Our DS is now having problems.......

[Claudia1]

He has always been quite gifted academically and very, very busy. We have noticed some upsetting tendencies and actions that may indicate OCD or ADHD. His teacher concurs. It is suddenly affecting his classroom skills and test-taking. With his obviously high IQ and strong academic abilities, this is serious. If he cannot learn appropriate classroom skills, his academic career will be painful, at the very least. I'm not nearly as worried about him "reaching his academic potential" as I am about his sense of personal self-worth & his ability to reach his full potential (whatever that is).

Believe me, this is not something that I am over-reacting to. We have had lots and lots of experience with our DD and have been trying behavior modifications for quite some time. Nothing is working. He is forgetful, impulsive, regimented, and is beginning to hate himself because he doesn't know why he can't get his work done like everybody else.

His birth mother had no prenatal care and probable drug/alcohol abuse. He fits the picture of learning disabilities from poor prenatal care.

This is not "new baby in the house" syndrome. We have been working with him for 3 years. 4th grade has amplified his difficulities but his teacher is on the same page as us.

I'm calling the pediatric behavioral specialists tomorrow.

 

[browneyes]

From what I remember, 4th grade was a trying time anyway. With the possible/probable things his birth mother did to him in utero, I bet the trying time is more amplified for him.

My dd is in the 4th grade. This year, so far, has been her hardest year. She's actually having to learn the things she's being taught, which is what I've been looking for since she started preschool!

Good luck to you and your ds. I hope you find the answers you need for your ds. {{hugs}}

 

[KimRaye]

Sorry to read this Claudia. {{HUGS}} to you & DS. I hope the Drs. can advise and assist you. Keep us posted.

 

[Lady M]

It is always so hard for we parents to see our children going through difficulties of any kind. I hope, Claudia, that the professionals will be able to help your DS and that things will get better for him soon.

Marie

 

[Michelle]

Add us to those with an extremely bright 4th grader having a difficult year so far! I can relate, Claudia, and I'm sure that all the activity related to the new baby has had some effect too.

Good luck with the specialists and please keep us posted!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by Claudia1
He is forgetful, impulsive, regimented, and is beginning to hate himself because he doesn't know why he can't get his work done like everybody else.

4th grade has amplified his difficulities but his teacher is on the same page as us.

I'm calling the pediatric behavioral specialists tomorrow.

Claudia, I want to say that my dd went thru tough times in 4th too. I finally had to take her to the Psych. because among other things ie hating everything (we moved), determining not to enjoy life, she was compulsively tearing out her hair.
Well the doc put her on Celexa for anxiety. What a difference. She was able to adjust, and it really helped. He then put her on Concerta for ADD & I had her take it in 5th grade but now in 6th I don't have her take it. I don't know if that is right, but we will see...{{{HUGS}}}

 

[helenabear]

No advice Claudia, only {{hugs}} I hope the doctors are able to help your DS.

 

[Cindy B]

Claduia...

HUGS!!! I'm at the same place!

I have a very bright son as well, and we are having some of the same issues.

He is forgetful, impulsive, and says he is bored. I have had conversations with the teacher . Just this Tuesday, I had a conference with the teacher (school was only in session for a week!)

The Instructional Support teacher is observing him in the classroom, and they are formulating a plan right now to determine what he needs!

Please keep me posted.

Cindy

 

[Claudia1]

An Instructional Support teacher?!?!?! Wow, what a great person to have on staff!

Many gifted children have many of the same manifestations as special needs children. We have experienced some of the worst case classroom scenarios with our DD and had hoped that his gifted intelligence would help him to cope. It actually amplifies the frustration. He was to be perfect & the first one done, every single time. In a classroom full of gifted kids, that is just not gonna happen!

I was very much encouraged when I spoke with his teacher last night. When I told her of our concerns, she told me of her observations and attempted corrections. She never once said, "He just need to try harder" or "He has to concentrate or her will never cut it in this class". (Both are statements that I heard over and over and over again with DD!) She was glad that we had been on top of it with behav. mod. and very concerned for him. She also stated that he would never survive in a general ed classroom. Too bright, too active, needs too much stimulation. She described how she sees him learning style (kinetic) and also gave several examples of his forgetful behavior. He is definitely not a troublemaker and really wants to be a good kid. No aggressive tendencies or acting out. Just not getting work done on time, no attention span unless actively involved in the lesson, losing everything he touches, etc.... He is a neat kid and everybody like him, both adults and students.

This just strikes a nerve with my DH and I. Having dealt with the school for so long with our DD's issues, we are wary of the official response. Even when armed with multiple psy. & ped. phsyician diagnoses, we have had to continually fight to get her what she has needed. This gifted teacher seems to understand, accept, and support our observations.

The bottom line is that there seems to be more than the "normal" gifted agitation.

I am so sorry to here of the rest of you having similar difficulities! These kids have special needs, too, and many don't see it. Because they are bright, they are often put in groups of older children. Most are not advanced socially and are also singled out because of their class standing. It is also hard to play sports with the some regular ed kids at recess. My DS and his peers know all the rules and think much faster on the run. Without trying to take over, some of the other kids still feel intimidated and they posture to maintain their social position with the "younger" kids. I know that it evens out in the higher grade levels, but the upper elementary years are tough. They also put extra pressure on themselves.

Let's keep in touch. PM me at will!

 

[Cindy B]

Claudia: The IST teacher is a great lady.

I could go on about the gifted testing, and the problems we had with that.. my son knew what it was, and didn't want to be pegged as the smart one, so he told me A MONTH LATER... that he "pretended not to know" the anwers, so of course his cumulative average went down....


Hopefully the IST teacher can tell us what he needs.
We don't want to do the medication route.

 

[Dan Murphy]

I can only offer you support, best wishes and a prayer, Claudia. Hope things go well in the days ahead. {{Hugs}}

 

[JerseyJanice]

I'm sorry to hear that you've got more problems.

I don't know much about this topic, but I would venture to say that if I were you, I'd take my son to his pediatrician PDQ and take it from there. I suppose like most problems, if you don't do anything about it quickly, it'll get worse.

{{{hugs}}} Claudia. I hope it works out without too much heartache.

 

[Jenzebelle]

Claudia,
My Aunt is having very similar problems with my cousin now. He is also in the 4th grade, but has had problems for the past 6months

What seems to be working is a lot of one on time with a teacher's aid at school who also works part time as his tutor. And he's on anti anxiety medication in small doses.

Good luck to you!

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} I'll be praying that you and your son get the help that you need.

When I was in elementary school, our school started offering a GT program when I was in the 4th grade. As others have mentioned, that seems to be a hard year anyway, but it was very hard for some of the kids in the program, since they were so used to always being the best and were suddenly only average. There wasn't as much help available then, especially help from drugs, but I can assure you that all of those people are bright, successful people now. Being able to help him now will undoubtedly help immensely, but you can also be assured that many of the problems that many GT kids have are ones that they seem to just "grow out of," so to speak. My personal opinion is that it has something to do with teachers not recognizing that students who are ahead academically aren't necessarily ahead in their emotional development, and it does make things harder for them for a little while, but the vast majority of them are able to cope.

 

[Serena]

Claudia, you are a great mom. You do whatever feels right.