyway... it's just so amazing how the human mind can be. We can fool ourselves into believing whatever it is we want to believe for that moment. But no matter what.. the truth always comes barrelling on through.. when you least expect it.... or want it! Just always remember to believe in yourself. What and who you are DOES not depend on someone else's opinion. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to learn to live our lives for us.. and not for or through other people.

Just so you know.. if you feel you need some weight loss advice, support.. or whatever.. come on over to the WISH board. Lots of us "Fat Girls" over there!! By that I mean.. Beautiful, intelligent, witty, talented, educated, fun and loving folk... Come on over when you feel you are ready....

Till then.. sorry if this has turned into some sort of therapy session.. LOL!!! Didn't mean for it to! AND aside from all of that... I really enjoyed your trip reports... Try taking a solo trip next time... bet you'll have more fun!! Luv Ya! Mean It!

Kathy

 

[littleprincessmom]

I also wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your trip report. You should considering writing - your report was very entertaining! You definitely sound like someone I'd enjoy as a friend.

Please consider your relationship with Steve carefully. I certainly don't know him and wouldn't being to give anyone directions in life based on reading a 15 minute trip report but his comments and some of your very honest descriptions of his pornography "habit" are troubling and I say this from experience. I'm fortunate enough to be fairly thin and tall but I went to college in Florida and dated several guys who were totally consumed with the "image" of what they believed a perfect woman should look like. I WAS a size 4, and I can tell you that a man who is intent on making you feel ugly can do so no matter what size you are! I wasted 3 years with a guy who I adored who never thought I was beautiful or thin ENOUGH! I then made the mistake of marrying a very similar man and spending a miserable 3 years. Age and experience have taught me as another poster said above that generally someone's own low self esteem causes them to put others down.

Many years later, I am now married to a WONDERFUL, genuine, caring (although not perfect, who is?) man and we have 2 beautiful daughters. While like any woman, I still am way too hard on myself, I now know that beauty really does come from the inside. (Cliche', yes. True? absolutely!) The most beautiful women I know are those who smile, enjoy life and care for others. You seem to possess all of those qualities! Don't ever sell yourself short!!!!

Steve needs to love you for who you are, not what he would like you to be. If he can't, that is clearly his loss, not yours.

Finally, a very dear friend and client of mine has been struggling for 3 years with a husband who has a porn habit/addiction. PLEASE get counseling for this if you intend to stay with Steve. Even with years of counseling, that situation continues to arise over and over again in her life and what began as a porn "habit", led to chats and finally meetings with others he met over the Internet.

I will say a special prayer for you tonight. You are a fabulous lady and I believe God has special plans for you - Believe that!!!!!!

p.s. Your stalker is clearly CRAZY. I'm only glad that you had enough sense to realize that and not take her hurtful and horrible comments to heart. That is just SAD!

 

[Alysa]

I just wanted to say I am sorry you didn't have a better time on your "trip of a lifetime". I don't know Steve but it sounds like when he was caught doing something wrong - he tried to turn it around and make you feel bad about yourself and sabotaged a trip which you had been looking forward to for ages. I know all of us do things which drive our mates crazy at one time or another but I believe you are right about needing someone in your life who will uplift and support you. (Happily I think there are a lot of people on the DIS like that!) You sound like a very nice person and I know things will work out for you.

 

[nursemelis374]

I just wanted to say that I loved your trip report! It was very entertaining and informative! I also looked at your pictures and think that you are a beautiful woman! Screw Steve. Sorry if that was saying too much. I think that he is the lucky one in this relationship to have a great girl like you! I know that you are probably sick of hearing this, but it is not normal for a man to have to look at porn. Especially on vacation! I think that might border on being an addiction. I also want to tell you that he should be happy with you as you are. Maybe you are not the perfect size, but you are far far far from being obese and still look great. It made my stomach turn at some of the things he said to you. Who does he think he is? I really think you deserve better. Good luck girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[WDWLinda]

1. You are NOT fat...that was a very poor choice of words that I'm sure Steve regrets. I think you look very pretty and have a great personality...if I wasn't happily married and heterosexual... ; )
2. Thanks so much for facing up to that jerk in Universal. As a Mom myself, I hate to see that type of behavior, but would probably just walk quickly by and glare at her. As someone else said, what you did was wonderful and the sign of a great person.
3. I'm so, so sorry that this put such a damper on your trip - now you'll always think of this first instead of the good times you had there. Don't let this ruin future trips to Disney...you have lots of fun coming up, I'm sure.
4. We can't all judge Steve based on what you wrote - he must have some great points otherwise you wouldn't be with him so long. Good luck figuring out what's best for you with respect to him.
5. Although there are MANY men out there who aren't into porn, I think the majority of them have some sort of gene that compells them to look at it...maybe not act on that compulsion in any way, but they're always interested enough to look, in my book. They do have better qualities that allow you to overlook it sometimes, provided its done discreetly. Only you can judge how much is too much.
6. As for that Kelly jerk - obviously someone out for attention, or just a kid looking for a reaction. Ignore him/her!!!

Thanks for your trip report - I feel like you're one of my girlfriends now and hope for all the best for you!

~Linda

 

[ZerasPride]

I wanted to jump on the bandwagon and say how much I appreciated your sharing your experiences - the good and the not so good. The raw emotion and honesty really shined through. And here I thoght I was the only "fat" woman to be at the happiesst place on earth and not be able to think about anything other than how fat I was.

Here is another invitation to join us on WISH. There are a bunch of wonderful "losers" on the WISH board that can inspire and encourge you to get to the weight you want so you can be comfortable in your own skin.

P.S. I sent you a pm!

 

[melvin]

Hi! I love AKL, too and am taking my two boys there in March. As for fat, well I have been the whole spectrum from too skinny to very pleasantly plump (very VERY plump). I am now somewhere in between. Through all of this, my loving DH of 19 years has never said anything but that I look beautiful. If I complain about how I look, he just says, "if it bothers you, do something about it. I think you are fine" And you know what, if someone really loves you, that is how they see you.... You bf has a problem, you confronted him, and he blamed you. Yikes! He lied to you (unacceptable), hid things from you (sneaky) and then would not own his problem (needs therapy). but It's an awful lot easier to look at perfect bodies on the internet than to invest in a real relationship, and very sad that he prefers fake to real. I know it is scary to think you will be alone in life, but I promise, you won't! You, like everyone, deserve a chance for true love! Go and find it! I have this really weird esp thing, and I predict you will find your true love in September....

 

[mega13]

To all my Disboard friends...

Wow... I cannot believe the responses I got! I'm in tears because you don't know how much I needed to read all of those comments. (Keep them coming if you're just reading this!!!) I received replies and PM's from every point on the spectrum. (And I so apologize if you sent me a message and I haven't responded - I have been swamped!) But everyone had the same theme - believe in myself, don't sell myself short, and live life for ME!

As I told some of you in my PM responses, it was a really hard decision to air out all of my very personal problems on a board where literally thousands of people can read all about it. But I so very badly wanted to write a trip report (ever since I found out we were going to Disney), and the honest truth is that there wouldn't been a trip report without telling you all about "that." And, too, I figured I really could use the objective advice and suggestions from strangers. It's sometimes to hard to talk about that kind of an issue with anyone but your best friend. (And of course, she's always gonna side with you! lol)

What I'm most grateful for is the fact that I had people tell me about all of it - every aspect... I had people talk about the WISH board, I had people confide their mates' "bad" habits (and the consequences of that) and I also had people tell me of their successes and struggles with weight. And the best common theme? It's a small world after all. Someone has been there and done that already, and the experiences and triumps and losses that I read about brought tears to my eyes (and yes... a snort or two of laughter!). I live with Steve, and just made the mental decision to get my own place (he doesn't know it yet, and that's going to be VERY interesting). This whole thing is going to become a huge monster over the next few weeks. But thanks to you, I know it's not the end of the world, and I know that regardless of the outcome, it will make me a stronger person.

Steve is not a bad or horrid guy... we are the best of friends. But in an intimate relationship, there has to be more. And we don't have that "more." So either we find it, or we move on.

Love you all (mean it!) and asante sana. Keep in touch, too!!!

Em

 

[tiggerwannabe]

Hello there!

I haven't read your report yet but I did notice what smelly nelly said...I actually printed your report to read at home later

In your "user CP" there is a buddy/ignore list, go there and add smelly kelly to the ignore side and I believe she won't be able to get to you anymore...if not, notify the mods and they'll tell you how to get this person ignored. HTH...

I'm looking forward to some interesting reading later-Have A Disney Day!

 

[LeoGrrrrl1982]

First off, you are a very pretty woman (bodies tend to droop and sag as we get older but you have beautiful facial features, especially your eyes!)
Secondly, beyond that you are HILLARIOUS and Im sure the rest of the Disers would agree that your writing style is wonderful!
Third, Just like one of the previous posters said, my guy gets mad at me whenever I feel bad about my appearance and make negative comments about myself (Im not overweight 5 foot 8 and about 155 but im curvaceous and HIPPY which I can thank my mom for lol).
Your partner should build you up, not tear you down. In my opinion, old Stevo needs a little taste of his own medicine. He is a cute guy, but definitely not the shiniest penny himself! You need to let him know that you have alot going for you and that when and if you lose weight it wil be for you and YOUR HEALTH, not because he cant get over his preoccupation with wanting some porno goddess!
Sorry to be so harsh, I know you obviously love him, but you need to stop letting him make you feel bad.