What she said.Beana9802 said:
UtahMama said:1. Attempt a fake bake (to "tan" in a tanning bed)...when you are really fair to start with. Dont insist to Stacey, the 16 yr. old running the salon single handedly, that you are going on vacation in a few days and need to get tan FAST! After she popped her bubble gum bubble at me she said, "So you wanna go 20?" me, "Ya, that sounds good"..... yada yada yada, burned bum, itchy now. Not lady like to scratch one's bum in public. I've realized it was very very stupid to attempt this the other day and vow to stick to my awesome Loreal Sublime Bronze from now on.
2. To scratch my behind, I thought it'd be spiffy to have my nails done today! To have pretty hands whild on vacation! Went to Walmart nail salon during one of my 4 trips to Wally-World. I wanted pink and white nails. I told the petite "nail technitian" to make them a little thicker because they have to last 2 whole weeks and thinnish nails have more chance of breaking. I'm not sure if she understood English. I am the proud owner of 10 pink and white Chicklett's on the ends of my fingers.
3. Oy! My ROOTS!!!! Need a touch up highlight/lowlight job. Again at Walmart (but at the Hair Salon). I needed beige blonde highlights and golden brown level 4 lowlights weaved into my hodge podge hair-of-many-colours! It came out very PLATINUM barbie-blonde with a teeny bit of mud brown. IM NOT PAYING FOR THIS!!!!!!A different stylist, 2 hours, and a raw head later, I got the desired weave at a very low cost due to an inept colorist. See, "BN" (Before Norah) THATS what I did for a buck. Hair Color ...in a real nice salon. But I cant afford to pay someone like ME to do it and I cant do it myself, so I went to Walmart's Salon. That could have been as bad as Chicklett Gum nails and a burned bum...At least (my hair is FINE!!!!)
4. Havent done yet....much later...I'm gonna bleach my teeth. It's just done as a touch up every 6 months. Figured there's going to be a "perma-grin" on my face for 10 dayswith tons of pho-tos being took of me and DIS peeps to be met...
5. Buy new shoes and break them in 2 days before the big trip!
shining self here on the boards..... 
TwinkieMama said:
powers over people in high places? Just so everyone else will know what twinkie got her, it is
I was hoping that with the Cars movie quote it would be a red Sports Car. 
Goofy4UM said:I know what it is See I know everything that UM wants. But how did you pull this off Twinkie? Do you have magic
Ready for this, Its Caption Jack Sparrow!!! In the flesh.
I hope this doesnt ruin my vacation.
UtahMama said:by UtahMama (clearing throat, cracking knuckles)
'Twas the night before OUR BIG FAT DISNEY VACATION,
When all through our house,
Every creature was stirring, because of THE Mouse;
The Suburban was loaded and packed with great care,
In hopes that the Utahans soon would be there;
The DKs were nestled high-strung in their beds,
While visions of Souvenirs danced in their heads;
And UM in her big-stretched-out-threadbare-maternity-night-gown, and DH in his ball cap;
Had just settled down for a 3 hour nap,
When out on the DISboards there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to WindowsXP I flew like a Mickey Mouse fan,
Logged on to the Puter and made a new plan.
Dreams of the moon on the Castle all covered in glow;
Gave lustre of the characters standing below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear?
But man named Walt Disney and a Mouse standing near.
Said our little old Airport Driver, Lets GO, people! Quick!
Was honking his horn. I knew its no trick.
DHs dear OLD dad was going insane,
As he whistled, and shouted, and called us by name;
"Now, U-mama! Now, Goofy! Now, Kronk, and you Stitch!
On, Stink! On Little Red! With his button stuck on B-tch!!
I will miss you DIS Peeps, I hope you all know!
Bittersweet tears, my nose needs to blow.
We are off to the airport, Lickity Split.
Dont do anything I wouldnt do, Like pop a big ZIT!
I'll be sharing that with my DH this afternoon. 
.
