OT -- What is a Stay At Home Christian?

[ilandrazdsw]

I'm going OT within my OT post! -- We sent home a notice asking parents to not allow their children to bring electronic devices into church or Sunday School -- not the parents, just the kids.

I'd like to say I am surprised, but honestly I'm not

I do have to admit that we are I guess Stay-at-home Christians...and I hate it!!! Our problem is we live in an area that does not have my denomination. We attend Sunday School at a church that is "close", but (I say ashamed) have little involvement in church activities (choir, jr. church, etc) and are not members. This is not how I was raised and not how I want to raise my children. We were "kicked out" of the first church we attended because of a difference in doctrinal beliefs and a big stir in the church (ALL the leaders resigned). The second church we left on our own when I spoke to the pastor and he told me if I didn't like it I was free to leave...so we did and in the following year so did 1/2 the congregation. So this is the third and final church on the island. It is the closest to the Reformed denomination here and I do like the "feel" of the church (messages, people), but I am not 100% comfortable adn really miss the type of church in which I grew-up. SO, we will be moving back to the US to give our children the opprotunity to go to Christian school and have a consistent meaningful church life.
My parents have the same problem (left the first and second churches for the same reasons I stated, but don't feel comfortable at the third church). They are the stay-at-home Christians that listen to church on the radio and have devotionals.
Just wanted to give a little insite that not all stay-at-home Christians do so because of laziness, etc...not that anyone has said that!!!

 

[MommyBryn]

I've never even heard of that!

 

[quadsthen1]

I'd like to say I am surprised, but honestly I'm not

I do have to admit that we are I guess Stay-at-home Christians...and I hate it!!! Our problem is we live in an area that does not have my denomination. We attend Sunday School at a church that is "close", but (I say ashamed) have little involvement in church activities (choir, jr. church, etc) and are not members. This is not how I was raised and not how I want to raise my children. We were "kicked out" of the first church we attended because of a difference in doctrinal beliefs and a big stir in the church (ALL the leaders resigned). The second church we left on our own when I spoke to the pastor and he told me if I didn't like it I was free to leave...so we did and in the following year so did 1/2 the congregation. So this is the third and final church on the island. It is the closest to the Reformed denomination here and I do like the "feel" of the church (messages, people), but I am not 100% comfortable adn really miss the type of church in which I grew-up. SO, we will be moving back to the US to give our children the opprotunity to go to Christian school and have a consistent meaningful church life.
My parents have the same problem (left the first and second churches for the same reasons I stated, but don't feel comfortable at the third church). They are the stay-at-home Christians that listen to church on the radio and have devotionals.
Just wanted to give a little insite that not all stay-at-home Christians do so because of laziness, etc...not that anyone has said that!!!

I grew up very attached to a certain denomination and even as an adult into my mid 20s was very particular about my denomination. Now though, we have found a church that is non denominational and does some things as I was accustomed to, but also does some very different things. I have learned this. A Bible driven church is far more important than the denomination. Who created denominations anyway? Wasn't God! It was man. I would rather follow God and His word than anything some man with his own opinions created. When you follow the Bible you find that some things you didn't once agree with are clearly outlined in the Word as being right. So, that being said... good luck in your church hunt...follow God's leading.

 

[Kimberly Hill]

They're called "ChrEasters" here (pronounced kreester)

 

[momx2]

I find many of the posts here sad. A "headache smilie" because someone sits in "your" pew, that makes me sad. This is some of the reasons people don't attend church regularly. As much as you may say you hope they feel welcomed....trust me if the "headache smilie" is what comes to mind just because a visitor sits in "your" pew then they don't, trust me. The last I checked the church belonged to God, as would "your" pew.

We are in between churches right now and have always raised our children to go regularly. When we moved 7 years ago we found a church that seemed accepting to newbies and at first everything was fine. Then after a few years it became obvious that the members whose families were generations old felt superior to mine and other families. No matter how hard we tried and we were very active, but it didn't matter. Finely, my children had had enough of the treatment from "clique" kids and their "clique" parents, so we haven't been since May and we had been going and members for 6 years. We are trying to find another church. We have found one that the kids like, but the parents don't. So we are at a cross roads.

To answer the question, I have heard of C&Eers, but not "stay at home Christian." I guess technically that is what I am right now.

 

[luvmy3jewels]

As someone who I guess is now called a "stay at home Christian" I am appalled by some of the posts that are on here. Honestly, isn't judging others against most Christian doctrine? I always thought as Christians we welcome everyone into the church with open arms whenever they want to come. Churches should be more than just about finances and tithes.

I am a Christian and I believe that believing in Christ is much more than going to church every Sunday to mark a pew. I think it is more about how you behave and treat others every day of the week. It is about giving of yourself and beleiving...not judging others and complaining because someone took your pew!!!

 

[bethbuchall]

I find many of the posts here sad. A "headache smilie" because someone sits in "your" pew, that makes me sad. This is some of the reasons people don't attend church regularly. As much as you may say you hope they feel welcomed....trust me if the "headache smilie" is what comes to mind just because a visitor sits in "your" pew then they don't, trust me. The last I checked the church belonged to God, as would "your" pew.

We are in between churches right now and have always raised our children to go regularly. When we moved 7 years ago we found a church that seemed accepting to newbies and at first everything was fine. Then after a few years it became obvious that the members whose families were generations old felt superior to mine and other families. No matter how hard we tried and we were very active, but it didn't matter. Finely, my children had had enough of the treatment from "clique" kids and their "clique" parents, so we haven't been since May and we had been going and members for 6 years. We are trying to find another church. We have found one that the kids like, but the parents don't. So we are at a cross roads.

To answer the question, I have heard of C&Eers, but not "stay at home Christian." I guess technically that is what I am right now.

As someone who I guess is now called a "stay at home Christian" I am appalled by some of the posts that are on here. Honestly, isn't judging others against most Christian doctrine? I always thought as Christians we welcome everyone into the church with open arms whenever they want to come. Churches should be more than just about finances and tithes.

I am a Christian and I believe that believing in Christ is much more than going to church every Sunday to mark a pew. I think it is more about how you behave and treat others every day of the week. It is about giving of yourself and beleiving...not judging others and complaining because someone took your pew!!!

I totally agree. We are between churches at the moment. It is overwhelming to me to think about going into a new church, and these posts cemented that. Not going to church every Sunday does not make me less of a Christian. "Wherever two or more are gathered" works for our family.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Our church absolutely needs support way beyond financial and tithes -- none of the events or decisions can happen without participation. I think people who regularly attend are frustrated (I know I am), when we see full pews for holidays and empty pews the rest of the time. It means we can't move forward with projects, ideas and events, and it means that we do shoulder the bulk financially. My church, like most Protestant churches, is holding together by a financial shoe string. It makes me sad and frustrated that people show up for C&E, but are not interested the rest of the year...unless they have a baptism, wedding or funeral. I think what people need to realize is that the churches are in trouble and may not survive if they don't support them with their presence and gifts -- presence just as important as gifts, in our case. I know that churches will be consolidated and closed based on attendance. If our typical attendance is 60, and grows to 300 for holidays, there is a problem.

I want to work to fix that problem. I want to offer people what they need and want spiritually. I don't know how to do that -- but we do have a team that is working on church growth and I hope their ideas will inspire people to want to be present in the pews.

For me, being a Christian is far more than attending service regularly, and I freely admit that some people who do attend regularly do not behave in a Christian manner.

However, as part of my religion (and this is just me), when we become a church member we agree to support the church in 4 ways, one of which is our presence. So, I can't say I'm following the promises I made if I'm not there regularly.

I guess my point is that if you are not there when the church needs you, you can't complain if the church does not still exist when you decide you wish to be there. It's a shame, but it's a fact of life. We attend church in a different town because there is not one of our denomination in our neighborhood.

I hope I don't come off as judgemental -- what I am is very frustrated that we have not been able to get people to want to be at church year-round, and hopeful that we will find new ways to keep our congregation alive and engaged.

I didn't know there was a term for them, but that implies it is a widespread phenomena -- so if churches in general are not meeting people's needs, we should try to find out what we can do to change that.

 

[Debbie7452]

I was kidding about "our pew." Sorry if it didn't come across that way! I was headache smiling about the cell phone ringing...

We are creatures of habit and always sit in the same spot and get used to it. Those around us regularly do the same, as we always see the same families. I'm surprised they want to sit next to my DS 2 every week (who is till in training for proper church behavior). Of course, the church is first come, first served, so to speak!!

With 4 kids I have a hard time making it early enough to get my customary spot at crowded times...So anyway, please do not get upset with me. Gosh people here are harsh sometimes.

 

[EpcotSweetHrts0512]

As someone who I guess is now called a "stay at home Christian" I am appalled by some of the posts that are on here. Honestly, isn't judging others against most Christian doctrine? I always thought as Christians we welcome everyone into the church with open arms whenever they want to come. Churches should be more than just about finances and tithes.

I am a Christian and I believe that believing in Christ is much more than going to church every Sunday to mark a pew. I think it is more about how you behave and treat others every day of the week. It is about giving of yourself and beleiving...not judging others and complaining because someone took your pew!!!

 

[momx2]

I totally understand.....but our problem was that we were never totally accepted because we were "outsiders." We attended regularly. Our children were in the Wednesday night activities, I helped teach Mission Friends on Wednesdays for 3 years, my husband was in the choir. Still upstanding members wouldn't speak to me inside or outside of church. My children were treated differently. This went on for 6 years, enough is enough. My experience was not positive with this church and it has made me a "stay at home Christian." With some of the posts here, not yours OP, it is obvious why this is a wide spread problem.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I totally understand.....but our problem was that we were never totally accepted because we were "outsiders." We attended regularly. Our children were in the Wednesday night activities, I helped teach Mission Friends on Wednesdays for 3 years, my husband was in the choir. Still upstanding members wouldn't speak to me inside or outside of church. My children were treated differently. This went on for 6 years, enough is enough. My experience was not positive with this church and it has made me a "stay at home Christian." With some of the posts here, not yours OP, it is obvious why this is a wide spread problem.

Momx2 I am so sorry that happened to you, and I don't blame you for taking a break. Sometimes you have to heal before you try again. I do hope you will try again. Even though you did not have a good experience, you did a good thing by making the effort, and giving your time and talents to that church. I am so sorry it wasn't appreciated. But you never know -- you might have really made a difference to someone's life.

Sometimes people speak in a derogatory manner about "church shopping", but I think it's a great idea. Find a church that meets your needs before you commit yourself. Ask probing questions -- ask the minister to speak honestly to you. It's better for you and the entire congregation in the long run if you find a good fit, and not every place is a good fit for every person.

 

[Debbie7452]

Mom2X, that's awful what happened to you! I can't imagine what it was like. Now I can see how I was misinterpreted...Now I feel guilty that someone might not attend church because of my apparantly bad joke.

I want everyone to attend church or not as they see fit. We go because it what is right for our family...NOT because we are better than those who don't go.

We definitely shopped around for a church where we felt comfortable (within our denomination) when my DH and I were newly weds. Then a few years ago we decided to move to a smaller parish nearer our home. We are so happy with the decision, although change is hard for us.

So sorry, sorry, sorry! Forgiveness is also a Christian doctrine right?

 

[bethbuchall]

Mom2X, that's awful what happened to you! I can't imagine what it was like. Now I can see how I was misinterpreted...Now I feel guilty that someone might not attend church because of my apparantly bad joke.

I want everyone to attend church or not as they see fit. We go because it what is right for our family...NOT because we are better than those who don't go.

We definitely shopped around for a church where we felt comfortable (within our denomination) when my DH and I were newly weds. Then a few years ago we decided to move to a smaller parish nearer our home. We are so happy with the decision, although change is hard for us.

So sorry, sorry, sorry! Forgiveness is also a Christian doctrine right?

I know that you were joking. Unfortunately, others really feel that way. I have a few issues with anxiety, and the thought of walking into a church with a lot of people that I don't know makes me ill.

 

[momx2]

Thanks for the hugs and understanding. We are attending a church right now that doesn't seem to be a good fit for me or DH, but the kids love it. I don't know if we will stay there or not. We are going to address this in the upcoming year and try to make a decision as a family.

 

[barnaby1]

At our church we call the people who come for Christmas and Easter - CEOs - Christmas and Easter Only!

I grew up in Australia. For us we had "hatch 'em, match 'em and dispatch 'em" Christians or "submarine Christians" who are the ones who only surface when they are in trouble.

 

[sharlon]

As someone who I guess is now called a "stay at home Christian" I am appalled by some of the posts that are on here. Honestly, isn't judging others against most Christian doctrine? I always thought as Christians we welcome everyone into the church with open arms whenever they want to come. Churches should be more than just about finances and tithes.

I am a Christian and I believe that believing in Christ is much more than going to church every Sunday to mark a pew. I think it is more about how you behave and treat others every day of the week. It is about giving of yourself and beleiving...not judging others and complaining because someone took your pew!!!

Well said! Being a Christian is not about church, but about Christ and your personal relationship with Him.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

I grew up very attached to a certain denomination and even as an adult into my mid 20s was very particular about my denomination. Now though, we have found a church that is non denominational and does some things as I was accustomed to, but also does some very different things. I have learned this. A Bible driven church is far more important than the denomination. Who created denominations anyway? Wasn't God! It was man. I would rather follow God and His word than anything some man with his own opinions created. When you follow the Bible you find that some things you didn't once agree with are clearly outlined in the Word as being right. So, that being said... good luck in your church hunt...follow God's leading.

I do understand what you mean about denominations...they were created by man, not God! The Reformed faith have many denominations within it. There teachings that I believe, hold strong to, and want my children to learn from a more qualified person than myself (Minister, YP, Counsil)...not that it will not be taught and shown at home. The churches where I live are missing some of the teachings that I believe are very important. And honestly I miss the types of services and programs (youth, choir, etc) that the denomination I belonged to have. I still listen with open ears and heart because I know God can teach through any circumstance/place...it is just a human thing.

MomX2: My family went through a similar experience. I was accepted as a teenager, but my parents were snubbed because we were a new family to the church. Some of the women befriended my mom because she sang in the choir, but for the most part my parents get a luke-warm welcome. We moved after 4 years and have not been able to find a home church since due to frequent moves or few churches that could give the worship environment craved.

 

[lilybrooke14]

We've "shopped" around several churches in our area, and haven't found a proper fit yet. On one hand, I feel terribly guilty about not taking my DD every Sunday, on the other hand, the few times we've gone we've felt uncomfortable, or didn't click with the teachings at that particular church. We attend church when we head home to visit family, which is usually around the holidays. So I guess we're some of the holiday visitors. However, when we're there, we feel like we're in the right place, surrounded by family and friends. I really hope we can find that here at some point.

 

[ilandrazdsw]

We've "shopped" around several churches in our area, and haven't found a proper fit yet. On one hand, I feel terribly guilty about not taking my DD every Sunday, on the other hand, the few times we've gone we've felt uncomfortable, or didn't click with the teachings at that particular church. We attend church when we head home to visit family, which is usually around the holidays. So I guess we're some of the holiday visitors. However, when we're there, we feel like we're in the right place, surrounded by family and friends. I really hope we can find that here at some point.

I understand the "guilt" fo not going every Sunday. Then I thought about it...it is better to go every Sunday to go OR is it better to teach my children about beliefs and that you do not have to just settle? Gotta go with the latter...just a personal thing, not critizing others. I rather my children home doing Bible study and singing Sunday School songs than going to church where mommy and daddy come out of church upset and down right mad. Yes, this was a feeling at one church we attended, fortunately not at the one we are at now.
I pray that you find a home church where you fell at home!