"True Friendship"
1. When you are sad

-- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry #$%@*# who made you that way.
2. When you are
blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile

-- I will know you finally got

.
4. When you are scared

-- I will rag on you about it every chance I get

.
5. When you are worried

-- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit ! whining.
6. When you are confused

-- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick

-- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want catch whatever you have

.
8. When you fall

-- I will point and

at your clumsy

.
9. This is my oath..... ! I pledge it to the end. "Why?"

you may ask."because you are my friend"

.
And remember....when life hands you Lemons(or preferably
LIMES, ask for tequila and salt and call me over !!!!!