OT - WWYD - take the dog or not???

[ahilly]

I’m warning all that this might be long… DMIL has asked if we would take her German Shepard for the winter, while she is in Florida. Our house currently consists of me, DH, DD 6.5, DS 2.5 and no animals. I’m really torn on weather we should take in “Annie” for the winter because of the following reasons-
• DMIL has always done a lot for us and I would feel guilty saying NO
• If we don’t take her she will kennel her for the winter (oct-may)
• DMIL is offering us $$$, about half of what she would pay to kennel her, a monthly dog food allowance, she would pay to kennel her anytime we will be gone (such as our upcoming trip to DW) and she would also cover her vet bills (the money would be nice since it would cover xmas and we could bank the rest, but it’s not about the money)
• DD has been asking why we can’t have a dog and she doesn’t get that both DH and I work full time (DH is currently working 3 jobs) and no one is home from 8am until 5:30pm and I tried to tell her it isn't fair to the dog to be stuck at home alone all day
• We have a fenced in yard
• Annie is the runt of the litter and when I say that I mean for a pure breed Shepard she is only 65lbs (when DMIL went to pick out the dog the breeder said they were going to put her down since she was so small)
Now for the reasons why I don’t want to take her-
• DMIL has had Annie since 2000 and when she purchased her condo in FL in 2002 she knew that she was not allowed pets - EVER
• Annie sheds a lot, as all GS do, which would mean that I will have to vacuum and sweep on a daily basis
• I know that I have allergies to cat dander and I’m wondering how they will respond to Annie
• I’m a little nervous about having a dog that has only been exposed to kids, never lived with kids come into our home, especially with my DS who doesn’t understand yet about not playing rough and such with animals
• Not sure how the kids will react when we have to give her back in May?
WWYD??? I’m really torn because DMIL does so much for us and she is definitely not pushing us to take Annie in, she simply asked if we would. She leaves for FL mid-October so if we say no she would like to know by Oct 1st. Like I stated earlier the $ would be nice but sometimes it’s not always about the $. Help WWYD?

 

[MSSANDRA]

Well, if this winter in flordia is a regular thing i think she should find the dog a new home. Boarding for over 1/2 the year is not fair to the dog. That however is no help to you I would only take the dog on a trial basis. Tell her you will try it for a month and see how it goes. If it does not work out, she can then board. That might also let everyone see how a pet of your own might work into the family. Good luck.

 

[nessz79]

I agree with the above poster. Trial to see if the dog gets along with the kids...if there's ANY problem with that, give him back immediately (in a nice way, of course, but not a moment with a non-kid-friendly dog). If it works out and you don't have terrible allergies, I'd try to tolerate it.

My MIL does tons of stuff for us, too, so we took care of her dog for years in a similar situation. We wound up keeping him for his last few years until he became too old (started growling at the children, bit me, had to put him down).

 

[Whosemom]

I would ALMOST assume if you take Annie, you will have her forever. What grandma could rip a pet from the loving arms of a grandchild? Either way, 6 months is a long time. And some of those "snow birds" don't come back. (OH! that sounds ominous, I just meant she might prefer her new home)

My questions are:

• Has Annie always played nice on visits? No slinking or growling? I think my dog gets her fill of the kids sometimes (which I TOTALLY understand ) and she just goes away and finds a spot to lay down.
• How long is she alone now? Has your mother-in-law been working? Or has she in the lifetime of the dog?
• CAn she climb fences? Does she dig under? IE, can you leave her in the yard through the day, or can you build her some kind of run. I can't imagine a big dog stuck inside all the time.
• How much time have you spent at the house where Annie lives? I bet if your allergies had a problem with her, you'd already know. And if you DO vacuum every day, and keep her out of your bedroom, odds are that's ok.

 

[ahilly]

I would ALMOST assume if you take Annie, you will have her forever. What grandma could rip a pet from the loving arms of a grandchild? Either way, 6 months is a long time. And some of those "snow birds" don't come back. (OH! that sounds ominous, I just meant she might prefer her new home)
She can't leave WI just yet, something to do with her selling her primary residence and taxes etc. so this would probably turn into a yearly thing, if we don't end up keeping her. I love dogs, but it has been a nice past 7 years not having to worry about who would be taking care of the dog while we vacationed or took long weekends away.

My questions are:

• Has Annie always played nice on visits? No slinking or growling? I think my dog gets her fill of the kids sometimes (which I TOTALLY understand ) and she just goes away and finds a spot to lay down.
  So far we have never had any problems, on her last visit if DS was playing with his cars on the floor, she would just move to another part of the room.
• How long is she alone now? Has your mother-in-law been working? Or has she in the lifetime of the dog?Worked very little since she got Annie, but they take day trips, I'm just not sure if thye have someone come over to let her out now or not (looking into that though Thanks)
• CAn she climb fences? Does she dig under? IE, can you leave her in the yard through the day, or can you build her some kind of run. I can't imagine a big dog stuck inside all the time.NO, NO and never thought of that
• How much time have you spent at the house where Annie lives? I bet if your allergies had a problem with her, you'd already know. And if you DO vacuum every day, and keep her out of your bedroom, odds are that's ok.Maybe twice a year, after the kids were born it was easier to ask the grandparents to come visit us since the trip was 8-9 hours by car. But we always went or go when my seasonal allergies are in full swing so I was hard to tell the difference.

I appreciate all the advice I get from my fellow Disers, you guys keep me sane more often than you know.

 

[cc1013]

I'm a dog lover, so I'm definitely biased, but I think you should take the dog. This might be a great opportunity to teach your children the responsibility of having a pet. Maybe explain to DMiL that you'd like to help her and are willing to do it on a trial basis. Understandably, it all depends on how you react in terms of allergies. Would it be possible to have Annie for a week or so to try it out before making a firm decision?

Good luck!

 

[teresajoy]

I’m warning all that this might be long… DMIL has asked if we would take her German Shepard for the winter, while she is in Florida. Our house currently consists of me, DH, DD 6.5, DS 2.5 and no animals. I’m really torn on weather we should take in “Annie” for the winter because of the following reasons-
• DMIL has always done a lot for us and I would feel guilty saying NO
• If we don’t take her she will kennel her for the winter (oct-may)
• DMIL is offering us $$$, about half of what she would pay to kennel her, a monthly dog food allowance, she would pay to kennel her anytime we will be gone (such as our upcoming trip to DW) and she would also cover her vet bills (the money would be nice since it would cover xmas and we could bank the rest, but it’s not about the money)
• DD has been asking why we can’t have a dog and she doesn’t get that both DH and I work full time (DH is currently working 3 jobs) and no one is home from 8am until 5:30pm and I tried to tell her it isn't fair to the dog to be stuck at home alone all day
• We have a fenced in yard
• Annie is the runt of the litter and when I say that I mean for a pure breed Shepard she is only 65lbs (when DMIL went to pick out the dog the breeder said they were going to put her down since she was so small)
Now for the reasons why I don’t want to take her-
• DMIL has had Annie since 2000 and when she purchased her condo in FL in 2002 she knew that she was not allowed pets - EVER
• Annie sheds a lot, as all GS do, which would mean that I will have to vacuum and sweep on a daily basis
• I know that I have allergies to cat dander and I’m wondering how they will respond to Annie
• I’m a little nervous about having a dog that has only been exposed to kids, never lived with kids come into our home, especially with my DS who doesn’t understand yet about not playing rough and such with animals
• Not sure how the kids will react when we have to give her back in May?
WWYD??? I’m really torn because DMIL does so much for us and she is definitely not pushing us to take Annie in, she simply asked if we would. She leaves for FL mid-October so if we say no she would like to know by Oct 1st. Like I stated earlier the $ would be nice but sometimes it’s not always about the $. Help WWYD?

Do you like dogs? Do you like this dog? If either one of those answers is no, I wouldn't do it. I use to think I liked dogs. We always had one growing up. Nice little dogs. So, when my dh started talking about getting a dog, I agreed. Oh my gosh! Let's just say, I spent a horrible NINE years with that dog! She shed, she dug out of the fence, when we left her outside, (if she couldn't get under the fence) she broke the basement windows and got in that way. She slept on our couch and her nails tore it up. She pooped on the floor and peed on the floor, she pooped in the yard (which of course, is where we wanted her to poop!) so that I didn't even like the kids playing out there! It was AWFUL! She was a Brittany Spaniel, about 60 pounds.

We put her up for adoption a few months ago, and found her a really nice home. A family with no children, so she go their FULL attention, which is what I think she really needed to begin with.

Think VERY carefully about this! I agree that a trial run might be a good idea. But ONLY, let me say it again, ONLY if YOU really WANT too do it! Dogs can be so much extra work, be sure you really want to take that on before agreeing to this.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Just say no! I love animals but I do not want any. Shedding, poop, worrying about biting, the vet, walking it or letting it out, cleaning the yard or pooper scooping the street. Yuck yuck yuck!!!! I grew up with animals including but not limited to dogs. I always thought I would want at least 2 when I got a house. No way!!!! My new rule is....if you didn't come out of my body then I am not cleaning up your poop. Since I am not likely to give birth to a lab anytime soon my plan is working pretty good!!!!

 

[tonilea]

I love German Shepherds. I would really recommend you get a Furminator DeShedding Tool. Our clients love them. They are pretty expensive for a grooming tool, but no one has wanted their money back!!!!

 

[hoosiergirl7]

I agree with everyone else. Take the dog on a trial basis. My mother thinks we're nuts because we have 2 labs who shed constantly. I don't know many dogs that don't. But we also live in the South and we've noticed that their fur shedding issues are horrible here. When we lived up North it was never this severe. So we're looking forward to moving back North in a few years once DH has to switch jobs again.

But I honestly have to say your MIL was irresponsible buying a condo that doesn't allow pets if she's going to spend 6 months out of the year in FL. That's so not fair to the dog to have to be away from its owner for 6 months and even worse for it to be boarded for 6 months. The dog could come out of boarding with serious health problems being boarded that long not to mention a whole slew of other issues. We have no choice right now but to kennel our dogs when we go out of town because we have no family around to take care of them and no one we know well enough to house-sit. In most kennels the only time dogs come out are to go to the bathroom unless of course it's a place that has an indoor/outdoor run and those are hard to find anymore.

If the trial run works out I would seriously consider telling your MIL that you are keeping the dog and she is more than welcome to come visit but a responsible pet owner does NOT buy a condo that she plans on living in for 6 months out of the year that doesn't allow pets.

Please let us know how things go!

 

[terri01p]

Well, if this winter in flordia is a regular thing i think she should find the dog a new home. Boarding for over 1/2 the year is not fair to the dog. That however is no help to you I would only take the dog on a trial basis. Tell her you will try it for a month and see how it goes. If it does not work out, she can then board. That might also let everyone see how a pet of your own might work into the family. Good luck.

I have to agree with this , that's a very long time to leave a dog with a family he's not use too , that really stinks for the dog, but I have to say that before I kenneled a dog for that long I would just try and find him a good home, he won't come back the same after that long in kennel care, it's not fair to the dog, going back and forth will really confuse the dog and could become a mess. How could your mil feel comfortable leaving him for that long ? I would never do that to my new puppy let alone a dog I've had for a while, she needs to find him a loving home, where he can have routine and not be thrown back and forth. I've never understood why people get a dog if they don't plan on loving him/her like a family member, everytime I see an ad that says " dog needs a new home we are moving", I just want to shout well why couldn't you take him/her your taking your children aren't you, and to get a condo for 6 months out of a year knowing they don't take pets is just crazy in my book, and shows me she needs to find him another home.

 

[bellebud]

i'm an animal lover, have always had pets growing up, and in my adult married life, we've had 2 and 3 dogs at a time (our last 2 were 12 and 13yo last year and finally had to be put down). BUT those 2 dogs were not good w/ our kids (we had the dogs about 5 years before having kids, and they just never took to them). we had to keep them separated for 7 long years. Anyway, we now have a german shepherd puppy (9 months old) and he's the best, best, best, best dog in the world w/ my kids. BUT we also had his sister till she was 7 months old; had to give her back to the breeder. She growled at ds too many times when he would cuddle her. I also had a professional trainer tell me it was her opinion to give her back too (and this was something we were already thinking about. we had kennelled them both w/ this trainer and the woman could see right away the quirk in the dogs personality and simply didn't recommend her for a family w/ kids).

Now, your mil's dog... the first thing i'd do is call a trainer (ask around for a recommendation for a good one - this is just my opinion, but for training w/ kids, I happen to like women better than men trainers. In the experiences we've had w/ trainers, and we've had a few experiences over the years w/ our different dogs, women just have more of a *sense* about the child/dog relationship. I'm sure there are wonderful male trainers too, I just haven't found them yet). So, find a trainer immediately, tell him/her the situation, and tell him/her you'd like a few basic obedience lessons immediately w/ the dog and your kids, to see how the dog is w/ your kids. The trainer, if a good one, will let you know whether they would recommend this dog for your kids. And you'll get to see if the dog listens to the kids and submits to them.

That is SO important if this dog is going to be in your house. You can't always keep an eye on everything going on... you have to be comfortable if the little one lays on top of the dog, or accidently trips over the dogs and falls on top of it, pulls its ears, etc.

If the dog is good w/ kids, I'd do it. You want to help mil, and there's something so wonderful about a dog w/ kids growing up. I know the mess will be there, but use the Furminator brush like the other poster said (ours was $50 for the large size, but my sil just got her large size on Amazon dot com for $38-ish). The shedding is MUCH, MUCH better controlled w/ this brush. Again, i've had dogs all my life - this brush is worth the money! You'll still have to swiffer (love my swiffer!) or sweep and vacuum, but the love a dog gives the kids is worth it!

Our shepherd wants nothing but to be w/ our kids. He's like our 3rd child, running in the yard w/ the kids, playing w/ them, dropping his ball in their laps to throw for him. We brought him over to my brothers the other day, and he was gently following my crawling 1yo nephew around the yard for an hour. He'd plop the ball next to my nephew (and nephew would pick it up and try to eat it), and my dog would gently lay down right next to the baby and have this hopeful look on his face, waiting for the baby to throw the ball. It was SO incredibly sweet! Shepherds can be wonderful pets (but they can be dangerous too, as can any dog, so I really recommend the trainer thing).

Good luck, and let us know what happens.

I also love having a dog for the barking, just in case someone would ever think of breaking into my house. And we have a fenced yard too, but groundhogs, etc, can get in, and I love knowing the dog is out there w/ the kids, and would protect them from anything.

editing to add... about the trainer - of course the trainer can't "guarantee" the dog will always be good w/ your kids, and probably wouldn't want to be put on the spot and would maybe feel liable, so don't ask for that. Just basic obedience, and a good trainer will let you know if they see something 'bad' going on, and honestly, if you watch carefully, you'll be able to see too and get a really good feel for how the dog will be w/ the kids. Does the dog lie on his back for belly rubs w/ the kids? The submission is very important. He has to know the kids are above him always. Good luck!

 

[aubriee]

I agree with the above poster about having the dog checked out with a trainer. He MUST have the personality to be submissive to your kids. Even your youngest child must be able to control him. If not you'll just be asking for trouble. I have an Akita that my 10 y/o GD can control with a simple word or hand command, but he will eat anyone alive who tries to get into my house or if anyone messes with any of us. One day my 2 y/o GS saw and heard my GD (his cousin) going through Niko's commands. When she was through, my little GS walked over gave the hand signal and said 'sit'. I was really suprised when my Akita at first gave him a puzzled look, but then immediately sat, looking at me the whole time like 'is this little kid kidding and do I have to obey this little shrimp?' Logan didn't have the tough, no nonsense voice my GD did. Niko did obey him though. My dog is good with my grandkids, but not good with other kids. I would never leave him anywhere, except with his trainer. He doesn't have the personality to get along with strangers. Something else to consider is, do your kids have other kids over frequently. The dog might not tolerate other kids and especially other kids rough housing with your kids. I know mine wouldn't.

Something else to think about is in Texas at least, German Shepherds are on the high risk list. Your house insurance will probably go up.

 

[bellebud]

oh, i forgot, that's what the trainer said about our girl shepherd who we gave back to the breeder... that she might someday bite another kid who is playing w/ our kids, because she was already "too" attached to us, in a desparate kind of way (even though she growled at ds). she didn't have a lot of confidence, which is a very bad trait to have around kids.

 

[I loveStitchnippyjon]

In my opinion, you need an evaluation by a GOOD dog trainer as to whether this GSD will be good with your kids. If there is any question about it, I think that it would be best for the dog in the long run to re-home it. It is totally not fair to kennel a dog for 6 months at a time. If you keep the dog, he needs to be totally 1,000% reliable with the kids and also not able to escape from the yard. Good luck!