OT -- What is a Stay At Home Christian?

[ChrisandDon'sMommy]

You know I totally understand if you worship without a home; but, at least, you are worshipping. What I believe the point of this thread was those that call themselves Christians, but do not worship at all. It happens. It's like wanting membership in a group, like the Boy Scouts, without going on field trips or camp.

What's that saying by Christ? "If you stand for me in front of many, I'll stand with you before my father."

In all honesty, many of those "stay at home Christians" do not attend unless they think attending once in a blue moon will help out their personal situations. It doesn't work that way. "Oh I'm broke. Maybe if I go this Sunday, money will come my way". Or, "I really want that new job position. If I go this week, maybe I'll get it." Hahaha, that's awfully one-sided and misguided in the faith. Go during the good and bad times of your life.

Truth hurts. I guess. If it doesn't apply to you, brush it off.

Keep searching for the church that you can honestly call home. At least, you are attempting to solidify the relationship.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

You know I totally understand if you worship without a home; but, at least, you are worshipping. What I believe the point of this thread was those that call themselves Christians, but do not worship at all. It happens. It's like wanting membership in a group, like the Boy Scouts, without going on field trips or camp.

What's that saying by Christ? "If you stand for me in front of many, I'll stand with you before my father."

In all honesty, many of those "stay at home Christians" do not attend unless they think attending once in a blue moon will help out their personal situations. It doesn't work that way. "Oh I'm broke. Maybe if I go this Sunday, money will come my way". Or, "I really want that new job position. If I go this week, maybe I'll get it." Hahaha, that's awfully one-sided and misguided in the faith. Go during the good and bad times of your life.

Truth hurts. I guess. If it doesn't apply to you, brush it off.

Keep searching for the church that you can honestly call home. At least, you are attempting to solidify the relationship.

Very well said!
I would like to bring up a part of a stay at home Christian...sending you child to Sunday School and that is IT! Family involvement in church and no teaching/praising at home. My DH's brother and his family do this. They send their son to SS, but that is all. Mom's excuse for not going to church is that she doesn't have the appropriate clothing. Both parents were raised in the church. I pray that the son will get a firm foundation from others in his life if not by the parents. Does anyone else see this? The do as I say, not as I do method.
I am enjoying that conversation on this board as everyone is giving opinions and beliefs in an adult manner...no back biting. It actually gives me comfort that I am not the only one that feels "guilty" about not attending every Sunday and finding it difficult to find a home church.

 

[hickchick]

This is a great thread. I love all of the various viewpoints! I am a Christian and that is my faith and my lifestyle. I believe that going to church is not only a way to worship (there are others) but also how to fellowship with other believers. Unfortunately, the imperfectness of people affects that worship/fellowship! My husband was burned as a teenager by a church that was not accepting/welcoming and now will not attend. I tried to find us a home church in this town, but ran into a lot of cliques, a lot of "keeping up with the Jones" comparisons on Sundays, and became frustrated. I deal with that enough during the week at work and don't need another day! My daughter goes to a local non-denominational church for AWANA and loves it. Maybe someday we will find a church to attend on Sundays, but for now we are good. Many different reasons for "stay-at-home Christians"!

 

[Kit'smommy]

This is an interesting thread, but I really can't believe how judgmental a number of the posters are. I would rather someone come to church occasionally, even just on holidays, than not at all. The Sunday they decide to show up could be the time they decide to reach out to God.

I have seen many people who have marked a pew nearly every Sunday and Wednesday and yet not exihibited any signs of being a Christian anywhere else in their lives. I have also met a number of people who I truly believe to be Christians that did not have a church home.

I believe I will stand before my Saviour someday in judgment for many things that I have done and not done. However, I will not be damned or saved on the basis of Church attendance, nor will any one else.

As for denominations, I grew up in the Baptist church and still call myself a Baptist. We currently attend a local Methodist church as we have never found a local Baptist church that we liked attending. I do not agree with many things in the United Methodist Church, however, I love this congregation and still get a lot out of the services. I would rather attend a church I feel is less than ideal than not go at all.

 

[lurkernj]

Gee, this thread can use a little humor.

Here's a joke my son told me yesterday (might help keep "your pew" to yourself also).

What happened to the man who farted in church?
He sat in his own pew .

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Very well said!
I would like to bring up a part of a stay at home Christian...sending you child to Sunday School and that is IT! Family involvement in church and no teaching/praising at home. My DH's brother and his family do this. They send their son to SS, but that is all. Mom's excuse for not going to church is that she doesn't have the appropriate clothing. Both parents were raised in the church. I pray that the son will get a firm foundation from others in his life if not by the parents. Does anyone else see this? The do as I say, not as I do method.
I am enjoying that conversation on this board as everyone is giving opinions and beliefs in an adult manner...no back biting. It actually gives me comfort that I am not the only one that feels "guilty" about not attending every Sunday and finding it difficult to find a home church.

My dh was raised that way -- the kids were literally sent across the street to Sunday School on their own, the parents never even left the house! I'd like to believe it was well-intentioned, but it left my dh not feeling like he really had a spiritual foundation. There was never any discussion, faith activities, prayer, etc. in the home. Now when the elder generation passes away, we have to find a minister to do the service, no one has a church home. What happens is the minister talks to the family and tries to personalize the service, but because they don't really know the person, it's kind of sad...

I wish everyone could find a church home that made them comfortable, but I realize that might not be possible. My frustration is not so much with people who haven't found a home, but with people who have become members of our congregation, and just rarely show up or support the church body in any way. We have some people that work on Sunday mornings, but they run a youth group, visit shut-ins, etc. I would not consider them "Stay At Home Christians" -- or maybe I would, but without negative connotations.

Now that I've learned more about the term, I don't think I would interpret it as always having to be negative. If it means you are living/promoting your religion at home, but just not attending services, I would think you would qualify.

But again, I reiterate, if you've joined a church and you don't come -- don't be surprised if it's not there when you need it. Churches are struggling, and if you want it to be there, you need to show up and work with the people there to make the changes necessary for you to be excited. I'd like to think that most people who attend regularly really want others to come, and will be supportive. That might be a little naive, but it's how I feel!

 

[DawnM]

We often avoid church on Christmas and Easter. Parking is a huge problem on those Sundays as is finding a place to sit.

More recently, our church has offered a Saturday evening service and asked members to please attend Saturday evening or the 8am service on Sunday to allow more room for visitors (we are packed with regulars on a typical Sunday). That helps.

We also have started volunteering in the nursery on those Sundays to allow more visitors to come and to serve on those days instead.

Dawn

 

[crisi]

You know I totally understand if you worship without a home; but, at least, you are worshipping. What I believe the point of this thread was those that call themselves Christians, but do not worship at all. It happens. It's like wanting membership in a group, like the Boy Scouts, without going on field trips or camp.

I'm a Girl Scout leader. You can be a Girl Scout if you don't go to camp or on field trips. There are Juliettes - who are independant girls without a troop. Girl Scouts isn't about camping and field trips - its about an attitude and a belief.

I'm not Christian, but it seems to be that the Christians I most admire are the ones who live the teachings of Christ in an every day manner. It isn't about tithing or going to church. It isn't about who participates and which pew you sit in. Its about believing Jesus was the Son of God (my big downfall as a Christian) and using His life as an example to live yours. Do you think Jesus and God care how you worship? Do you really think God values people more who show up in Church every Sunday and sing to him over someone who lives his life with the love of God in his heart and worships Him every day through the example he sets. How do you know what is going on in these hearts to be able to judge if it is adequate worship in the eyes of God?

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Do you really think God values people more who show up in Church every Sunday and sing to him over someone who lives his life with the love of God in his heart and worships Him every day through the example he sets. How do you know what is going on in these hearts to be able to judge if it is adequate worship in the eyes of God?

Actually, if you agree with the parable of the Prodigal Son in the Bible, God values those more who come to him more difficultly than those who are there more easily. Now that can be hard to wrap your mind around.

Stay At Home Christian seems to be a different way to worship. It works for some people, it wouldn't work for others. I don't think anyone is judging anyone else (although you seem to be a bit contentious). I think for me it comes down to what you have agreed to do -- if you agreed to support your congregation with your presence, then you should do it. But, I don't do alot of things I should. I don't know anyone who thinks they are better than anyone else because they attend church services -- "Judge not lest ye be judged".

I have seen dvds of certain denomination who believe that even if you go to church, if your church isn't boisterous, you aren't doing what God wants you to do. My point is that the way you worship is between you and God. If you have committed to God and to the rest of your body of Christ that you will be a regular attendee at services, then you should either do that or find other ways to support your congregation. Other people are depending on you!

There also seem to be many ways people come to be Stay At Home Christians, and some have been deeply hurt. It would display a shocking lack of compassion not to be welcoming and encouraging to those people. They don't have to go back to church, but if they do want to, I want to be as supportive as possible.

It seems like there are alot of people who would call themselves Stay At Home Christians who actually want to be Go To Services Christians, but can't find a fit that's good for them. I think the people who are in churches should work to find ways to be welcoming, and find out how they can adapt their services so they will be energizing and compelling.

 

[ChrisandDon'sMommy]

Well, I think attending Sunday school could help some of the kids. I think the intention for a solid relationship is there. The kid can't be held accountable for the actions of his/her parents.

Okay, the use of the Girl Scout analogy was illogical. It's like saying you a recovering alcoholic, but not attending some form of rehabilitative service. Self-rehab doesn't cut it.

Being a Christian doesn't have some form of a lifetime membership nor is it some fraternity/sorority (Once in, always in). I'm human. I understand it can be hard.

 

[crisi]

Okay, the use of the Girl Scout analogy was illogical. It's like saying you a recovering alcoholic, but not attending some form of rehabilitative service. Self-rehab doesn't cut it.

Really now? - my sister is a recovering alcoholic. She did two stints through rehab which did not take, AA did not take, but has been successful at self rehab (at least right now - she's an alcoholic - a huge proportion of them fall off the wagon regardless of method used).

My best friends father is a self-rehab recovering alcoholic - he's been dry for 30 years.....

My assistant minister has been dry for about fifteen - guess what - self-rehab.

 

[Aristomommy]

I'm not Christian, but it seems to be that the Christians I most admire are the ones who live the teachings of Christ in an every day manner. It isn't about tithing or going to church. It isn't about who participates and which pew you sit in. Its about believing Jesus was the Son of God (my big downfall as a Christian) and using His life as an example to live yours. Do you think Jesus and God care how you worship? Do you really think God values people more who show up in Church every Sunday and sing to him over someone who lives his life with the love of God in his heart and worships Him every day through the example he sets. How do you know what is going on in these hearts to be able to judge if it is adequate worship in the eyes of God?

No matter how I would love to be perfect, I am human just as every other Christian is. While tithing isn't the only way to worship God, it takes discipline and trust especially when money is tight. Going to church takes a commitment of time, resources and energy. Connecting with God in prayer and praise/worship also takes discipline. It is many times the commitment that a person makes in all areas of their life that produces the outward signs you admire.

I don't know if God honors one person's commitment more than another's, my job isn't to compare but to live my life the best I know how. Am I perfect? Far from. We moved recently and are looking for a church to take our family. In the mean time, we still practice our faith the best we know how.

 

[Kenenitz]

Just wondering if most of you who go to church regularly attend a church of the same denomination that you grw up with?

I tend to find that in terms of most of my friends, that the ones still attending church are the ones that are still in the area they grew up in and going to the church their parents did. Not all of course, but most in my circle of friends.

For me the entire religion subject is a total mess. I was raised catholic as was my husband. Him and I both have issues with some of teachings.. I remember a nun in grade school telling me that my grandmother, who was presbyterian would go to hell because she wasn't Catholic. I was terrified for weeks and had nightmares. But the biggest reason we don't go is because we can't afford to put the kids into Catholic school. We'd be looking at almost 1500/month for three kids. Since we can't afford the school, we were looked at as if we were lesser people. I got tired of being segregated. I'm not opposed to Cathloic school.. i went to Catholic school till I graduated, but it's not in the budget.


As for going to a non cathloic church, well most of the churches here are either a bunch of old stuffy people who think they own God himself since their family have been going there since Jesus was alive OR they are these extremely loud, gospel singing churches, which after growing up Cathlolic, make me feel uncomfortable. We went to one and people kept screaming out praise jesus and standing up and clapping and I was completely out of my element. I grew up going to a church where if I so much as whispered, I'd get yelled at.. it was WAY too much of a difference for me. lol

 

[crisi]

No matter how I would love to be perfect, I am human just as every other Christian is. While tithing isn't the only way to worship God, it takes discipline and trust especially when money is tight. Going to church takes a commitment of time, resources and energy. Connecting with God in prayer and praise/worship also takes discipline. It is many times the commitment that a person makes in all areas of their life that produces the outward signs you admire.

I don't know if God honors one person's commitment more than another's, my job isn't to compare but to live my life the best I know how. Am I perfect? Far from. We moved recently and are looking for a church to take our family. In the mean time, we still practice our faith the best we know how.

And I'm happy for you that tithing works for you. I happen to also tithe to my church and go nearly every week - I completely understand how attending and tithing can be a spiritual experience. However, as you said, it is not the only way to worship. I'm just wondering who died and made some of these posters God that they get to determine who is Christian and who isn't.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

Just wondering if most of you who go to church regularly attend a church of the same denomination that you grw up with?

As for going to a non cathloic church, well most of the churches here are either a bunch of old stuffy people who think they own God himself since their family have been going there since Jesus was alive OR they are these extremely loud, gospel singing churches, which after growing up Cathlolic, make me feel uncomfortable. We went to one and people kept screaming out praise jesus and standing up and clapping and I was completely out of my element. I grew up going to a church where if I so much as whispered, I'd get yelled at.. it was WAY too much of a difference for me. lol

I will answer...I do not currently line in an area that has a church with the Reformed faith or the United Reformed/Christian Reformed denominations, BUT I very much miss the fellowship with others that have similar beliefs who can support each other (NOT saying people need to be the same religion/denomination--or even religious--to offer support) and the style of worship. Churches (even within a demonination) can have varying styles of worship (quite to shouting praises & piano to bands) it is a personal choice and my families is the more subdued piano/organ style. We are moving in the near future (Lord willing) to an area that does have several Reformed churches and I am greatly looking forward to being there!

 

[disykat]

There's also the "Sunday morning Christian" phenomenon. People who attend church on Sunday and then forget about it the rest of the week. I think the important thing is a daily walk with God.

For me, that definitely includes seeking out worship opportunities and it is hard for me to understand why Christians wouldn't seek out fellowship with other Christians specifically to worship and participate as a faith community.

DH grew up in a Christian family that was quite devout, but didn't attend church. (I won't get into the reasons) We attend church regularly and DH feels he missed something special as a child.

 

[ChrisandDon'sMommy]

Really now? - my sister is a recovering alcoholic. She did two stints through rehab which did not take, AA did not take, but has been successful at self rehab (at least right now - she's an alcoholic - a huge proportion of them fall off the wagon regardless of method used).

My best friends father is a self-rehab recovering alcoholic - he's been dry for 30 years.....

My assistant minister has been dry for about fifteen - guess what - self-rehab.

Well, good for the exceptions to the rule.

Crisi, for someone who's stated that she's (or he's) not Christian, in all honesty, why are you so worried about the opinions of others that follow that religion? No one's being indignant to anyone; rather, they are sharing their opinions and quite frankly, being quite civil to each other.

Interesting observation, Disykat.

 

[Zoesmama03]

I agree think the way it sounds they meant it as a bad thing.

I would say its intended for Christians that do not attend a church(like myself, just haven't found a church that fit yet) some people get so outraged over someone saying they are Christian but when asked don't have a church they attend. To me its no worse than someone who claims to be Christian attends church but the rest of the week is completely different or worse stays for service and rushes off. They don't say anything about those folks.

 

[Aliceacc]

In the weeks after 9/11, the churches were packed!!!

Where did all those people go?

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Wow! Can I just say I never expected this thread to get to 4 pages?! I figured it would have either died or been locked by now -- kudos to all the folks keeping it nice, and I am enjoying the conversation!

And I too wonder where all the folks are that showed up after 9/11...I remember keeping the doors open 24/7 for awhile, so people would have a place to go.